gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[coops 1,790]

Oh - and another thing... my hot flashes are back with vengence and they are completely draining me of all my energy and motivation to even sit up straight! Could this be the cause of the pesky scale being rude?

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I did a fast today too... I see the scale going up too, have to get back in the swing. I hear ya Coops. Lets take it one day at a time. I am going to plan to fast two days a week for a while and see how it goes. I have to keep track a little closer on the rest of the days a week too.. I have been playing fast and loose with the food lately. I really don't want it to go up any more of the cloths will get tight. I am imagining feeling slim again, and getting into my clothing when it not quite so snug. I went out and bought cooking supplies, lots of veggies and veg Protein sources. We can do it Coops! Even if its slow, we CAN do it! I walked about 3 miles today, took my Vitamins and even though I was over by around 75 cals, that is a success for me.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am over eating. It's the bread and emotional distress. I think I need to ask the kid to hide the bread for a few weeks while I get under control. Coops, my SIL had terrible hotflashes and had to resort to hormone replacement. She really didn't have a choice as it was so awful.

 

Wondering how everyone is doing.

 

I can't tolerate the lexapro anymore. Even the tiny dosage gives me flu like symptoms, a stomach ache and knocks me out eventually. I don't even care about the sexual response side effects. I have tried taking it different times a day etc and it is hurting my life to feel sick for hours. So, I have been missing doses. I posted yesterday about being so frustrated with dating over something that happened with Theo (women's room) but I think it is more my emotional state. Last night I dreamt that Steven called to tell me he was in love with someone else and I woke up devastated. I don't even see Steven anymore, the dream was a ball of irrational emotions. In reality if that happened I would be a. Skeptical and b. Happy for him as he is mister "i dont need anyone". EX emailed me that he suspects his cancer is back and going for more tests. I am hugely upset by that news but wonder why he shared it...more transparency than when we were together. I actually think that email, it was full of other stuff to, is what set me off combined with being off my meds.

 

Anyway this is all recent..like last few days so I am not in a depression but rather not feeling great. Fall weather has arrived, I suppose many factors. Key thing is I need to turn it around right now.

 

Good news I have been getting stuff done around my place.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Ok, further evidence that my tiny dose of lexapro works. i had missed lots of doses due to the flulike side effects... and as each day went by I felt myself sorta slipping... last night I took my half a pill dose and in spite of the weird dreams, and feeling physically ill -  I actually feel normal today.  I am pissed that i gained 2 more pounds..haha... but other than that feel good.

 

I am gonna take 1/4 dose tonight and see if that helps. My doc has me experimenting like this. One thing I really appreciate about her is that she BELIEVES me that I am just so sensitive to these drugs - this applies to herbal remedies too. I have often gotten strong side effects or even OPPOSITE effects of what is expected.  It  makes me scared to try medications so I appreciate someone who believes me... and is a little worried to have me try other drugs because other than the sexual side effects I am told that small doses of Lexapro are normally tolerated very well compared to other drugs.  I have personal experience of going nuts about 10 years ago when  a doc put me on Prosak (after my mum died I got depressed).

 

anyway, today is good, but I am so hungry.  I am having a hard time doing the things that in the past helped me contain my appetite and i am not even sure why.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I have been feeing a little flat and weepy.  Plugging myself into the successful eating routine again to try and get the couple of pounds off. It seems like I am surrounded by upsetting events, having to do with my house, my neighborhood, my family, my art activities and success, my work and my coworkers. Just about every side. I am trying to do what I can and recognize I have no control over the rest of it. My MIL is coming over in a month... last time she was here I gained around 15 pounds (!!!) I really have to avoid that this time... she is a great gal, glad she is coming, but it is happy hour 24/7 around here when she visits. Not my reg. routine.

[sarsar 824]

Hi everyone. The new app was updated on my phone and I couldn't get logged on. Alex helped with that and all is well now.

Kim, hugs to you. I'm sorry you are hurting. I'm sure you MIL being there will help take your mind off of all of the negative things going on in your life right now. How is your dad doing? I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose a spouse when you are older and that's all you have known. I hope he is doing ok.

Sheryl, what happened with Theo? I believe you about your meds. My body is so sensitive to meds. Something as simple as Benadryl can knock me out for over a day. Is being sick to your stomach a side effect listed for the med your taking? I hope your ex will be ok and it's not cancer. Maybe he contacted you bc he didn't have anyone else to talk to and he was lonely and scared?

Denise, hope you are doing ok. What happened with the house?

Georgia, can I please come to Disney with you? It's my favorite place. I'm a huge Disney fan! I love going to Magic Kingdom and walking down Main Street! Have a Dole Whip for me while you're there.

[sarsar 824]

I hit reply too soon...I'm doing ok. I'm 9 weeks out from plastics and finally starting to feel normal. I'm working out again and building back up to where I was pre plastics. Not there yet but I'm taking things slow. I finally did some jogging and jumping and it didn't feel like my bottom half was going to fall off! That made me happy.

Plastics is really an incredible emotional journey. So many ups and downs. I'm going to post some pics soon. I need to have my hubs take some 2 month pics for me but I've been swollen in the evening when he is around to take them for me. I want some non swollen pics. The swelling isn't terrible it seems to be more at night after I've been up and moving all day. By morning it's back down again.

I absolutely love my flat stomach. It's amazing how flat and tight it is. I'm also very happy with my outer thighs. I'm not as thrilled with the results so far from my butt. It's still saggy and I wish it was lifted more. When I post pics you all can tell me what you think. I'm trying to deal with this bc it's really bothering me. I feel like I should be happy and not complain. I also know that I'm early out yet and things will still take shape and change some. Like I said, it's very emotional. I will eventually have my inner thighs done so that they match the rest of my legs.

