gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Denise - this guy actually said he wanted to go out again... it wasn't implied, he asked me if I was interested. I am a little stunned really by that whole chain of events... I don't expect to hear from him. Who the heck knows what the deal is - maybe he really isn't looking for a relationship and just lies and says he is? sigh

149 today, back into the right "decade". I re-joined a gym even though I prefer working out at home i need a turbo charge right now to get me going. I have done two group classes and feeling good about it. Going to meet with the trainer to get me started on some weights although I much prefer the group classes.

Put my new horse in a barn - trainer rode her monday and said she was super good even after nearly 3 months off... yeah! I plan to ride her on Wednesday.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I feel like I am in a "growth opportunity" phase too. Feeling very uncomfortable about several things, but just trying to take a deep breath and look for the opportunity. I once heard in a teaching I went too- "Most people run away when they meet a difficult situation, but there is gold buried in that pile of sh1t! If you run away, you won't find it!" (paraphrased, but not that much!)... Dalai Lama!!! I always remember that, but sometimes I still just want to run away before I find the gold!

I find that I do want to run from the uncomfortable things but when I do stick it out, it has been so rewarding for me.

Growth is an everyday experience for me. Especially when it comes to my eating and relationships with others....

 

 

I'm so lucky ,. I am 61 and i have long dark hair and I don't have to color it. I hope I never get grey hair because I would hate to have to keep it short just so I can color it all the time.

 

 

I have long hair and have to color it to get rid of the gray's. I should do it about every 5 to 6 weeks and my roots are the only part of my hair that gets colored mostly.  I would hate to have to get rid of my lone hair....My hair really misbehaves when it's short, gets kinda frizzy.

 

 

 

Okay, on day two fast this week. Yes, I am doing two back to back because of schedule this week.

Since I fell headlong into chocolate free fall last week in NOLA, I need it anyway!

 

That was something that hasn't happened in a whole and I have to admit I Loved it! Ha! The girls wanted some half price Christmas candy at CVS while I was getting my flu shot. We bought a bag of Kisses and M&Ms. . You know what happened, right?

 

Three little girls and me had a wonderful orgy of chocolate over the next four days AND beignets too! For those of you who haven't had the delightful experience of beignets, you just haven't lived yet!

 

Needless to say, I was up a couple of pounds. Not over my bounce but.... I guess I should feel regretful, BUT I DONT! Ha!

I could see myself here with the chocolate....I love chocolate, it is my down fall.....I admire that you can do 2 days back to back fasting....I do find that after a fast day, it is easier to eat less the next day...

 

Yesturday i started to get excited because I was down to my old 144 lbs after a fast day....today I'm back up to 147 lbs... I kept my diet clean eating and under the 1200 calories I typically eat... One of the problems that I have here is that i am not sleeping. My doctor put me on crestor and I realized that it interferes with my sleep and also I was experiencing some bladder spasms. I took myself off the crestor and the bladder spasms stopped but I'm still not sleeping. I don't know what to do to improve my sleep patterns without taking my valium or xanax. i am concerned about the addictive part of this.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I have to take sleeping pills. I gave up. I spent too many years trying to live on very few hours of sleep. I was a mess.

 

Last night I got an email from Nex and he called me sweetheart. He's never done that. It really made my heart feel warm.

 

I am glad Allen's daughter moved away so I don't have to hear about him anymore.

 

I m also really glad to be ending all the telephone calls from Larry. He's on antibiotics now so we can finally meet.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I wish my doctor would prescribe Xanax. All I need is a tiny dose to keep me from amping up when it hits... I have just a few left over from when the doc prescribed them for my surgery anxiety. Now she wants me to go on a daily med which I don't want to do.

I have been sleeping very poorly and i know that is part of my mood stabilization issue.

So, I think that bouncing 145-147 is normal - my body retains Water at times when I don't expect it.... I don't think we can get too worried about a few weighs - it is the trends to watch. I am slowly but steadily trending back to 148 my new goal.... 149 this morning...

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Denise I think you've got a point.....sleeping pills are looking brighter every day..... Sleepnessless really sucks....

What a relief it will be for you to be rid of Allen's daughter....Out with the old and in with the new I say.....for me, it is hard to let go of some things but when I finally do, it feels really good too. 

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Sheryl i told my doctor that I was having times when I felt really anxious and was "worried" about stupid stuff and he prescribed the xanax for me because it's short acting....I use to be afraid to ask for something bc I thought they would think I was seeking drugs, but to my surprise, he's really open to it.

[sarsar 824]

Have any of you used Melatonin? I have a terrible time falling asleep and have had to take something for probably 5 years or so now. I used to take Ambien every night but about a year ago my PCP wanted to me stop or cut down bc she heard it caused cancer in some people. I take it 2 or 3 nights a week now and I take Melatonin on the other nights. She would rather I don't take the Ambien at all but the nights I take it are the only nights I fall asleep and sleep well and wake up like I had a good sleep.

