gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am on a roll this morning... posting away.

I went into the office yesterday. My size 8 slacks about fell off me - realized I haven't worn them since June... so either losing those last 8 pounds or plastics or both... maybe I do wear a six now - at least for some brands. I hate baggy butt and too loose of a waist pants!

A guy i work with his trying to get me to go to lunch with him. That is a normal activity, but we haven't worked TOGETHER in about 10 years so this is definately a social thing. He is fine, but I don't date people I work with AND I am not wowed by him either. Nice guy though so I did agree to coffee. Anyway, this is a brand NEW situation for me. I have worked there for 21 years and this is the first time I recall being pursued. Okay, after I got to about 170# I started getting the "oh wow, you look hot" but those were from friends/guys who meant it as a compliment and not looking for a date. I need to figure out how to nicely say.. not interested.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Interesting subject. My surgeon had 60 grams of Protein as the guideline when I had surgery, but on my 1 year he said alot of research indicates 80g is better. Remember, I was very high BMI, over 50 when I started this. People with that profile often don't get to normal BMI and are prone to regain so his thinking is narrow about how to maintain.

My thought is that i am at highest risk of regain in the first 5 years so I am personally staying very protein focused unless some really convincing evidence comes out.

Calories come from either protein, fat or carbs. I am already high protein, not afraid of fat and all that is left is to up the carbs. That is how i got obese in the first place... so not the best idea for me to increase carbs.

What is funny is that I had some stress eating yesterday and while the calories were fine, it was low protein and high carb and yet oddly the scaled dropped back down to 148.

I usually follow MFP suggested gms of nutrients, but often go over that on protein and Fiber, under on carbs (which is still a lot!) and usually right on the cals including the added exercise cals. I have MFP set on "sedentary" and "lose 1 pounds a week" then I also do the 5:2 twice a week, so with that I am pretty much staying at maintenance, maybe lose a little more over a long time frame....

Do Daisy - is today the big day of meeting Portland man?

I am somehow hesitant to actually DO this... to find something more meaningful (or at least have time for me!) I hate "dating" - the basic interview process - and have no idea how to spot alot of these attributes in advance.

I am married, and not on "the market" but I still think about what it would be like, approaching people with "relationship" in mind, and I really am at a loss too... I wasn't looking for a boyfriend when I met my current husband... I didn't sleep with him for around 4 months... that messes with my ability to be objective if I get into that too soon... we just went through a lot of adventures, and spent time with lots of other people most of the time, so I could get to know him in stressful and fun situations. We knew each other for two years before we talked about getting married (lived together for about a year). We were apart for a year as well, and had a long distance relationship by snail mail... sending mail art, and that was really fun. While he was in New Zealand for that year, I knew we would ether get married or split it. When he got back to the states, he asked me to marry him... if we were going to keep the relationship up, he needed to get his green card. So I took almost a month thinking about it, I could see there were things that were hard to deal with, and tried to be rational about the decision... not always my style in relationship at the time! The problems have never really changed for more than a week or two at a time. We have developed some ways to make it work most of the time. We have been married for almost 20 years.

[Georgia 2,908]

I usually follow MFP suggested gms of nutrients, but often go over that on Protein and fiber, under on carbs (which is still a lot!) and usually right on the cals including the added exercise cals. I have MFP set on "sedentary" and "lose 1 pounds a week" then I also do the 5:2 twice a week, so with that I am pretty much staying at maintenance, maybe lose a little more over a long time frame.... I am married, and not on "the market" but I still think about what it would be like, approaching people with "relationship" in mind, and I really am at a loss too... I wasn't looking for a boyfriend when I met my current husband... I didn't sleep with him for around 4 months... that messes with my ability to be objective if I get into that too soon... we just went through a lot of adventures, and spent time with lots of other people most of the time, so I could get to know him in stressful and fun situations. We knew each other for two years before we talked about getting married (lived together for about a year). We were apart for a year as well, and had a long distance relationship by snail mail... sending mail art, and that was really fun. While he was in New Zealand for that year, I knew we would ether get married or split it. When he got back to the states, he asked me to marry him... if we were going to keep the relationship up, he needed to get his green card. So I took almost a month thinking about it, I could see there were things that were hard to deal with, and tried to be rational about the decision... not always my style in relationship at the time! The problems have never really changed for more than a week or two at a time. We have developed some ways to make it work most of the time. We have been married for almost 20 years.

