gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[sarsar 824]

I went to the federal SSDI page to begin the process, but couldn't bring myself to do it because, it would mean admitting that this is affecting me, that I am being disabled by this, and that is so very upsetting...

Ouch...this must really hurt your heart. I am so sorry. Hugs to you. You will get through this even though, I am sure, there are times you don't know how, but you will. We are all here for you. Hang in there. You are on my mind today...

I want to comment on exercise and weight loss. In the short term, exercise seldom helps you lose weight because your muscles hold on to Water weight. Everybody says the thing about muscle weighing more than fat... well... it is true that a muscular person will fit into a smaller size at the same weight but it takes a long time to build that muscle. What it is is water weight that people see on the scale. It is still worth doing though. I personally respond very well to vigorous excercise but there is something about my body ... not everybody does. I think we all need to find out own way - many people do much better on less excertion and just walking is healthier for them. I was warned this by my NUT that for some people, hard exercise makes them eat more and so defeats that particular purpose. High intensity is also a physical stressor - that is how you get stronger - you put your system in managable distress and it rebuilds stronger. I think it is important to think about that - does this activity take away from my energy or add to it? Holiday times intense exercise might make us feel better OR it might be just one more drain on our reserves that we don't need.

I agree with this 100%! Any exercise is worth doing. Find what works for you and stick to it. It's the same with losing weight, even with the sleeve, what works for one person might not work for the next.

I also think it's important to measure yourself. Brown, I was thinking about this for you. Take some measurements and see how many inches you lose after a few weeks. Even if there isn't a number on the scale, I bet you will see lost inches. Any exercise is better than no exercise!

Laura, glad to hear you heard from Cheri and that she'll be back! We all need a break once in a while.

I'm fasting today. I actually feels good after having a few days of treats and not watching closely what I was eating. I worked out this morning and it just feels good to be back in the swing of things!

Happy Monday Ladies!

[coops 1,790]

Cathy, good to hear from you and coolio re the new low - chuffed to bean m'love!  Sounds like you are going to have a stressful new year, but pleased to hear that you are going to stay put for chrimbo and enjoy it in you current home.  Glad that MIL is doing well in her new place, it is a massive upheaval for her, but I am sure with your support she'll be fine.

Talking of support, whilst all this is going on around you, I hope you are looking after yourself and well as your family... you know where I am if you need me... x

 

GT - Oh man!  I wish there was something I could do for you to help ease the situation.  I know you will just 'get on with it' 'cos that is what you do - you are a fighter and one hell of a determined lady, I just want to take some pressure away for you!  I often think of you... and send good welsh vibes your way.  Hang in there my friend, if you need to vent, you know where I am...x 

[Georgia 2,908]

Okay, Kim. Thought of you when I saw this Winter Vegetable and SPELT soup! Looks yummy.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Okay, Kim. Thought of you when I saw this Winter Vegetable and SPELT soup! Looks yummy.

that does look good!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

figuring out how to get myself to Germany, easier said than done but it is (as they say in the Army) my one meter target. I have some lines out, to find housing, a job, etc. The school in Seattle is Antioch and I found a great place to live BUT it is 30 min away from downtown. I am old enough that I really don't want a roommate, plus I would like to get a companion animal/therapy dog.

The quote I have lived by since I was 21 is, "First, say to yourself what you would be, then, do what you have to do" -Epictetus.

The other school I want is just outside Portland OR, in Forest Grove.

I was incredibly down yesterday, seeing the therapist depresses me, and I didn't just fall off the cliff of food, I took a running leap - a bag of popcorn, the chocolate shell to an ice cream bar, a chocolate chip cookie, and half a corn dog. Total damage for the day - over 1300cals v_v. No wonder I am fatigued to the bone today.

My forgetfulness is the most terrifying thing... I left my shower kit in the showers yesterday and didn't think twice about it, until today after insanity when I couldnt find it. Luckily it was in the showers, but somebody had stolen my very precious face wash. This sort of thing is not normal for me, and this is just one example, it is happening a lot and it is terrifying.

I am focused on my health, what I eat, I guess I will have to look myself in the eye and have a little talk, and then square my shoulders and apply for SSDI, go to Germany, tell my Mother, set a course for taking the prereq classes, and find a job.

I love all of you.

