gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Ok, pre plastics I would about have a heart attack - NEVER EVER EVER look down when doing planks or pushups. I was embarrassed to even be in a gym class knowing others could see it. Just don't look since all that hanging skin looked a bit like a cows udder unless I had on industrial strength Shapewear. In more intimate settings...OMG, certain positions were simply unimaginable due to that belly skin. My lover actually once moved my belly skin - I almost passed out I was mortified.

Now, my tummy is flat whether i be on my back, in a plank or whatever.... It was no picnic but i am so glad I had it done. People who haven't seen me since pre plastics think i have lost alot more weight but really it is just the skin. I just look toned - all that working out finally shows through.

One thing that helped me in deciding on plastics was to talk to people on the phone about it. I think it is easier to really dig into the dialog and questions that way... so anybody who is thinking about it, I have thoughts to share. I consulted with several local surgeons before going to Dr Sauceda and feel i have a reasonable handle on the trade offs (not talking money here - talking results and the patient experience). So if any of you are really thinking about it, I would definately be up for a phone chat - no matter what surgeon you choose I think there is a lot to know. Sweetpee on here is one of the few people that really tell the whole story about recovery, I feel that most gloss over just how long it takes. Today, my tummy swelled. It was not enough anybody could see it, but i can feel it and needed to put compression back on to feel good. My surgery was 4 months ago and I didn't have complications!!! This is considered normal, but you never hear people really talking about it that way. It was still totally worth it, but i think people should be better informed is all.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Okay, I can't type up an entire key note speech...haha... so this is the abbreviated version.

Jim Loehr is a world renowned "performance coach" - athletes, executives etc etc. He said a few things that really apply to US - the formerly obese.

He talked alot about how human speech is the thing that has allowed us to conceptualize ideas - words matter and words influence our neuropathways and can either help or hurt us in this journey through life.

Basic idea is you have an inner voice that says things to yourself like "I can do it!" or "I suck" or whatever. That inner voice is coached by something he calls your private voice. That voice says things like "You always screw up". The key is that the private voice refers to you as "you". That private voice is established in most of us starting around age 6... and is built up over time by the people that influence you. Most often it is parents, perhaps a coach, a grandparent, aunt/uncle etc. If that person used harsh language, your private voice becomes what he calls your internal "terrorist" wracking havoc on your emotional life. Many top performers had a harsh or perfectionist parent, coach or other key person that implanted that "you are a loser" tone. They have hard evidence based research that shows that emotional, mental abuse - including a parent that was a screamer - is actually harder to overcome than physical abuse for a child. Parents usually don't mean to be abusive, they are just repeating what they heard... and what their private voice says to them all the time.

I grew up in a household with extreme emotional and verbal abuse. You could not walk across the room without dad telling something horrible and negative - I was fat, ugly, stupid, lazy whatever. He treated all of us that way. I can remember him sitting watching me handwash dishes when I was a little kid... so little I had to stand on stool to reach the sink and him just berating me over not doing it right. It was like being parented by a spoiled brat 2 year old. No freaking wonder I sometimes feel negativity even though I am basically a positive person.

So he asked those of us that are parents how we would feel about words, and even tone we used, we said to our kids in a moment of anger - was it good coaching or would you die of embarrassment if those words were shown on the jumbo-tron TV in front of everyone?

Anyway, there is a way to fix this.

Keep a journal for 90 days. All that is in this journal is POSITIVE coaching. That doesn't mean denying the truth or being all candy and kisses... for example. If an athlethe cannot perfect a forehand in tennis. Positive coaching might be "that forehand needs more work, but you can do it and i know you are willing to do the work to acheive it" or something like that. Negative coaching would be "you suck and are you EVER gonna get that right?"

This journal should be filled with words that it wouldn't embarrass you if someone found it and read it. It should face the facts (ie no sugar coating) but be filled with words of love and encouragement not words of disdain and shame.

Frankly, I hear alot of shame talk around these forums... even among vets.

WORDS MATTER - they change your neuropathways. When you can start to change the words of your private voice - the words of your "coach" then organically your inner voice changes. When that inner voice changes you start saying things like "I can do this, I will do this" rather than "I am such a screw up"

So, this journal is the private voice - so it is "you statements". The comments should be dated. They should be relevant and meaningful. So stuff like "you are a good person" while nice, isn't really the point. It needs to be about something real in your life. So, every morning you committ to writing down something that is a relevant, honest, and meaningful coaching to yourself that you wouldn't be embarrassed for others to read should they find it. Try it for 90 days and see if you don't start having breakthroughs.

