gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Well...another way to think about it is that maintenance is about battling the regains etc. I just don't know why he keeps creating new forums. I will see a post and think I will respond later but can't find the dang thing because there are so many with unclear purpose. You know I am getting less and less out of BP. My big problems are medical right now...

[Globetrotter 1,340]

212.4 this morning, even though I ate 500 calories yesterday and NINE grams of carbs.

Spent four hours painting this morning and barely added detail to the eye, neck, and two panels of shell of a sea turtle I have been commissioned to make.

Going to go see Spy this afternoon, feel the need to see a righteous fat babe kick ass.

Afraid to take myself to the ER. I have severe acute numbness of my left foot, leg all the way to my buttock, also stabbing pain in both thighs. They will just want to give me a steroid drip and that does nothing good.

[UK Cathy 977]

Sheryl, glad to hear that your labs were clear. Too bad if it is infection but that is at least relatively easily treatable.

Florida, I presume the numbness is your MS, are you on any medication for this at present. Your art sounds amazing, my husband likes to buy a piece of art when we travel so that it reminds him. The art isn't necessarily relevant to the region but he always remembers where he brought it. I should photo and post his latest buy (we are in Germany), it is being courieried back for us as it would not fit in hand luggage.

I too think that veteran and maintenance are not necessarily the same people. The 'vets' who continue to post seem to have had a different WLS journey to someone who had the surgery, lost Xlbs in Y months and seems to have little or few issues with maintenance so far. Ask them again in 2 or 3 years.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Sheryl, that is really good news that everything was clear.

I am trying to post more in other forums besides just this private one.

I agree, it's getting all screwed up, with all these forums.

Did Alex get rid of all the posts in the veterans forum? Or just move them all to the maintenance forum?

I just read my post op notes. It says not to eat a hight Protein diet because it could inhibit the bone graft to take. I don't know why. That makes no sense to me.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

214.4 this morning. I gained 3 pounds because I ate a half cup of amaranthseed flour and a pint of fresh raspberries.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So, while I was awaiting the diagnosis, my anxiety amped up. So, Friday I got the great news that I am "ok" but my anxiety isn't okay. I believe that becoming anxious caused a trigger - like it kicked up the chemical reaction and i am having a hard time "coming down".

This is so frustrating because i didn't tolerate the daily meds (Lorizipam or whatever it was). I am going to try some natural meds. My healthnut sister told me a specific type of HTP5 to try because what i have tried before didn't help anything. The Gaba product that i have used before gave me a paradoxial reaction (made me insanely, having a heart attack anxiety) so I proceed with caution...

It makes me frustrated that even when life is pretty good, I still have this anxiety problem.

I am not horseback riding or doing some of the things that used to soothe my soul.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I am ready to just say F*** it, pass the Ben & Jerry's - I try and I try and I get no results, no weight loss and also no positive health gains. So why not just eat the damn grilled cheese. Obviously my efforts and concern don't make one damn tiny bit of difference...

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I am ready to just say F*** it, pass the Ben & Jerry's - I try and I try and I get no results, no weight loss and also no positive health gains. So why not just eat the damn grilled cheese. Obviously my efforts and concern don't make one damn tiny bit of difference...

Don't give up girl! That way goes madness! Losing a half pound a week is better than gaining a half pound a week and hating yourself for it. You are still a success... look how much you have lost and kept off!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

10 pounds in three months is not success Kim, it just isn't - especially when I pack on THREE BLOODY POUNDS because I ate a handful of fresh raspberries and 3 TBS worth of amaranth flour!!!! Something must be wrong, it just MUST. Twenty months ago I started losing regain. Six months later I had lost it all and then some (41 lbs). All while under incredible stress, eating low quality food, and taking yes the same meds I am on now. One year after returning to the States I tried to do it again, doing the exact same things I did the previous time and have lost only 9 pounds in the amount of time that I lost 20 in the last go round. This is illogical, as I am eating clean wholesome foods, have nothing like the stress I did, have regular access to healthcare, etc etc. Therefore, there MUST be something else going on.

214.4 this morning, when it should be at most 205.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Well, I know it isn't much consolation, but i can't lose weight fast at all. A year ago in March I came back from Mexico weighing abut 150 and in about 3 weeks dropped down to 140 - not intentionally but because I couldn't eat. I had to force myself to eat again and regain some because even though that isn't a low number, I was covered in bruises and clearly was not well nourished. I was not well and didn't look healthy either.

Fast forward over a year, i am over goal and no matter what I do, I don't seem to be able to lose. The main difference is I am not as active. I also think... something has changed. Or rather, something was abnormal last year.

Anyway, I am motivated to get back down to get weight off that bad hip. If I can lose 5# in a month, that will be really good. I would like to lose 20#.

so it goes.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I'm in the same boat too. I never realized how much the weight training I was doing made a difference. My thighs are huge. It's not my imagination. I can't wear pants that I have worn at 145 many times. Now they are uncomfortable, tight and look terrible. How is it possible to weigh the same weight exactly and have the clothes not fit.

No matter what I do, the scale only goes up, not down. Today they moved my surgery back a week. To me, that's just one more week I have to sit on my a$$ turning to flab. Plus they told me I still have to go to Eugene Monday to be fitted for a special back brace, and see the anesthesiologist. I'm so tired of that 2 hour drive. They make it sound like I'm driving around the block. Can you come in next week? I hate spending the whole day in the car. The worse part is I hate going slow. The speed limit is 55 and it's very hard for me to stay at a reasonable speed when the road is dry and flat . Before I know it, I am going 85. I know, cruise control. It's still hard to sit in that car and crawl along.

