To tell or not to tell that is the question.......................

[Beach Lover 1,084]

I work for the local high school in my town and the day after school let out for the summer I had my surgery. I didn't tell a sole at school about it. I didn't want inquiring minds asking questions or passing judgement. I am now 4 weeks post op and down 25 pounds. I am hoping for at least another 10 pounds before I go back Aug. 19. The problem is what do I say when they notice the weight loss? I really just want to keep it to myself so do you think I can get away with saying it is exercise and proper eating?

[melissa130 135]

keep it to yourself!!! You will never regret it. You would regret telling them. There is no reason to give up the secret. I tell people I follow the Atkins diet and work out. I tell them I eat no junk food and very low carbs-- which is true.

Your new diet and lifestyle is what will get you thin--- the surgery is just helping you get there. Keep it to yourself--- you will be happier that way.

[luckysmomma 407]

I told no one, either. Everyone thinks I am going WW & the gym for the gazillionith time. I think my health is my business..I didn't want to worry family or friends...and I just honestly don't want anyone to know I had wls. You will get lots of feedback saying to be loud and proud about it...but the way I look at it..that's not the best route for everyone in this journey. Do what is best for you. Best of luck to you!

[Tiny One 223]

Other than my husband, 3 very close friends & my HR rep, no one else nows. Not even my twin sister or family. When folks ask how I lost, I say through healthier eating & exercise. It's been working for me thus far & i will continue to keep it hush hush. I think my approach has made this a very, very positive experience and I'm loving it.

[joatsaint 2,814]

Just remember, you can tell anyone about it at anytime. BUT, you can't untell them! Anyone that asks me about my weight loss, I just tell them the truth. I have drastically cut back on the amount of food I'm eating and I try to walk 10,000 steps a day.

[aliekat55 157]

I want to keep it to myself but people aren't dumb. eventualy they will figure it out. too big ( pun) a success to hide. I am hoping for a few months before i get grilled by my patients. After all after 23 years of being large all of the sudden i drop a ton of weight. not hard to figure.

[KatInFL 216]

I work for the local high school in my town and the day after school let out for the summer I had my surgery. I didn't tell a sole at school about it. I didn't want inquiring minds asking questions or passing judgement. I am now 4 weeks post op and down 25 pounds. I am hoping for at least another 10 pounds before I go back Aug. 19. The problem is what do I say when they notice the weight loss? I really just want to keep it to myself so do you think I can get away with saying it is exercise and proper eating?

You will hear from both perspectives on this. It's a hotly and frequently debated topic around here.

I say do what works for YOU. If you don't want other people to know, you certainly have that right. I mean, there's no expectation that people know all of our medical details. I didn't tell anyone when I had surgery to repair a hernia a couple of years ago nor did I tell everyone when I had to have surgery for endometriosis. In my mind, we all have the right to whatever amount of privacy works for us.

I've read implications that if you don't tell you aren't proud and I don't think that's true. I'm enormously proud of my progress and *I know how hard I've worked and the adjustments I've had to make in my life.

I have explained it like this, to the very few friends that do know I had VSG...it's not a secret, but it's private. It's something I don't want the general public to be privy to, partly because I feel like there's a lot of judgment that comes with WLS. Also, I didn't want the unending scrutiny of what I was eating, how much I was losing, etc. I still am not really comfortable with the attention when someone sees me for the first time in several months and notices the weight loss...I just don't love the attention.

I DID opt to tell a couple of my very closest girlfriends and my boyfriend. I told my siblings, one of whom spilled the Beans to my mother...who I hadn't intended on telling. Her response was "I didn't think you were THAT big. How much do you weigh, to warrant surgery? And are you *sure you have tried everything else? I know if you put your mind to it, you could do it the right way." All of the things I knew she'd say that I didn't want to hear.

I know that there's always the possibility that someone will tell someone else, in confidence of course, but if it happens, I will deal with it then. Again, do what works for you. If shouting it from the rooftops and being able to share your story works, then more power to you! If you would rather keep it quiet and not share, then do that. And you know what? You might change your mind about telling...and that's ok, too.

To this point, if anyone who I haven't shared with asks how I've lost weight (honestly, only one person has asked,,,most people just comment that I look good), I say I changed my eating habits and am exercising, both of which are true.