I was listening to this talk... and my private voice actually said "you always get excited about hearing this kind of thing, but then you NEVER follow through so what use is it? It's just a waste on you" I thought...holy crap, I just said that to myself, right now? While he was talking about it?

I thought for myself my first journal entry might be something like "in the past, you have heard motivational speakers who excited you, but you didn't always take advantage of what you learned. You have the discipline to do this journaling and overcome the negativity. You can do this and it will make your life even better"

Can you imagine how you might change your body image? How you might change your self love and acceptance if you didn't have an asshole for a coach but instead somebody who was caring and supportive while still holding you accountable?

"You've done such a good job losing 1XX pounds, you should be so proud of yourself. You can and will continue to make good choices more and more of the time and you can meet your fitness goals" Isn't that alot better than "You lost 1xx but still look like crap - what the hell is wrong with you!?!"?

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Shite! I just wiped out my answers to you guys... OK... 

Dee...Pneumonia! Goodness girlfriend, do take extra good care of yourself. When it rains it pours. 

 

Sheila, good to see you! You deserve a medal for catching up. 25 pages! Your eyes must be killing you.  I am so proud of you going to that Business for Creatives class, it sounds really perfect for you. Best of luck with that! After I read the twin story that Georgia posted I went hunting for the horrizons program that they did, I found it and posted a link in the Research forum... http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/296312-low-fat-versus-low-sugar/page-2

 

Sheryl, Years ago I read a book that had a heavy emphasis on self talk, I put it to work and it really did help and quickly too. I will try your suggestion, I know it will make a difference. I have a couple of things Im off track about that I can think of, and probably others I am not aware of yet....

 

Sarah, You are  an inspiration girl! Good going! I know I am not ready to change anything about my behavior (eating wise) right now... but I will, and then.... I should be able to get off of this maintenance plateau....

[BrownDoesAll 409]

CGJ sounds fasinating. I think of myself as a positive person but there is a bit oof self loathing going on in the head. I think I wiLl give this a try

Hope everyone feels better soon. May have missed it did OD find here purse? Way to go Cathy! We slow losers must Celebrate the losses. Globe how's the move going? I bet the scale is down or the same when u get back to it. M2 good to hear from u. One last push to complete your degree. SaR if u didn't win the challenge u still won! Pounds down is always a win!

I know I am forgetting some. So sorry I read the posts and feel for everyone. This is such a good group to check in and stay connected. With all the trials of life its nice to take a minute to focus on u ladies and then in turn focus on me and my thoughts.

Still doing curves. Bouncing around the scale. I've seen some new lows but then up a pound. U know the drill. Still trying to get the discipline to eat clean for at least 5 days in a row. Still trying. Its a mindset and my mind is set on satisfaction through sweets.

I am searching for the right nursing home for my mother. She's 76 and does dialysis 3 days a week. She must use a walker to get around and is weak most of the time. She's been trying to live on her own with the help of home care to help her get dressed in the mornings and in the evenings. With the bad weather lately the home care isn't getting to her and its been a struggle getting her up and out. I live across town and can't always get to her. She's ready for some more care. Any advice u have on this journey would be appreciated. I am her only child so this is kinda hard for me.

Well keep the faith ladies stay strong!!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Sarah- I am really for real serious about plastics and Sauceda, maybe we can be plastics buddies! My preference would be to try to do it when I return to the States, then head up north to WA.

Sheryl - I think this 90 day challenge is excellent and I will join you in it, how about we officially start on Valentine's Day, the day of love?

My conditions here - nothing like MASH, maybe a tiny bit like China Beach, lol. I have to walk to the latrines, to the showers, wear shoes in the shower, brush my teeth with bottled Water. My room is a plywood cubicle with walls that are really just dividers that go up about 8 feet so you hear everything from everyone else. It's cold right now but the Polish girls in my hut don't comprehend that you can be comfortably warm without baking yourself, they keep cranking the heat upwards of 30 celcius which is not only unnecessary but will also break the heat and we will be without.

food is very very salty, processed, fake, and no doubt chock full of GMO and hormones and who knows what.

The office is more of the same only no heat, we have some little heaters that sputter and try but don't quite remove the chill from your feet.

[M2G 1,836]

Well, thank you for sharing your insight Sheryl. That was nice of you to put that inspirational seminar into a couple of paragraphs for us to ponder. I like to *think* that my voice is 90% positive but I *know* I've had my dark moments (especially when I was morbidly obese, I used to go to bed at night and turn over in my mind the things I ate and how it contributed to my MO, etc.) but I have to say I'm much more of an eternal optimist so I like to think my voice is kind to myself, but there is always room for improvement. I really do like the idea of jotting down what that voice says. I've never tried that and I think there is a lot to be learned from doing it!

