gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[UK Cathy 977]

Just back from work and I have had a really good fast day, I have even just had a hot chocolate drink to finish off the night.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

You don't get back fat / skin with that?

My EX is my ex sig other - and yes he is STILL in my house and I am losing faith that this will end anytime soon...sigh. He has some serious emotional/mental issues that I never really understood until recently. IT is so sad.

Why yes I do! I plan on wearing some shrug thing... I don't wear my upper arms out anyway.... But the waist... will look fantastic!

I think it might be time for some tough love for the ex... it will be hard for him, but perhaps the push he needs to get his life started over...which he needs to do. When my ex and I finally split, it was so painful... but him saying he never wanted to hear from me again was actually a good thing in the end. I would never have really split if that was not the case... I was really attached. It took a couple of years to get my shite together, but I went on to have many adventures and lovers that never might have happened other wise.

[Georgia 2,908]

Well, finishing strong on first fast at 559! I'll take it. I REALLY wanted to consume a lot more cals today! . Hopefully, the scale will reward me in the morning. Good night, ally peeps!! sleep tight.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I am going to SF on Thursday, so will fast tomorrow. Did fine fasting yesterday, and not to shabby today. I have my 3 year checkup in Feb, and really want to hit the bottom of my goal range by then if possible..... Want to show off! The last time I was there for a checkup, they said that many of the sleeve people were disappointed with the sleeve... I wonder that that meant! I will ask more questions this time and see what others are saying....I'm guessing that I might be a big success around there! Before I got the surgery they asked me if I would be happy losing 50 pounds ... and I said yes, but would rather lose 90... so here I am!

Edited January 15, 2014 by feedyoureye

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

FYE-you will look smashing in that corset. I just need one that opens wide enough that my upper body skin can be poured into. Haha. Forgive me for forgetting about wearing a shrug..I was same way about my arms. I must say I don't even try to hide my scars... I love my arms now and it is weird that I sorta forgot how I was.

My surgeon's office has a lot of sleeve success stories. I personally think it is because they were a bit of a lapband production shop...Haha..and figured out the insane support the band needs and applied much of that to the sleeve. You show em how it's done! Wish I was visiting SF.

Second session with trainer and I hate that guy. Really I think he is working me too hard. Every mini muscle hurts right now. I suspects he mistakes my dogged determination for actual fitness. Damn. Worst part is I have been dying of hunger all evening. I don't know how to eat with this work load. I worked out alot before but this is sucking the life energy out of me.

I feel so good that I concentrated better at work than I have in ages. If I can just keep this up....

I am still astounded at the number of people on mood related drugs. I guess that our brains still think we are being chased by saber tooth tigers when in reality we just hate paperwork and other routine miseries in life.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

FYE-you will look smashing in that corset. I just need one that opens wide enough that my upper body skin can be poured into. Haha. Forgive me for forgetting about wearing a shrug..I was same way about my arms. I must say I don't even try to hide my scars... I love my arms now and it is weird that I sorta forgot how I was.

I was thinking I would "tuck it in" around the sides and back . That corset hooks in the front, and laces in the back, so you can start lose and then tighten it up. I think at that price, you should get one and try it out! They have directions on how to measure to get the best fit.... and 4 sizes left...

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Denise - I want to go to Germany so that I can be officially medically released from this job, so that I can get official documentation of my MS, so that I can eventually try to (successfully) apply for SSD.

SherylJane - The ex is floundering, and you know what happens - panicked people/horses, will pull someone down with them in their self-interested terror. I chuckled at your description of the trainer and what he's doing to you, abs day was three days ago, yet I sneezed this morning and yelped from the pain Last night I was particularly emotional and welled up during an exercise (it was arms day) I could feel all the fear/anxiety/helplessness/frustration just bubble up and had to blink back tears. We barely made it out to the sidewalk afterward before he wrapped me in a hug and cuddled me into calmness, it may have lasted 5 minutes or 15, I have no idea, I sort of went into a fugue state.

