gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

 

Florinda, I am so sorry to hear about your team leader. You have been through so much, and now  losing someone in your team. is just too much.

My thoughts are with you.

You can pm me if you're ready for me to start another care package.

 

Honestly I don't know how everyone is able to remember everyone's posts to comment on them. I am definitely going to have to take notes.  I wish there was a way to view the thread while you're posting. I don't know how to open two screens but I know it can be done.

 

Went out dancing last night with some girl friends. It was really fun. The band at the Casino was really good. I can't even believe I am still at 135 after the holidays. I have not been to the gym. I've been trying to be careful but I've definitely eaten a lot of junk.

 

I had to break someones heart that I met online. He lives pretty close and we met and I knew after meeting him there was no way I wanted a date with him. He sent me a message telling me how he could not wait to see me again. That is just as hard as when I really like someone and they don't have any interest in me.

 

Well the holidays are almost over so I hope that everyone  feels better when we start the New Year.

Hugs to all!

 

 

 

Denise, when you read a post, at the bottom of it there are two boxes. One says "MultiQuote", the other says "Quote". You can click on those and the post you are going to reply to will show up in the box when you are ready to type your reply.

Click on Multiquote when you are done reading each reply and this will show you more than one reply at a time. Or click on "Quote" like I did and your post showed up above what I am writing.

Does this make sense?

Yes. I knew how to quote but I never really knew what multiqoute was. Thank you!

 

Edited December 30, 2013 by Oregondaisy

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Globe so much to bare. So sorry to hear about the loss of a person close to u I know it must be hard but stay strong. I don't know where u draw your strength but I am sending cyber prayers for peace and strength. I have drawm my line in the sand. Feast is over and I am fasting today. Today starts my road back to normal. Everyone send me some cyber strength. Gotta start the carb withdrawl. Cold turkey is the best way right?

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I am fasting today as well.. cold turkey is probably best, I have been doing a "lower and lower" plan (because I have been eating the leftovers instead of throwing them out!) so eating small portions until gone.. they are pretty much gone, so I should be pretty good today. Hoping no one at work brings temptation..... I am in for a good fast day though too! Cyber thoughts your way!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Holy crap - I am really swollen up. My belly is tight and the scale said 155# this morning - yikes!

I didn't eat enough to gain 5#, so I know it is the Fluid retention but i don't like it at all. I put on compression garments and am going to watch the sodium today. I think my body is telling me that ski lesson #2 was too much, so I am waiting a few weeks before trying again.

I want to talk about a serious subject - medication for anxiety.

So, I was seeing a counselor and we were doing a technique called lifespan integration. You don't talk about your issues, but the counselor leads you through what i consider a guided meditation and your own mind works on your "issues". Sounds bogus, but I actually found it seriously intense and had to stop it in the couple months prior to my surgery as it was amping my anxiety. Post op, I felt to weak to resume it, so I had thought to start again in January. My gut feeling is that this therapy will work since sections we worked on I feel better about when I reflect on it (relating to some childhood self loathing issues)

My PCP wanted to medicate me for anxiety pre plastic surgery but I refused and the counselor advised waiting and seeing a psychiatrist rather then having a PCP manage those kind of meds - but counselor also advised just giving it time as she really didn't think I needed meds and that it was normal to feel anxious. One of the problems I had is that I never allowed myself alot of uncomfortable feelings in the past - buried them with food and weight. Now, I don;t do that so it is like every emotion is in technicolor compared to how I was used to feeling them.

Okay, it is almost January. I am not feeling as even as I would like, I feel anxiety more than I think I should. I experienced a mid level panic attack during my second ski lesson (meaning, I wasn't paralyzed by it, but it impacted me). Part of me wants to find a magic pill to fix this, to just feel good all the time, but I don't think that is realistic. I also had a very bad experience of going on a anti-depressant drug after my mom died and it creating nasty side effects (this was managed by my former PCP). I am a little scared of those drugs because what I found after mom died was that I was better off with NO anti-depressant versus the one they put me on.

