gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So, I am hanging out in the 150-151 range lately without fasting. My version of fasting has been to have low carb days... really low carb... alternating with my moderate carb days. I would like to get to 145 but I have to admit I am worried about my sadness level the last few days more than my weight.

Counselor i see really thinks that letting my blood sugar drop is contributing to the problem... I don't know. Today I didn't even want to eat but had lunch because she told me I should. Why am I so funked? Well, there have been a couple of triggers - like just **** happening all around me that I find unbearable at times. Every time i see or talk to my ex I go into a tailspin. Mostly, I think it gets back to the midlife crisis stuff that swizz talks about. Dang it... I have been talking to like a half dozen good friends to discover I have about the happiest life of all of them... maybe this is really as good as it gets. That my friends is a sad realization. I will get over it, but am wallowing at the moment.

I am still practicing my positive writing and remembering to be grateful. I have been the queen of grateful my whole life and I guess maybe it's a little busted right now.

Sarsar, I did like 4-5 consults and my questions became refined as I progressed through them. I needed to see like a zillion before and afters because I started to understand the "cherry picking" process. My favorite local doc had a bunch out on real self AND must have had 20 photo albums covering decades of surgery. She even explained how her technique evolved - I really liked her alot.

Also, to have them really explain what the recommend in terms of phasing.. and why. Make sure they have done a goodly number with photos of massive weight loss patients. It is very misleading to look at photos of a Tummy Tuck of or mommy makeover for someone who had a kid or two and wants to look 25 again. Seriously, massive weight loss is a whole different kettle of fish.

Ask about where the surgery is done (surgical center or hospital). Talk about how complications might be handled. Ask about complication insurance. Discuss after care. I have alot of issues with naseua and anethesia so I had alot of questions around that. Length of surgery. What they recommend for your breasts and why. The Seattle female doc I almost went to gave me the best advice on breasts and it guided my choice. I am SO HAPPY I listened to her and not all the online DDD people who think we all need huge boobs...LOL. I am so happy being a shapely C cup and I have received very positive feedback from the males around so I don't think I went to small and I can still button a jacket.

I was so terror struck at the idea of plastics, i don't even remember everything now... the initial consults really bummed me out, but i got desensitized. Plastics is about tradeoffs and it is something of an art I think... so understanding that surgeons asthetics is really important.

If you are getting a lower body lift you really do risk a bit of a boy figure... watch their before and afters for that issue. Arm lifts - man, look at those afters to see the scar placement. Ask them about scar placement for arms. Ask how they will do the breat lift. My boobs were small and perky enough that he didn't have to do the T cut underneath so I basically have no breast scars - I love that.

Edited April 3, 2014 by CowgirlJane

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Chimera, I am still in awe that you're just giviing that machine to us! We are so excited! I just can't thank you enough.

Sarah, you really do have your hands full with your inlaws. I remember very well how difficult it was when my parents aged. It was one thing after another with my mother and she was in and out of the hospital all the time. It was so stressful.

Sending you cyber hugs!

Sheryl, it's so wondeful that you have the horses. I don't know if I ever mentioned I had 2 of them for a long while. After my husband died, all I wanted to do was ride. I bought them after he died and they were my lifesaver.

Bill and I are having his female obese friend over for dinner at his house on Fri. She's very depressed over some guy she met online and thought they had a relatioinehip. They were texting talking and emailing but they had never met. She had won 2 nights at the casino and gave htem to him and when they met, he was very insulting about her weight. Bill wants to cheer her up. I want to get to know her because she is from Chicago, like I am.

Bill definitely needs some male friends for sure though.

I haven't weighed myself yet. Kind of scared. with DD birhtday yesterday, I am afaid to get on ithe scale. I was 132 the day before and i was happy.

Since I did a lot of first dates, one thing that drives me crazy and that I know men HATE is people lying about their weight and posting photos that either hide it or are out of date.

BTW, men do the same thing but they lie more about their height, age and then weight/physical shape.

I was never rude to anyone, but it shocked me to meet someone who was so clearly nowhere near what they advertised.

So, while that guy was a jerk about this ladies weight, I also empathize with just being sick of the lies and misrepresentations... like didn't they think I would notice that he is 5'3", bald and gasps for air walking down the sidewalk?