Wanda, I'm so sorry about your mom. My FIL is in the exact same situation, except his mother is sliding towards 90 (I think she is about 88ish?) and she STILL LIVES ON HER OWN and she lives in Mississisppi and he lives here in Denver. Also he made her a PROMISE years ago that he would NEVER put her in assisted living. So he has literally spent half of last year (like in chunks, gone Mar-July then Aug-Dec.) LIVING in Miss. trying to put pieces of the puzzle together in order to allow her to continue to live in her OWN HOME. He is also an only child and has many cousins and other relatives that live in this small town in MIss with her, but honestly at the end of the day he feels as if this is HIS responsibility. So while I don't have any words of advice, I do understand the struggle and I hope and pray that you can find something that is going to work for her. I'm so proud of you for joining Curves and more importantly for GOING. Signing up for a membership does you NO GOOD unless you go several times a week (or whatever your schedule allows.) I'm glad you found something to be committed to right now.

Sarah do you have to take classes or is it physical or both to be a PT. I *know* my PT always jokes that she's not in it for the money. But she TRAINS so much all the time. For instance on Tues she teaches 5 classes. She starts at 10am with our women & weights (usually 6-10 women), then teaches 2 back to back silver sneakers classes (big classes, like 25-35 seniors, but I don't think she goes to "easy" on them.) Then I don't know what other 2 classes she teaches or if the last 2 hours of her day are just spent doing one-on-one PT but she DOES workout with us. When she is one-on-one I'm not sure what she does, if she just stands and WATCHES the person do THEIR work or what? I've seen other PT's doing that...they stand, correct, watch, but don't workout at the same time if that makes sense. But when she does small group or big group she is DOING the work. So interesting...anyway would love to hear more about what you are doing in that regard.

Thanks Florinda for sharing more...ugh...the shuffle to the shower would just SUCK. Reminds me of college when the shower was down the hall. So awkward carrying your little basket o stuff, with just a robe on. Do the Polish girls speak English? It would be hard to "share" space with people that aren't your immediately family ...heck sometimes it IS hard to share space with your immediate family but at the root of everything is LOVE. Notsomuch with bunk mates, co-workers, etc. Ugh. I really feel for you!

Well after taking a much needed break from fasting in the last couple of weeks, I finally did a real good fast on Mon. and I'm reminded WHY I like fasting, because I felt SO GOOD. I tried to do another fast day on Tues but I think I probably ended up in the neighborhood of 900-1000 cals instead so it really wasn't a fast day. I plan to get another GOOD fast day in this week and then I will feel like I'm back in the groove of my 5:2! Woo hoo!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I am searching for the right nursing home for my mother. She's 76 and does dialysis 3 days a week. She must use a walker to get around and is weak most of the time. She's been trying to live on her own with the help of home care to help her get dressed in the mornings and in the evenings. With the bad weather lately the home care isn't getting to her and its been a struggle getting her up and out. I live across town and can't always get to her. She's ready for some more care. Any advice u have on this journey would be appreciated. I am her only child so this is kinda hard for me.

 

Well keep the faith ladies stay strong!!

My folks are both in their 80s... dad is 87. They are heading there fast too... mom is "going" quickest... her shorter term memory is starting to blank out... and dad really helps with all her meds and such. He needs help, but really does not want anyone else coming to the house for day care... I have looked up some places she can go to during the day so he can have a break... art /memory... programs for seniors and some live in places too...She really does not want to be in a "home" but when it comes right down to it, my place, my brothers place... they are tiny and I am gone most of the time at work, we have stairs.... only one bedroom.... I hate to even think about a home for her... but hoping to find some place with an arts program (she is an artist) to support what she loves, and close enough so I can get over there often.

 

.... It's cold right now but the Polish girls in my hut don't comprehend that you can be comfortably warm without baking yourself, they keep cranking the heat upwards of 30 celcius which is not only unnecessary but will also break the heat and we will be without.

 

food is very very salty, processed, fake, and no doubt chock full of GMO and hormones and who knows what.

 

The office is more of the same only no heat, we have some little heaters that sputter and try but don't quite remove the chill from your feet.

Sounds like my school! Hopefully your new digs will be better, but I bet more of the same. can you personalize your space at all?  

