gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Write a list of allllll the things that upset you within the relationship, from major to most itty bitty minor, then go down the list using reason and generosity to strike off everything you can. What you are left with are the things that are non-negotiable, then have a quiet conversation with yourself, as to WHY these things are non-negotiables, are they really him, or are they triggers for you, from your past? After that, you will be left with the truly important intractable differences, and you can bring THOSE up with him and see if he is willing to address them.

Or, if you just aren't that into him, well, that's that.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I am struggling with maintenance right now. I am about 1 1/2 pound over my high goal range, so not that far off, but i just want to eat, I want to eat what I want, and I want all the wrong things. Craig and I are fighting, and he can be a horrible bully when he's upset about whatever. I took two days off from work to get some things done for my moms memorial, I went to the cemetery to take some pics of relatives headstones, and then out to my dads to go through another of her jewelry cases... which is a real treasure hunt, then lunch with dad and my nephew who is helping out as well. I wish Craig could be more understanding and generous at this time, but a scorpion is a scorpion. He can't help but be himself. I have managed to do a fasting day once a week the last couple of weeks, not great fasting days, but semi-good. They have really helped take the edge off the uncontrolled eating. I just don't want to say no to the foods that need real discipline to include in my diet without harm. I have been struggling to just write it all down.. whatever... that has helped in the past, and kept me in check... I don't really even feel like doing that... but keep getting back on the wagon. 

[UK Cathy 977]

Kim, good for you for keeping it under control, if I was in your situation Im sure I would be more than 1 1/2lb above my buffer limit. I'm impressed that you are still having a fast day.

Are you finding peace by going through your mums things or is it stirring up other emotions?

My weight is on the up at the moment and I keep on telling myself I'm going to get it under control and I need to.

Off to London to see the show War Horse and the Poppies in the moat of Tower of London.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Kim, It's really understandable that you would want to eat whatever you want at this time. When I am feeling stressed,  all I want to do is eat candy and other junk. I have to keep telling myself it's not going to help, and it will make me feel worse.

I hope Craig will realize that he needs to be more understanding during this time.

 

I know that no matter what good qualities Bill has which were the things I love about him, it's not going to work. We are from two completely different worlds.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Oregondaisy

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Kim I think you are doing great ((hugs)))

I am on a carb cycle..dang it. I weighed 143 this morning which is fine, but I feel about 243. Does excess carbs make a person bloated? I feel fat..Haha. I keep thinking one morning that scale is really gonna bounce up if I don't get a handle on all this bread I am eating...and loving by the way.

I felt sick yesterday so went to bed early. Hoping today is a better feeling day.

I am"supposed" to be casually dating several guys right now according to my counselor and coach...but I have lost all interest in that. I think she is right though....I am repeating an old pattern of limiting myself to someone before I really know him. I am into Theo but am cautiously proceeding...and I sense he is the same. Like we'd both like to be in passionate throes everyday but instead we see each other more like weekly and arrange dates such that the passion is limited to some lovely kissing makeout sessions only. I love that our dates are active and fun and involve "doing" something. I like that,it is a good way to proceed but I need to make an effort I guess to do some other dates even though I am not drawn to it. A guy I met at a dance is interested plus the good old online prospects I haven't met yet!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Last night I was supposed to go to yoga, signed up online even, then didn't go. I got back to my hotel room, tore off my clothes, and fell into bed, at 6pm. I proceeded to binge on Downton Abbey season 3 and a peanut bar. then a sandwich. then a peach. Walking was deeply upsetting yesterday, I wove and bobbed like a drunk, only I wasn't drunk.

I have cut my dose of Sertraline in half, it has been about 2 weeks now, not sure what effects I may be feeling, the above scenario has happened before, prior to the reduction.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I just heard from my Mom, the state of CA wants over $10K for the tax years 2010/2011, even though I paid those taxes and have already been audited for those years.

I can't fu**king take it anymore, I just can't. You win, Earth, you win, America. Since May of 2012 it has been non-stop and I just can't do it anymore.

May 2012 lost my job

August 2012 broke up with bf

unemployed until December 2012

Dec 2012 Mother lost her job

Father died 9 Jan 2013

Mar 2013 lost the house

April 2013 deployed to Afghanistan

April 2013 audited by IRS, told to repay $25K

July 2013 diagnosed with MS

Aug 2013 complex attack by insurgents, traumatized, and concussion

Dec 2013 Team Leader and surrogate Father died

Jan 2014 soldier I thought was good friend turns on me

Feb team dissolved

April 2014 medevacd

July 2014 given 36 hours notice to appear in KS or be considered AWOL

Aug 2014 break up with man who once claimed to love me.

Aug 2014 even more money that can't be spared, demanded by CA state.

August 16th, my birthday.

Edited August 15, 2014 by Globetrotter

[UK Cathy 977]

Happy Birthday Florinda, hope you get to spend it with people you like and who care for you. XX

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Ah Florinda, Life has been a bitch to you this last year! Was it the Feds that audited you? Or Cali? I would think if it was Cali, then you throw the finished audits in their face. (nicely of course). I had my moms memorial today. It was really good, but I have to say when I came home, I pretty much passed out. Stress is not good for your body. Its time you had a break. Sounds like your business is not quite done for now, deep breath... keep putting stress relief activities in your day... and don't dwell on the past, but do learn from it if you can. 

 

Happy Birthday. Do you have any plans to have some fun or some relax time? My hubby suggested I go get a massage soon, and I think I will just have to do that. 

