gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[sarsar 824]

Oh, and Sheryl, glad you're feeling better and sorting things out. Are you still taking the meds? I know for me, I'll never be perfect or have things figured out, lol! If I wait for that time to come I will miss out on a lot of life that's going on around me. This is something I have to remind myself of, though, when I'm having a tough time of things.

So, my hubs has to have surgery on Monday. He has something called Achalasia. Basically, at the bottom of the esophagus there is an opening to the stomach and his doesn't open correctly, it's tight all the time. When he eats the all of the food sits in his esophagus for days while it very slowly empties into his stomach. His esophagus stretches, it was huge and filled with food when we saw it a couple of weeks ago when we met with the surgeon. He's had this for 12 years. Over the years he would go and have a procedure done to have botox injected to relax the opening but the last couple of times that stopped working. I won't bore you with the disgusting side effects he has from this but it's enough that I put my foot down and said he has to have surgery to fix this. The interesting thing is this week he is on Clear Liquids. After surgery he will have a week of clear liquids, then a week of full liquids, then a week of pureed foods and finally a week of soft foods before he can start eating regular again. So five weeks without real food. This is the same kind of diet we followed with after our sleeve surgery. Then, he can't do any heavy lifting or much exercise for 6 weeks. He has to make sure he doesn't get a leak or a stricture, just like we had to do .I feel bad for the guy. He's 6' tall and weighs just under 200 pounds. He's always been fit and active. Not eating is really hard for him. So the surgery is on Monday morning and will take about 3-4 hours and he'll be in the hospital for a couple of days after surgery. I can't remember the name of the surgery but they will widen the opening at the bottom of the esophagus and then they wrap part of his stomach around his esophagus. He will also have a leak test before he leaves the hospital. We are praying this will take care of the achalasia. I guess the success rate is 97%.

[UK Cathy 977]

Sarah, will keep your husband and you in my prayers as he goes through his surgery.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Sarah, I have heard of this surgery and know some people who have had it. After he goes back to regular food, he will still have some foods that are hard to eat, just like when we started solids. I pray all goes well.

 

Cathy I am so glad to hear you're finally done with all the paperwork and can move into your new home. I hope you have a great time at the beach.

 

Sheryl, I'm glad to read you're feeling better and even optimistic about finding a partner. I am sure it will be interesting weeding through all the toads at first, but your prince charming is out there.

 

I also hope we hear from Florinda. She's been very quiet.

 

Bill and I are heading home and will be home on Sat. I've had a fabulous vacation and have seen some gorgeous country here in California. the best part is Bill and I have gotten along great, even spending every day from morning til night together. That gives me  hope for our future.

 

I am really freaked out that I haven't weighed in 2 weeks and have no idea how much I've gained. I noticed a nice scale in his sister's bathroom where we are staying, and I plan to weigh in the morning. Plus I lost a bunch of hair in the shower this morning and I am wondering if it had anything to do with fasting.

 

AS for Dr. A. I have x rays of my stomach and sleeve that he gave me. It looks great, and I feel great. I think people who have had damage done to their stomachs from the band are the ones that are having problems. Maybe Dr. A should have removed the bands and let them heal for a few months before doing revision surgery. I know someone else who had a lot of damage from the band, and she had to go to a revision specialist here in the US.

 

I wish I could have met up with Irene (LilDiva) while i was in Sacremento. She gave me her phone number, and I plan to call her when i get home.

[swizzly 901]

Hey you guys -- I tried to read the linked thread, but it's gone. What happened to Susan? Can anyone tell the story briefly for me? I'd appreciate it.

I just read Lynda's post in Vets Forum about long-term follow-up and complications, and ulcer being the most common cause of surgery-related deaths. I have never heard of anyone dying of an ulcer in general, so that surprised me.

I'm not doing well in general, don't have time for loads of details -- just bad eating, not enough eating, too much eating, too much drinking, taking up smoking again, etc. I'm up shit creek if I'm honest. Too much hit the fan at once and I'm not managing it well. I'm exhausted and not sleeping enough, and only my walk to/from work gives me any exercise at all anymore, haven't been going to the gym. Feeling out of control and super stressed. Hopefully this passes soon and I can tackle each problem one by one, cos trying to go after them all at once just makes me want to give up...

Sorry for the downer post. I've been quiet and trying to keep my head above water...

