gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

fye - I am sooo happy for you! That is major! You do not need to justify your higher goal weight then some. I think I shared previously that I got alot more attention / looks from men when I was 20# heavier then I am now. Weird because my whole life I thought skinny was what everybody wanted. I am not skinny, but think that a more voluptous look is definately appealing. And besides, it is just more realistic for many of us.

I am having a discouraging few days. I admit that right now I truly regret getting the plastics. Not because i am unhappy with the results because they surely meet my expectations - but more like I am just not sure the results are good enough for how long and slow this recovery is. Last night my support person removed about half the stitches. It went really well and I had taken something to relax me so I just wanted him to FINISH but it was hurting his back to bend over so I hope tonight he can do the last. I still have one drain, but the output is really dropping so I think it will come out soon. I sense that my feelings about plastics will be much more positive when I no longer have to hide a drain going out in public. I have 3 more weeks of wearing the compression garments and i can't dress normally because they make me look weird. I just want to be able to slip on a bra and panties, throw on some leggings or tights and a sweater dress and be on my way. 3 more weeks. Then I am told not to wear heels and all that since swelilng can happen for months. Again, I question if this is really worth it.

My boyfriend exended his weekend trip for a few more days (returning today) and then he flies out again on Friday. I tried to not sound disappointed but I was really counting on him to distract me and get me out of the freaking house this weekend. It is not his job, but I am pouting about it anyway...lol. Anyway, he says he will be home for awhile after this, but i don't believe him. I mean, I think he wants to stay home, but he does public speaking engagements and has to take them when they come up and they fly him all over the country for that. And then ski season starts soon (weather dependant) and between speaking engagements he works as an instructor - basically to fund his skiing obsession. So, although we find ourselves getting closer and closer in many ways, I am finding myself less accepting of him having so little time for us. He knows it, as we have very good communication, and knows that come January I will be reconsidering our whole situation. He has told me that he wants to find ways to stay together but we both also know that certain lifestyle things are just "what they are". I can't stand a clingy or overbearing boyfriend, but one i see more then once a week would be good. The last thing I want is for him to change to try to appease me and then be resentful over it... I would rather move on and be left with the awesome memories.

On the good news front, I am going to take both shooting and skiing lessons myself (not taught by boyfriend since that seldom works well..haha). I remember when the kids were learning to snoboard they hated it at first and got really pissed off at the instructors. That is apparently the BF experience too as he told me that he didn't want me to get mad at HIM so that I need to get beginner lessons from someone else. The shooting class I want to take is offered on the same day as my big family Christmas party in December so i guess that will also have to wait until after the new year. I really need something to look forward to sooner rather then later so I wish I could find a good class to take in December (ie after I am cleared for all activity around Dec 9 or 8 weeks post op)

So, onto fasting. I am going to try a fast day on Thursday but right now feel so unmotivated. What I need is more exercise but am not yet permitted to do that. i feel the moss growing, the muscles wilting and my spirits flagging... okay, pity party for me today! ha

I am going to see if one of my friends wants to be bothered by my company today or tomorrow. That will help. Everybody has been sick and hyper conscious about not infecting me, so it has been lonely.

[Georgia 2,908]

Congrats FYE - that's a big accomplishment. Sorry to hear about the delay with picking things up' date=' OD. It's not easy to end a relationship and it's worse when it just drags out. I hope he can pick his things up soon and you'll be able to start putting that behind you. I hope you have some luck with your dates - get out and have fun, maybe you'll meet a great match. I fasted yesterday and it was a pretty easy day. I'm also focusing on Protein again. I've been letting those numbers slip and of course I feel more "hunger" when I do that. If I'm not careful, I fill that "hungry" space with junk. So the last few days I've been pushing protein hard and I'm back up in the 90-100 grams a day range again (I can only hit in the 50-60 range on fast days). My overall calorie counts are falling and I'm staying just around 1,000 calories a day with relative ease. I feel like I eat all day long! It's wonderful, really. I'm also down 2.2 pounds on the scale since I started checking back in with you guys. I'm 1.2 pounds from the top end of my maintenance window and I'd like to lose another 5.5 pounds from this point. Once I'm there, I can reevaluate and decide if I want to fight it for another five. I might just do that. My ultrasound showed some pretty serious adhesions. The entire left side of my uterus, my fallopian tube, my ovary - they can't see much about adhesions in an ultrasound but they were clearly in the wrong location and appear to be fused to my back. Well, that explains the pain! I'm off hormones right now but doc is insisting I restart them. Why? Seriously, they *might* prevent more adhesions (assuming the side effects aren't as miserable as they were last time) but they won't do anything for the current ones. She's, in her words, "reluctant to refer me for surgery" if I'm unwilling to follow the prescribed hormone treatment afterwards, as the adhesions will likely just recur. Well, duh? I mean, even WITH hormones they recur! I hate my doctor. I'm currently in the process of working with the Tricare representative to switch my care to an entirely different military hospital. I refuse to see someone so incredibly idiotic. She's done nothing but waste my time and send me in circles for months. It took me going to the ER to get the referral for the ultrasound in the first place, and it took phone calls to a patient rep to get an appointment with my PCM to read me the results so quickly. Government involvement in almost anything leads to poor customer service. You can't do anything about it - there's no incentive to improve, no monetary benefit tied to quality of care and no real repercussions for poor performance. Your patients/customers keep coming in the door because they have no other options. It's terrible and I hate it. I'll put off the other fast day until Thursday. I find that my overall desire to snack is diminished now that I'm so focused on protein. It's a relatively simple way to get that carb monster off my back and get some results. Here's hoping that shaving my calories down will finally jump start loss again. I've enjoyed this last week of no real bounces - I hold steady some days but typically drop at least a tiny bit every other day. ~Cheri[/quote']

