Second Guessing!?

[MnM25 4]

I came across a you tube video that was talking about complications & someone dying which I know stuff happens. A lot of people were saying she was just mad she was denied by her insurance (she wanted the bypass) Anyways I then think about my son who is only 18months, had I not had him I wouldn't second guess this, but now I'm getting COLD FEET! I keep having the negative things go through my head, like if something happened to me I'd be leaving behind my 18mo old :0( ugh what do you guys to get over this because I'm sure I'm not the only one who has doubts!!!

[Rox 200]

No! You are not alone I have doubts every other day, and on the days I don't have doubts, someone else in my life has them. What I have found, is that when I talk to the other people having doubts, I end up reassuring myself that i'm doing the right thing.

[Sassygirl06 962]

I felt the same way. I have three children. I was worried that something would go wrong and I would leave them without their mother.....but then I had my moment, the thing that changed my mind. I knew I was going to die young. I knew that no matter what I was not going to be around for weddings and grandchildren. I was buying life insurance for when I died so that my children would be taken care of when I died. I realized then that rather then taking this small chance that something would go wrong ( statistics that I had were 1 in 400,000 ) but having the opportunity to be the mom I always wanted to be....or not going through with the surgery and know without a doubt that the quality of my time would be poor with my children and the quantity of my time would be lessened.

I realized it was worth the risk to be the mother they deserved, and could be proud of...rather then the mom that stayed on the couch all day tired and sleeping....and basically missing out on their lives anyways.

I thank god every day that I had the strength to go through with it! And I know my children are so proud of their mom...and what I can do with them now! good luck with your decision.

[notime 340]

It's perfectly normal to have doubts. When you do, remind yourself of why you are having the surgery. In my case, it was for better health. Since the surgery the results of my lab tests have all, and I do mean every one of them, have been within the normal range. I couldn't be happier about my surgery and glad I didn't let doubts get in the way of having it.

[VSGayle 33]

Yep...had lots of doubts...even the morning of surgery I almost backed out but I am SO glad I went through with it. I was so nervous that I even told my daughter (23) that one regret I would have had if there would have been major problems was that I wouldn't be able to see her trying on wedding gowns (and she doesn't have a steady boyfriend)...so we spent the day before my surgery trying on wedding gowns...lol.

I have been very fortunate with no complications and no sickness or lack of energy...I have felt great almost from day one. This has been such a blessing for me and for the first time in my life, I see light at the end of the tunnel...not only do I think I can lose the weight but for the first time I believe I will be able to keep it off.

Everyone has to make their own decision...but the morning of my surgery everyone came in and told me what a great surgeon I had and that calmed my fears quite a bit.

Good luck with whatever you decide...but for me it was the best decision I have made

[stephanie1678 80]

I realized then that rather then taking this small chance that something would go wrong ( statistics that I had were 1 in 400,000 ) but having the opportunity to be the mom I always wanted to be..

I think that statistic is way off. It is closer to 1 in 400 for death (which can be lower for an excellent surgeon or higher for a crummy one) and 20% for all complications combined (including skin rash). It is very similar to gallbladder surgery.

A scoring system recently developed by a Duke University bariatric surgeon appears to accurately predict which patients considering bariatric surgery are most likely to die from the procedure. The system adds up the following five risk factors; patients with four of them are six times as likely to die as those with only one:

• Body mass index. Patients with a BMI of 50 or more are at greatest risk.
  
• Gender. Men are more likely than women to suffer from conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, and metabolic disorders that can increase surgical risks.
  
• Age. Older patients, particularly the elderly, are known to be at higher risk for death after bariatric surgery.
  
• Hypertension. Patients suffering from high blood pressure typically have heart disease or chronic inflammation of blood vessels that can add to the risks of surgery.
  
• Pulmonary embolus risk. People who have had a blood clot in the lungs, or who are at increased risk for developing such a clot, are at elevated risk
  

You can greatly reduce your risk by choosing a surgeon who has done at LEAST 300 gastric sleeves (not just any surgery, but the sleeve in particular. A lot of surgeons quote their total surgery experience, which is useless. It is all about his experience with the sleeve!), and who has a close to zero percent leak rate.

And just because a surgeon is part of a bariatric center of excellence does not mean he is experienced or even a great surgeon. My local surgeon at a center of excellence has only done 35 sleeves. I chose not to go with him.

I think the OP's choice of surgeon qualifies as one who is experienced.

And to respond to the OP's question: I am scared too. Very much so. I guess it is normal to be afraid, but knowing that does not alleviate the fear. I am right there with you, fighting through that fear. Right now I keep telling myself that if I don't do it now, I will probably come back to it in a few years. At that time I will be older, heavier, and probably have more co-morbidities. The safest time for me to do it is now.

[Sassygirl06 962]

I think that statistic is way off. It is closer to 1 in 400 for death (which can be lower for an excellent surgeon or higher for a crummy one) and 20% for all complications combined (including skin rash). It is very similar to gallbladder surgery.