Anyway, I am uncertain about going down this path and not even sure I have a realistic view of whether it is the right way to go or not. I admit it, I am afraid of all those kind of drugs changing my brain, perhaps causing me to regain weight, or causing me to lose sexual response etc - all the stuff those brain drugs seem to do to people. I never took HRT for menopause, I am just the type that would rather not medicate if there are any viable options.

[sarsar 824]

Brown and Kim, I'm fasting today, too. We can do it! So much junk the last couple of days...yuck! I will feel better tomorrow after this fast day is over is what I keep telling myself.

[Georgia 2,908]

On 27th December, my team leader died suddenly, early in the morning, at the gym. He was a very good man, honorable, loved his family deeply. After losing my own Father last year around this time, Larry became my surrogate Father, easing the transition of grief, but here I am, again, in pain and grief. I escorted his body to the main hub.

Oh my goodness! How traumatic for all of you there and at The holidays. Bless your heart, Florinda! So sad for you.

[sarsar 824]

SherylJane, I have some initial thoughts on your post but I want to think about it a little before I reply.

[Georgia 2,908]

Globe so much to bare. So sorry to hear about the loss of a person close to u I know it must be hard but stay strong. I don't know where u draw your strength but I am sending cyber prayers for peace and strength. I have drawm my line in the sand. Feast is over and I am fasting today. Today starts my road back to normal. Everyone send me some cyber strength. Gotta start the carb withdrawl. Cold turkey is the best way right?

Pretty much the only way for me! . Or else I will just continue to nibble

[Georgia 2,908]

Brown and Kim, I'm fasting today, too. We can do it! So much junk the last couple of days...yuck! I will feel better tomorrow after this fast day is over is what I keep telling myself.

Add me to the list! Drinking SF got cider as we speak!!

[Georgia 2,908]

SherylJane, I think it comes down to YOU and your choices. I will be honest and tell you that I went BACK on a very low dose anti-depressant last month.

I took it for a few years and stopped after surgery thinking I was gonna "conquer the world". Well, I did conquer the WLS but found that I simply needed the additional help for me AND my family!

Also, I have absolutely NO HORMONES at all and the low dose helps me. My husband/daughter begged me for months to go back to Dr but I refused. Anger, self rejection, very short fuse, depression. And I thought I should be able to pull myself up so to speak. Oh, also anxiety. So after talking with my Dr and basically telling him the situation, he agreed.

I truly feel that "life" wore me out. We dealt with so much severe trauma, anxiety and sheer fear with circumstances concerning both of our children that I just became depleted. For me, it just allows me the "okay, I can do this" or "this will pass" feeling instead of the "what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do, what....." Feeling.

I know some might not agree but at my age, I choose to have the help it provides. Not that I never feel anxious or depressed now- I do but not the bottomless pit kind. .

Hope that helps.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Sheryl I agree with Georgia. There is such a major chemical imbalance going on in our brains from past traumas and the surgeries, fast weight loss etc. There is nothing wrong with having a medication for anxiety as needed. If it's an antidepressant, it will help increase the seretonin or other neurotransmitters that is out of whack........ I for one do not like being anxious and recently found myself diagnosing myself with a generalized anxiety disorder.....LOL But I will take a xanax as needed or I do take a valium to help me sleep when needed. These are tools that help us cope with everyday life.....

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

My incisions are aching. I know I way over did it that I am still tired from Friday. Oh well, looks like no damage was really done, but it was a reality check on my physical and mental state I guess.

I am going to spend a few more weeks working out before trying skiing again. Only one nearby ski resort is even open - the one closest to Seattle only has 11" of snow and so hasn't opened (usually opens late Nov/early Dec) so may not be much of snow year. That one has more flat terrain and I think less stressful place for me to learn. Maybe February?

