gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[UK Cathy 977]

Denise thinking of you, glad you are now getting the help you need.

Sarah, we have just been through the whole process with MIL and alzeimers so if you want to talk I am available. I think my mum is starting with it now.

Denise needs all our positive thoughts now so let's all rally ladies. We may be geographically far away but in mind and spirit we are close.XX

[sarsar 824]

I wanted to catch up bc I love reading about everyone's lives and I don't like that Ive missed so much. I'm caught up now.

Denis, oh my, this has been just horrible for you. I am so sorry. I hope you are finally on the road to recovery. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.

Sheryl, as always, I love reading about all of your adventures. You and Kim seem to live such fun lives. I am such a boring person. Lol keep us updated on the dance lessons.

Thanks, Cathy, this has been really rough. The hardest part of it is dealing with my FIL who refuses to realize she is not getting better. He still thinks she is ok and should be doing the same things she has always done. She's in the end stages. She can walk at times but is unsteady. She can still feed herself if she is awake and someone gives her food. She messes her diapers and can't bath or clean herself up anymore so she is constantly getting UTI's. She is now having seizures, too. My FIL yells at her and she just cries bc she doesn't understand anything anymore. She doesn't even remember who ppl Are a lot of times.

One BIL also doesn't think she is as bad as she is. So he feeds his dad with telling him she is going to get better. It's all just terrible. She is 87 years old and still living at home. The state has had to get involved bc she is not getting the care she needs. Doctors keep telling my FIL and BIL how serious things are but they will not listen.

My SIL is almost 50 and living in the house with the inlaws and she is mentally unstable herself so it's not good. Last week my SIL was trying to change my MIL diaper when she had a seiZure and fell into my SIL arms. She thought her mom was dying in her arms. Along with the fact that the house is seriously like an episode of hoarders. I'm not exaggerating. We have brought my SIL here for a while so she can get a break and I'm trying to work with her to get into a dr and get on some meds. It's exhausting dealing with her bc she is paranoid and depressed and has severe anxiety and her mind cannot think clearly.

My grandma has also been recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She is in beginning stages so it's not as bad. Plus my mom and our whole family are working well together to all help out. She will be moving into assisted living in the next couple weeks. My mom wanted her to move in with her but my grandma has a boyfriend and will only move with him. He needs more care than my grandma and my mom can't take them both. So for now they will move into an assisted living place that is right up the street from my mom. I think it's so sweet that at 89 my grandma has a boyfriend!!

My accident and concussion have taken a toll on me. It has been a long recovery. My concussion has caused short term memory loss that I am praying will come back. It's getting a bit better so I'm hoping I will have a full recovery.

Not working out as I usually do has been driving me insane!!! Last week I was just cleared to start 15 min workouts every other day. I'm used to working out 5-6 days a week!!! I love working out. It's also my stress reliever. I'll get better I know but it's been rough.

I just started physical therapy also. Apparently the impact of the accident also shifted my hips which has been painful. Also frustrating bc after I lost weight my hips were a mess and I had to learn how to use them the correct way again. I was where I needed to be with all of that and now it's like I'm back to where I was, thankfully not weight wise. Part of the problem was that my accident was only 5 months after plastics so my body wasn't wasn't even completely healed from that yet. I know it could've been much worse so I try to keep that in mind.

The good news is that I haven't gained any weight. I've been between 137-140 and I'm ok with that. I haven't been doing 5:2 bc I need all the nutrition to keep my body healing.

I've lost a lot of muscle tone but it'll come back quickly when I'm back to working out on a regular basis. I like to have a lot of muscle. I just like that look for myself.

So that's been my life lately!

I'm glad to finally catch up with all of you. Cathy I need to post pics. The last ones I had done were a few weeks ago with my plastic surgeon. He takes the pics and then shows them to me right away while I'm there. He puts it up next to my Preop pic and it's so cool to see the difference I'm going to email him and have him send me the pics so I can post. I am so happy with my stomach especially!

Going a shout out to everyone else that I didn't mention!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Sarah, I am so sad for you that the accident has been so hard to recover from. Life sure is throwing challenges at us.