Anyway, I also don't know how anyone can think they are in love or in a relationship with someone they never met. I guess I am an odd duck, but I am slow to love people... quick to like... slow to love. Love comes way after the initial attraction and excitement for me. There is that whole chemistry thing too... have no idea how you can know that if you haven't met.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

back to 160.2, my low of 5 days ago. In the past 3 days I have stayed at 650 cals or less and part of the problem was really painful Constipation which I believe is a side effect of low cal/low carb. Not to be too blunt but things er, resolved, this morning and I lost an entire pound from that alone

All of us here know just how little 600 calories is, for a fitness buff or athlete that represents one meal! Yet if I eat more than that, I don't lose weight. And if I eat more than 800 cals and don't work out, I gain. Nobody should be stuffing their faces full of carcinogen laced heart clogging evil, but this just feels ... punitive.

Chimera (I think it was), I have yet to find any data regarding a correlation between weight gain/loss and MS, but I completely agree that stress does horrible awful things to our bodies minds and weight. I have been under an extra amount of stress lately, I am still going against Drs orders and not taking the 3 days of brain rest because I am the only one in the office, I mean, what can I do!

SherylJane we definitely need to see 6 month pics, post-op pics don't do his work -or yours!- justice

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Okay you guys asked for it. The only picture of Bill and me that exists. We were on our way home from being down the coast and stopped here. Someone offered to take our picture. I look fat because I have this heavy sweater on and the pockets are stuffed with junk plus I had 2 layers under that. Besides that, I was wearing sweat pants. I am into comfort in the car.

I know I feel bad for Deborah (Bill's friend) being so down about her weight. I also remember what it's like to get your hopes up that the guy you're talking to isn't going to care. Appararently, she was honest that she's very heavy but seeing her didn't do the trick for him . Whatever. She should give up on online dating unless she goes to BBW people meet.

I do wish Bill would find some more male friends. I wish he'd get off his ass and apply to the local community college like he says he is going to. That would be so good for him.

He's really sick. I am at his house but I 'm going home soon. He was up all night running to the bathroom coming out both ends. I felt so bad for him. Plus his whole body aches do I am hoping whatever flu shot I got will help me not catch it. He was fine when we went to bed.

I can will have a better eating day today with him not around and I am happy about that.

Sheryl can you think of something that you would like to learn, that might make your heart sing? For me it was ballroom dance classes.

Florinda, I wish we could find an answer to thd Constipation issues. It's a big problem for me too. I recently started on the chia seeds that I think it was Butter talking about way back when.

I am so excited that the mail lady should be bringing the new Cpap machine today!!

Edited April 3, 2014 by Oregondaisy

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Denise - you don't look fat, you look great - don't apologize!

My problem isn't lack of activities. I stay busy, have lots of friends, have more hobby opportunities than i can squeeze in... I have the ways and means to travel. If I set my mind to it, I could even find buddies to do all that travel with. It is more of a mindset. A big part of what happened this week was the discussion with the counselor brought up some painful feelings.

You know, I was always the cheery optimist - funny smart fat girl. Maybe I just need more time not playing a role or being something other people think I need to be.

You know I only just recently told most of my family about my split up. I just don't have it in me anymore to deal with other people's emotions. Counselor and I talked about even finding new (not replacement, but additional) friends who are in a better state in life as I am feeling the weight of so many people I know dealing with just uglies in life.

[coops 1,790]

Denise - you look fab! not fat!!

I tried the chia seeds and they did work... I also use flax seeds a couple of times a week... I sprinkle them on my food and they also help. I've given up bread for lent and I gotta tell ya, that has also helped with the toilet issues... don't feel so bloated anymore. yey!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I've been using flax for years. I grind them in my coffee grinder. I've been putting them in my Protein Drinks since I first got banded. I am hoping the added Chia seeds will be additiional help because the flax is not near enough.

I think your counselor is right about finding more/different friends. It doesn't hurt to try new things and meet new people. You're doing great Sheryl. It seems like everyone I know is on an antidepressant. You aren't are you?

I am really freaking out that my house is not going to sell. I can't afford that house and it just has to sell.

[UK Cathy 977]

Well it was my 2 year anniversary yesterday and I did hope to be at goal but it is not meant to be - I am 96% of the way there! In my innocence I did think that I might have made goal by year 1, however, a slow rate of loss soon made it evident that it would take longer. Not too disappointed though because without the sleeve I would be up on my starting weight of 263 by now I'm sure.

Still ploughing through the house and sorting out the cupboards, it's amazing how many trips to the tip (rubbish tip - don't know the US translation) we have made as well as numerous trips to the charity shops. It's quite cathartic clearing out the old life to make way for the new one.

Hope everyone is well.

