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I think I'm going to try and do an all liquid day today to beat the carb monster back into it's cage. Gotta do something...

Well, crap...just pulled out my Premier Protein shakes and they all say they expire Jan 2014...so I cracked one open thinking it would be fine...NOPE CHUNKS. In all of them. I probably have 15 in the pantry and a few in the fridge and they are all CHUNKY!!! Blech.

I guess it's 5:2 today, even though it's double workout day. I have to do it....!!!

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Here is a PLUS for your corset, Kim!   LOL

 

http://news.yahoo.com/dangerous-corset-diet-104500255--politics.html

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Sheila I am so joining you on the eating clean to rid yourself of the carb monster. I am also doing the same thing. :(

 

Sarah i love how your little ones NSV. Such a reward, especially from a little one.... :P

 

GT this is such a hard decision to make in whether to stay and save money or come back. If you decide to stay, make sure that you have an exit plan just in case something happens and you need to leave. I love that you have a support person there....Will he be there for the next 6 months also?

 

Sheryl after seeing and reading about the corset, I had to go and buy one myself....can't wait to get it, I loved that it was only $25 including shipping. :P Good job on riding a nervous mare......it sounds like a lot of fun..

 

Yesturday I did a proper fast day.....:) I lost 1 lb and I love it.... I had reached 240 calories by 2:00pm and wasn't sure I'd make it. But when I got home i got really hungry. So I ate some carrots and made a salad. Everything was pretty much low calorie until the homemade ranch dressing. But I still stayed under 500 calories..... I think I have to keep focused on eating mostly Proteins and salads for the rest of the week. I really need to get 3 more lbs to be at my low and plus I would like to get into the 130's. :P

 

Cathy I was always the picture taker in my family too. I can't really find any pics when I was bigger. the one I did find did not have any smile on my face either. I always felt like a hippo and hid.....

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LOL< that's awesome ...I've never given so much thought to a corset as I have in the last couple of days since Kim posted about it.

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I am temporarily questioning 5:2. It worked so well for me, but I am working so hard to get my out of wack system back "into wack" that I just can't make it a priority.

Hard workouts just drain me and I feel like I can't fast. When I worked "hard" on my own they were shorter duration - long duration (one hour) high intensity is very taxing on this ole body right now...LOL

Good news, instead of waking at 3 am or 1 am... I didn't awake until 5am! Oh, please please please let this mean I am on the path to getting my sleep back in line. The world is just so much more possible to cope with when you have at least some sleep. Maybe I am not completely insane.

I keep thinking alot about the core issue of my separation from my EX being over the co-dependancy issue. I never thought of it that way before that doc mentioned it and it is no wonder I feel so twisted up over it all. I need to be really honest... he and I met in 1998. We had an amazing physical relationship, really loved each other, talked of marrying and having another child together. Well, we moved in together in 2000 and honestly, our physical relationship started dying then. It was a complete gonner by around 2005. He hasn't touched me AT ALL in about 6years now. It isn't just sex, it is romance and touching and even talking to each other like a real couple - been gone FOREVER. I finally understand it now that he has explained it - his anxiety and other mental health issues have been "crushing" his whole life but he had a way of coping that all feel apart once he lived with me and the kids. I just didn't see it, didn't understand it until very very recently.

So, why do I feel so attached? It is that co dependency thing. I am scared to be without him and i am scared for what is going to happen to him. Finally today I asked him why he never got help for his anxiety and he told me that it was because the only people who were accepting new clients didn't take our insurance. Bullcrap - I had no problem finding someone. I guess the point is that as long as I am around to enable him living a crippled life he isn't really forced to change. I feel alot of guilt, responsibility and caring toward him AND no freaking wonder my stress is through the roof over having to force him to leave when I know he has no plan, no real path out of the hell he has been in.

So, I feel like shit because my own internal angst caused me to treat Steven horribly and completely undeserved a bit ago. He has his own pile of issues and it was time to end it but I am so unhappy how it all went down. I have apologized and taken full responsibility for my temporary insanity and he did text me but, won't call me. He helped me transform in so many positive ways - it is so sad to me that this is the final way it has to end. I have some stuff at his place - if he doesn't call me in a few weeks I am going to ask him to throw it all away. I feel bothered that little remnants of me are at his home, strange feeling but it is how I feel. I am not in love with him so not heartbroken in that way, and was sorta done with things (basically his issues have reached defcon4 as well), but sad and shocked at that side of me. Damn, I hope I never do that again in my whole life - misdirect angst to the person who does not deserve it.

Yeah, I ordered that corset that was on sale, but there are so many really really cute ones! I like the halter top ones alot. I gotta figure if I can hide my back skin adequately. I think they will be super cute under jackets. Hope so anyway!