 

I'm home from the hospital but it's going to be a long road back. I have to give myself antibiotic infusions every 8 hours and it takes 30 min to run the bag of anitbiotics. So tonight at 12:30 I have to attach it and sit and wait until 1am for it to finish. I have to do this for 6 weeks.

 

Sheryl I am so happy you're having fun dancing. I would love to get healed and come up some day and go out with you. I know, dream on. I can barely make it to Portland.

 

I am glad you checked in too Cathy. I hope your mom does not get diagnosed with Alzheimers too. That's just too much.

 

I wish Wanda would check in. I hope everyone is doing well.

 

Florinda, are you still seeing someone? How have you been feeling. You haven't mentioned your MS in a long time.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I have a lot of fear over losing my cognitive abilities and, ironically, stress will make even a healthy brain begin to have short term memory issues, word loss, etc. And the loss gives you stress and down the road it goes.

I am now set up with the MS clinic here in Seattle, I've had my initial appt, and they want to put me on injectable drug therapy, rather than the newer pills. This stresses me out. I cannot handle constant injections, my skin and flesh are very delicate like an old person's and I bruise and swell awfully.

I am seeing someone but it doesn't have long term potential. Being in his arms just feels so damn good though, and I'm in that phase where all I want to do is breathe in his exhalations and vice versa.

I hate looking at my fatty fat squashy bulgy body in the mirror. Oddly enough I feel the loathing when I have clothes on, I actually look better naked than in clothes lol.

Protein-heavy salad today with lots of herbal tea, probably pad thai without the noodles for dinner.< /p>

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Okay, my NSV for the weekend. The owner of the dance club, who started giving me lessons (once he started talking to me, everyone else did too - translating to English etc - really fun) said "you have the perfect body... and hair for salsa" I know a pick up line when I heard one - but it was really great coming from a handsome latin guy who could dance like no one's business!

It was so fun to dance in a club with Cuban people - they were all doing true salsa not just flinging around on the dance floor like you see at many dance floors. I can't wait to go back! (but maybe I should take a few "real" lessons...haha)

Denise - are you getting out of the hospital today? continuing to heal? This is such an ordeal - what are you about 3 months since your back surgery? I believe it will all be fine and you will return to normal but what an unplanned side trip! Keep your chin up!

Wow! What a boost! I don't care how "mature" I get, I still like getting a little flirting coming my way. Its like some of the lights go on in the house that have been off for too long!

Denise thinking of you, glad you are now getting the help you need.

Sarah, we have just been through the whole process with MIL and alzeimers so if you want to talk I am available. I think my mum is starting with it now.

Denise needs all our positive thoughts now so let's all rally ladies. We may be geographically far away but in mind and spirit we are close.XX

So sorry to hear about your mum. All the best to you and her. Dementia is a bitch! My memory has never been that great, even with dememtia, my mom had better long term memory than I! Not a good sign!

I wanted to catch up bc I love reading about everyone's lives and I don't like that Ive missed so much. I'm caught up now.

Denis, oh my, this has been just horrible for you. I am so sorry. I hope you are finally on the road to recovery. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.

Sheryl, as always, I love reading about all of your adventures. You and Kim seem to live such fun lives. I am such a boring person. Lol keep us updated on the dance lessons.

Thanks, Cathy, this has been really rough. The hardest part of it is dealing with my FIL who refuses to realize she is not getting better. He still thinks she is ok and should be doing the same things she has always done. She's in the end stages. She can walk at times but is unsteady. She can still feed herself if she is awake and someone gives her food. She messes her diapers and can't bath or clean herself up anymore so she is constantly getting UTI's. She is now having seizures, too. My FIL yells at her and she just cries bc she doesn't understand anything anymore. She doesn't even remember who ppl Are a lot of times.

One BIL also doesn't think she is as bad as she is. So he feeds his dad with telling him she is going to get better. It's all just terrible. She is 87 years old and still living at home. The state has had to get involved bc she is not getting the care she needs. Doctors keep telling my FIL and BIL how serious things are but they will not listen.

My SIL is almost 50 and living in the house with the inlaws and she is mentally unstable herself so it's not good. Last week my SIL was trying to change my MIL diaper when she had a seiZure and fell into my SIL arms. She thought her mom was dying in her arms. Along with the fact that the house is seriously like an episode of hoarders. I'm not exaggerating. We have brought my SIL here for a while so she can get a break and I'm trying to work with her to get into a dr and get on some meds. It's exhausting dealing with her bc she is paranoid and depressed and has severe anxiety and her mind cannot think clearly.

