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I hope everyone else is ok... life can be so sh*tty sometimes.

 

 

I am ok here - on our summer break from school and it is good to have a rest.  last week I just kicked back, enjoyed the sun, read a lot and rested... just what the doctor ordered.  I'm back to Curves properly now and feel better for doing something productive.  Not seeing any movement on the scale but clothes are ok.

 

 

We've booked a holiday, go away on Monday for two weeks to the Algarve, self catering this year, 'cos I don't want to be ruled by time and too much food... my hubby agrees.  I've bought some new bikinis!  I wore one last year - and it felt weird.  I am determined to crack this whole bad body image thing... I was once told 'fake it til you make it' when it comes to weight loss... so that is what I intend to do by the pool!

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Coops, I'm jealous as I just love Portugal which part of the Algarve are you going to? We usually go to Luz. The weather is cracking here though isn't it? I feel I'm in Portugal some days when I sit out on the patio.

I presume your loss of internet was those thunderstorms. A friend of ours about 20 miles away lost all contact for a week or more too, they were lucky though as a house in their street got a direct hit and they lost all electrical appliances and it also shorted the electrics throughout the house and it looks like it is going to have to be rewired. The family was lucky though as I believe some of the appliances were dragged out of the house smouldering.

You go and enjoy that holiday and wear those bikinis with pride.

Florinda the pay sounds bad but if it will cover your bills and it is a means of getting out of our current situation is might be worth considering.

Anyone heard from Kim and when the funeral is?

Dee is sound like you are in a stressful situation with work and we all know that stress often does not contribute towards weight loss at all. Don't focus on what you have gained but on what you have lost and just take one day at a time.

As Wanda said it is so quiet on here maybe we need to rally the troops so that we can ask for or offer support.

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Got a rude awakening today, saw a photo that was taken of me Monday night at a tango event. I wore a pretty and (I thought) flattering dress, with full body Shapewear underneath. the photo was a full body profile, mid-dance. I look PREGNANT. I'm not pregnant. The shameful sh*tty eating I have done for the past 2.5 months have resulted in belly gain, it would appear. Especially when I look at that photo side by side with the one I use here for my profile pic. both photos are taken from the same side so it is especially noticeable. I'm horrified. I have an IUD but peed on a stick, just to be sure, and I am not pregnant but all of the weight is in my stomach, wtf? I don't drink.

I am now sleeping on another friend's couch because the other friend has a new housemate moving in - and diidn't tell me! So last night I came home to discover the bed MISSING and my stuff moved and was suddenly homeless!

I have the skype interview saturday, if they don't offer me at least $40k (a fraction of what I make now) then I won't take it, even as a stopgap.

Anyone know of a treatment for a bulging disc?

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I can't explain it, but I am doing great with weight management in spite of the crapstorm. I dropped back down to 140 and decided I needed to eat more and am now in the 142-143 range. I actually am interesting in maintaining in the 135-140 range if I can do it healthily and not just from stopping eating. So for now, i am using that as a barometer.

I think I still use certain 5:2 techniques even though I am not doing 5:2. Example, I try to have a good long overnight fast period many days of the week. Like, maybe don't eat between say 7pm and maybe 11am perhaps 4-5 days a week. If I am really active, I will have a Protein Drink that is super low carb. I also mix it up so not every day is the same. If I feel hungry or really low energy I eat heartily and sometimes actually lose weight doing that. I hope I am able to maintain this comfortable balance because I really like how I look right now, I like how clothes fit etc. The only thing I really feel I want to improve is more strength, more muscles like i used to have. I sorta lost fitness between plastics, gym injury, depression and the like. I am still very active (moving hay, moving horse poop, riding, hiking etc) but i am not doing any kind of formal strength training which i want to do.

I am going to try ... one last time... to learn to couples dance. I have always felt physically awkward and sorta feared dancing for that reason. I tried dancing lessons during the last stages of my relationship with my EX and even though I had lost much of my weight by then (I was maybe 180-200# range) I just felt uncomfortable. I think part of it was we were uncomfortable pretending to be a couple at that point... not sure how much crossed over into the dancing. I have just loved going out and doing "free style" rock and roll dancing with that social group I am a part of so maybe I will be more comfortable showing off my two left feet couples dancing now? I know this sounds very shallow, but I feel like skinny people get away with being awkard and off beat and maybe a little sweaty and it's sorta cute whereas a fat woman just looks bad unless they are perfectly groomed etc. I fully realize that is a self image issue that I have, but it is how I feel about myself. Oddly, I never think that way when I see other overweight people - I love it when the fluffy people get out and just do it!!! And lets be honest, even in a size 4 pant, I sometimes still fluffy myself (ah the dismorphia rears its head from time to time) but I do feel NORMAL and that is all I ever wanted!

