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Well, finished out my fast day at 540. Not too shabby. And even had hot cocoa, Ms Skinniness! Lol. I'll admit the 60 cal version is not as good as the 180 cal version. :).

Hope everyone is doing well with their fast days and otherwise.

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Tough day... I know I can be all about me sometimes.. I am sorry, but I feel out of control I have self hate and want to ruin my progress with binging...

Ok I'm going to clean some toilets and cheer my self up o_0

OK Laura, I'm going to take you on a little ride. If you don't want to go on a little ride, then skip this post. Otherwise.....

When your cleaning those toilets, picture all those dark thoughts pouring down the drain and being replaced with crystal clear healing nectar of the gods. Your brain is now floating in a warm, lovely healing bath that reaches the deepest recesses of your mind, past and present. It flows down past your eyes, nose, ears and mouth, then through your spinal cord, and on through your whole body, polishing and cleaning every inch of your body, leaving you glowing and healthy, strong and flexable. All perceived impurities and imperfections are washed away. You can feel the warm radiance of your perfect being. And starting with your son and lovely husband, you can see that they naturally are glowing and healthy, just like you. You can see it in everyone around you, every lovely being. Some know it, some do not, some forgot, and some remember, but they all have it. You have always been this way, you just forgot for a little while. You are a perfect being Laura, you have Buddha nature built in. If you Water it, it will grow. I know you can see it in your lovely son, now go give him a hug, and realize you are that too.

Love and hugs from your internet friend, who obviously spent some time with a few hypnotists in her life, as well as a few Buddhists and did not forget their style...

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Tough day... I know I can be all about me sometimes.. I am sorry, but I feel out of control I have self hate and want to ruin my progress with binging...

Ok I'm going to clean some toilets and cheer my self up o_0

OK Laura, I'm going to take you on a little ride. If you don't want to go on a little ride, then skip this post. Otherwise.....

When your cleaning those toilets, picture all those dark thoughts pouring down the drain and being replaced with crystal clear healing nectar of the gods. Your brain is now floating in a warm, lovely healing bath that reaches the deepest recesses of your mind, past and present. It flows down past your eyes, nose, ears and mouth, then through your spinal cord, and on through your whole body, polishing and cleaning every inch of your body, leaving you glowing and healthy, strong and flexable. All perceived impurities and imperfections are washed away. You can feel the warm radiance of your perfect being. And starting with your son and lovely husband, you can see that they naturally are glowing and healthy, just like you. You can see it in everyone around you, every lovely being. Some know it, some do not, some forgot, and some remember, but they all have it. You have always been this way, you just forgot for a little while. You are a perfect being Laura, you have Buddha nature built in. If you Water it, it will grow. I know you can see it in your lovely son, now go give him a hug, and realize you are that too.

Love and hugs from your internet friend, who obviously spent some time with a few hypnotists in her life, as well as a few Buddhists and did not forget their style...

<3

After the wake of destruction I left behind this morning. Reading your calmness and love coming through is a gift I wasn't sure I deserved at first... But thank you.

Thank you all so much, it means so much today.

Today was a fast day for me, honestly I felt like I couldn't do it today.. But somehow I have not binged and I'm glad.

I feel worn out emotionally but I feel I light of relief

glowing around me too,,,

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FYE...that is awesome! I love it!

Laura, I'm glad you are feeling better...anytime you have those dark thoughts, go back and read what Kim just wrote. Beautiful!

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Its for all of us, because its easy to forget until you finally fully remember.

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Sar have a safe trip.

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My computer crashed. I finally got a new lap top today . i have been going through withdrawl. It took me forever to catch up in here!

Laura. why does it say staff under your name? Are you a moderator now?

I hope they change the vets forum like you wrote it.

I have been talking to a guy in Portland and we are going to meet on Thursday. I am very excited. I am kind of scared though bc his picture is really blurry and far away. I've gotten excited over an online thing before and after finally meeting, there was no chemistry.

I've been doing good eating wise. I have nobody to cook for so it's a whole lot easier!

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Feed - I am going to write down your post, maybe even paint it calligraphy style, because that was beautiful and healing <3

There seems to be a lot of catharsis going on here and that is wonderful, the support is also so healing.

Speaking of which, major shout outs must go forth, to Brown, Sar, and OD - I received the care package today and ladies, I am overwhelmed. Thank you thank you THANK YOU, and those words are puny for what I am feeling. I will start reading the Minding my Mitochondria book tonight and I've already made a vinaigrette from your ingredients for tonight's salad. Things have beel pretty blue lately, feeling very down in the dumps, but with your help, I have had the happiest day I've had since my initial diagnosis!

Day #3 Insanity workout - didn't black out, didn't throw up. Only came close to blacking out once. I think from now on I will only fast on non insanity days, it doesn't seem healthful to fast and do such intense cardio. Thoughts?

I've also decided to ignore the fat content counter on my tracker, I know that the fats I'm eating, olive oil, coconut oil, are healthful fats and particularly important for my condition.

I've had a major victory at work today, which added to the awesomeness of the day, yay!

Now if I could just poop, the day would be perfect!!

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Globe, 2 days a week I work out intensely for 2 hours (heavy weight training with a small group and a trainer for a solid hour and then spin...solid cardio for an hour) and while I've had to fast occasionally on a double workout day, I try not to. I think regular exercise and a fast day are fine but if you are working very hard, it's probably not a good idea to combine insanity and fasting... ;)

I'm so glad you had such a great day...what was your victory at work? (If you feel like sharing...)

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Besides my regular duties, I am also a Contracting Officer's Representative, and am responsible for the cultural expert contractor we use. I have been trying to get his insurance to renew for about 4 months, and they kept giving me the run-around but I was persistent and didn't give up and it paid off :)

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That is awesome GT. That kind of persistence will serve you well in many areas of your life!

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Feed - I am going to write down your post, maybe even paint it calligraphy style, because that was beautiful and healing <3

..............

Now if I could just poop, the day would be perfect!!

That would be so cool! I love calligraphy, I'm not any good at it, but actually taught a class once, and just tried to keep a step ahead of the students... who knew nothing about it, so it worked out for everyone. :P

............

Now that IS a good way to end the day!

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Hi guys...

I've been talking to Cheri this morning..

She wanted me to say hi to all of you for her and she wants you to know she misses you all and will be back soon (I hope because I personally have missed her)

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FYE I love your script....how I forgot about these tools....Thank you for sharing this with us...I love taking journeys like this one... You are a very creative genius.... :P

Laura I hope your day is going much better now....I'm glad you spoke to Cheri and she's coming back...miss you Cheri......

So looking forward to my next cup of hot chocolate Georgia.....with less calories is great.... :P

Today my scale batteries were dead...I just replaced them about a week ago.....frustrated with it... :P

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Hmm, you know, I am not worrying overly about Protein grams. Never have really except at the very beginning year or so of loss. Should I be too concerned? I eats lots of cheese, meat, and veggies as a rule. I don't eat much junk except my 90 calorie Fiber One bars (once every day or so) and WW Ice cream bars (yogurt strawberry and NSA Fudge). I eat fruit and take Vitamins. I probably don't usually hit 50 or near it. I looked back and I've been averaging in the last month or so about 30-35 daily. I have never done shakes (except the few I started trying a couple months ago) I don't feel weak or extremely tired. I exercise (except last two weeks because I have STILL got the cruds/upper respiratory infection).

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