gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Daisy, I love it. I have one criticism and it is minor. I think too much of it reads "I like abc". The word "I" starts alot of sentences and paragraphs. It seems to me that it would read better, more naturally, if some of the sentences were reworded.

Having said that, not sure i qualify as an expert as to what guys want. i get lots of emails from my POF profile but seldom from men that interest me. Clearly, I haven't hit the magical formula. My POF profile was inactivated or so I thought, but I did something to rectivate it...I have not actually been emailing people etc since like this last summer.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Can you reword it for me Jane? I am so sick of that profile and changing little pieces here and there that I could just scream "EITHER DATE ME OR DON'T!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

OD, I really appreciated your explanation of not being able to be with someone you love, it helped me understand the situation a lot better and I have to say, it made me even prouder of you than I was because your choice to not be with him shows that you are committed to your needs having priority and that is so good. Oh and, who cares if that guy is 11 yrs younger? If he was interested in you, so be it! My last boyfriend was 11 yrs younger. I agree with Jane about the sentences starting with "I" and it sounding a bit like a shopping list.

Swizzly - I actually don't think the Google group will die, I think it will lay dormant until we need it again or maybe we will use it for the random chats that tend to happen, at any rate thank you so much for putting in that effort, I know we all appreciate it!

Sometimes I'm so embarrassed, here I am a vet of 3 yrs, and I read all you guys grumbling about your weights, and so many of you are less than 10-15 pounds from goal or "worse"! I am still at a huge number, height and age factored in.

it brings back uncomfortable memories of jr high, with the skinny girls in the bathroom complaining loudly about how fat they are, when they know darn well they aren't the ones who are fat - I am. Theirs was done with purposeful cruelty, I absolutely know that is NOT the case here, but those are my feelings.

Jane - your glorious arms! They give me such hope, I definitely want mine done.

As for 5:2 .... today I think will be the ultimate fast day at about 20 calories for the day. I'm not feeling too great, I ate some broccoli and chicken last night, about an ounce of chicken and about a cup of broccoli, and I was so miserably stuffed and uncomfortable it was only by sheer will that I didn't barf. Then today like an idiot, I ate a bite of the broc and chicken. ONE BITE, and I felt thanksgiving stuffed. That was 2 hours ago and I still can't eat or sip. Bleayargh..

Hey Cheri, you could video your daughter when your husband isn't around and then show him the "proof"!

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Hi Globe I hear u. I was embarrassed to talk about being at 255 pounds and needing help to lose more. Before I started posting again I would think I am still a fatty these ladies won't understand. What I have come to remember we all came from the same place and our current weight or weight to lose is all relative. I hear u knowing some are inches away from goal and others (like me) have miles to go makes me feel like the fatty of the group. But positive note I know we have all been down the same tough road and are here for each other

[BrownDoesAll 409]

BTW my name is Wanda Brown, hence the BrownDoesAll. Wife, mother, daughter, grandmother, friend, Manager. Many hats many roles but I do it all. Picture me standing proudly with my arms on my hips like superman and my bat wings flapping in the breeze hahahaha. Stay focused ladies

[UK Cathy 977]

Globe, I know what you mean about weight and the scales and 'goal' but as someone brought up recently that is how we measure our success and it is a mindset we have to get away from. We have to find a different measuring scale. I'm sorry that you feel like you do but as you say no one is mentioning weight here to make anyone else feel bad. The cool kids here look in the mirror and notice the changes in you and say 'wow look at you - you are doing so well' or ' you look a little sad today can we help you'?

A bit of an excess weekend and the 1lb I claimed on Friday unfortunately has gone but hey ho it's only a lb. I had my first green shake today and it wasn't too bad, I need to experiment with ingredients, determined to get mor veg in each day. Fast tomorrow and I am looking forward to that.