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Wanda it is a really hard decision to make about putting your mom in a care home. No words can make you feel better but just know that we are all here for you and are praying for your mom.

Kim your parents are doing pretty good. My in-laws lived on their on until they were 95 years old and my FIL took care of my MIL when when she started having dementia. He didn't want anyone to come in and help with the chores but finally gave in. They even had Meals on Wheels for Senior Citizens that was helpful for them. But then he told them to stop because it was too much food for them.

Sheila you have done a great job hitting on all the posts! I wish I could do that...LOL Yes our thoughts on food is like a alcoholics mindset too.......I find that I do really good when I stay away from my crack which is sugar.

Today I'm getting closer to my old low of 145 lbs. Just 2 lbs to go. I just couldn't do the 5:2 fast day, on some days I get to a certain point and I start getting light headed and a bit dizzy so then I start looking for food. Does this happen to anyone else and how do you handle this...?

Florinda I couldn't life there..I would definately want to be right next to the bathroom. LOL My early morning needed to pee would not let me sleep. Will you be coming back to the states in 2 weeks? This is quite a transitional period for you not knowing where you will be..... Let us know how your doing...

Off to start my day with healthy eating with little to no sugar... ;p

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Bill had given the waitress a very nice tip, so she put my purse in the safe. . I gave her a reward too. I was so thankful to get it back.

I've been away from the scale for almost a week, and I don't like that! I am really curious to see if I've gained from this trip.

I'll be glad when life gets back to normal at home. Although now Bill says he wants to come here and help his niece start her business so I guess we will be coming back often.

We are leaving Portland soon, so I will be able to open 2 windows so I can comment one what's been going on with everyone when I get home. Home Sweet Home. Vacations are fun, but it's always good to get home.

Edited February 12, 2014 by Oregondaisy

[UK Cathy 977]

Florinda, sounds really basic, no wonder it is good money. When you move on is it going to be somewhere a little more luxurious or are you not allowed to say? How are you getting on without the scales, personally I would be a bit worried as I jump on mine every day.

Dee, sorry to hear about the pneumonia, you must be feeling a bit weak and fed up. You have certainly been through the mill the past few months. I hope you are feeling good about being back in your home - unpack the basics and leave the others until you are feeling well. {{hugs}}.

Wanda, wishing you well in finding the most appropriate accommodation for your mum. What I will say is that you will know it as soon as you walk in the door, you will feel the atmosphere and the love and you will just know that they will care for your mum.

Coops hope your spirits have lifted, though this weather is enough to make anyone feel down. I just read on BBC news site that 42000 home in S. Wales have no power due to the weather - hope you are not affected.

Sheila good to see you back.

Sheryl I have that inner voice that goes to the negative first, I need to work on that.

Now I'm overweight I need to give myself another mini-goal and that is 167. In the UK we tend to weigh in stones and pounds with 14lb=1St so at my current weight of 169 is 12St 1lb so 167 will put me in the 11's. I must admit though since mixing with you guys I have changed my scale to weigh in lbs only.

[sarsar 824]

I'm going to try to post pics. I won't keep them up long bc I don't like pics of me in my bra floating around.

I'm not sure if this will work or not I'm on my cell and my daughter has been trying to tell me how to do this.

The pics on the left are me at around 152-155 and 24% body fat if I remember correctly.

The ones on the right were taken last night. 142 pounds and 18% body fat. My trainer said my body fat probably went down a couple since she checked it last month.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Sarah! Looking good and strong girl! 18%? You are an athlete!

[UK Cathy 977]

Sarah, I'm amazed the difference 10lb makes.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I love these pics! You look absolutely skinny and beautiful!

I'm going to try to post pics. I won't keep them up long bc I don't like pics of me in my bra floating around.

I'm not sure if this will work or not I'm on my cell and my daughter has been trying to tell me how to do this.

The pics on the left are me at around 152-155 and 24% body fat if I remember correctly.

The ones on the right were taken last night. 142 pounds and 18% body fat. My trainer said my body fat probably went down a couple since she checked it last month.

[Georgia 2,908]

I'm going to try to post pics. I won't keep them up long bc I don't like pics of me in my bra floating around.

I'm not sure if this will work or not I'm on my cell and my daughter has been trying to tell me how to do this.

The pics on the left are me at around 152-155 and 24% body fat if I remember correctly.

The ones on the right were taken last night. 142 pounds and 18% body fat. My trainer said my body fat probably went down a couple since she checked it last month.

Wow! You gots muscles!!!!   Popeye aint got nothin' on you!  LOL  You look fabulous!