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Sheryl I admire all the work you have done and your insights. The point I would like to make is that Steven is not your responsibility. He has to come to a point in his life where he recognizes that he needs help so that he will seek help. He sounds like a really super person but has too much sh** to deal with. Keep looking at yourself and remember, he will find some where else to go. perhaps that's what he needs to get a reality check going... Hang in there and take good care of you...BTW i believe all of us have some codependency in us bc we need people...... Good job and thank you for sharing... :P

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Sorry, I talked about two different people in one post. Riley is my EX that I am having a hard time separating from due to our long standing co-dependency on each other.

Steven is my FWB that I have been seeing for like 8 months - time for it to end. This guy has issues... dont get me wrong... there is a reason he doesn't want/cant cope with a real girlfriend but in the meantime he built me up and boosted my self esteem so much. He changed my life in a good way. I feel bad that I lost my cool with him in an undererved way, but I am not sorry that our arrangement is ended - it was time.

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Just a post because these look really good!

 

this got cut off of 2nd pic 

Coat the bottom of a griddle or skillet with olive oil over medium-high heat. Form the cauliflower mixture into patties about 3 inches across. Cook until golden brown & set, about 3 minutes per side. Keep each batch warm in the oven while you cook the rest.

post-108291-0-26013100-1389894871_thumb.jpg

post-108291-0-63341600-1389894879_thumb.jpg

Edited by Georgia

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Georgia I love this. I will have to make them for my husband and self.... :P

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Just a post because these look really good!

 

this got cut off of 2nd pic 

Coat the bottom of a griddle or skillet with olive oil over medium-high heat. Form the cauliflower mixture into patties about 3 inches across. Cook until golden brown & set, about 3 minutes per side. Keep each batch warm in the oven while you cook the rest.

Gonna try them myself!

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Didn't somebody here say LV was on FB?  I had a convo with BTB and he said he had been more active on FB.  Anybody know their user names.  I am a big FB advocate and user and would like to connect with them. 

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Georgia, yum. Those do look really good. I'll wait for you to try them first and let us know how they are before I try them. :)

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Georgia! Yum, I made something similar and everyone in the family agreed they were GOOD!

I'm holding steady on my fasting day...so far I've had about 40 cals from coffee creamer and a 100 cal greek yogurt.

Sheryl I did a double workout today and had NOTHING in my system but the coffee and Water. I didn't collapse, and the workouts were each an hour long and very intense. I know for me personally, a lot of "hunger" that I think I "feel" is truly in my mind. It's just past 2:30 and I finally ate some yogurt. I did come home and take a very long hot bath, as I was just exhausted and the bath sounded better than the shower.

If I can manage a 300-ish calorie dinner I will be so PROUD OF MYSELF!

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Okay, in a few weeks we may need to have a corset modeling photo session...haha.

I have to tell you something very funny. At least I thought so. Someone I dated back in December a few times, but hist stressful family visits, holidays, care for a dying mother etc kinda derailed things so I just said "oh well - story of my damn dating life" - emailed me today. Now, we have talked many times since we dated - and all he talks about is himself so I have kind of lost interest. I am empathetic to the aging parent thing, i really am, but... there is more I want to discuss if you know what I mean.

I really couldn't understand the main point of his email...lol... but he did mention among other things that I am "fine" and have very pretty eyes and he claimed he could not resist mentioning perfect breasts... HA. Thank you Dr Sauceda.... and this guy hasn't even actually SEEN them...lol. What pleases me the most is that to my eye they are natural and proportionate looking you know what i mean - like I coulda/shoulda been born with em!

I am not going to worry about what he was really trying to tell me as I think it was just a bunch of excuses about life being busy - which is cool - but if you don't have time to date me then just leave me be....

Sigh. works sucks today.

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Wow!

Yes, Sheryl is right, Bill is not the drunk. Keith is the drunk. The only reason I want to Keith is because he knows something about my husband's accident and I want to talk to him about it. A crane just doesn't fall on a person ou tof the blue.Plus he's fun to danc with,

Bill- IS PERFECT!

He is a retired English teacher, and just moved here from northern CA. He did have a gF when we first met., and asked if we could see each othe as friends. I decided his relationship probably would not last anyway, so I have been a good ear while he talked about why it wasn't working. He finally broke up with her.

Last night he came over after we had dinner together, he came in to watch tv and he was very snuggly and cuddly. He's never been like that before. I am so afraid. I've enjoyed his friendship so much, even though the whole time I wanted to grab him. I don't know what is going to happen.

I feel like I am not good enough because the first line in his profile is he is hoping someone with matched intellect. He has a masters degree and I never went to college. If this does not work out, I will be beyond heartbroken. I am just going to take things slow and easy cause he hated that the last one was clingy.

Still 135 this morning.

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