My grandma has also been recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She is in beginning stages so it's not as bad. Plus my mom and our whole family are working well together to all help out. She will be moving into assisted living in the next couple weeks. My mom wanted her to move in with her but my grandma has a boyfriend and will only move with him. He needs more care than my grandma and my mom can't take them both. So for now they will move into an assisted living place that is right up the street from my mom. I think it's so sweet that at 89 my grandma has a boyfriend!!

My accident and concussion have taken a toll on me. It has been a long recovery. My concussion has caused short term memory loss that I am praying will come back. It's getting a bit better so I'm hoping I will have a full recovery.

Not working out as I usually do has been driving me insane!!! Last week I was just cleared to start 15 min workouts every other day. I'm used to working out 5-6 days a week!!! I love working out. It's also my stress reliever. I'll get better I know but it's been rough.

I just started physical therapy also. Apparently the impact of the accident also shifted my hips which has been painful. Also frustrating bc after I lost weight my hips were a mess and I had to learn how to use them the correct way again. I was where I needed to be with all of that and now it's like I'm back to where I was, thankfully not weight wise. Part of the problem was that my accident was only 5 months after plastics so my body wasn't wasn't even completely healed from that yet. I know it could've been much worse so I try to keep that in mind.

The good news is that I haven't gained any weight. I've been between 137-140 and I'm ok with that. I haven't been doing 5:2 bc I need all the nutrition to keep my body healing.

I've lost a lot of muscle tone but it'll come back quickly when I'm back to working out on a regular basis. I like to have a lot of muscle. I just like that look for myself.

So that's been my life lately!

I'm glad to finally catch up with all of you. Cathy I need to post pics. The last ones I had done were a few weeks ago with my plastic surgeon. He takes the pics and then shows them to me right away while I'm there. He puts it up next to my Preop pic and it's so cool to see the difference I'm going to email him and have him send me the pics so I can post. I am so happy with my stomach especially!

Going a shout out to everyone else that I didn't mention!

Sarah, so glad you are caught up and have shared this part of you life with us. What a drama life can be! The story about the FIL and BIL really is sad... denile is not going to get the job done... best of luck with family services... even Adult Protective Services might need a call if she is in the wrong place at this time in her life. Is she the hoarder or is he? I have a drop of it myself, and my next door neighbor has gone over the edge years ago... Her whole house, 800sf studio and yard are packed with sh*t. How overwhelming! I hope you can find the help you need to get through this... you need to take care of yourself first. Im glad your side of the family are working together. You will get through this, and don't forget, we are here for you emotionaly, even if for just a little chat and sharing when you have the time.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

As toxic as their disbelief is, I have compassion for the FiL and BiL, they simply cannot handle the truth of her deterioration, she anchors their world and they are not equipped to face the loss. That's a lot of anguish and I hope all of you have access to support, respite and mental health. hugs from the PNW.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Sarah, when it rains it pours. You have my deepest empathy. Head injury..one of my worst nightmares! I always wear a helmet riding or skiing but of course anything can happen.

The story about dementia and how your family is dealing with itis heartbreaking. My mom got vascular dementia,last 2-3 years of her life she was a childlike, empty headed but sweet stranger. It was just mind boggling and I was probably in denial myself. She was terrified of going to a care facility (she was always coherent on THAT subject) so we muddled through caring for her. Few years later...we muddled through caring for my lil sis until she died of cancer. I gave up nearly a decade of caring for and grieving the two of them so you and your family have my prayers and well wishes.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

If you live long enough, you are bound to see a loved one pass away... I still think about my mom every day, and talk to here now and then. I lost the person I thought of as Mom first to a sudden blader infection that went to her brain... she did recover from that... then had a series of mini-strokes, and then the slow onset of dementia.... ending with a larger stroke... I do believe she was still there at the end, to some degree... you know how they say that people become clear right before they pass away? My mom couldn't talk, but came around and held my hands, and looked deeply into my eyes and really made a connection with me the day before she passed. It was really lovely to have that. I talked to her a lot, and the whole family did as well, and lavished love and compliments and the promise that we would all be ok and she could leave and not feel sad or afraid. I told her a story about how all the love she gave us throughout our lives would come back to her and fill her with light, and she would be able to feel and give that love again. My mom was religious, and my dad not at all... but he kept telling her that she was going to be an angel and she need to keep an eye on him because she was his angel. It was really sweet and rich, and of course so sad... but saying goodby was sweet none the less.