Love this, FYE! In this day and age few "make it work" at all. It is work. Not doubt about it. I love my guy and just celebrated FORTY years but I actually think this was one of our hardest because it was a big year of change on a lot of fronts.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Why oh why am I up a pound and a half?!!! I'm seriously considering stopping Insanity, I need to lose weight!!!!!!

I'm going to drop my Protein slightly and up my carbs ever so little and keep the calories super low even on feed days, and see what happens.

Brown - The only way I can make things happen anymore is with laxatives, be they natural herbs or Miralax, triple doses.

CGJ - Your description of your relationship with your non-boyfriend is a chapter straight out of my life, I had an identical situation with a much older man who made me feel exactly as you feel. He was truly an addiction, I truly craved him, and when he would call and I would hear his voice, a flood of pleasure rolled over my brain and if a day went by without hearing from him, I was in withdrawal. not good.

I know that doing the Insanity is good me emotionally, psychologically, and I am one of the lucky few who gets the endocannabinoid rush, but I will stop if it is halting my weight loss. I am still too far away from goal to level off.

Oh and CGJ - I know exactly what you mean about being cared for, I actually enjoyed most of my time when I was medevac'd to Germany for precisely those reasons. It makes me understand how people can become addicted to plastics or develop Munchausens.

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Jane, must be nice getting new attention, having men want to meet you.  I would think its exciting, cause you never know who your gonna meet. but then again a bit scary cause you never know who your gonna meet.  Do you meet more duds and thuds?  as for the guy sounds like you really want but may not be able to have.. my suggestion.. keep him in your life. You never know when he'll be ready to settle down.  you can maintain the relationship you've got going on and enjoy the benefits when they are available.. being loved and showered with attention from a person you like also.. hard to find.  I say hang in with him as a "side dish" until you find the remaining life partner your seeking.  I've been married for over 30 years.  We wont win any exciting marriage contest, but we are always there for each other.  CGJ I applaud for staying in the game.  Sounds like your keeping life interesting even though i'm sure it gets tiring trying to find the right guy to share your life with.  Well now you got the hot body that will help attract and you can do the choosing!!

[BrownDoesAll 409]

URGH!! Mrs IT Manager and I can't post a pic . I've tried three times . I am using more reply options, then browse to my pic , then attach.. seems right.. but when I hit post I get put into the main forum page. then I come back here and the post I was trying to do is gone. Oh Well. I was trying to show you ladies what I'm faced with daily as I go to the microwave to heat my Water for my daily Protein hot coco. Its a setup of chips, doritos, candy, Cookies, etc. You remember I took a stand and move the secondary assult area out of my daily walking view. I still manage to get past it daily, but its freaking hard when they add even more chocolate

[BrownDoesAll 409]

K one more try

[BrownDoesAll 409]

K I did it!.  One more post for the day.  After doing such a good job all week, I messed up my Thursday Fast Day.  I was doing so well. My company decided to have a 12 days of Christmas gift giving.  Yesterday was, you guessed it Chocolate!!. They gave out a Holiday greeting with a mint chocolate Christmas tree.  I started out strong. I asked the admin to hold mine until I was ready to leave for the day.  No way would I say "No Thanks" that would be rude right ( ha ha ).  So when I left I took it with me and attempted not to eat it on the ride home.  Well cut to the end.. where I ate one of them, darn there were two. The other one I left in the car glove compartment.  But that started my road to a destructive fast day, with Ritz crackers and cream cheese.  I ended my great fast day with over 700 calories.  I'm so glad God gives us a new day to get it right!!.. Today I get it right!.. Have a great day ladies.  I'm checking further into this Protein limit.  I think I'm doing too much protein and might be a problem.  This was so much easier in the beginning when we could only eat a spoonful of food at a time.  Now I'm back where I was before the surgery trying to loose weight on my own, and not finding the right balance that gets the scale moving.. But I'm still on the hunt!!.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Office Goodies.jpgK one more try

Oh hell no! That would be so hard to resist! We have buttered popcorn everyday in the office...then sometimes baked goods and home made Cookies for sale on T-T..... Yikes!