A scoring system recently developed by a Duke University bariatric surgeon appears to accurately predict which patients considering bariatric surgery are most likely to die from the procedure. The system adds up the following five risk factors; patients with four of them are six times as likely to die as those with only one:

• Body mass index. Patients with a BMI of 50 or more are at greatest risk.
  
• Gender. Men are more likely than women to suffer from conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, and metabolic disorders that can increase surgical risks.
  
• Age. Older patients, particularly the elderly, are known to be at higher risk for death after bariatric surgery.
  
• Hypertension. Patients suffering from high blood pressure typically have heart disease or chronic inflammation of blood vessels that can add to the risks of surgery.
  
• Pulmonary embolus risk. People who have had a blood clot in the lungs, or who are at increased risk for developing such a clot, are at elevated risk
  

You can greatly reduce your risk by choosing a surgeon who has done at LEAST 300 gastric sleeves (not just any surgery, but the sleeve in particular. A lot of surgeons quote their total surgery experience, which is useless. It is all about his experience with the sleeve!), and who has a close to zero percent leak rate.

And just because a surgeon is part of a bariatric center of excellence does not mean he is experienced or even a great surgeon. My local surgeon at a center of excellence has only done 35 sleeves. I chose not to go with him.

I think the OP's choice of surgeon qualifies as one who is experienced.

And to respond to the OP's question: I am scared too. Very much so. I guess it is normal to be afraid, but knowing that does not alleviate the fear. I am right there with you, fighting through that fear. Right now I keep telling myself that if I don't do it now, I will probably come back to it in a few years. At that time I will be older, heavier, and probably have more co-morbidities. The safest time for me to do it is now.

I was going off of what my doc had said, but as far as that number goes....that has to be way to high...or including other wls, not just the sleeve.

[Sassygirl06 962]

Asmbs.org has a great article on the outcomes and mortality rates, leak rates and complications....it also compares the sleeve to gastric bypass and banding. One study had 16000 patients with a mortality rate of .08% No matter what all studies are going to be off a little due to them having variables.

It is very important to find out the success rate of your own doctor,and how many surgerys he or she has preformed. Mine was very forthcoming with how many he had done, as well as his complication rate.

[SeaGirl 193]

I am afraid I won't loose weight, I'm afraid food will never taste good, I'm afraid my relationships with my family and friends will change.

Ok so last night I attended my first sleeve support group. At first I was freaked out.

Then I realized, this is me being normal for

Me. Of course I'm freaked out, and food and my relationship to it and my people will be different. Yup. And everything changed when I got sober years ago, and I'm alive and thriving and relatively happy as a result. This is similar. (deep sigh). So for today, I'm cool.

Love you guys.

[stephanie1678 80]

I was going off of what my doc had said, but as far as that number goes....that has to be way to high...or including other wls, not just the sleeve.

Nope, that is just for the sleeve.

[stephanie1678 80]

Asmbs.org has a great article on the outcomes and mortality rates, leak rates and complications....it also compares the sleeve to gastric bypass and banding. One study had 16000 patients with a mortality rate of .08% No matter what all studies are going to be off a little due to them having variables.

It is very important to find out the success rate of your own doctor,and how many surgerys he or she has preformed. Mine was very forthcoming with how many he had done, as well as his complication rate.

An average of about 1 in 400 according to most recent studies. Either way, a looooong ways off your original figure of 1 in 400,000

[ShrinkyDinkMe22 376]

Totally normal to have doubts. Like others have said.

My daughter was a few months shy of turning 3 when I had surgery in december.

I was a basket case. One day I was for it thr next day I wanted to back out. I was so afraid of complications and leaving my baby girl motherless would keep me up at night. But in my gut I knew I was making the right decision.

My surgery was on a Monday so Sunday morning before I had to start my bowel prep. Hubby brought our daughter to my sisters. I was balling my eyes out thinking I was never going to see her again. Even the morning of I cried a little on the way to the hospital.

Looking back did I overact a bit? Maybe. But that's my baby and I was scared.

Luckily all turned out great and I made it through.

But it's totally normal what you are feeling.

For me this was my first surgery which added a lot of anxiety.

[Sassygirl06 962]

An average of about 1 in 400 according to most recent studies. Either way, a looooong ways off your original figure of 1 in 400,000

The only thing with studies that is usually accurate is that they are usually proven wrong with another study...lol

What I was getting at is that my decision was based on the fact that I knew I was going to die young if I continued down the path that I was on...I was morbidly obese....morbid. Period. I was living a mediocre life...I wasn't doing the things with my children that I should have been. They were growing up without their mother anyways. I wanted to give myself and my family a chance at a better life. That to me was worth the risk.

It paid off for me...and as far as regrets go about this surgery....the only regret I will ever have is not doing it sooner.

[MnM25 4]

Thanks everyone! I never even thought to ask about leak rates! Still scared but I do look at it like some of you, if I stay the same it is not benefiting my son! I am one extremely emotional first time mom! Thanks again everyone for your personal comments! Much appreciated!

[MnM25 4]

Is it also weird to second guess having the surgery done in Mexico just in case something went wrong!?