On a personal note just had a phone call from hubbie and the Co he works for ( and owns a bit of) has folded so that's his job gone. We knew this was coming and he has battled on for these last few months to make things better but it was not to be. We are quite resigned about it and I am a great believer that things are meant to be. It is a huge blow at the moment but in a year or so it will be the best thing that has happened to us. It will more than likely mean a house move in the new year unless he finds a job but at 57 that might not be too likely. I am an emotional eater so I have to be careful. Though as we have been living this the past months I think I have got the sadness and tears out, better not eat with relief now.

Hope everyone is well and I'm so pleased we are all back together.

PS Swizzly we all do really appreciate you setting up the gmail group account, we were all floundering but you stepped in and got us organised. Thank you.

[M2G 1,836]

Oh Cathy...I'm so sorry! Hugs! You have the right attitude, but this is a big life change. HUGS TO YOU!!!

[M2G 1,836]

Dee, thank you so much for setting up the group...I was so happy that we had a lifeline during the time when we couldn't get on here...and we may need it someday. Thank you for spending the time to do that!

Daisy, here is my super-quick rewrite of your profile. Feel free to take or not take anything I've suggested. Maybe Laura will trot along here and inject some humor to it...

A little about me...

I am a witty woman, who loves life. My glass is half full and I'm always trying to find the sunny side of any situation.

One of my best assets is my easy going nature. With my sunny disposition, and excitment for life, I feel I'm very blessed. I have great kids and I adore my grandchildren. I don't have a lot of baggage and do my best to keep my life stress and drama free.

I love being outdoors, and finding the beauty in nature. Hiking on the many trails we have in this area is one of my favorite things to do. I also love dacing and going out to have a good time.

I have a very open mind and love trying new things!

About the one I'm looking for...

Someone who is easy going and isn't afraid to communicate. He likes to talk about a wide range of subjects and is a good listener as well. Having a good sense of humor is very important not only in a relationship but in life as well! He enjoys the outdoors and having adventures, but is just as comfortable snuggling on the couch and watching a movie. This person wants to build a future with a woman who is his equal and his best friend.

[swizzly 901]

Cathy, I'm so sorry about your husband's job. I know what you mean about a year from now, but that doesn't help in the moment really. Hang in there.

[clk 3,519]

Aww, first big hugs to Cathy. That's tough.

Hello Wanda, nice to have a name to pair with the face! Please don't feel like you don't belong here - it doesn't matter how much farther you have until goal. There are a number of folks here that never hit goal once and even some that are here to lose regains. You're right - the important thing is that we're struggling through the same stuff and trying to beat this weight. I enjoy the fact that your posts always end on a positive.

GT, you have got to have some good days. You are long overdue for at least a handful of days with no issues! I hope you get to feeling better (and eating!) soon. Your diet protocol is challenging enough with your location, I'm sure, so it doesn't help to wind up so ill you can't even eat. I know OD sent you box, but if it turns out you need anything else let me know and I'll send it along.

OD, Good luck! I like you profile and agree with Shelia's changes. Hopefully you'll meet someone you really enjoy spending time with, so you can get out and have some fun.

CGJ, I'm glad you're able to look back at your relationship and see both the positives and negatives. Here's hoping the coming year is truly amazing for you. You've come so far. And while you see it as a drawback, I truly feel that so many people flounder in life and in relationships because they don't know themselves or what they want. You may find it more difficult to find someone you wish to connect with, but you're really just weeding out all of the ones that wouldn't suit beforehand. I didn't meet my husband until I'd decided on the five points I was absolutely set upon - those things I wouldn't compromise any longer. I went on a long string of first dates but I was tired of compromising and trying to make unsuitable partners work for me. In the end I found a partner I can live with...and one who can live with me. I wish you the very best.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. Now it's time to focus on the rest of my insane November. I can't wait until the second week of December! My holiday season will be OVER and I can finally relax.

I'm up from my last weigh in but down from the last few days. I expect to shed the rest of my cycle gain by Wednesday and then I hope to log a loss for the week by Sunday.