Edited December 10, 2013 by Globetrotter

[UK Cathy 977]

Globe, you seem to have a good positive plan, well done and good luck.

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Globe keep doing u! its working. The forgetfulness may come from so much u have on your mind. So many things u have to sort out. The little things may slip through the cracks. Stay strong

[feedyoureye 3,087]

...the forgetfulness may also be from eating so few calories girl! Upside, living in Portland or Seattle would give you absolutely great food choices, great farmers markets, therapies and such. Following your plan will make you feel so  much more powerfull! 

[swizzly 901]

GT...listen to me. I'm not undergoing as much current medical stress as you, for sure. Yet I am also in f*cking sh*theaps of stress and I'm OVERWHELMED much of the time. I have found myself forgetting all sorts of things, including whole conversations with colleagues at work, meetings, deliverables. It SUCKS. But I put it down mostly to stress and hope that it will pass. Unless we KNOW otherwise, let's assume you're super stressed and forgetful too. Don't let it 'haunt' you as being more than that -- remember Occam's Razor! When you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras...

Love you back!! xoxox

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

swizz, I was thinking the same thing. When I am massively stressed I do too things - forget/absentminded - I totally forgot an i portant work meeting when I was in the final decision of splitting with my ex for example. Second thing is I am clumsy and have little accidents. I dented my cute lil mini cooper the day I did finally break it off with my ex for example... but i also do things like stumble and have other small mishaps. It is easy to attribute it to some larger thing, but, often it is STRESS.

Globe - Antioch is right downtown area - actually it is a neighbhorhood called Belltown that borders the downtown. No wonder everything is pricey; good news excellent bus service from many Seattle neighborhoods.

I am such a coward, there is a singled holiday cruise run by one of the speed dating companies and i just can't quite muster the courage to sign up. What is weird is that i am very outgoing but when it comes to the man/woman thing, i have fear of sitting alone in the corner or something.

I went on a few coffee dates - duds. Once again, they did tell me i am much hotter in person that my photos..haha. I think that is a nice way of saying i need better photos! I guess it is no surprise that men lie lie lie about their height. I am 5'5", wearing 2.5" heel I should not tower over someone who is 5'10". New math. I have decided to move the bar to 6' so maybe I can actually meet people who are 5'10". I wish I didn't care about sex otherwise i think I would just give up on finding someone to see. My "friend" is just never available - never in my life did I think it would be so hard to find a hot guy to have a fun based relationship with. I know it is because I am way too picky... I do that because i have a little worry of actually falling for some guy and damn it, he needs to have a good career and not be too weird and be attractive... and be not short. I could go on and on about my list of silly requirements that has me ruling out alot of perfectly cool guys... but for some reason, looks is important to me right now. It never used to be, midlife crisis maybe??? I am feeling a little wacky right now, sorry.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

oh and mr cook the bacon on fasting days is back at it. We have about another 6 weeks before he moves. I have moved to a zen state... I don't really crave bacon...no, a Protein Drink is just as good, right?

[M2G 1,836]

GT, I have hopes that things will sort out...you are so strong to be facing all of this. Not an easy task and as Dee said none of us are in your exact shoes and we ALL have stuff that falls through the cracks. I am a praying person and right now you are in my prayers that things will fall into place for you. 1,300 cals is nothing...you showed some control and restraint there...half a corn dog? You could have easily eaten the whole thing but you didn't. SO HANG IN THERE!!! Love you also chickee!

Yes to all who said FUDGE = CRACK totally 100%. I've been doing things like chewing gum while making it, so I won't be tempted to "lick the spoon" etc. But just being so immersed in chips, marshmallows, sugar, butter...ARGH! WHY AGAIN DID I SAY YES TO THOSE WHO ASKED FOR FUDGE? Next year I'm saying NO. Remind me of that in a year, k?

Cathy - hang in there, you are having your fair share of stress at the moment, keep looking for positives and bright spots! Hugs!

