To tell or not to tell that is the question.......................

[Beach Lover 1,084]

Off topic warning:

Get this one: My mother is worried about me and the surgery (of course, it's surgery) so she used her old co-worker, since they were working in the hospitals a lot, to come and check on me the day after surgery! (My mother moved back in January) A woman I have never ever met, had no idea who was walking into my room and stayed for about 30 minutes doing laps with me in the hall way. I was too tired to be real angry because I know her heart was in the right spot but COME ON ...... don't send a stranger to me when I'm hooked up to a catheter with my butt flapping out of a hospital gown to socialize with me! My husband was pretty angry but he was too busy with the kids to really focus in on it. I told her it was awkward to say the least and left it at that.

Awkward................Ya think!!!

[LeaveItToSleever 80]

Off topic warning:

Get this one: My mother is worried about me and the surgery (of course, it's surgery) so she used her old co-worker, since they were working in the hospitals a lot, to come and check on me the day after surgery! (My mother moved back in January) A woman I have never ever met, had no idea who was walking into my room and stayed for about 30 minutes doing laps with me in the hall way. I was too tired to be real angry because I know her heart was in the right spot but COME ON ...... don't send a stranger to me when I'm hooked up to a catheter with my butt flapping out of a hospital gown to socialize with me! My husband was pretty angry but he was too busy with the kids to really focus in on it. I told her it was awkward to say the least and left it at that.

OMG, You're better than me. I'd be furious with my mother. I would have been screaming and paging the nurses station to remove the intruder... then blame your "overreaction" on the pain meds....

[ohh_mandyy 211]

I too have decided to not tell many people of my choice to have the surgery. I feel it is a personal decision and I don't need any judgement on what has been a life changing decision for me.

I do wonder how you guys explain to people how little you're able to eat when you are out in social settings. That's something I've struggled with so far.

[KatInFL 216]

I too have decided to not tell many people of my choice to have the surgery. I feel it is a personal decision and I don't need any judgement on what has been a life changing decision for me.

I do wonder how you guys explain to people how little you're able to eat when you are out in social settings. That's something I've struggled with so far.

It really hasn't been an issue for me, thus far. Admittedly, I have had more experience with barbeque/cook out type gatherings than I have sit down restaurants. I think there is the potential for more scrutiny when you are at a sit down restaurant.

At cook out type settings, I pick a little bit here and there with everyone else...fruit from the fruit tray, etc. No one has noticed I'm not eating the chips and dip. When it's time for burgers/hot dogs/etc, I eat my half a burger or hot dog or whatever it is that I'm having and throw away my plate when I'm done. No one has said anything about my not eating. It IS obvious that I'm doing something different, at 50+ lbs lost, so I think the general thought is just that I'm eating less and healthier.

~Kat

[1SlimSistah2 61]

Thanks for posting this because I feel somewhat uncomfortable "fibbing" but I also don't want it broadcasted...so I will document my walks like I've been doing on FB, my low-carb meals and that way people who follow me know I am eating better and exercising. I walk 2.35-3miles a day for 5 days and that's a lot of info. to share and the results will follow.

Only a few close friends know and my Mom, Sis, ex-boyfriend, and my niece. I'm comfy with that.

What a wonderful life...

[ChristineR 128]

We have to remember that once the newness wears off people won't inquire at all. Flaunt it and enjoy the compliments

[LeaveItToSleever 80]

I too have decided to not tell many people of my choice to have the surgery. I feel it is a personal decision and I don't need any judgement on what has been a life changing decision for me.

I do wonder how you guys explain to people how little you're able to eat when you are out in social settings. That's something I've struggled with so far.

Then don't tell people you are not *able* to eat more; tell them you are watching what you eat, and now you stop eating at a NORMAL portion size. Most people have NO IDEA what a portion size looks like, so this is pretty safe to say. Not that you owe any explanations, but I've used this one. I even act all disappointed that I can't eat more, and groan dramatically as I throw away a slice of pie after eating a forkful, which adds some fun to my otherwise boring secret.

[GypsyQueen 198]

My hubby has been blabbing. Got a phone call from his aunt today. At first I was horrified that all of his work friends, etc. knew, but he is so supportive and excited for me that it's hard to be mad.

[CocoM 7]

Too much energy spent worrying what others think. The time spent making up stories and over explaining could be spent doing something else. This subject unfortunately will never die. I'm comfortable telling others about my surgery.

[TwinsMama 483]

It is such a personal experience that there is no one right answer. I told everyone that needed to know (at work and in my personal life) and tell others if they ask. Turns out that was the right answer for me because I had complications and the support has been great.

No one (even pre-op) had anything negative to say. I guess since I could care less what others think that comes across and no one protests. Sure I know where my family and friends stand on the issue but I told them matter-of-factly so that shut down and potential judgement.

I feel really free having told people and through telling others I have helped many people I knew who were on the fence decide yea or nay. I appreciate a good friend trusting me with her decision years ago and now I hope that by me telling I'm helping others.

I do have to say though that I know people who are on both sides of the tell/not tell decision and it has never seemed someone was necessarily ashamed that didn't tell. More like they were much more private a person than I am. I'm willing to share it all if a person asks (I'm also a big researcher so I always feel people ask due to being curious rather than judgemental).