Fasting today. Nothing yet but plans for an ultra exciting (not) Protein Shake for Breakfast in about an hour followed by Protein, Water, protein, water and more protein. Then probably some extra water for good measure!

Take care ladies. Have a lovely Monday. I'm off to scour the boards in search of threads I can answer without causing fights. Ha!

~Cheri

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Wow! So many thoughtful posts over the night and early am...

Globe, I do know where you are coming from, being the "fat girl" in the room, but remember we all have experience with that, remember just how it felt... Honestly, I doubt anyone here thinks of you as fat, we think of you as you... and all your complexities.

Same to Wanda! Of course, we cant see your bodies unless you post a pic, and Im sure if you post a before and after, even if your not where you want to be yet, we would all stand up and cheer for your success so far! Its a damn hard road. This is the FIRST time I have gotten to a weight goal... ever! I have had waaaay more experience with not getting to goal, and regain than being at goal. I feel you.

Cathy, Change is so challenging... and moving is my least fav thing to do! But life IS change, and your attitude is lovely. Sometimes the hared thing now is the best thing later, I understand that. Its an opportunity. Best of luck to you both.

Im fasting today too. My knee bone spurs are acting up, and I am staying home with my leg up and an ice pack. SOOOO boring... but I will try to head this off at the pass... last time I lost 4 months at the gym... and that was part of my regain problem....  Thank goodness this time I have the 5:2!

OD, and Jane, Relationship can sure be complicated! If I were putting myself back in the "market" I think I would use the internet too, and maybe spend some time on meetup doing super fun activities. 

Shelia, I really like your rewrite for Daisey....more to the point and well rounded.

Kim

[No game 14,437]

I just read all the new posts..

We are, all of us, amazing, beautiful and strong women...

Also, we are not our bodies.

I really want to tell you all that I love and cherish every one of you.

[Georgia 2,908]

Cathy, sorry that the Hubs has lost his job. Sounds like he gave it all he had and can stand tall. These days that means a lot!!!

 

Brown, alias Wanda, girl, quit that fatty stuff. We all cut from the same cloth!!! LOL. We've all been there and working hard to do better!

 

Daisy, hang in there! You have a fine group working on you!!! Hee hee.

 

All the rest of my peeps, Happy Monday!!!!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

_{It's funny, i am still off work but can't keep up with all the posts on this forum! I do read every post on this thread!}

_{I am glad that Globe and Brown brought up the "fat girl" topic as this has been on my mind lately. When I started this process, my dream was to get under 200# and maintain it. I wasnt sure that was even possible. Then, I realized it was and I decided to set my goal at 158 - to lose an even 150#. I maintained that for 6 months, BMI in the 25-26 range and feltgreat about it. I have ALWAYS been fat, even when I wasn't that fat. Back in my youth, teen girls weighed 100# and I weighed 140-160 - know what I mean?}

_{Anyway, I bounced over the high end of my goal range so decided to do 5:2 and somehow miraculously got down to 149. I had it set in my head I should be able to maintain at 148 (ie range of 145-148) since I lost 5.5# of skin. Due to swelling, inactivity and that maybe the Gods are angry with me, I am instead maintaining at 152-153 right now. I have been discouraged and then yesterday it hit me... wtf????}

_{A year ago, heck, 6 months ago I would have lept for joy to see 153 on the scale, so why am I suddenly so ungrateful? Why do I sometimes feel FAT compared to many of the vets on this VST forum? My BMI is now just under 25 and I see people with BMI in the low20 complaining about how fat they are.}

_{It has triggered some of those old negative thoughts about myself.}

_{Here is the truth, even 10# heavier and pre plastics, people around me all think I look good. I was so strong, vibrant, healthy, my skin glows, my hair looks great. My boyfriend (tall and skinny guy) always told me I looked like a million bucks and really know how to dress and look good.}