[sarsar 824]

Denise, I love the picture! You two look happy. I'm happy for you!

Cathy, we call it the dump here in the US. I love going through everything and getting rid of stuff. That is one great thing about moving. When do you move into your new place? You may have said but I don't remember.

Chia seeds don't do anything for me anymore. The first few times I used them they worked but not anymore. I use flax every day in my Protein Drink, too. Yesterday, the doctor gave me a prescription that is supposed to help with going to the bathroom. The name of it is Linzess. She said that many have had good results with it. It is to be taken every day. I'm going to give it a try and see how it works. I hope it works.

I also found out yesterday from some blood work that my thyroid is going a bit crazy. Up and down and I can't get it stable. I am going to go to a specialist and see what can be done. My blood work also showed that I am in the beginning of menopause. I know my periods have been changing over the last year. I feel too young to be going through this. I'm 41. Oh well, what can I do? I just have to go along with it.

My MIL is now at our house for a while. It is sad to see her with Alzheimer's. She doesn't know what she is talking about a lot of the time. She tells lots of stories from years ago and she thinks they happened today. She knows her husband had heart surgery and is in rehab. She knows who her children are still but doesn't remember all of the names. She is pleasant so far which is nice. We were told she tries to wander and got out of our BIL house one day so we hide the keys and lock the doors. I'm glad our family is able to spend this time with her before she her memory is completely gone. Her and I have had a rocky relationship. She wasn't happy her son was marrying me because I had a child. She caused a lot of problems for us and wasn't very nice to me. A few years ago she apologized about everything. I'm glad she doesn't remember any of that now.

Happy Friday, ladies!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

sarsar, I too went through menopause very young and it made me feel sad. Hard to explain. Now I love that I am done with it except I hate that every damn issue I have is now blamed on hormones (used to be blamed on my fat).

I don't get constipated anymore, in fact sometimes have the opposite problem. I go through periods were I cannot tolerate Protein drinks (just entered one)without diarrea so I have to stop drinking them for a month or two and then can start up again.

anyway, I eat veggies at least 3X a day. My typical Breakfast omelette is loaded with veggies (and a protein source and uses egg beaters and a bit of cheese). I spread that over breakfast and either a mid morning snack or lunch. If I make a separate lunch it is frequently a salad with protein on it (like a salmon burger or sliced turkey or shrimp or something). dinner is often just meat but I try to have some carrot stix or more salad or something veggie like. Maybe I use lettuce leaves instead of bread to make a "wrap" of some sort. Or I put coleslaw in something that resemembles a fish taco. I think that helps me alot with being regular.

I have reflected alot on "making it to goal". I got another PM yesterday from somebody who feels like a failure since she hasn't lost much since her band to sleeve revision. She wants to know how she can emulate my success. I was feeling sorry for her till I read her stats... she revised at a weight similiar to my goal weight - she was in the 160s and my original goal was 158. So, how do I kindly say.... "and what the hell did you expect? To lose 160 pounds when you only weigh 160???" That wouldn't be nice so I am letting it lay until I feel less snarky.

My friend M just found out that a level 3 sex offender just moved in next door to her. She told me (and only half kidding) "my gun is loaded, hope he shows up because i am in a very bad mood". That is a little how I feel. Don't worry... no loaded guns.... just a loaded tongue.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I wandered off my own topic...

My point is that goal is just a number, it is so arbitrary. I claim I got to goal in Feb 2013 because I liked the sound of a nice round 150# weight loss. I fit size 8 pants; sounded great to me after being a 3X.

I have lost more since and truth be told I would like to end 2014 solidly in the mid 140s rather than solid 150. I think I see goal as more of a Fluid destination.... more part of the process. You know skinny people see their weight that way too. Like, they have a number or size in mind, but it isn't seen as the "end" of a journey. It's more of a place you are at.

[Georgia 2,908]