[sarsar 824]

Sheryl, I'm surprised your doctor doesn't want to give you Xanax to use as needed. I would think the Dr. would rather you try that instead of going on something daily. Maybe you can ask whoever you are going to see about that.

I use Xanax as needed. Sometimes I can go weeks without using it at all. Sometimes I need to use it more often. I don't use it daily, though.

[Georgia 2,908]

Denise I think you've got a point.....sleeping pills are looking brighter every day..... Sleepnessless really sucks.... What a relief it will be for you to be rid of Allen's daughter....Out with the old and in with the new I say.....for me, it is hard to let go of some things but when I finally do, it feels really good too.

Have you tried taking melatonin 30 minutes before bed? I am in the same boat for the last few weeks. Friend recommended. Has to be the quick absorb you out under tongue. Seems to help me a bit.

[Georgia 2,908]

Have any of you used Melatonin? I have a terrible time falling asleep and have had to take something for probably 5 years or so now. I used to take Ambien every night but about a year ago my PCP wanted to me stop or cut down bc she heard it caused cancer in some people. I take it 2 or 3 nights a week now and I take Melatonin on the other nights. She would rather I don't take the Ambien at all but the nights I take it are the only nights I fall asleep and sleep well and wake up like I had a good sleep.

Ha! I only read part way down and responded to Ms Skinniness and then I see your post. I recommended melatonin too!!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Yes, I have tried Melatonin. Sometimes it will help me fall asleep but I don't stay asleep.

 

Sheryl Just tell your doctor you have anxiety attacts at times and you want the medicine as needed. All those SSRI's that they push cause weight gain!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Yikes Jane, that was a bit of a presumption on Brits part! Probably an understory you won't want to get to know...

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, its usually several things piling up that I don't have control over or that aren't going my way... if I sit down and list what I feel like... hopeless is the bad one that trigers anxiety, then I list what the things are that make me feel hopeless, then I look to see if there is anything I can do to counteract the feeling... communication, action, whatever... and schedule some of that, and if I can do something right away..... that helps almost immediately to some extent. If I don't let it go too long, then I can usually manage those stressful types of ecperiences. The old saying, "do what you can, and let go of what you can't" is a good one, but when I "can't" sometimes it makes me sad. I am attached to holding on. Attachment. I confuse attachment with love, and really, thats more objectivesiing than love. Its mistaken thinking on my part...

As an example, I was feeling bad about all the birds and animals that get killed and disrupted by human behavior. Poisoned, run over, shot, on and on. Sometimes when I think about this it makes me hate people generally. Not really productive! Or true! I want to make a difference, but the problem is so huge... I feel overwhelmed. So I made a list of things I might do, small things, but things I have control over. So I took some things over to a wildlife rescue place near by, some things from their wish list. I also made some art for a show, and dedicated $50 from any one that sold to go to the same wildlife rescue place. Just a little thing, but it did make me feel at least there was something I could do, however little.

Edited January 7, 2014 by feedyoureye

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Hey I was made a host but I am not sure what I am supposed to do with it,

 

I saw in the powder room someone said a host can move a thread,. How do you do that? what else can we do?

[Chimera 644]

I have Clonazepam for anxiety - usually for long car trips - I feel like taking some now because the next two days are our winter faculty retreat. Don't be fooled, it sounds like a spa day but is anything but.

This one will feature two grueling days of retooling college curriculum on an unprecedented scale...I love the work, but it is the politics and hysterical nature of a handful of my colleagues that totally freaks me out.

 

The scale is down which is excellent - I am so far ahead of my 1 lbs a week goal for losses - this is good. I bought Tracey Anderson's Metamorphosis DVD workout and the dance-cardio disc is a killer - 30 straight minutes of jumping - it will take me a bit to get used to it. Not to mention the old knees.

 

I am fasting today, and planning on Friday as well - at 130 cals. so far. Going to really focus on the hydration which is one reason I think my weight can balloon - I think I must have a hump like a camel lol.

 

I think I will put those anti-anxiety meds in my bag for tomorrow lol.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

My doc wants me to go on some horrible daily drug and they cause all sorts of side effects. I don't need xanax daily... just a small dose, maybe right now a few times a week but I think once under control, just occasional. They hate you using it because of the addiction risk. Trust me, I have asked - she relented and gave me a tiny amount for the surgery. I will admit my friend P that went with me to Mexico had a more generous prescription and I did take it a few times when things were going to happen that stressed me - drain removal etc. Anyway, it is very frustrating. I am going to see another person next week that is a nurse who also does therapy so she can prescribe drugs. I will try to have an open mind but I am fairly adament I don't want to start on a daily anti depressant/anti anxiety. I don't want the side effects and the weight gain.

There are alot of things that I have complex emotions about but the heart stopping anxiety is because I can't concentrate at work and I just get further and further behind. It's awful.