Kim - my jealousy is simply seething! Please take pics and post them so I can live vicariously!

Saw CLK on another thread, AND lilmissdiva, AND BritishJane, woohoo!!

I think that article about the Welsh woman with MS who ended her life affected me more than I realized yesterday, she was my age exactly when she was Dxd.

Wanda - Hurrah! pushin' through the gate, begon stubborn pounds!

BTW - does anyone here know how to negotiate for a salary? I've never had to do that before. A start-up in Seattle wants me, but doesn't have much money yet...

[M2G 1,836]

Wow, a lot going on here. OD, I have no idea how to remember everything, I just comment on what I can and a lot of times I miss stuff but it's better than opening 20 multiquote windows. I just go from memory.

Chimera...so sorry about the job loss. It's so hard when that happens. When it happened to me, I decided to go back to school and learn about web design. Now that I'm nearly done with that (Spring 2014 I will have my "certificate of web tools") I've been looking for jobs and ZERO interest. Lots of NOs, and "we'll keep your info on file" blah blah blah. So it's going to be an epic battle to find a job in my career field which is why i jokingly think I should just go back to doing art for arts sake.

Sheryl, I *try* not to fast on my 2 hour workout days. You are right, I'm with a trainer 2x a week for an hour each and directly after being pushed to my limits (that is what trainers do...lol) I go and take spin for an hour from someone who is a regular OUTDOOR BIKING ENTHUSIAST...oy vey. Like for her a "relaxing" weekend is a 2 day race/ride in which she will place in the upper part of her division. She pushes us really hard too. SO yeah, I try not to fast on those day but I can and I have and sometimes I will, but usually not. And this is totally just a side note, I've never been on any type of medication or anti-depressant, etc. I'll be 42 on Friday and I don't know if it's just because I'm normally a glass is half-full type of person or what. I do very much believe that some people have a chemical imbalance, and I honestly think that drugs are VERY appropriate for many people. It's probably not easy finding the right "mix" of what works because it's probably like trying to treat obesity...there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to treating chemical imbalances, etc. in people. I like to think that I'm an eternal optimist, always looking for the sun shining behind the clouds, but I certainly have my days that are filled with more clouds than sun, but I guess I'm always trying to chase that sun...

Dee, any news on your place? How are you doing?

FYE- OMG that ball sounds like so so so much fun! I love the corset idea, hey it will prob. keep you from eating too much, ha ha! What a fun and interesting thing to get an invite to go to. LOVE IT! Please take many pics, maybe consider getting a small point and shoot camera, or even just pics with your cell will work for me. lol nothing fancy, just want to "see" and "live" it through your lens...

Sarah, how are you feeling? You are so good about responding to everyone, I always enjoy reading your posts because you always summarize everything so nicely.

GT, wow, that article...wow. Hugs to you. I'm glad you are getting some real-life hugs from your "gentlemen caller" but am I the only one who is sad that he has "someone back home" agreement or not about relations whilst deployed...I'm a hopeless romantic and I hate to see something be 100% purely physical. In fact, I don't think I could do that. That is just me though, I feel everything with my head, my body, my heart and I can't separate them. So part of me wants to believe that the "someone back home" is also out dating and finding connections with other people so that you could take this relationship to a deeper level.... When do you know for sure about leaving? Is it your call alone or is there more to it?

Georgia, I need your strength and resolve. I keep "trying" to fast and doing a half-a$$ job at it. WHERE DID MY MOJO GO?

Remember when my surgeon saw me in Oct and said "let's lose -10lbs by Jan and get you thinking about something other than your weight?"
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I think I have an appt scheduled next week to see him. Planning to cancel it. Why pay $120 to go see that at best I've maintained over the holidays and at worst be up a few lbs? I love the intent behind his comment but I can't shake the feeling that I will NEVER be able to NOT think about my weight. Ugh.