CGJ - Wow, sorry about the DUDS. Can I be honest with you? I wouldn't worry about the HEIGHT of a potential mate. I know it's easier said than done, but putting a height restriction on a someone...well, you might just miss out on someone who is fantastic because he doesn't fit on your "list". Look I like tall guys too, I'm 5'6" and yet when I met my husband he is all of 5'10"...there are days I feel as tall as he is if I have on heels and he is in socks. Or there are times when he has shoes on and I'm wearing flats or flip flops and I feel like he towers over me. I guess what I'm saying is definitely toss out the guys who don't fit in with the more IMPORTANT things on your list...like 1. treats me well, 2. has a good sense of humor 3. is on the same page with me from a mental standpoint, etc. But to just automatically discount someone because they aren't as tall as you like...well, kind of reminds me of the old Seinfeld things...man hands, she eats her peas too slow, her hair isn't the right color, etc. And you have admitted as much...you are picky...I'm not saying don't be picky. You should be picky...just don't get hung up on the wrong things.

Finally, thank you all for a sane place to come. I had to get out the boxing gloves for this showdown...just goes to show me I should just stay OUT of some threads. This one had me pretty teed off!

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/290025-my-surgeon-doesnt-require-a-pre-op-diet/

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

M2G, you know I think part of my picky obsession is sort of fear based... like.. I think I have settled to easily in the past? I probably don't even really care much about physical attributes but this online dating this is ridiculous... it's like shopping at Amazon.com - overwhelming number of choices (like i get 20 emails a day now I wold say) and yet none of them seem quite right. Well, maybe 1 out of 20 sounds great till I talk to them or meet them.... This is why I think I need to do more in person rather than online.... I think there is a more natural way to see if you are interested or have some sort of attraction, interest or spark. I haven't even reached the phase of "how do they treat me" - I am stuck on finding someone that I actually want to get to know. I am 49 and the vast majority of men in their 50s are old and sedentary... and that does not attract me.

i met someone last summer - before I put this on ice - that i liked alot. We still email but he seems non commital about actually going on a date and I am not sure his hesitation. He is probably just as stuck as me...

[feedyoureye 3,087]

some of the most attractive people I have met were not "good looking" . Attraction is often (for me) intellect, humor, adventuresome, and kindness. If that is there, the other things just fall to the background. I am 5'9", and tall is attractive to me in an animal way, but I need other things first. I would at least like someone who is as tall as me in flats. The heals are just a bonus. I don't like feeling "bigger" even if Im not that big now. 

[M2G 1,836]

M2G, you know I think part of my picky obsession is sort of fear based... like.. I think I have settled to easily in the past? I probably don't even really care much about physical attributes but this online dating this is ridiculous... it's like shopping at Amazon.com - overwhelming number of choices (like i get 20 emails a day now I wold say) and yet none of them seem quite right. Well, maybe 1 out of 20 sounds great till I talk to them or meet them.... This is why I think I need to do more in person rather than online.... I think there is a more natural way to see if you are interested or have some sort of attraction, interest or spark. I haven't even reached the phase of "how do they treat me" - I am stuck on finding someone that I actually want to get to know. I am 49 and the vast majority of men in their 50s are old and sedentary... and that does not attract me.

i met someone last summer - before I put this on ice - that i liked alot. We still email but he seems non commital about actually going on a date and I am not sure his hesitation. He is probably just as stuck as me...

You know what? I hadn't thought about the WAY that people actually date now. I met my husband when I was all of 20 years old (I will be 42 next month!)...before the internet really existed, and way way way before people met potential mates online. So I didn't consider that aspect of it being "like shopping at Amazon"...that actually has me giggling a bit, and I know this is a serious subject but wow, when you put it in terms like that. Like automatically my mind says "I would like to auto-build a man. He should be at least 6', broad shoulders, dark hair, green eyes, easy smile, (straight teeth please and none missing ...that just is NOT an option) and he should have a great sense of humor, and be good with kids, pets and older people."

OMG, if it could all just be THAT easy.

I don't mean to make light of your frustration, (so please don't be offended) but I do love the way you explain how it is. And I imagine like you said that is just the first step, never mind his education, his emotional (or G-forbid physical baggage) his family situation, or like you said even if HE WOULD treat you well if you actually GOT to that point. Bah, that is just enough to make a woman want to throw in the towel and sign off forever. Ugh!

And while I feel like I met and married my soul-mate, I had a couple of non-soul-mate relationships before meeting him and yep you are right, that fear of not choosing wisely. All I can say about that is you are NOT the same woman you were 10 or 20 years ago (heck probably not even the exact same person you were BEFORE surgery) so trust your instincts. At least you know what you DON'T like.