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Susan posted about complications requiring her to revise to bypass which she can't get insurance to pay. She said complications were due to Dr Aceves technique and that her sleeve was done wrong but no details. Irene and someone else have same problem. He had a patient death and she said lied about the reason. Susan used to be a coordinator for him and got to know other coordinators which is how she found out some other Mexican surgeon is stapling but not removing excess stomach. Conclusion Mexican surgeons are lying and bad and you can't tell which ones to trust. Then there was a general dogpile on the evils of 2nd and 3rd world Medical Tourism and how stupid we are to have fallen for it and a general outrage that this site has ads for them.

Problem I had with it was I never understood what the complications were actually caused by. Irene chimed in that she too would never recommend Mexico again but she wasn't sure if her issues were caused by an error.

I don't know why the thread was deleted as Alex had been very supportive and expressed his disappointment in dr Aceves. He also said he paid for Susan's surgery which surprised me. Each post by Susan became angrier so I assume at some point it was too much...not to mention all the others that jumped in.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Swizz I have shared some of my challenges and my number one advice is to get your sleep under control. It you can do that at least you can begin to tackle the rest of the madness. Let me know if you want to talk more. Lack of sleep was at least half my problem. The other half seems to be a lifetime of numbed feelings showing up all at once.

Denise why would revisions show up with problems 3-4 years later? I thought the risks were closer to the surgery. Why would Aceves have done it "wrong" versus many other revision docs? Do you think that revisions dont get a normal shaped sleeve?

I lose massive hair all the time and I still have a ton...always been that way....but why would it be caused by fasting. Don't worry about the scale if your fitted non stretch clothes fit the same, you are fine.

My pants keep falling down so I may need to go jeans shopping this weekend. I am thinking about buying a decent swimsuit too although I am not much of a swimmer as the Water is too cold.

Sarsar, wishing your hubs best of luck on the surgery and recovery.

Florinda I assume you don't have regular internet right now....but thinking of you!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Deleted Susan's post as the thread IS still alive - it just went missing for awhile..haha

Edited May 2, 2014 by CowgirlJane

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I cut and pasted her original post and read later that she has an hour glass shaped stomach which is apparently a long term complication and can also be caused by overeating? At least that is what I thought I read. Someone from Dr Aceves office posted that they have been in contact with Susan over the years but she never mentioned issues until this post.

Really she is very upset and I understand that but take it all with grains of salt. You can be sure I will be talking to my surgeon about long term complications soon though.

[sarsar 824]

The thread is still here, I think there were 2 threads and they got combined and then moved over to the Mexico section. Here it is:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/306039-think-twice-no-think-100-times-before-having-surgery-in-mexico/

[M2G 1,836]

Oh my gosh so much to catch up on...

From memory here goes...

Cathy and Coops...I am SO JELLY! OMG love the photo of you both. Wish I could have been there!!!!!

Coops...omg you look awesome in Paris, just fantastic...you are so cute and I love your red converse shoes!

Sarah I'm sorry about your MIL/FIL your Dad and now your hubby. Wow when it rains it pours! Hugs to you.

Denise, I tend to agree that a pregnant 53 year old sounds *almost* too crazy to be true. I suppose it *could* happen but it just seems so so so unlikely. I wonder about the mental state of this woman and if it really is true, if I were Bill I would be demanding MORE information. Like I'm sure they can't do a DNA test while in utero, BUT what about can he TALK to her Dr. can she forward her medical records, etc. I almost want to say he should hire a lawyer or a Private Investigator or something because I'm just highly suspicious of this woman. I want a happy ending for you and Bill and she seems to be swooping in determined to take you both of course. But glad you have had a good vacation, that sounds like you aren't letting this get in the way of being together and enjoying each other's company.

Georgia, that tornado and horrid weather is awful. I know some people who were directly hit but somehow their houses survived while neighboring ones did not. So sad. Glad you are safe...and love that cute hat picture too!