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I post on another sleeve forum where I have really pissed off someone. She is one of those that her starting weight is the same as many people's goal weight. She referred to weighing in the 180s as "gross" and couldn't understand why people s goal weights are so high and I called her on it publicly so she sent me a very nasty PM over it. So I found it a bit funny but also realized she is full of assumptions that are incorrect. My first inclination was to just delete it my second was to actually explain to her how terribly beat down super morbidly obese people are and reading her judgemental tone .. Well set me off. Actually I realize that I sort of have an issue with people who get sleeved to lose relatively small amount of weight. It doesn't seem like the right use of the surgery. There is another post of someone who has lost 30of the 40# she needs to lose. Since she didn't follow doc instructions she has no idea how to lose the last 10. Since it's none of my business who gets surgery I don't comment on that angle but admit I am biased and more likely to be annoyed at that. The image in my head is some skinny woman walking into Lane Bryant and saying in a disgusted voice "I can't believe how HUGE these clothes are! These people are just gross."

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Spent yesterday with Betty. She no longer awakens. When she stirs it means pain and morphine is given. It won't be long now. I cried my eyes out lster, she is just 50. I found a photo of a birthday cake the year we turned 40 together. Cake had our names on it together.

My kiddo and I went to a blues music festival where we met some of my friends and acquaintances. My friends boyfriend taught me some basic couples dance steps...fun!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

when I was medevac'd from Germany at the end of April I tried on some Levis skinny jeans in 30petite. They fit and I only didn't buy them because they were too expensive and I wasn't confident enough in them, felt bulgy. I recently bought some Gap high rise skinnies in a 30 short. I tried them on for the first time today and no matter how much exhaling or tamping of flesh, they were stretched max to their limit with several inches between button and hole - definitive proof that I have packed on weight, and specifically in my gut and haunches.

My "boyfriend" made no effort to contact me on my birthday. He will no doubt have an excuse, a reason or proof how it is somehow my fault, but this is the last straw. I will write him a paper letter, saying everything.

Cheryl - hope you are leaning on your therapist right now, wish I had one.

[sarsar 824]

I'm thinking of all of you. So many of you are struggling and going through hard times right now. I don't know the words to say so I have just been sitting back and quietly reading. Please know all of you are in my thoughts.

I feel bad coming on here and posting pics about my successes because I do not want any of you to feel bad.

Hugs to all of you.

With fall quickly coming upon us I am feeling a little overwhelmed. It may sound minor in the midst of what many of you are going through right now, I do realize this, although it is still an intense feeling inside of me and I'm trying to figure out how do deal with these things. Last winter I went through a terrible depression because of winter. I seriously feel like I cannot handle living in this winter climate anymore. The cold and snow depresses me terribly. I am feeling anxiety that it's coming again soon and I don't want to feel the depression I went through last year.

We are not, at the moment, in a position to move south but this will happen in our future I just don't know when. My husband is in the financial business and most of the money he makes is commission and he has built a large client base in this area over the many years he has been doing this and he has been quite successful in his business. So moving, when we decide to do it, will be somewhat of a challenge although he is good at what he does so I have no doubt he will continue to be successful wherever we go.

Also, my boys, ages 14 and 11, do not want to move. They are happy here and they are nervous about moving and having to make new friends.

I seriously just want to get out of Wisconsin and move a little further south. I want to be closer to my daughter, I miss her!

I'm just rambling but I wanted to write out my feelings and get them off my chest.

I decided to share a couple pictures of the family. We were all together last week because my daughter came home for a visit. Whenever she leaves I go through a few days I missing her intensely.

This is all of us when we went out to dinner one night.

This is my daughter and I.

[Georgia 2,908]

I'm thinking of all of you. So many of you are struggling and going through hard times right now. I don't know the words to say so I have just been sitting back and quietly reading. Please know all of you are in my thoughts. I feel bad coming on here and posting pics about my successes because I do not want any of you to feel bad. Hugs to all of you. With fall quickly coming upon us I am feeling a little overwhelmed. It may sound minor in the midst of what many of you are going through right now, I do realize this, although it is still an intense feeling inside of me and I'm trying to figure out how do deal with these things. Last winter I went through a terrible depression because of winter. I seriously feel like I cannot handle living in this winter climate anymore. The cold and snow depresses me terribly. I am feeling anxiety that it's coming again soon and I don't want to feel the depression I went through last year. We are not, at the moment, in a position to move south but this will happen in our future I just don't know when. My husband is in the financial business and most of the money he makes is commission and he has built a large client base in this area over the many years he has been doing this and he has been quite successful in his business. So moving, when we decide to do it, will be somewhat of a challenge although he is good at what he does so I have no doubt he will continue to be successful wherever we go. Also, my boys, ages 14 and 11, do not want to move. They are happy here and they are nervous about moving and having to make new friends. I seriously just want to get out of Wisconsin and move a little further south. I want to be closer to my daughter, I miss her! I'm just rambling but I wanted to write out my feelings and get them off my chest. I decided to share a couple pictures of the family. We were all together last week because my daughter came home for a visit. Whenever she leaves I go through a few days I missing her intensely. This is all of us when we went out to dinner one night. This is my daughter and I.

Your family is lovely and you and your daughter look alike. you could be sisters!! . Skinny thing, you!

[Georgia 2,908]

Florinda, so sorry for your troubles. Don't know really what to say and I hate platitudes!! Ha g in there, this too shall pass, every cloud has a silver lining. Really, really!! . I think all it does is make you want to hit the person! Ha! So, just for the record, I am 60! And, yep, it really will pass. Things will get better. Maybe not the way we always think they will but life, for all it's hardness will bring you joy along the way and happiness. I'm wishing that for you, girlfriend!