And I'm circling back around to the possibility of plastics again. Sigh. I saw a PS in May 2013 and practically ran screaming away at the thought of spending so much and having so much work done. But when I see myself at the gym, it is hard to know about the skin, extra rolls of fat, etc. I keep asking myself WOULD I want to spend the $$$$ and time recovering and the scars to maybe still end up in the same size jeans that I'm currently in (size 12?) Would I be happy or disappointed? I think that might be a very real possibility that I could go through all that and still end up basically the same size with less fat rolls, etc. Ugh. Just don't know. I do know that I would need another consult with a DIFFERENT Plastic Surgeon because I really didn't jive well with the one I saw. SIgh.

I am determined to FAST TODAY! JUST GOTTA DO IT!!!!

[M2G 1,836]

Oh and WANDA...shout out ... woo hoo, the scale is moving for ya!

[Georgia 2,908]

I broke the barrier this morning. 139.6! ????????. I'm already past my original goal and newly set goal (150 and 140). Thinking 135 my new target which would be a really good place for me health wise. Chart wise for my height 5'7 1/2-8" 133-150 medium frame is range. My BMI is 21.5. Next goal get body fat calculated and within healthy range (if not). waist to hip ratio is right on the line for low risk-cardiovascular- and I want it reduced this year also.

I just really don't want to do all this and not be healthy too. Looks is one thing-heart disease and diabetes is another!!!!!

Way to go, Everyone! I'll admit it's been a challenge to give up the junk the last few weeks and if I give in, I'll be right back to old patterns.

Wanda, woo hoo! Come on, M2G, harness all that workout discipline and hit your fast!!

Kim, I cannot wait to see you in your corset!!!!!!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Kim - my jealousy is simply seething! Please take pics and post them so I can live vicariously!

BTW - does anyone here know how to negotiate for a salary? I've never had to do that before. A start-up in Seattle wants me, but doesn't have much money yet...

I will take pics for sure. Put it on your bucket list and we will go together when you are in the states!...and.......job offer?!!! Thats a good sign! I am not the person to ask about negotiation for salary... it appears I will work for nothing if I like it and am pretty much always broke!

Wow, a lot going on here. OD, I have no idea how to remember everything, I just comment on what I can and a lot of times I miss stuff but it's better than opening 20 multiquote windows. I just go from memory.

FYE- OMG that ball sounds like so so so much fun! I love the corset idea, hey it will prob. keep you from eating too much, ha ha! What a fun and interesting thing to get an invite to go to. LOVE IT! Please take many pics, maybe consider getting a small point and shoot camera, or even just pics with your cell will work for me. lol nothing fancy, just want to "see" and "live" it through your lens...

Remember when my surgeon saw me in Oct and said "let's lose -10lbs by Jan and get you thinking about something other than your weight?"

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I think I have an appt scheduled next week to see him. Planning to cancel it. Why pay $120 to go see that at best I've maintained over the holidays and at worst be up a few lbs? I love the intent behind his comment but I can't shake the feeling that I will NEVER be able to NOT think about my weight. Ugh.

I am determined to FAST TODAY! JUST GOTTA DO IT!!!!

You must have a great short term memory!

Phone Camera! I had forgotten about that... thats a great Idea! Will fit in a tiny beaded purse too.... with the lipstick and monocle!

I'm going in for my 3 year check up in Feb. hope to be at my personal goal/low end by then... but the RN that saw me last time gave me a goal of 160 and that ain't going to happen, probably EVER. The doc and nut never gave me a goal...I'm going to see her again this time...

Hi everyone else, you all have a great day!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

ok, you enablers, I am getting ready to buy that corset...haha. No idea why i need a corset, but clearly I do!