Sheryl, thank you soooooooo much for all the info on the post. I can no longer see it and totally missed it. I knew that Susan and Irene were both going to convert to bypass but I had NO idea they thought this was the fault of Dr. Aceves. I honestly thought it was because they were sick of the regain and they had the acid issues so they saw the revision as a way to tackle both at once...get rid of the regain and then cut down on the acid issues. But that sure is a complete turnaround from HELPING people have surgery in MX to STEERING people away. I guess all of us can only tell OUR story and not point fingers but I guess the finger pointing is probably what got the thread locked/deleted. I also remember Dr. Aceves as one who made smaller sleeves...which I know for a fact my surgeon tries to avoid. I think he made our sleeves a bit too big as I know a lot of people who never reached their goal (me included) but I don't BLAME him or BLAME the sleeve, it is what it is. I do have restriction when I eat Protein and notsomuch when I eat crap, BUT THAT IS EVERYONE no matter WHAT size their sleeve is. So while I think my surgeon tends to err on the side of going a bit larger I think he does it to avoid complications due to the sleeve. I know personally for me and also for my husband (who is also sleeved by my surgeon) we never had any sort of heartburn BEFORE or AFTER the sleeve, no bile, no reflux NOTHING ever. So are we just lucky? I just don't think you can blame things all on ONE person or ONE surgery. Some people had never had reflux in their life and then have WLS and it happens. Some have it, have WLS and it gets BETTER. So how do you figure all of that out? The big question is Susan okay now????

I have not been around much at all, way way way too busy. My oldest daughter (age 13) has taken on too much at school. She is in school volleyball, National Junior Honor Society, (which my youngest was just accepted to also!), a Sisterhood, Yearbook staff and then tried out for and was awarded a spot for the spring musical ...NOT onstage but as a "pit band" member, she plays the flute. First performance tonight and this past week has been verging on PURE crazy the amount of rehearsals they have to do. And she is lucky she is NOT onstage as the "actors" have to do makeup and costume for their rehearsals...at least she can just wear jeans because no one sees the band and orchestra. Oh they are doing The Sound of Music and she has a solo for the song, "I am sixteen, going on seventeen...." that high pitched part is her solo. OH MY! I'm excited to see all her hard work pay off but she has been literally running on empty which means the rest of us are too. My eating has been terrible and I can't remember my last FAST I would literally have to search through posts here to see when it was...maybe 5 weeks ago? UGH UGH UGH!

[M2G 1,836]

Oh thank you Sarah for the link...I am going to go read that now...

[sarsar 824]

Sheryl, I was cracking up when I read your posts. Girl, go out and get some new jeans! Oh, and then post pics so we can see.

Denise, glad you had fun on your trip. Good to know about the fact that the hubs can have trouble with certain foods after surgery. I'll ask the surgeon about this and let my husband know. I think he's going to be so excited to eat normal after not being able to do so for many years. When he eats, or drinks, now the food doesn't go down and he makes weird noises and coughs and all kind of gross stuff.

Dee, I'm glad you checked in and told us what's going on. Hang in there my friend. Come here and vent whenever you need to! Maybe try to work on one thing at a time since things are so stressful right now, trying to change everything all at once is just so overwhelming. I would suggest to try to aim for one thing a day, going for a walk daily, or not snacking between meals daily. Then add things as you go along. I know you know all of this already but sometimes it's helpful to hear it again. Hugs to you. We are all here for you!

[M2G 1,836]

Okay I read everything and I don't have an opinion either way. I'm sure that Suan/Irene and others did their research and went with that they felt was right at the time. Anyone can have complications no matter WHO or WHERE their surgery was. From what I can tell they feel that there was some surgical error, but what I'm having a hard time understanding is WHY this took so long to appear? Can anyone clear that up for me?

Alex posted this:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19949885

Which basically is a complication. But it also said this:

"The sleeve volume, the bougie size, and the starting point of the antral resection do not seem to have an effect in this complication."

So that would sort of eliminate the whole discussion about sleeve size...

I don't know what to think. I'm sorry they are both having complications and I hope the Bypass will fix it but that means the 3rd weigh loss surgery for BOTH of them. I just don't know...

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So last night I was attempting to mow my lawn - complete fail as it was about 95 degrees (which is really hot after being so cool since last summer!) and my freaking equipment wasn't cooperating so I just had my horse grazing in my yard. And I drank two beers. I don't think it is a big deal to have a drink from time to time, but it bothered me a little that the reason I drank those beers is because I just fricking gave up. I need to talk to the counselor about this - I watch addiction stuff like mad as a year ago my coffee habit got insanely out of control.

Anyway, I was wearing the very same jeans i was wearing when I met Steven. I remember them because he later told me how bad they were - considering i usually dress so hip and cool...haha. anyway, I noticed that my black undies were showing because the pants kept falling down and the undies are too big too as they are all bunched up over the top. I was quite a sight last night. It is so frustrating when things like basic lawn maintenance seem to allude me. I need to hire more help, I don't know why I can't just accept that. It is like a stubborness or something - I just feel like I ***should** be able to do it all. My counselor told me any thoughts that start with should are not my real desire so watch for them. I think she is right, but I know I ***should*** let go of old ways of thinking but it is very hard and maybe I am not completely committed to it.

