gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[UK Cathy 977]

Sheryl, horrible decision to make. It would seem that the dog has reached its natural end but again we don't want to say when. I know it was horrible when I had to make the decision on the cat recently. It felt bad but I knew it was the right decision too. XXX

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Today was a very stressful day. I made the appointment for Saturday to have him put to rest, peacefully. The boys are out of town, but I called them. They are a half days drive a way and decided they would drive home to be with him. I explained that dogs live "in the moment" and i would be there to be sure his passing was peaceful but they felt strongly they wanted to be there. This dog is quite literally the last remnant of their childhoods and quite meaningful. They have never lost a pet before so although they are adults, it brings out the children in them.

So, my EX comes over and loses his mind. He was not rational. I had other shit going on (explained below) and I finally said "it is your call, work it out with the boys, but you know my opinion". So, he cancelled the vet appointment and is taking the old dog for the weekend.

He called me later and i could tell he was crying, and he just said "I know you are right, but this was just so sudden, maybe Monday"

I can accept that. Boston isn't eating, but he is moving around pretty good especially since he is off all pain meds - he is more alert. My ex is taking him for the weekend starting tonight which takes a little pressure off me. I feel just sick about it too, so I know where he is at with this.

So, my home remodel has gone really well in the big picture, but there have been issues. One of the guys punched a hole in my garage door yesterday - heaven knows how. So in the middle of the nightmare above, the contractor sent out the garage door expert. Contractor being very fair - paying for the repair or if I decided to get a whole new door, I would only pay the difference. $550 for repair that the contractor is paying for... and additional $250 I get a new garage door. Actually, a good deal for me when you think about ti considering this door is vintage 1980 and has issues... but, the stress of all this just kinda piled up today. To make it worse, the garage door guy was hitting on me. I should be flattered, but, I have a dying dog, emotional baggage with my ex, a hole in my garage door and an issue with the "last touches" on my remodel, not to mention an upset family and some shit at work... I was not flattered I was just overwhelmed. I actually wanted to cry.

Anyway, deep breath.

After all this, one of my best pals and I went horseback riding. I am helping her build confidence, pushing her limits in a safe way. I had wild child pony (remember, the pony I sold who came back!) who is actually faster than our riding horses. He is a little pistol. Anyway, I was leading him while riding my horse and we were careening around the park at alarming speeds having a helluva good time.

Then, we stopped at a mexican restaurant and had a beer and shared some street tacos. Life is good, in spite of it's many challenges.

I come home, and old dog is still not eating, but he is moving around and fairly lively. I feel like it his last hurrah.

I am waiting for the EX to come and pick him up.

Sheryl, horrible decision to make. It would seem that the dog has reached its natural end but again we don't want to say when. I know it was horrible when I had to make the decision on the cat recently. It felt bad but I knew it was the right decision too. XXX

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I miss you all. Wish all posted more but I know life interferes.

My ex took old dog Boston for the weekend and really understands it is time. Old sweetie is moving around pretty good (last hurrah) but not keeping anything down.

Appointment us Monday. I have been the one pushing for it...knowing it is time and yet devastated the time is here.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

160.1# this morning so stayed same as last week. Still gonna make 158 by Halloween and ideally 150 by new year...we shall see!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So the old dog was put to sleep yesterday late afternoon. He was ready, he was tired, he was done. It still broke my heart and i cried all night. I feel like crap today.

[UK Cathy 977]

Sheryl a big {{hug}} for you. I know it is real hard. They were a part of our lives and we really love them.

I have spent the weekend with mum. I sent her dog away for 2 weeks training and she came home this weekend. The trainer has done marvellous things and I'm grateful. I think he now needs to take the mum away and train her!! Love be her she is 84 and change is hard. I have spent the last 2 days trying to repeat what the trainer said and it is so hard for her to get. She is using different words and confusing the dog. I think even I ended up confused.

A problem with a WC meant I spent an extra night do I could get a plumber. An extra night I could do without but hey mum comes first.

Early shift tomorrow so I need my sleep. XX

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I'm sorry about your dog, Sheryl. It was extremely depressing for my when my dog died. It was so depressing, I decided I wouldn't get another dog.

glad your remodel is going well. I hated remodeling. Things were a mess for such a long time.

I'm going to Portland tomorrow. I know you will all think I am crazy. My friend has gone to this medium/psychic 4 times and has been amazed every single time. I don't know if any of you have seen that show on tv "Long Island Medium" Anyway, I am going with an open mind and I'm wondering what she will have to tell me. It's a great idea to get out of town, and see my granddaughter. My dil is pregnant with another girl, and I am sad for my son. He never had a dad, now he will never get to be a dad to a son.