WTG, Cheri. Also, sorry about all the pain and rigamorole! I have Tricare Prime and am finding some of what you discussed. Just finding a Dr to take Tricare now is a big hassle and yours is a military hospital!!!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I am definitely colder now, and really like it. I hate being hot. I would much rather put on another layer than take on off! Now I am more of a snuggler!

[coops 1,790]

Big hugs to all you that need it... this thread goes up and down with emotions, fair play!

FYE - chuffed to Beans for you m'love! Loving the all time low - get in girl!

All good here, nothing to complain about really... and yes it is COLD! And I feel the cold so much more these days.

Did my fast Monday, but went over - had a low cal day today and will prob fast again either tomo or Thurs - got a late night in work Thurs so that might be the best day? I will see how I feel.

Noticing a tighter restriction lately again too - seems to reflect the weight loss; goes in fits and spurts. One day/week it is 'normal for me' the next super tight and then I feel I can eat that little bit more? Might just be in my head. I still use the same size plate (small) so I know I am not overdoing it.

scales are still at the low end of the bounce range - I really want to break this one again, but the body is resisting...*sigh*. At least with the 5:2 I 'know' it will happen at some point, just getting fed up of the same numbers again! Still not really complaining! Well, perhaps just a little!

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Now I remember why I have a problem with exercise. I went to the neighborhood gym ( LA Fitness ) and asked for a tour. They have the Zumba classes during the time it will be good for me to take. But the gym is filled with young men and women.. not 50 something year old folks that really need the exercise. I feel so out of place. So I'll check out the neighborhood Y. Eating good on my non control/fast days, so far I've got the snacking under control, despite the large chocolate chip cookie hubby bought home. He really is no help at all. but this is all me so. Hope everyone is having a good days.

[No game 14,437]

Hi brown and coops,

Coops that's interesting about the restriction. And encouraging. I feel that way now. So it's nice to know that further out I can still feel those tighter days. I wonder if our memories get clouded about how much we used to eat, as we get further out? I mean when you feel like you are eating a lot, it's in comparison to recent months years.. I bet if we could go a couple of years back and watch a normal eating day pre sleeve we would be amazed.

Thinking out loud

Brown, Cookies I love cookies! I splurge and buy expensive Protein cookies and eat one once in awhile whilst saying its good for me

[Georgia 2,908]

Now I remember why I have a problem with exercise. I went to the neighborhood gym ( LA Fitness ) and asked for a tour. They have the Zumba classes during the time it will be good for me to take. But the gym is filled with young men and women.. not 50 something year old folks that really need the exercise. I feel so out of place. So I'll check out the neighborhood Y. Eating good on my non control/fast days' date=' so far I've got the snacking under control, despite the large chocolate chip cookie hubby bought home. He really is no help at all. but this is all me so. Hope everyone is having a good days.[/quote']

 

Way to go, Brown! I, for one, just bought the bike and use my gazelle I know me I wouldn't go in there either

[M2G 1,836]

FYE - You are awesome little lady! So happy for you!

Cheri - I think that totally sucks about your dr. and I *hope* you can find someone new. What a royal PIA to have to do the dance, the circles the frustration. Gah! You sound more educated than SHE is! Hugs, I know this stuff isn't easy.

