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I ate 754 calories yesterday, this morning I weighed 220.4 - up a full pound.

...And I have known about the connection between gut bacteria and MS since I was first diagnosed. Upon initial research I decided that I must have what is known as Leaky Gut Syndrome, and have taken steps to health and protect myself. All of my foods are organic, probiotic, etc. etc. etc. etc. I follow a strict AIP diet, etc. etc. etc. etc..........

Update - today's calorie count is 534 cals, let's see how much MORE I weigh in the morning ....

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219.8 This morning. In a week it will have been an entire month with only 3 pounds lost.

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I really don't expect things to work with Bill and me. It's just that I care about him and he got so jealous when I was seeing Owen and stopped his relationship with the woman he was seeing. He kept telling me how much he loves me and how we can work things out. I am with the theory of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insane. I told Bill I would not agree to start seeing him unless he went to couples counseling with me. My ins. is paying 100% right now because I have paid my max out of pocket. We have issues to work out and we have tried working them out alone.

 

My eating has been terrible and I think I look horrible but I seem to lack the willpower to do anything about it.

 

The main thing that test did for me was show me that I wasn't crazy when I thought I gain weight easier than most people. I watch carbs not calories anyway.

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219.6 this morning. Yesterday was 500 cals, all dark green and colorful vegetables.

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I weighed in at home this morning, and saw 193.4(ouch! 20 pounds above bounce range))... went to the docs, who's scale is usually about one pound more than mine (I am wearing clothing there of course... none at home) and weighed 189.3.  Go figure scales. I also got a new doc... and soooo cute! I was worried, my LDL has been going higher and higher....  My HDL is quite high now too, which is good... my Glucose is low, my triglycerides are low which is good. I was worried they might put me on pills for the cholesterol... but he told me my ratio is 3:9, and I can get all the way to 7:5 before they will put me on pills. So happy about that. Everything else looks good. He said he will give me a shot in the knee next month if I want one, and to just keep dancing and walking... not sure if it gets any worse that I will be able too, but will give it a try. I walked two miles today, and was OK. Put ice on it after. He also prescribed some very small dose meds (Citalopram/Celexa) for anxiety.... I asked if they can make me gain weight, and he said I actually might lose weight on it. Fingers crossed on that one! I know I have been eating as self medication for anxiety and grief the last year...

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I will be really curious how you do on the Celexa Kim. I've tried all kinds of meds for depression and anxiety and the side effects are just too much for me to deal with.

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I only tried Lexapro for anxiety and eventually couldn't take the side effects either. However being on it for a few months really helped "reset" things. I am not claiming a cure, but it is much much less severe and I haven't been on the meds in quite awhile.

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217.4 this morning but I can't even get excited about it; three weeks ago the same thing happened, where it seemed like I was finally making good downward progress, only for the scale to change it's mind and decide that was an hallucination.

The head med I am on is venlafaxine (Effexor) I started on what the Dr referred to as a "baby dose", and when that didn't feel like it was doing anything for me, I increased to a low regular dose. Now it feels like it isn't doing anything for me anymore and I'm thinking of taking more, turning my dosing into a medium/high level. Also, if I miss a portion of my dosing, I immediately feel the effects. One day when I wasn't able to take the pills at all (refill on a Sunday) it was like the lights went out, dramatic difference in mood and thoughts. I was previously on sertraline (Zoloft) and saw no particularly good effects from that. Before that I was on Buspar which turned me into a completely emotionless creature. And before you start wondering, I was on head meds when I lost a good amount of weight last year so, being on meds is not what is making me not lose weight.

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I have avoided mood meds in the past, reading the side effects is a turn off for sure... baby dose... but I really don't want to make it a long term thing or go to seriously higher dose... Some love it, if thats not me I have permission to go off without staging it... we will see!

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I have not tried Celexa or Lexapro, I don't think I like the Effexor, it makes me super hyper and dry mouthed and it doesn't stay in my system long enough.

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Look who came to visit! It was such a joy to meet Sarah and her beautiful family!

post-122684-14352001033684_thumb.jpg

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Look who came to visit! It was such a joy to meet Sarah and her beautiful family!

How fun! You guys look great! Wish I was there too.

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I am loving that pic Sheryl and Sarah - hope  you had lots of fun!

 

Florinda, I am hearing and feeling your frustration... try to keep strong my lovely... and although it is difficult don't that stupid scale dictate to you... it is only a machine!

 

Kim, sounds like overall good news from the doc... you're doing something right eh?

 

Sorry if I have missed anyone... been reading but not posting lately.

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I'm doing okish... I pulled out of the promotion in work - felt good to make that decision.  I decided I want to concentrate on the role I have and develop it than give it to someone else, which would of happened if I have been successful.

 

On the diet front, I ain't doing too good... I haven't managed to stick with the 5:2 for a while ... my head isn't in the game at the moment... I know I have to turn it around to get to where I want to be... I haven't picked up the training either.  I just seem to be very complacent at the moment.  The scale is bouncing around for me at the moment, but I am not going to panic - yet!

 

I am off work at the moment... I had a tattoo done on my foot (a cover up) and it became infected... I hobbled around for a week, not realising how bad it was getting...so, I am now laid up and having to raise my leg - on strong anti biotics and pain killers... nightmare.  I just hope that my tattoo isn't ruined as it has great meaning to me. 

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