Okay, on plastics.... I really think you should have multiple consults. For me the first one was like M2G experience - emotionally devastating. Apparently I was worse off than any of you because I my entry ticket was about 20-25K for doing the first of 3 surgeries! I never found out the total cost but I guessed it to be in the 40-50K ballpark. That was until I found Dr Sauceda where I paid 16K for the works, including actually getting after care by the Doc and real nurses for those first 11 days. So, my point is to get different consults and opinions. I was astounded at how adament each was about which procedures should be done together (or not) - every consult essentially recommended a different combo!!! Local surgeons recommended the long thigh lift and Dr S did a small one on me. That was a tough trade off because my inner thighs still touch, but when I look at photos - I have remarkable improvement without the difficult healing and long scar. I can still revise later to the long lift but for now I am pretty content. They all (including Dr S) gave me somewhat dire predictions - you won't be perfect, but good improvement. That is expectation setting - as a formerly obese person I am not going to have a super model body no matter what. However, I have been to the gym ladies and they have mirrors. My body looks good compared to other women in my age range - and plastics is what helped me get to that. Just for a little shock factor I am including some graphic pix. The befores were taken by Dr S the night before my surgery. The afters were all taken either immediately post op or within the first 2 months. I need someone to shoot more pix of me for my 6 month mark coming up mid april. In spite of the dire predictions, my body truly transformed. Afters, these were mostly taken to reveal status of scars over time.. but you can see the massive improvement. and my breasts look great now, they are a little weird looking immediately post op in the full body picture due to uneven swelling and riding a bit high:

Pretty amazing! Your scars look awesome. And they are STRAIGHT. So many you see are these jagged ugly things.

[Georgia 2,908]

Okay you guys asked for it. The only picture of Bill and me that exists. We were on our way home from being down the coast and stopped here. Someone offered to take our picture. I look fat because I have this heavy sweater on and the pockets are stuffed with junk plus I had 2 layers under that. Besides that, I was wearing sweat pants. I am into comfort in the car. I know I feel bad for Deborah (Bill's friend) being so down about her weight. I also remember what it's like to get your hopes up that the guy you're talking to isn't going to care. Appararently, she was honest that she's very heavy but seeing her didn't do the trick for him . Whatever. She should give up on online dating unless she goes to BBW people meet. I do wish Bill would find some more male friends. I wish he'd get off his ass and apply to the local community college like he says he is going to. That would be so good for him. He's really sick. I am at his house but I 'm going home soon. He was up all night running to the bathroom coming out both ends. I felt so bad for him. Plus his whole body aches do I am hoping whatever flu shot I got will help me not catch it. He was fine when we went to bed. I can will have a better eating day today with him not around and I am happy about that. Sheryl can you think of something that you would like to learn, that might make your heart sing? For me it was ballroom dance classes. Florinda, I wish we could find an answer to thd Constipation issues. It's a big problem for me too. I recently started on the chia seeds that I think it was Butter talking about way back when. I am so excited that the mail lady should be bringing the new Cpap machine today!!

You look great!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Thanks everyone. There is no way I would have posted that picture if this were not a secret group. I don't like having my picture on the internet. Once I googled my username here and another board I particiapate on, and a whole bunch of my posts came up.

I ended up getting Bill's stomach bug. I have been so nauseous these past 2 days and since I am a crazy and admitted food addict, I have been happy about it.

Kelly sent us her C Pap machine. We went to the place where they do sleep studies. Bill went to the medical supply place and talked to them and they acted like he was crazy. We called all around trying to find out how to get a new mask for it. Apparently, this is a prescription item. Bill's insurance is only good in California so luckily, we are going down there in a couple of weeks. This is going to be a real test of our relationship.

Anyway, he needs a copy of his sleep study which could prove to be a problem since he said it was performed several years ago when he had a different MD. The oxygen place told me he probably needs a new sleep study.

Now he is asleep with Kelly's mask on, which is too small for him, and I feel badly about it. I wish I didn't have insomnia.

GRRR

[Georgia 2,908]

Thanks everyone. There is no way I would have posted that picture if this were not a secret group. I don't like having my picture on the internet. Once I googled my username here and another board I particiapate on, and a whole bunch of my posts came up. I ended up getting Bill's stomach bug. I have been so nauseous these past 2 days and since I am a crazy and admitted food addict, I have been happy about it. Kelly sent us her C Pap machine. We went to the place where they do sleep studies. Bill went to the medical supply place and talked to them and they acted like he was crazy. We called all around trying to find out how to get a new mask for it. Apparently, this is a prescription item. Bill's insurance is only good in California so luckily, we are going down there in a couple of weeks. This is going to be a real test of our relationship. Anyway, he needs a copy of his sleep study which could prove to be a problem since he said it was performed several years ago when he had a different MD. The oxygen place told me he probably needs a new sleep study. Now he is asleep with Kelly's mask on, which is too small for him, and I feel badly about it. I wish I didn't have insomnia. GRRR

Yeah, I was wondering how he was going to get it calibrated to his breathing level. And as for mask, you can get online ( Amazon and order them also) my husband does since his ins won't cover now. He orders supplies from Amazon. Good luck