CGJ - I'm sure once you are all healed, and the drains (YUCK HATE DRAINS!) are gone and the swelling is gone you will love the final result. It's just the going through the miles of poo poo to get to the awesome rainbow at the end that sucks. I think it's okay to be in a bit of a funk right now, I think it's probably quite expected, sort of goes with the territory.

Brown - I do not think this sounds like a good fit for you. At my gym, they have a ton of Silver Sneakers classes for more "mature" crowds. Can you google that and see if there is anything close by that you can take a look at.

Coops - I just know that feeling that bounce zone that my body is only to happy to stay in ...argh! I feel for ya but just know you are NOT alone...and someday our bodies will give into our demands that we lose and get to that new bounce zone...IT WILL HAPPEN!

Alright ladies, I did it...FASTED for the first time in like 10 days or something crazy like that. Came in at 560 but I will SO take that! It was mind thing really because I wasn't hungry AND it was a double-workout day which I normally don't combine double-workout day and fasting but I backed myself into this corner by blowing my plans for a Mon. fast and Wed (tomorrow) I'm having lunch with some friends so that didn't seem like a good fast day to me. So anyway, it's done and I have to say MIND OVER MATTER!!!

Hang in there ladies!!!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I am lucky that at my gym, there are nothing but a bunch of us seniors that go around the time I go. I try to get there by 10 but a lot of the times, it's 11 am.

I am sure 5-8 am there's a bunch of cute young things in there.

I gave the rest of Alllens's stuff to his brother. His brother rents my other house. I like Lance. He's nothing like Allen. No, I don' t like him "that" way. But he's very supportive and he knows Allen so well, so he understands the things I complain about. He told me Allen said he is so in love with me, and he's completely miserable.

I am honestly considering a FWB situation here.

Got another message from the new guy, but I am having trouble finding things to write to him about.

I did fine on my eating today. I am beginning to think I need to do a week of Protein Shakes to get to 135.

Edited November 6, 2013 by Oregondaisy

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

FWB with Allen or his brother?

That is how things started with Steven and somehow it is very hard over time to keep it all "FWB only" Not just for the woman I might add. No regrets as this relationship has shown me slot of things that I want and deserve and have never had with a partner.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Woohoo m2g!

Brown consider looking for a place with Water aerobics. GREAT workout and the warm water helped me stretch while keeping it easy on the joints. Many older and overweight people in the class but don't let that fool you... you can really push and get a great workout no matter your fitness level.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Thank you Swizzly, new information coming to light IS encouraging and on days when my grief is overwhelming I try to focus on that. Speaking of which, today I went to our PA to get some meds for the deep pain that happens with spasticity during an exacerbation and she happened to have an MS drug, which is totally bizarre and random. Seeing that bottle sitting there, as she explained to me how to take it, it was too real and wrapped my heart in sorrow and I began to cry. I thought, this must be what AIDS patients feel like the first time they are sat down with their new meds - the heavy cocktail of drugs that will be with them for life, or the first time the cancer patient sits down gets the iv put in and stares at the bag with the label "chemotherapy".

CGJ - if you are still on any pain meds those can affect your mood over time and it has only been a few weeks since major surgery so your emotional chemicals etc. are still going to be in upheaval while you are readjusting.

I don't know what your release/therapy situation is but I recommed getting some and as I've said before, get yourself a hobby that you can pursue with your hands and mind alone, while sitting. Meditate, journal, talk to yourself about what you are feeling and why.

And drink sweet hot tea:)

Got some kinda virus, hot knives in the throat, exhaustion, etc. yay. So fasting is easier yay because I only really want to drink warm liquids so I made Soup last night with the last of the organic beef bouillon my Mom sent me; bouillon, onions, celery, mushrooms, broccoli, cabbage and a little bit of leftover steak shredded. I also smashed one of the cheese rocks with a giant hammer and added the cheese gravel to the soup - it was AHHmazing! Also, considering I made it in my electric Water kettle, rather MacGuyverish of me

Today was weigh in for the month-long challenge the ex-BF and I were doing, he won by 3 measly pounds!!!! He was gracious and going to say that I won because we had decided on a 5 pound lead for me (to make up for him being young and male) but I said no no, you won but we are going to do a lightening round with the added bonus/pressure of who makes it through Turkey Day without gaining Since my Turkey Day will consist of green drink and whatever sadness the difac offers, and he will be at his Grammys house in Kansas ON THE FARM, I think I have the advantage

Edited November 6, 2013 by Globetrotter

[UK Cathy 977]

Good fast day yesterday came in at 532. I do have a feeling of carb withdrawal manifesting itself as head hunger. I will have to keep busy today, though it helps that there is nothing in the fridge as I have not done a shop since coming back from holiday. I must remedy that today as I cannot go a whole day without my Greek yoghurt.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Alright ladies, I did it...FASTED for the first time in like 10 days or something crazy like that. Came in at 560 but I will SO take that! It was mind thing really because I wasn't hungry AND it was a double-workout day which I normally don't combine double-workout day and fasting but I backed myself into this corner by blowing my plans for a Mon. fast and Wed (tomorrow) I'm having lunch with some friends so that didn't seem like a good fast day to me. So anyway, it's done and I have to say MIND OVER MATTER!!!