Yesterday I started out good, 1 Protein Drink all day before dinner... then i got the call from hubby, two dinner guests, he was picking up wine and Snacks, and would I cook dinner? I made something not too bad, but I ended up with 800 cals.... and lots of extra salt...... weight stayed the same, but it will be hard to fit in another fast day before monday...  Oh well, happy I didn't gain!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Well Brown, you sound like Steven...ha. I actually think you hit alot on the head here. Basically he has a loving personality and he has this problem of women getting attached to him... and yet he is NOT boyfriend material (financially irresponsible, terrible time management, lives by crisis, impulsive and selfish in many ways. etc). He told me he has broken hearts and it breaks his heart when that happens. It scares him because it always ends that way. His last girlfriend "wasted" 5 years on him and he wants to be sure I don't do that. Of course there is a fundamental difference - I met him with the intention of not having a long term and we have talked alot about this.

Last night we had a very long talk about things and he really appreciated that I shared details of feedback about himself. I told him about my complex emotions on it and he was very interested because i summed it up that "you make me feel good when I am with and I like feeling good so I want to keep seeing you". It was like a lightbulb went off - he said he does that to everyone (colleagues, customers, men, women whatever) and he often disappoints because he can't really be "that person" to everybody. He told me he loves me... like he loves his friends... a word I won't use because it means alot of different things, but I told him about my complex feelings - drawn to him and yet have no desire to have a LTR or get sucked into his chaos.

So, what he wants me to do is start dating others (ie maintaining our exclusive agreement due to STD risk) and he said it will take me a long time to find the right person so he wants to keep seeing me. I think that will work for awhile, but i do need him to make some adjustments and we'll see if that happens. I warned him though, I am one of those people that think about stuff for a long time, patient, analytical - but then I just DO... in a blink of an eye... and often those decisions are justified by my analysis, but really are made emotionally. I don't mean to say that is a good thing about myself, but it is how I am.

Bottom line though - my headspace on other men is that i am just not that interested. I went on a "meet for a drink" yesterday and the guy was really nice but I felt like I was having a drink with someone from work. No spark. Then I get in a position of having to politely tell perfectly nice men... eh, not interested. I don't like doing that. I need to get tougher. I think there is someone out there that will turn my head but I will need to meet about 100 to find him.

BTW, feedback is... and it is like a shocked "Wow" response that I look much better in person than my crappy photos. I don't know why i can't get a decent photo of myself. I used a cropped version of my thanksgiving pic which I thought was cute. I met this guy after work, so by then my hair was frizzy and my makeup was less than fresh and he still thought i was way cuter in person... nice compliment but also feedback that if i want to improve my odds of attracting the personality I am looking for (he is the guy every woman wants I am sure) I need to seriously figure out my pictures.

Maybe Steven will help me with photos...haha

Jane, must be nice getting new attention, having men want to meet you. I would think its exciting, cause you never know who your gonna meet. but then again a bit scary cause you never know who your gonna meet. Do you meet more duds and thuds? as for the guy sounds like you really want but may not be able to have.. my suggestion.. keep him in your life. You never know when he'll be ready to settle down. you can maintain the relationship you've got going on and enjoy the benefits when they are available.. being loved and showered with attention from a person you like also.. hard to find. I say hang in with him as a "side dish" until you find the remaining life partner your seeking. I've been married for over 30 years. We wont win any exciting marriage contest, but we are always there for each other. CGJ I applaud for staying in the game. Sounds like your keeping life interesting even though i'm sure it gets tiring trying to find the right guy to share your life with. Well now you got the hot body that will help attract and you can do the choosing!!

Globe - he is 16 years older, very interesting comparison to your situation (and another reason I don't want a LTR with him). We generally only see each other maybe 2-4 times a month and only talk a few times a week, so it isn't that bad, but it is very similar and it does feel sort of addictive... like I am seeking a physical endorphin rush. weird.