_{Anyway, I guess the point I am trying to make is I think we all need to take a little step back. Honestly, a fewpounds up or down does not make your life better or worse. Others scarcely notice it. It seems like at times it borders on an unhealthy, self absorbed point of view. The whole freaking world does NOT CARE what size pants we can stuff our butts into.}

_{I have reflected on my own "immaturity" on this subject and I think it is because I was alway fat compared to my same age peers and I missed out on "growing out of this "self absorption". I have something similar going on about my face. My boyfriend (and in fact even the single dates I went out on) I always had men tell me that I have a very pretty face - because I smile and am lively looking, When I look in the mirror, I see OLD. I think one again it is decades of just avoiding looking at myself too closely. Now, when I see those wrinkles, and neck wattle it makes me feel sad. I think my sadnes is really about the decades that my face spent buried under morbid obesity, it isnt really about what it looks like right now.}

_{Anyway, I know that some of us in this group are still working to get to a healthy weight range and I don't mean to discount that... I do think that all of us though need to be a little less self critical and a little more self loving. I generally feel good about my body until I start comparing myself to others - it just isn't productive.}

_{Curious if any of this resonates with the rest of you?}

[clk 3,519]

CGJ, yes, this resonates with me!

In junior high they made us do weekly weigh ins in front of everyone. I was already my adult height of 5'1" and I had a beautiful figure - the figure of a grown woman - but every other girl was still developing! I remember being one of two girls that weighed over 100 pounds. A very large girl (who I felt incredibly sorry for, because it was clearly humiliating for her to do this) who was already morbidly obese and me, and I weighed in pretty consistently at 120 pounds. But I was a busty girl and wore a size 5 back before this vanity sizing got out of control.

Oh, I felt so fat! I started dieting that year and it was all downhill from there. And I felt fat, and so I thought "WTH, I'm already fat" and I started eating through emotions that I'd previously worked through with long bike rides or running. I stopped being active...the whole thing was like this giant downhill slide.

I have always been told how pretty I am and I've always really resented it. In the past I always heard it like "you have such a pretty face, but your body needs work" even when that wasn't the intent of the speaker. Well, by people that aren't related to me, I was complimented. I'm sure hearing how fat, useless and unattractive I was from family members that should have been supportive meant more to me than anything a stranger could say. So my entire view of my body and my attractiveness has been warped. I mean, I wouldn't even wear a short sleeved shirt in the Texas summer heat as a teen, because I felt that I was too fat to show that much of my body. Yeah...at a whopping 150 pounds or so.

Definitely screwed up.

And now I go back and forth beating myself up over just a few pounds. It's incredibly hard to appreciate how far I've come and how good I do look. I'm so focused on that scale, on the fact that my clothes don't fit the way they did before my baby, and on the fact that I really would like plastics to remove the loose skin.

I absolutely cannot see ME in the mirror around all of this other nonsense flying around in my skull. People constantly compliment me, tell me how great I look for just having had a baby, tell me how losing weight took years off me and I don't look my age...but I see what? Six pounds, a few rolls of skin I despise and the handful of grey hairs on my head.

It's disgusting, the way I've taken up the slack. I cut the abusers and manipulators out of my life, but I've taken up the job for them and can't seem to love and appreciate myself.

I have a truly great husband. He tells me every day to be kinder to myself, he emphasizes how far I've come. I literally CANNOT see it some days unless I whip out the pictures. And I must be careful not to compare those pictures to how I feel I look right now. It's crazy. I must be crazy!

I have lost more than 100 pounds from my start weight. If you count from my highest ever, I've lost 140 pounds. But I still struggle with accepting myself because of six measly pounds.

Unreal.

If only it were as simple as flipping a switch. By far, this has been the hardest part of the journey for me. Feeling my feelings, dealing with my perception of myself, being accepting of myself as a person, loving my body - those things, for me, are far more challenging than the food issues. It's these negative feelings about myself that sometimes push me towards the food!

~Cheri