Developing the strength to get back on the 5:2 in the face of:

"I already missed a fast, Ill just miss one more and get back later"

"I"ll start new on monday"...

"I don't feel like it today"....

dinner dates, visiting guest dinners at home, illness, vacations, holiday season.....

is so vital! It seems the body forgives these events if we get back to following the plan pretty soon.

I know in the pre-sleeve days (and part of the sleeve days too!) Those kinds of events threw me off the track of the many diet plans I was following... mostly terminally. Then I would go looking for a new plan where I was not "tempted" to quit. The sleeve really helps slow that process of regain down enough to get back on plan without as much damage. And the 5:2 helps even more my normalizing our feast days better than some other plans. The more/quicker we get back to fast day after deviations, the more this will be the habit, The more this will be normal life. Good work getting back on that 5:2 and your workout day!

Also, I'm old and don't text that much, what is FWB? I guessing some kind of Bootie call?.....Friend with benefits? got it.....

[clk 3,519]

Brown, I feel the SAME way about the gym and I'm 32 (okay, I'll be 33 in eleven days) but it's so discouraging and feels uncomfortable to me. I've never felt comfortable at the gym, except when I was back home and we had a women's only gym I went to twice every day. It's like you're supposed to get in shape before you can go to the gym! Intimidating. I hate it.

Sounds like people are picking up the fast days again. Sheila, I had a heck of a time getting back in the swing but man, once I did? Results, finally! Here's hoping you have the same experience, and good job getting back on track.

OD, if FWB will allow you to feel companionship without emotional complications that will upset you, go for it. Right now your concern is a fear of being alone and lonely, right? If Allen is comforting and enjoyable in small doses, and you can both keep boundaries in the relationship you might find it more satisfying than that whole shebang, so to speak. In any case, good luck whatever you decide. FWB used to get messy for me. The boys just get attached to me, what can I say?

So, I went to a birthday party with my twins this past weekend. I haven't felt so uncomfortable in a long time! Not only am I "that mom" (you know, the crazy tattooed one that the kids all love but the parents give the stink eye to) but every single woman at this party was fitness obsessed. Not healthy people - health NUTS. In more than an hour and a half (before I just moved over to the men who were talking sensibly) there was not a single conversation that wasn't fitness focused. Seriously. Yoga, triathlons, serious bike riders, long distance running. A few of these women looked really great - slender but fit and had great figures and muscle tone. But most of them looked emaciated and couldn't stop talking about the billion foods they don't eat and how much they work out.

The birthday cake went uneaten. Twenty seven kids present, but apparently spelt cake, even dressed up in a pretty two layer cake with yogurt frosting and applesauce filling, was simply not palatable to them. I didn't have any because I'm not really a cake person. Plus, in a six and 100 pounds lighter than 3 years ago I still felt like a fat cow there.

I had five moms ask me if I'm interested in getting in shape! WTever-lovingF is that supposed to mean? I think they were calling me fat. Joel (hubs) says they were just trying to pimp their personal trainer credentials. Still, I think they were calling me fat.

Anyway, it made me realize that there's always something. These people are crazy. It's not enough to be married, you have to have kids. Once you have kids, they must be smart, well-dressed and in sixteen extra curricular activities. You must also have a degree or two, even if you're a stay at home mom. Oh, and you have to be at least moderately successful. Plus, you have to be fit. And tan. Ugh. Every single woman there sported a fake tan. In NOVEMBER. But none of these parents seemed really "in tune" with their kids. Weird. Like, they've got the external packaging down (at least their understanding of what the package should be) but the insides is kind of empty. They're missing the point, in my opinion.

I'm clearly not "one of them" but I had some great conversations with their husbands and kids about superheroes, video games and Star Wars.

I met a handful of really great people but was just overwhelmed by yes, feelings of insecurity but also just this feeling that these people were shells of people. Not real at all.

All in all, not an enjoyable day.

Just thought I'd share that weird experience.

Oh, down another 6 tenths on the scale. Feast day, tomorrow is fast. I'm closing in on maintenance window again, and really feel like if this keeps up I might see goal again.

~Cheri