Florinda, sometimes they do say to raise your calories up for a few days and then go down again as some sort of shock to your system. I would say if you raised your calories with good food, not junk, it would be worth a try.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I like Denise's suggestion. I actually think one of the reasons 5:2 works so well is that it "mixes things up". I am not suggesting you go to 5:2 but rather to have a few days of more healthy calories. I did that when I was seriously low carbing. Like, I would be uber low carb and then a day of adding some fruit, or higher carb vegetables, maybe a half a slice of wonderful Dave's Killer bread or something like that - that tended to shake things up too.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

What I meant is your total success... from your highest weight. You are still a success, even if you only lost 10 pounds in 3 months lately. Yes... I think something is wrong too... with me as well. I am still doing the 5:2 twice a week, at around 700 cals.... and around 12-1500 the rest of the days... 2-3 days of walking and two days of dancing. I'm up to 188-193.... high bounce used to be 173. I'm 5' 9"...OUCH. I could eat less... but honestly, I wouldn't be able to keep it up... I really don't want to yoyo that way... I want to only make changes I am ready to really keep. I am not doing bad, looks wise or health wise... but taking those 17 or so pounds off would sit just fine with me. I felt slim than... not so much now.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Over the past several days I have come to a startling realization that I am "battling the wrong fight". Actually, it started from something that happened this last weekend. I haven't seen Steven since forever and we talked for awhile on Saturday. He asked me about my life - horses, my social outings with the meetup, my happy hours with Mary etc etc. and when he realized I don't do most of my "stuff" anymore he asked me "what the hell are you doing? what did you replace this with?" My sullen answer was "nothing really" except trying to learn to dance. I suddenly saw things from an outsiders point of view - I have been lame.

In a separate conversation, I was lamenting to my son that i wish i didn't deal with these emotional ups and downs. He told me that I probably enjoy many things in life more than others because I am very tuned into emotions. I do love life and have an enthusiasm for it - unfortunately I pay the price on the flip side. His suggestion was to think of it as a good thing to have so much capacity for "feeling". I had to sort of agree on that point too.

I have been trying to fix things in my life, for example, my horse life has not been going well - due to my physical problems and lack of interest. So, I have been focused on finding another home (at least temporarily) for my younger horse etc. This last weekend I realized I am fixing what isn't broken. What the real issue is that i have some kind of low grade depression going on. That is why I don't enjoy horses anymore, why I am sometimes just feeling purposeless, why i don't do alot of the things I normally do and enjoy.

The thing is I don't look depressed and most of the time dont feel depressed so it is often hard to pin down and none of my friends would say "you seem depressed". The counselor I saw told me that I may be prone to very short cycle depression but it is a problem, nonetheless. It doesn't really matter what it looks like externally, that loss of interest in pleasureable things in life/feeling purposeless is classic depression.

So, a few days ago I started taking a natural remedy for anxiety. I feel better already

Last night, I took HTP5 with melatonin (which I lost the habit of doing) and I slept like a baby, no middle of the night insomnia. I ordered a higher grade HTP5 for ongoing use.

I forced myself to go out to 2 step Tuesday last night. I was dreading it, almost left even as I was parking my car. You know what, I had the best time! I met a guy my age who was my dance partner, he has no horses, but 3 saddles and was very interested in meeting a horsey-girl as he wants to ride again. He lives right near some of my dearest friends. I doubt anything will come of it, but the whole experience made me feel more like myself somehow. Actually, it didn't even have anything to do with him, it was just going out, feeling good, feeling confident and having a good time and being home by 9:30 and no alcohol required.

Monday, I started tackling my eating. I wasn't doing terrible food wise, but lots of room for improvement. Monday morning was an eye opener as I saw 170s on the scale. I have been bouncing around 5-8 over goal (in the 160s) but sheesh... I feel myself heading the wrong way! This week, I am back to eating light, and my appetite is going down to match it. Again, I just feel a bit more normal/myself and it was good to see 169.7 on the scale this morning. I want to be under 150 again (lose around 20#), but i will take just getting back to goal (lose around 11#).

I have made some decisions to force myself back into living a full life including a plan for the horses (I am on restricted activity right now, but i am planning for returning to normal). If I still don't want to do horses after my plan, well, that is another story, but right now I need to get to feeling motivated about life again!

I am not declaring victory yet, but in just a few days I am feeling the difference and without prescriptions. I have nothing against scrips except I can't handle the side effects... I hope this keeps working because these emotional things kick my butt.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Hate to break it to you Kim and Denise, but I have done the "shock the system" thing by bumping up the calories with clean foods while keeping the carbs down - didn't do a damn thing. I'm terrified that there is a chemical reason why this is happening to me.

As much as I know that anguish is anguish, and one should never ever engage in the "my pain is worse than your pain" twisted competition - None of you guys are obese. You may not be thrilled by your numbers or your fitness level, but you are not in fact obese any longer, even you Kim at your slightly higher numbers, since you are so tall. At barely 5'3" and 213.4 (as of this morning), I am obese. It breaks me heart and makes me so sad. And if this is a sign of menopause, then I am utterly crushed and heartbroken, as I still cherish the fantasy that I may have natural-born children..