I haven't been doing 5:2 since surgery but I think I'm going to start up again next week. I like using it for maintaining and I like the way it makes me feel. I feel more in control when doing 5:2. I think I'm far enough out from surgery now to start again. I've been having too many Snacks this week and I need to get that under control! I haven't gained any weight, I've actually lost a little. I'm now at 138. I would like to stay between 135-138. I also have gone down in my pants size. I'm wearing A 4 now in most pants although I did buy a couple pairs of size 2 jeans/capris. With plastics he removed 5 pounds of skin and the Lipo removed almost 2 liters of fat from my hips and legs and thighs. I was surprised I had that much fat to be removed! I'm so glad it's gone though. All the working out I did and that stubborn fat still stuck around. I can't remember if I posted a pic of the skin that was removed so I'll post it. If your squeamish scroll past and don't look at it.

Edited September 6, 2014 by sarsar

[coops 1,790]

Sarah, I'm so pleased you are feeling nearly back to normal and that you are pleased with your results... you are right... you haven't finished yet, thing will continue to improve. And good for you getting back to exercise, take your time and listen to you body.

The more I read about the weight of the skin removed the more I think my surgeon was a bit conservative which is why I stil have this 'lip' - as I look down on it, it looks like a mini apron; same shape as before only much smaller. I have decided that I defo want a revision but this time with Lipo, so I need to start some serious saving! Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled with my results and it has given me a new look on my physical self, but now I am looking at it in a more cosmetic way.

Can't wait to see your pics!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am thrilled for you sarah! I had 5 .5# skin and no Lipo. Dr Sauceda said I didn't have enough fat to lipo. Actually I heard same in my usa consults. I have seen photos of Sarah and way smaller and leaner than I so it does make me wonder!

 

Kim, you are blessed with a MIL who makes it happy hour all the time! I am sorry for your grief but it is so normal. Losing my mom was devastating. Don't expect too much of your self.

 

I had a tough week and Friday was a bad day...but I ended it going dancing to live music for just 2 hours and it really put my put of sorts mood back into sorts! Here is the funny, I missed the second 1980s theme dance and several people asked after me. I am not sure what to think...The 80s called and I missed it? Actually I think i sort of look like the 1980s dropped me here all the time...I don't think that's necessarily a compliment! I think my hair just screams the 80s (naturally curly rock and roll hair) so it doesn't matter what I wear.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am irrationally annoyed with theo right now. Actually I am annoyed with the entire dating experience this week. I posted the story in the ladies room but basically everything felt pretty comfortable, low drama and nice balance... seeing him approximately weekly and having a great time. In a single phone call he managed to make me feel undesirable and unwanted. I know that wasn't his intent but I am cranky about it and not sure what to do.

[sarsar 824]

I am irrationally annoyed with theo right now. Actually I am annoyed with the entire dating experience this week. I posted the story in the ladies room but basically everything felt pretty comfortable, low drama and nice balance... seeing him approximately weekly and having a great time. In a single phone call he managed to make me feel undesirable and unwanted. I know that wasn't his intent but I am cranky about it and not sure what to do.

What did you decide to do? Did you go to the party with him? Let us know what happened.

I read the post in the powder room. Sounds to me like you need to talk to him more. This doesn't seem like something you should keep inside if it's bothering you that much.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Sar, I bet your looking fantastic~ The skin bikini is so strange, I can't picture where it came from... Sheryl, thanks for saying how I feel s normal. That actually makes me feel a lot better.  

Edited September 7, 2014 by feedyoureye

[sarsar 824]

Sar, I bet your looking fantastic~ The skin bikini is so strange, I can't picture where it came from... Sheryl, thanks for saying how I feel s normal. That actually makes me feel a lot better.

I think it looks like a bikini, too. I had to have my doctor explain it to me bc I couldn't picture it either. The top portion is from the front of me, my stomach and sides. In the picture the skin is upside down from how he actually cut it off. The bottom skin is from my butt.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Barn party was off the hook fun. Me and several others stayed the night (if we didn't have a designated driver). It was so redneck awesome!

 

I went alone because I was just too annoyed to even want to see theo. Before i headed out I finally called him back and laid it all out for him. I admit he continues to impress me as a person, the way he managed that conversation. Anyway what had pissed me off the most out of all of it was the implication that I would become possessive and stalkerish. He also worried about distance..He is an hour away. I told him I appreciate him pointing out the practical issues around long distance stalking, next time I will look for someone who is more conveniently located for cooking the rabbit in their kitchen (Glenn Close movie). He laughed and admitted he had been a real jerk on that point since I did not deserve even the implication. Anyway. ..I wasn't bitchy but I let him have it. He still wants to see me and said he likes that I say exactly what's going on

 

I think the ship has sailed for me though. I want to be desired as a woman and he ain't bringing it and perhaps is too old to have that drive? I think i will always doubt his interest in nr.

 

My friend beth said she was getting ready to go cougar before she met her current awesome boyfriend. ..suggested I consider that. This is not actually about sex this is about being wanted in a man - woman way, passion and all that.

 

Anyway I am fine. Lovely weekend... I have home projects today and then if I can muster the energy going to a B day party of an acquaintance - lady I met in meetup group.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Kim I think grief and lonely lost feeling IS so normal - you lost your mama! If it goes on for months without getting some what better . .. then maybe it's a concern but I think accepting sadness is healthy. Let your heart and soul process the loss.