I have my first phsical therapy tomorrow and I am glad to be finding out what I am allowed to do in the gym. These lazy mornings have got to go. I need some endorphins.

I wonder why Globe has not checked in. I hope everyone is not going to fall away. Kim usually checks in too.

[coops 1,790]

Hugs Sheryl x

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Here I am!

Someone asked if I had a good time on the trip and the answer is more complicated than is reasonable to expect...

The difference between a cranky toddler and a cranky senior citizen is that you can pick up the toddler and forcibly put them to bed or reprimand them ( I said CAN, not that you SHOULD). One really cannot do these things with a physically capable, mentally capable adult.

So, if anyone out there has ever attempted to go on a trip with a toddler, that is how it was. You know better than the toddler, but they don't accept that. You know how things work, but the toddler wants to do it herself, making a mess and wasting time and getting frustrated and ending up in a screaming fit.... The toddler thinks they can go all day and stay up late but they really can't....

However!

It was also like taking the 7 yr old child to Disneyland for the very first time... seeing their face Christmas morning when they still totally believe in Santa... taking a child who has only known the desert, to the ocean for the first time....

I finally appreciated why parents will sacrifice money and have a miserable time themselves, to make a child happy because the wonder on their face, the feelings you know they are feeling, are totally worth it.

So, did I have a good time? No. Did I have a good time? Yes.

My favorite moments include:

Getting situated on our first plane, buckled in, bags arranged, checking out our individual monitors, and my Mom suddenly realizing we were going to spend the majority of our flight OVER Water, crossing an ocean! It really seemed like this hadn't occurred to her before!

Waking up the first morning at like 5am with the church bells, sniffing the bread baking at the nearby bakery...

Turning into the Piazz della Signoria for the very first time and seeing simultaneously, the first of the massive sculptures in front of the Palazzo Vecchio and my Mothers awestruck face...

Our early morning walk to the Palazzo Pitti, before anything was open and the cobblestone streets were shining from the night's rain and we popped into a glowing little cafe for our morning cappucinni...

Sitting alone at Cafe Rivoire, on the Piazza della Signoria, sipping my mocha, journaling, and just listening and watching and smelling...

The first morning we were back in Seattle, we woke up at 5am and missed our coffees, and watched videos on youtube of how the real pros make a Cappuccino, and how the winners of the international competitions do it, and it made us want one so badly that we got up got dressed and went in search of one

My eating is completely inside out and upside down; I drink a couple of coffees a day, and then eat half an apple and some cheese for dinner, or a single slice of veggie GF pizza, or the insides of a burrito, or some ground beef and spaghetti sauce. I haven't really cooked since coming back, and haven't been tracking and haven't been weighing. I'm afraid to weigh, obviously, and I'm sullen over my severe pre-vacation efforts going SO unrewarded...

I am on my work computer but when I am on my own at home I will upload some pics from the trip

[UK Cathy 977]

Great to hear from you Florinda, glad you had a GOOD time with your mum. You have made great memories with her and they will be with both of you forever. Did you ever find that perfect cappuccino in the States? I suppose you have been spoiled with the amazing Italian ones and you are going to be comparing everything to them for some time.

I'm on half term break and for some reason we have been given 2 weeks when it is usually 1. You got 1 week Coops? Anyway I'm not complaining and I'm looking forward to the peace and quiet. I might even do my Christmas shopping.

We are really quiet on here at the moment, hope everyone is well.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Back from vacay, not even going to weigh myself till next week. Didn't eat pizza or Pasta or drink wine, don't even remember really eating anything, just drinking a lot of coffee, lol. Lampredotto, mushrooms, a few bites of my Mother's panino, affogato, cappuccino, we cooked for ourselves - sardines and greens, and had a glass of champagne the last night. But mostly it was a cappuccino in the morning, lots of walking, another coffee at midday with a shared pastry, a ton more walking, and then some salad or nothing for dinner. Seriously, I cannot remember eating a real meal except for the very first night we arrived - sauteed porcinis and peas and prociutto. So, going to have to detox from the sugar in those cappuccini, and the lovely carbs in those morning cornetti.

I am so jealous! It's really nice to get out of the comfort zone and see with new eyes for a change. Im looking forward to some adventures sooner than later as well. Italy! Would love to go there again.....