Anyway, it has always been a dream of mine to be a "dancer" - you know someone that knows the steps. So, it's like I tell other people, if not now, when???

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Florinda, we always judge ourselves so harshly. I have been going to these social group dance parties and frankly MOST of the women over about 30 look a few months pregnant if you want to put it that way. A belly roll is where those extra 20 sit. It is age related progression. I keep getting asked about how I got a flat stomach at my age by this fun group of chicks. since they are casual aquaintances I don't particularly want to discuss losing the equivelent of a medium sized man, having a normal BMI now and then having plastics....

A lady I ride with is as skinny as a stick - she is itty bitty teeny tiny and has been slim her whole life. She is in her mid 60s, stays very fit, but has a bit of a belly too. It is just what happens to women - the difference between being 20 and being not 20 sadly.

don't be so hard on yourself. Just be healthy and the "good enough" looks follow is what I think. You are a beautiful sexy lady and need to be kinder to yourself.

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I agree with Sheryl, Florinda. Be good to yourself. you're under a lot of stress. I hope you can find a job so you can quit your current one. When I get home, I am having epidural shots in my back. I need back surgery. I don't know what they can do for a bulging disc. You need to see an orthopedic doctor.

 

I hope you have a nice time on your vacation, Coops.

 

Dee, I hope your funk lifts. I don't have any advice. I know exercise makes me feel better even though I have to force myself to go.

 

Sheryl I hope you have fun dancing! if you want to try couples dancing, find and instructor. I loved my dance lessons. I learned all the normal ones, the waltz, foxtrox, swing, cha cha, etc. It was a blast. I also took group lessons.

 

I fly out of Chicago today. Bill is very anxious to have me home. I am not sure if I am going to drive home tonight. i don't even land until 6:30. I really don't want to spend the night at my ex's house. We are good friends, but last time I was there, the guest room was a mess and he gave me his room. That was on  a weekend so it was okay because he stayed up late. I can't go to sleep and 9:00 and he said he was going to sleep on the couch.

Edited by Oregondaisy

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Sheryl, thank you for the positivity, for sure! In one way it almost made me feel worse though, lol! I am NOT 60, or anywhere remotely near 60, like your skinny teeny tiny friend and, I suspect, that most of those friends are probably older than me as well. At 32, "age related progression" just sounds like .... well, it just sounds hideously wrong. Also, this weight is unusually placed for me; I still have a distinct hourglass shape from the front, and nothing else looks bigger, but from my breastbone to my pelvis it is a perfect ). And this has only suddenly happened, in the last 2 months, so I am wondering if this is redistribution from rapid regain, perhaps a result of my messed up metabolism...?

Yesterday I had tea, half a Protein Shake, the blue diamond almonds, several 1 inch rounds of bruschetta, salad with crumbled elk, a tiny bunch of tiny champagne grapes and in the middle of the night ................ a bowl of (disgusting) honey nut cheerios. they should be called depressios.

Today so far, tea, and two bites of milk chocolate. I'll have a Protein shake for late lunch and probably salad with roast chicken for dinner and if I'm being honest, probably some champagne grapes or cherries for dessert.

I went to a yoga class last night, the first kind of exercise I've done in months. it was nice.

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The ladies in the social club are 30s...maybe 40s. My point is any of them with a few extra pounds. ..it's the mid section. I think us formerly obese judge ourselves so damn hard... we don't realize how typical we actually look is all.

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Had a terrible awful fight with my boyfriend today, I think we broke up.

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I hope not Florinda, sleep on it and reassess the situation in the morning. We know how good he is for you so fingers crossed.

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Ladies I need bit of help finding this group when using a PC. I have been logging on using my ipad for so long that I have forgotten how to access it. Thanks

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Hiya Cathy - I wish I could help... I have put this thread in my favs on the PC... there must be a way though, perhaps someone else will be of more help!

How is the home improvements coming along? x

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Well Sue the house is doing better than the weight!! Decorating is ongoing, bathrooms started and Kitchen in a couple of weeks. Like yourself I'm on my summer holiday but I seem to be spending it making tea/coffee for workmen. It will all be beautiful come September.

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I navigate to "content I follow" It is the only way I can find this thread on all 3 devices....laptop, kindle, android phone.

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Didn't hear from the boyfriend all day, even though I could see when he was on Facebook. Yesterday I ate some toast with butter and an ounce of chicken, today I ate a Protein Shake (water) and two bites of a miner's pasty.

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