~Kat

[ChristineR 128]

I told people. How else was I going to explain a 50+ weight loss in such short times. If I say healthy eating and exercise it's still way too much and would be classified as the unhealthy way. I'm proud that I did the surgery and I don't really care what they have to say. But I don't run around yelling it on roof tops.

[BriDawn 79]

I worried myself sick about this before returning to work. Turns out, no one asked. They knew I had surgery and they obviously noticed the weightless but no one questioned it.

Well, one nosy coworker did. I told her I has PCOS (true) and I had surgery to help correct it and now I was on a strict doctor supervised diet. All technically true. The office does know I'm on a diet. But we're all pretty open and talk a lot about dieting and exercise. Some girls even exercise in the office!

Anyways, don't worry too much. I'm happy I didn't tell anyone though. I'm almost three months out and feel quite normal so I'd hate to have to deal with people constantly asking me about what I can and can't eat, how much weight I've lost, etc etc. I wanted to continue my normal life! My friends and family know and that's enough for me

[Heartonsleeve 32]

I think I will be honest about it and tell whoever asks about it. It may be they are asking because they are looking for help for themselves or another. Lying about it or keeping it secret makes it seem like it is something to be ashamed of. I do not believe it is.

[KatInFL 216]

I think I will be honest about it and tell whoever asks about it. It may be they are asking because they are looking for help for themselves or another. Lying about it or keeping it secret makes it seem like it is something to be ashamed of. I do not believe it is.

For me, this is simply not true. I'm not lying about it, I'm opting to keep it private.

Not one single person has asked me if I had weight loss surgery. Only ONE person has specifically asked me how I've been losing weight. I answered that I have changed my diet and I've been exercising, which is true.

I'm not at all ashamed of having VSG, just like I'm not ashamed of having had an unplanned ectopic pregnancy that required surgery, a hernia repair, or several surgeries for endometriosis. That doesn't mean that I think everyone in my workplace needs to know the details of my health or surgical procedures. Nor do I feel like it's my responsibility to be the poster child for weight loss surgery.

If it works for some people to tell everyone and they feel like sharing is their way of expressed pride in having had the procedure, that's fantastic.

I just think that opting to not tell everyone doesn't automatially equal shame or embarrassment. And a little appreciation for different perspective goes a long way.

~Kat

[camihsmith 18]

I have lost over 50 pounds since February... I didn't tell anyone preop because I didn't want anyone's perspective about if I'd eat right I'd lose weight or blah blah.... Now that I'm post op I have told people I had surgery only because I have dropped so quickly.... After I told a friend I did it she made the choice to do the surgery also... Of course I've had acquaintances say oh you took the easy way out to which I respond no I took the option best for me... I don't think having 75-80% of your stomach removed is the easy way out but that's just me... I needed a jump start and now that I have it there is no looking back!!!!

[melissa130 135]

I don't believe I am lying about it. I have restricted my food intake and started moving. Does it matter what helped me do it? I could have taken a certain medication/supplement that helped me feel fuller, and I would have kept that to myself too. The only people that really understand ..are people that have over 100 pounds to lose. Average weight people in MOST work places are very judgemental. And although I am not ashamed of what I did...I don't feeling like being judged and scrutinized every day. Unfortunately, there is a stigma to having weight loss surgery. And if you are the type of person that really doesn't care what other people say-- then that is great. But it is almost impossible to truly not care what others think because that is the whole gist of being human. Humans are social - they want to be validated--and accepted. It is a fact. You can easily drop 50 to 80 pounds in 3 or 4 months on the Atkins diet-- I did in the past. And that is what most of my co-workers think I am doing again. Which is fine with me.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Tell if u want. people will talk no matter what !!!!

[ChristineR 128]

Tell if u want. people will talk no matter what !!!!

This exactly. Of course, I forgot to mention that I don't work, I stay home with kids. I don't have the burden of the workplace and what-not so those that I told were friends. I would think that I would lean more towards keeping it private as well if I had to work.

The sad part is that anyone has to worry about being judged. We're judged for being fat, we're judged for having surgery .... it's kind of lose-lose. Back in the day when weight wasn't an issue I had a co-worker that had gastric bypass. People talked but no one said anything bad. My point though ... they still talk regardless because they can. A workplace with women is especially bad IMO.