My waist is 30" which puts me in a 26

My bust is 40" which puts me in a 30

My hips are 38" which puts me in a 28

They have a 26 or 30 available - with it lacing up the back will I be okay going with a 26? I am worried if i go up to the 30 I won't get the small waist effect.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

m2g... I have always been pretty optimistic too. I have lost some of that, I think it is a bit of a midlife crisis. I always had that basic belief that life just gets better and better, good things are always around the corner, counting my blessings not my problems...etc. Well, the last few months I have been facing the whole "this is as good as it gets" kind of feeling. I have a GREAT life in so many ways, but there is a certain sadness that I am getting old, my kids have left me and I don't feel a strong attachment to anyone that I see regularly. I am attached to my friend Mary - don't get me wrong, I feel things for other people, but a little part of me is feeling quite detached from that deep deep involvement that as a parent and wife I thought i had. Life just changes is all.

I had my first plastics consult in Jan 2013 - I felt like I needed a sedative after it was awful. I had several more consults and eventually got over the trauma of the "idea" of plastics. First time someone mentioned lower body lift I almost threw up. Really, I had a hard time getting used to the idea.

I have to say one of the most obvious benefits of plastics is I go to the gym, workout with a trainer and feel absolutely zero self conscious about my arms and tummy the two areas that showed through even in clothes before. I can do planks and pushups without that HUGE hanging thing that frankly reminded me of a dairy cow's utters... just the hanging skin when i did those moves. I am flat as a damn board now even in the plank position and it feels good. Is it worth it, yeah... but it seriously disrupted my life. It has also made quite a difference on how attractive i am to the opposite sex. This one I struggle with a little bit because they ain't seeing me nekkid or anything and at least in my eyes, my Shapewear covered that skin before so I am unclear how it is "they" seem to notice such a difference. My friend Mary tells me my entire profile has changed since plastics - sorta that overall reduction makes me look alot younger. I actually think that might be it - since plastics i have a more youthful looking body which attracts men whether they realize why or not. It isn't any one element of the surgery, it is the overall effect.

Florinda, I am terrible at negotiating salaries and the like. Startups are often cash poor and so it is a typical delima. Have you googled some articles on this? The old fall back was to negotiate for alot of stock or options - worthless if the company fails but potentially very enriching. NOt sure what the current thinking on this is but Seattle is still a land of startups and risky type ventures like this. This is a very exciting prospect! Be sure to let me know if you come to the area to check things out/interview and I will show you around town a little!

Besides the too hard workout - never did hear advice on appetite control after that - yesterday was an awesome day. I am actually not too sore this morning so maybe he didn't actually kill me.. the little bastard. ha.

The first component of my six weeks back to sanity is to actually sleep.< /p>

So, I am doing melatonin, starting with small dose to minimize side effects, taking HTP5 and fish oil (which i was already supposed to be doing). For my wakeup at 1am (used to be 3 am, moving up I guess) I take benedryl. Reason is it knocks me out but doesn't leave me groggy. this is a short term plan to try to get my sleep cycles back to normal. YDay morning I awoke exhausted today I woke tired, but before the alarm and I felt like I actually slept. Keep fingers crossed for me on this. I am also going to bed extra early to allow more time for the middle of the night wakeups and STILL actually sleep.

The next component is anxiety control. What I am finding is that being slightly less sleep deprived AND knowing what is setting of my anxiety is making that do-able. I feel alot better than I did 2 weeks ago, we shall see.

I feel a little lonely right now, but, also kinda wanting to hermit up. I am now "seeing" my personal trainer twice a week and take a riding lesson once a week and go to happy hour once a week with my best friend (and a little crowd we know at our bar...lol) PLUS other activities so I can hardly say I am really lonely.

