Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is, and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is' date=' and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.[/quote']

I could have wrote this. I know exactly how you feel. I dread visits back home, but glad we live so far away from all of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This all made me laugh until people took it too seriously. yeah yeah yeah don't be hypocritical and all that and don't treat "them" in a way "we don't want to be treated, but the whole serious discourse in this thread pissed me right off. The skinny biatches are not discriminated against every single fricken day in the media and all over. it's not equal or the same on either side of this argument nor is it even within the argument. Someone said on here that they carried their extra weight for 3 years, well this has been a struggle my whole life...not three years. I don't know what it is to be a healthy weight. My mom started me binge/starvation dieting when I was 8. So yeah, when I hear someone who's NEVER walked this path complain, it makes me want to taser them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This all made me laugh until people took it too seriously. yeah yeah yeah don't be hypocritical and all that and don't treat "them" in a way "we don't want to be treated' date=' but the whole serious discourse in this thread pissed me right off. The skinny biatches are not discriminated against every single fricken day in the media and all over. it's not equal or the same on either side of this argument nor is it even within the argument. Someone said on here that they carried their extra weight for 3 years, well this has been a struggle my whole life...not three years. I don't know what it is to be a healthy weight. My mom started me binge/starvation dieting when I was 8. So yeah, when I hear someone who's NEVER walked this path complain, it makes me want to taser them.[/quote']

Ditto!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it ok to say "lighten up" on a weight loss forum? Lol

I think it's more than appropriate ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is, and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.

I could talk about my own weight (as a larger girl) around women bigger than me and it never once occurred to me that I was talking about anyone but ME. I can see how easy this would be for someone to do if they're focused on themselves.

I always held myself to a higher standard than anyone else. Bitching about my own weight at 250 pounds had nothing to do with how I felt about my friends that were larger.

It's a shame that in our society women bond and find common ground in tearing themselves (and sometimes others) down - that we bond by lamenting muffin tops and jiggly thighs and the fact that our boobs aren't as fabulous as we'd like them to be.

My body image issues started at age nine - well before I was a fat girl. In fact, they started back when I was the shortest and skinniest girl in my class and one comment from a catty girl ("You look pregnant in that outfit") started horrible insecurity in me.

So yes - these women are being thoughtless and they hurt your feelings. It's inconsiderate and it's bordering on cruel - and it's probably the same way they've been treated and treated each other for their entire lives. Being a different way probably never occurred to anyone. They are likely just as insecure as you are, as ridiculous as it sounds.

Because this is family I'd consider actually confronting the issue and telling them exactly how terrible it is and how it makes you feel - without making it sound as if you feel they were personally targeting you. Because they probably aren't.

It is so easy as a fat girl to forget that being fat isn't the only thing that makes women uncomfortable or insecure. Seriously - I FORGET I'm not the fat girl anymore. But ALL women feel ugly or fat or unloveable at times and we are all kidding ourselves if we act like it's only okay to feel that way and to openly seek validation or compliments or reassurance if we're actually fat or have once been fat.

I try to be careful about what I say now. I actually got chewed out by a woman the other day who was very overweight and complaining about her size and how people treat her. I commiserated about feeling that way at times and she gave me a glare and asked me what I knew about being judged for my size.

EXCUSE ME?!

Let us not make assumptions, here. And let us not jump from feeling mistreated and abused to doing it to other people, either.

I whipped out my wallet with my engagement photos and quietly told her that I did understand, and quite well, and then I walked away. She has twice tried to engage me in conversation and I have no desire to talk to her.

Why? Because I refuse to be judged for my size - now that I'm small - the same way I felt judged when I was larger.

This post may have started out all in fun. And that's great, and we can all commiserate because we've all met that one annoying size 0 girl hell bent on getting a compliment out of her plus sized friends about how pretty she is because deep down, she hates herself even thought she's got a skinny ass.

But it stops being funny when you stop treating people like people. It stops being funny when you group people according to appearance and assume they don't know what it's like to feel bad or even deserve to feel bad.

I could apply that flawed logic to everything in my life that's been a bigger struggle than the person next to me. I could say, well, I've been fat AND I buried a child, so your complaints or feelings are invalid, shut up, I'd like to taser you.

That's the point most of these serious voices are trying to get across here.

Gemini started this post as a joke and we can all relate to what she was saying. She did nothing wrong by posting it here.

But the thread has evolved into something else entirely. It's probably time to just let it die and move on.