I do have skinny jeans that fit but i have dropped at least a size recently. It's weird and i keep thinking I will regain so I am hesitant to get too crazy and buy smaller clothes and then feel bad about it if they don't fit anymore. For me, clothing is more important than what the scale says. I am vain, and perhaps a little proud of that fact...haha...

So, on the finding a partner topic. It was like a fundamental shift in my heart - like I really WANT to find a companion. I think I had unrealized mixed feelings before - like fear of letting someone in. I don't want someone to live with, not to be attached at the hip with - but someone to see a few times a week and to talk to maybe nearly every day. I am lonely and I miss that kind of "touch bases" person in my life. My friend Mary and I do that as she lost her main "touch bases" person recently when her mother died. I don't want to overuse that friendship though - know what I mean? Besides, I want more physical companionship. I want a lover that wants me as much as I want it.

So, Steven and I spent a whole day together about 2 weeks ago. He loved it and told me that it was the best day we had together but he also is feeling overly ... committed I guess is the word... to our relationship. He doesn't want a girlfriend - same old story. I get it, he has been clear about it from the beginning. And honestly, he isn't really good long term potential ANYWAY. And, I didn't really love our day together, I appreciated his help with a problem I had, but his back is always killing him and it just isn't much fun anymore. More importantly to me is that he is slowing down. This guy is amazing at how fit, active, sexual and all those things but he is 66! We are sorta heading in the opposite directions on the physical front. He told me that he feels like he can't keep up with me. So, he didn't want to end it, and explicitly said that, but wanted more time away from me. I have been chewing on that and that whole day. My feelings toward him have been shifting over time. He is changing, I am changing, it is hard to explain, but I think much of what attracted me to him in the first place is sort of taking a backseat. That, combined with the fact that I am lonely and want someone who is more available. I like to talk over issues, feelings and all that and he claims he doesn't desire that - although it is interesting to me that he seems to love talking to me about his "stuff" in life. I think he loves talking to me and is a good listener to me too, BUT, he feels the weight and like he thinks he needs to fix my issues which just freaks him out - told me it makes him feel married. WTF? It isn't really a conflict, it is just time. It's past time to move on.

so, now, how to find a guy! I will not do the online dating again. I don't know why, but I simply did not attract the right men and I have become jaded about the process. In hindsight, I think I attracted men who were interested in me physically but not much else and I don't know why. Rather than trying to figure it out, I am just going to try different avenues as I have heard this same story from many other women my age. I was advised by my counselor to ask men out since in the Seattle area women outnumber men and men are notorious for not actually pursuing women here. It is like some sort of cultural taboo or something. So, I have met a couple of guys that seemed pretty cool at some social events. I think I need to do a better job of flirting/expressing interest and then we will go from there.

Okay, and now I need to say something controversial. For reasons I don't understand, most of the men who meet my criteria (fitness, have a job, good looking, close in age) AND actually seem interested in me are non white. This has been hard for me to sorta wrap my head around since I feel more comfortable dating caucasions. My personal theory is that any guy that is fit, cool, financially stable, my age and available AND white has his choice of 35 year olds and that is why I don't seem to get their interest. I have no idea if this is true, but my answer to that is to let go of my bias. I love people of color, I love diversity and have many friends and colleagues of all different backgrounds, but I guess I have only visualized relationships with other caucausions and that needs to change to broaden my choices.

[coops 1,790]

Sheila, good to hear from you -you must be so proud of those girls! Big cwtches to them! It is hard work running around after the family isn't it... worth the energy don't get me wrong... sometimes it is nice not to have anything to do though!

Cathy - yipeeee... hope you are settling into your new home. Glad things have gone through ok ... just the unpacking and making everything 'right' now! How did the top fit? Any pics?

Dee - chin up *best British accent* but seriously, do vent... that is what we are here for. I hope you are ok - cwtches my lovely.

Sarsa - hope hubby is ok... how is he recovering after his op

Sheryl, Kim, Georgia, Denise, Brown, Chimera, Florinda who have I missed? Keep fighting the good fight... we are all growing and getting stronger whether we know it or not!