There is a book called 5 Love Languages. I scored very high on needing verbal affirmations and physical contact and he provides both somehow in a way that just makes me feel good. From day one, it is like he does everything "right" in ways I didn't even know i was seeking. That is kinda similiar to receiving the physical care after surgery - I didn't realize how much I wanted to feel that comfort of the caring. It was really my counselor who pointed it out. It is a strange thing to realize about oneself, how much I want to feel that being cared for. It is also good self insight to keep from getting in a relationship with someone who

a. doesnt provide that (that would be my history!) OR

b. provides it and manipulates with it.

On the Insanity thing, I am not sure it is a great idea for your overall health. Super intense workouts deplete your reserves so I would really wonder. However, the weight gain you should NOT worry about. Your muscles are simply holding more Water, it is a normal response to that kind of workout. The pounds DO start melting eventually.

Why oh why am I up a pound and a half?!!! I'm seriously considering stopping Insanity, I need to lose weight!!!!!!

I'm going to drop my Protein slightly and up my carbs ever so little and keep the calories super low even on feed days, and see what happens.

Brown - The only way I can make things happen anymore is with laxatives, be they natural herbs or Miralax, triple doses.

CGJ - Your description of your relationship with your non-boyfriend is a chapter straight out of my life, I had an identical situation with a much older man who made me feel exactly as you feel. He was truly an addiction, I truly craved him, and when he would call and I would hear his voice, a flood of pleasure rolled over my brain and if a day went by without hearing from him, I was in withdrawal. not good.

I know that doing the Insanity is good me emotionally, psychologically, and I am one of the lucky few who gets the endocannabinoid rush, but I will stop if it is halting my weight loss. I am still too far away from goal to level off.

Oh and CGJ - I know exactly what you mean about being cared for, I actually enjoyed most of my time when I was medevac'd to Germany for precisely those reasons. It makes me understand how people can become addicted to plastics or develop Munchausens.

[Georgia 2,908]

K one more try

Yep, we have Snacks in the break room but we have a fridge too so I stack my snacks in there and try hard to ignore!! Some days if there are donuts, um, I don't ignore. Lol

[feedyoureye 3,087]

  It is also good self insight to keep from getting in a relationship with someone who

a. doesnt provide that (that would be my history!) OR

b. provides it and manipulates with it.

I choose B.!

I have been so attracted to brilliant sociopaths in the past! 

what is that about...Yikes! They can really dish out what you want, but the price can be horrible.

[No game 14,437]

Office Goodies.jpgK one more try

Oh that's not not good!

I would be in serious distress over seeing that daily! The only good thing I see there? Those cheap asses are charging for that crap!

If it were free? Would be like "oh you must grab you mustn't pass up free food it might come in handy"

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Brown, at least those Snacks require a little money. I could force myself to not buy something, I have to walk by and stare at vending machines whenever I go to the office and can resist but sometimes it is hard. Especially since I used to buy a little something sweet and carby to pick me up in the afternoon pretty regularly... just the visual triggers that desire at times.

What did me in was many years ago my boss lost 100# on weight watchers but remained food obsessed. Her outlet was to bring massive quantities of candy, sweets and other foods into the office for other people to eat - she turned into a feeder. It wasn't just special occasions (although we had food for that too) it was basically a daily presence. Our team was about 25 people and so the snacks were spread out and right outside my office was a table top where the kind sized costco quantity candy bowl lived. she got very upset when I insisted she move it, it wasn't fair to everyone else. (like seriously?). I lost alot of respect for her when she was so unsupportive of my needs to not watch people eat chocolate in front of me all day long.

Well, that was 4-5 years ago and she has regained most of her lost weight. I am not judging because god knows i always regained in the past too, but it was clear to me that she is still food obsessed. Her online profile at work lists cooking as her number #1 hobby... anyway, feeders and enablers show up all over the place don't they.

(p.s. another thing about Steven is that he is a naturally thin, not food oriented person - I like spending time with people who don't care much about food one way or the other - bless him)

[coops 1,790]

I know this is off topic - but I gotta tell you - my daughter applied to joined the Police Cadets and she has been accepted! So proud and chuffed for her as she wants to follow in her dad's footsteps and become a regular police officer so this is the first step! Just so proud!