Georgia - thank you for your input and sharing your experience. I don't so much get the anger or short fuse - or maybe I hide it. For me, it manifests in anxiety and it is generally invisible to people unless they either know me well or understand anxiety. When I was doing that ski lesson the instructor saw that as I got worried (basically that long ski lift ride because they stop it everytime someone falls off - which on the beginner lift is often)... and then of course I fell exiting the lift.... and the mountain looked really really steep. He saw that I was physically doing things wrong that I had done fine on a shallower hill - so he recognized that I was panicking. It was very helpful that he understood I just needed to go really slow. He helped me some privately after everybody else left - damn shoulda got his number he was pretty cute and probably only 10 years older then me...haha.

Anyway, what bothers me is that I go from feeling pretty good, pretty happy, to just feeling semi-paralyzed - this cycles pretty damn fast. I use posting on this board to be doing "something" when I should be doing real things but am stuck.

Well, most docs won't prescribe xanax for an ongoing situation. It works great - just a tiny dose takes that edge off. No, my doc gave me some for dealing with surgery, but ongoing she wants me to take a daily scrip that works different. It is the daily scrip that scares me - i would be happy if I could get xanax for using say 1-3x times a week when I just get wound up.

So, Saturday night I had the fun happy hour outing and met new friends (friends of my good friend Mary). Then, I was supposed to go on a date with someone I had met some months ago and have seen a few times. Well, I was running like 5 minutes early so called him just to check in and he was really irritable with me and told me that he couldn't meet for another hour. I just turned and went home. Found out later that he was still at work (he works as consultant in hospitatlity so weirdo hours) and I caught him at a really bad time. anyway, I didn't mind that someone's work day went bad and they needed more time to finish up, but I had zero tolerance for that annoyed tone with me. I reflect that I probably over-reacted. I think we are all good now, but we shall see. nice guy, don't really see a future with him so no biggie either way but I am trying to learn from all this. I think as a formerly obese person I am aware of needing to "stand up for myself" and not be walked on just because i am the fat chick, but flip side is that I really am an understanding person and shocked myself that I just said "screw that" and left.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Globe so much to bare. So sorry to hear about the loss of a person close to u I know it must be hard but stay strong. I don't know where u draw your strength but I am sending cyber prayers for peace and strength. I have drawm my line in the sand. Feast is over and I am fasting today. Today starts my road back to normal. Everyone send me some cyber strength. Gotta start the carb withdrawl. Cold turkey is the best way right?

Wanda you can do this! I''m waiting until after the holidays to get back to basics and detox from the carbs. My daughter just had a birthday and we all went out to dinner. I had everything planned until Lucille's Smokehouse had a 2 hour wait and we decided to go to a Mexican restaurant. I couldn't resist the tortilla chips and salsa. So tomorrow is New Years Eve and I will try to be good......

 

Happy NEW YEAR's EVERYOne......

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I am going to fast today too. I am up a lb and I don't like that at all. It was probably from that salty movie theater popcorn.< /p>

I found another guy online that's only 50 miles away and he's very interested.

We are going to talk on the phone tonight.

I am really looking forward to seeing Nex soon. I haven't been able to talk to him since he went to colorado for the holidays.

I don't know if I posted this already. I met a guy who I knew I could never date. Then I got an email from him that he couldn't wait to see me again.''

Rejecting someone and telling them that wish them luck but didn't feel like we are a good match. Online dating sucks . All I want to do is meet one guy. That should not be this hard.

[Georgia 2,908]

I am going to fast today too. I am up a lb and I don't like that at all. It was probably from that salty movie theater popcorn. I found another guy online that's only 50 miles away and he's very interested. We are going to talk on the phone tonight. I am really looking forward to seeing Nex soon. I haven't been able to talk to him since he went to colorado for the holidays. I don't know if I posted this already. I met a guy who I knew I could never date. Then I got an email from him that he couldn't wait to see me again.'' Rejecting someone and telling them that wish them luck but didn't feel like we are a good match. Online dating sucks . All I want to do is meet one guy. That should not be this hard.

As my husband says, "there are some scary people out there!" Ha!!!