I hope Im not bumming you guys out by talking about this... its just we do understand... it is a big and difficult part of life caring for and watching our loved ones suffer, change, fade away from who they were.. but also so important to engage in as well as we can. Caring and generosity are only really gained from practice.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Kim, it in no way bums me out for you to talk about your mama. What actually bugs me are people who want to pretend the dead were never here. If you lose someone you really love, you still carry some of them in your heart forever.

I went to a fun low key mardis gras soiree on Tuesday. I was getting sick but still in denial. Didn't cough on anyone so probably ok. Yesterday hit me hard but I went to bed about 2 in the afternoon and am a little better. It's just a cold/cough/ sore throat. I am hoping to be mended by weekend as I have fun plans!

My trip to costa rica is booked and ready for April. So excited!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Hi all,

 Kim it doesn't bother me at all either. It helps me remember how much I love my parents. I still have too much guilt moving 2,000 miles away from them at age 20  because I hated Chicago. I would be upset beyond words if my grandkids lived that far away.

 

tomorrow I go to the infusion center at the hospital to have my dressing changed over my pic and have labs drawn. It will be nice to know that I am actually getting better.

 

Sheryl, I am happy for you that you're going to Costa Rica. If I am not being too nosy, are you going with a female friend?

 

I was down to 140 this morning. I so wish I could go to the gym. I hate that I am losing muscle.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I was signing up alone when a girlfriend decided she wanted to go. We are traveling as solo travelers tho, not sharing a room.

In the theme of when it rains it pours, another friend wants to travel to Europe this fall. I haven't been in 1 years so I am game. Trying to guide the trip to places I haven't been but we shall see. We get together next week to plan. Complex as she is not an American but working toward ut so she has to check out visa requirements.

Edited February 20, 2015 by CowgirlJane

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Man, I am having trouble shaking this cold. I started feeling a little off beginning of week, but quite sick by Wednesday. Wed, Thurs I went to bed uber early - basically worked half days... rest, fluids, low stress. In my past experience, by now I should be feeling better and just shaking off a stuffy head. Well, I am coughing alot, bad headache and the chills have returned... darn it! I don't really want to spend the weekend in bed alone with my netflix and pupster.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Ok.. it's officially the flu per my doctor. I never get fevers as I run cold but I am having to take drugs to stay under 101. Do not feel good..

[Georgia 2,908]

Sheryl, my hubs was "down for the count" for over a week with flu. Fever 103 so take care! I, now, have the nasty in the bed kind of cold too! Miserable.

Denise, glad to hear you finally got someone to do something. I think you mentioned surgery. What exactly did they do?

Sarah, bless your heart. Sounds like you and your family have a LOT on your plates right now. We went through Altzheimers with my husband's Mom. One funny story we just have to stop and laugh at even now since most of the time there are not many laughs. He was over sitting with Her one afternoon and she kept taking her gown and fanning it up and down over her head. Not course, she was "bare" beneath it. Clyde said when he came home, "I've seen things I never ever wanted to see on my Mother!" We laughed until tears ran down our faces. Both his Mom and Him were/Are very private individuals. ????. But her "boy" was there with her anyway!

We have had miserable very cold, icy weather all week and I'm seriously now ready for Spring!!!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Note to self: next year, get a flu shot.

I awoke optimistic..no tylonol for 6-7 hours and normal temperature. I was hopeful fever had broken. Now I feel horrible again which is sign fever is returned. It hurts to blink.

I am tired of being in bed. I have a charlie horse/sore muscle in back that is killing me.

I am fine but these are times when I wish I had someone to comfort me. Youngest is away for weekend oldest is germphobic. Reality is most men are terrible caregivers but my ex was at his best in situations like this. I miss having someone who acts like they care if I live.lol.