~Cheri

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is' date=' and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.[/quote']

^^^^THIIIISSSSSS!!!!! Are we related? LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is' date=' and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.[/quote']

Oh my goodness, this is exactly how I felt with my in-laws!!! I was always the fat one at 240 pounds (5'4")standing around women ranging from size 2-8, and all would complain about how fat they were. Meanwhile I would just sit there quietly, embarrassed about myself. When my husband and I were going through a rough time, they all told him to "Leave that fat girl, she can't even give you kids". We have struggled 8 years with infertility issues, gone thru numerous IUI/Clomid, with no success, I have PCOS. Needless to say I was crushed,humiliated & above all hurt. I had never had any issues with anyone prior. I was actually the girl who always did favors for them & tried to advise them on going to school (I'm the only college grad in the family), I tried to be a positive influence but they couldn't get past my fatness. I'm a few weeks out of surgery, and the pounds are melting off. I thank God and my family for being supportive of my decision. In-laws have no idea about my sleeve & I can't wait to have them see the new me, the looks on their face will be worth every struggle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok soooooo there is my brothers second wife who is on this super gym rat kick, who has been overweight since I met her. I was 130 when she first came into the fold. A decade and change later she is sporting my old hair cut and on YouTube posting exercise videos like daily! WTF?!???! Anyhow... It pissed me off! This heifer decided to send me a bikini shot at the height of my pregnancy.... "Can u vote for me on this fitness site?" I wanted to kick her in the face.

She's a skinny BEOTCH NOW who thinks she's QUEEN OF ALL SKINNY BEOTCHES which I find comical!!!! Anyway had to vent.

Can't wait for her to feast her eyes on the brand new me after WLS. I am not telling anyone I had it. So when she gets tired of her fitness Quest.... And she will... Ill be back to still being skinny!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

PS when I was doing Bikrim yoga and jogging I wasn't BROADCASTING IT AND CONVERTING FOLKS LIKE I WAS BILLY BLANKS... I was silently doing me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol....I don't know why but it seems like people who shed the weight forget about that they still have a weight problem and nominate themselves as Queen Skinny B....like this one chick I know on Facebook talking about some bullshit a$s juice cleanse that she know very well had nothing to do with her weight loss (she has bypass a little more > a year ago) but yet she's flashing her before and after pics without mentioning the bypass! And now she's some sort of self proclaimed fitness expert lmao

The sad part is she's not skinny but she think she is...granted she's smaller but not skinny by definition. 5'5 and 180 something ain't skinny...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have read several stories about people that lost their excess weight with surgery then credited a product they're peddling. That should be a crime if it isn't imo. They are playing on the pain, desperation, and emotional scarring that many overweight people live with daily. Show me a drastic change in a before and after picture and I'll show you a line forming for that weight loss method. So sad that anyone would do this, especially since they have walked in those shoes and know firsthand how it feels.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol....I don't know why but it seems like people who shed the weight forget about that they still have a weight problem and nominate themselves as Queen Skinny B....like this one chick I know on Facebook talking about some bullshit as juice cleanse that she know very well had nothing to do with her weight loss (she has bypass a little more > a year ago) but yet she's flashing her before and after pics without mentioning the bypass! And now she's some sort of self proclaimed fitness expert lmao

The sad part is she's not skinny but she think she is...granted she's smaller but not skinny by definition. 5'5 and 180 something ain't skinny...

Girl you are cracking me up! That is too funny, but I know what you mean. I've definitely seen her type. Even people who haven't had WLS but lose some weight, the word is SOME not ALL that they need to lose and they suddenly see themselves as looking like Barbie and it just ain't so! I don't know what mirror they are looking in but they need to throw it out cause its lying BIG TIME!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol....I don't know why but it seems like people who shed the weight forget about that they still have a weight problem and nominate themselves as Queen Skinny B....like this one chick I know on Facebook talking about some bullshit as juice cleanse that she know very well had nothing to do with her weight loss (she has bypass a little more > a year ago) but yet she's flashing her before and after pics without mentioning the bypass! And now she's some sort of self proclaimed fitness expert lmao

The sad part is she's not skinny but she think she is...granted she's smaller but not skinny by definition. 5'5 and 180 something ain't skinny...

I have to agree with this I keep up with this one women from this forum and she's on Instagram saying how she did it and ppl ask her how and she acting like she is a fitness expert as well and I was shock because I be following here from the very beginning and to see her acted in this manner is something one time I commented and said I hope she staying true to her self she wrested that with the quickness

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people don't know what to do with a lot of attention. Going from invisible to getting tons of compliments may throw some people out of their minds. They morph into monsters

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×