I met someone on a dating website a little while ago. Well, we actually started talking over a month ago but have only met once. Other than him as a prospect - that is all on hold for now. I would have just dropped him too, time to focus on me, but he is the rare "fish" that I am super attracted to. He is amazing looking, tall, dark haired, very young looking 50, works in construction. Very outgoing, conversant and just has an attractive way about him. I didn't even realized how attracted I was until I realized I was actually a little nervous on our initial meeting. We hit it off and I have been a little bit... well this isn't my normal character... but i have been a little bit of a game player on this one. What I mean by that is I took a guess that he would be more interested in the jeans and long sleeve tshirt girl - and yep, my casual first meeting attire was a turn on for him. I happen to be taking a gun safety class this coming weekend which I of course mentioned as a reason to not be available for a particular date time - I knew this guy from Alaska is a hunter/fisher and that can be a turn off for urban women so he loved it that I am not rabidly anti-gun. He kinda goofed up last weekend and didn't come through on "loose plans" we had made but I decided to give him one more chance after his apologies and explaining some details around what happened. Seeing him on thursday - we shall see.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

ok, you enablers, I am getting ready to buy that corset...haha. No idea why i need a corset, but clearly I do!

My waist is 30" which puts me in a 26

My bust is 40" which puts me in a 30

My hips are 38" which puts me in a 28

They have a 26 or 30 available - with it lacing up the back will I be okay going with a 26? I am worried if i go up to the 30 I won't get the small waist effect.

go for the 26, the bust and hips can expand a bit no problem,

So, I am doing melatonin, starting with small dose to minimize side effects, taking HTP5 and fish oil (which i was already supposed to be doing). For my wakeup at 1am (used to be 3 am, moving up I guess) I take benedryl. Reason is it knocks me out but doesn't leave me groggy. this is a short term plan to try to get my sleep cycles back to normal. YDay morning I awoke exhausted today I woke tired, but before the alarm and I felt like I actually slept. Keep fingers crossed for me on this. I am also going to bed extra early to allow more time for the middle of the night wakeups and STILL actually sleep.

The next component is anxiety control. What I am finding is that being slightly less sleep deprived AND knowing what is setting of my anxiety is making that do-able. I feel alot better than I did 2 weeks ago, we shall see.

I am working on my sleep too... Im afraid there is not too much I can do as long as I am ruled by my little dog Sukie... when she says she needs to go out, I get up and let her out... which included at least one 3-5AM back yard call. She is getting so old, she sometimes forgets to scratch the door and just goes on the floor, and other times forgets why she scratched on the door. I don't know how long she will be around, and she is my little sweetheart granny dog, so I will let her out any damed time she wants. Im lucky to still have her. I also can use my fitbit to see my sleeping patterns, I haven't used it lately for that, but it is interesting to see how many times i wake up and REALLY wake up, get up.... around 4-7 times a night last time I checked...

I have had a lot of anxiety lately... I don't drink coffee, have even cut out regular tea... but still have a chocolate fix every evening... I'm thinking that might be contributing to my problem.... So every other night I cut out the chocolate... hope that is enough, would really be sad if the chocolate has to go.... I also find mixing a couple of Tablespoons of Nutritional yeast in a glass of Water and swigging it down helps cut the anxiety down pretty quickly. You might give that a try... lots of b vitamins....

Edited January 15, 2014 by feedyoureye

[Chimera 644]

Good to hear that LV is okay - I rarely check out other forums since I have been a part of our little group here so I am always out of the loop with what is going on- same way in life too haha!

Been having good workouts this week - my fasting days have been a tiny bit shaky - its really been a challenge to not go over 500 the last few weeks - but is it pretty clear how detrimental the whole holiday feasting thing is. The carb detoxing makes me feel better every day thank goodness.

On the work front I guess things remain to be seen - so I am going to do my best and realize that it is just my job - not my life - my health and my family and my own sanity are the most important things right? One good thing is that I have such a big teaching load this spring that I will generate a lot of income over the next few months.

Our wedding anniversary is this weekend and we did nave plans for a nice brunch at Salty's (a lovely spot on the Water here in Seattle) but have cancelled it because we have managed to score tickets to the Seahawks/49'ers NFC championship game! woohoo

As far as adding folks - I know Queen has been a round a long time, I have read her blog and she seems like she would be a great addition. With that said I think as far as newcomers, this group is really beyond just 5:2. As there is a thread on the main forum I think that is fine for discussing 5:2 issues.

Love you guys and I am off to buy cat food and look for some new tennis shoes.