I am up at this early hour due to sick old dog. He is no longer keeping food down. He vomited foam after digesting the mild chicken/rice I home cooked for him since he can't tolerate dog food anymore. He is 14, arthritic and has a spinal problem. It is time to let him go but the kids are adamantly opposed. I have been going along with palliative care for about 5 months and have reached the point where I don't care what the family thinks, I can't let him keep suffering.

As part of the "treatment " for the vomiting he must be taken off the 3 pain meds he is on for 3 days. Tomorrow he will start hurting.

It just isn't right but in a family of males I am the only one brave enough to face this.

So sad.... He was a good boy. Sometimes things happen that the men just cant fix, even if they will it as hard as they can....

So the old dog was put to sleep yesterday late afternoon. He was ready, he was tired, he was done. It still broke my heart and i cried all night. I feel like crap today.

So sorry Sheryl.... I have little Sukie buried in the back yard....I still go out and tell her I love and miss her, and hope her new life somewhere is good.

Well, I took my first two motorcycle lessons.... and this weekend (today and tomorrow) will take the second two.... hope I can manage to get good enough to go through with getting my licence.... and LOTS more practice. I have been a anxiety ridden mess! Really trying to keep it calm and cool, applying extra measures and things are a little better. I assume its the motorcycle thing... even though I am having a blast..... I am on a mission to get to Alaska next year, and have a long way to go before I am ready.... getting my license is just the first step! We will be crossing Washington if I get that far.... perhaps we can camp in your yard Sheryl? Sorry I have been slack in checking in..... brain is FULL to the brim. Take care all.... I will checkin after this weekend and let you know if I need to go for more professional lessons or if I am ready to get my license!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@Oregondaisy it is sad to lose a beloved pet, and I spent about a day or two declaring I would NEVER get another pet... but of course I have changed my mind because I love my pets... they enrich my life. Remember, I still have old cat (pushing 18) and old horse (pushing 24) so at the time Boston was dying I had that whole... "oh I can't keep going through this!". Even a week later, while I am still sad as heck, i have a bit better perspective. We rescued Boston from a high kill shelter when he was about 6-7 months old. He had been returned twice, black wild child dog... he was slated for execution. So, he made it to about 14 years old and was a wonderful dog and I like to think we gave him a healthy wonderful life. He died with his teeth and coat in beautiful shape - he was loved and i guess that is one of the big things any of us can want from life.

I am curious how the phsycic visit went!!?!

@@globetrotter Well, I am glad your mother got a chance to experience so much. I sense this is a trip you will cherish many years after she is gone. Of course, I am the one crazy enough to drag small children through the great site and artwork of Europe so I know what you mean about it "not always being the trip you would have taken"

@@feedyoureye I am so excited to hear about how your motorcycle lessons go! I wish I wasn't so afraid of them because "in theory" it seems like my kind of fun! I have a huge huge front yard (with no horses on it!) that is definately campable! If my boys ever move out, I might even have a spare room!

[Chimera 644]

Leaving for the hospital in just a bit for my total knee replacement on the left side - I haven't really been on the computer much the last few weeks. See you guys on the other side

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@Chimera My thoughts are with you this morning. Wishing you the best outcome! Keep us posted- maybe you'll have time to post during recovery.

[coops 1,790]

Yes Cathy... half term here but just one week. A lil bit jel that you have two...lol.

All ok here in sunny Wales... work is still manic - as per. Lots of things going on most stressful but we are managing ok as a family unit. I am very lucky to have such a great home life.

I've has my activity band, the UP2 for a month now... I started with a baseline step of between 5000-7000. I have increased that to an average of 12000 per day. I have been walking, jogging and just being more aware of my activity level. My result is that I gained 3lbs! Not happy about that but I am still plodding along and now, I have lost 2 of that which means I am still well above my bounce range. I do feel better for moving more and I have started to enjoy the treadmill again - this all reflects when I was first sleeved.

I have to focus on how I feel and not what the scale tells me as I find it really disheartening to see a gain or no loss.

As ever I will keep on keeping on!

My head isn't in the 5:2 mode but I do have low calorie days but not low enough to call it a fast. Perhaps, now I have my movement sorted, I should get back to fasting properly? i did try to log my food but I found it really difficult and time consuming as I make most things from scratch and can't simply beep the bar code into my fitnesspal! I know, I know, I am being lazy and should be more organised... *sighs*.

Anyhoo... I hope you are all doing ok... I know some of us are struggling along ... cwtches to you from across the pond x