Just annoyed

[julia7665 100]

I'm sorry, but I just need to vent. My husband has been really supportive the last few months through the whole process and I am so grateful for that. I had my surgery on 6/26 and it has been a week and he has been very helpful up until this point. But now he has been asking me when we can have sex. I didn't have the greatest sex drive before surgery, but I really don't feel like I am ready yet and I'm really not in the mood at all. Now he's complaining about me being grouchy, which pretty much I am because of him! He just doesn't get it. Today he told me that I should stop with the whining that my surgery was a week ago and apparently I should be completely recovered by now. He also pretty much told me that this was an elective procedure and I did this to myself. I am just so annoyed right now! Sorry for all the TMI.

[Cheer Mama 166]

I am sooooo sorry hun. I know that some men can seriously be so very self centered.

Talk to the doctor and ask him when sex will be safe. Then give this answer to your husband. You are still healing and don't want any of the staples or sutures to rupture and put you back in the hosp. I know that I wasn't able to lift anything heavy or to even start any kind of exercise for a month.

Good luck

[Dickens22 62]

This is major abdominal surgery and it is exhausting recovering. You are still pretty tender after one week. Maybe check with your Dr. for full release date

and compromise in the mean time.

[Kami63 215]

I'm sorry to hear that. I think men are not accustom to seeing us anything other than strong. If my man was acting like that I would tell him that he needs to shut up and be happy with the fact that I have done this to make my life longer and more healthy and that includes him. He can work through his funk by himself... But I also have made sure not to go too "woe is me either" but this is my second surgery and the pain is really getting me this time. He knows he not getting any for a while...lol

Hang in there. Life will get back to normal soon. I hope

[HappyCat 70]

Explain to him that it will be much better once you have had time to heal and build up your strength and stamina. This is a serious surgery and while it didn't cause him any pain, you are the one who went through it in order to get healthier and more active. The baby steps are at your pace and you will certainly let him know when you are ready. My husband was the opposite. He was so scared of hurting me and we waited five or six weeks. But, boy was it worth it for both of us! I, like you, did not have much of a libido for quite some time before the surgery. Just having that initial 25 lbs off made such a diffence in how I felt about myself, I can't begin to tell you. Your husband should be patient a little longer and it will be worth the wait. I wish you both well

[dicoyte 32]

Just wanted to say "thanks" - its nice to know that 1. I'm not the only one with a husband that doesn't think before opening his mouth and 2. Asking a question that not many would bring up for discussion! All I can add to everyone else's brilliant comments is - wait until you are feeling comfortable, only you know how you are really feeling and if he has too wait so be it. Better or worse sickness and in health lol

[julia7665 100]

Thank you do much everyone. I really needed that pep talk. We woke up this morning and he's pretty much acting like we didn't have a fight last night. I guess we will see how it goes. I am still very tender and tired. I haven't been whining that much, when I brought up sex, I just told him I had major surgery a week ago and that is when he brought up the fact that its been a week and that I am really starting to "stretch" that excuse out and then "reminded" me that it was my choice to have this elective surgery like I should be in any less pain because it was my choice! I yelled at him and told him I didn't want to hear him say that again because he really sounded like an a*****e. Thanks again

[2notbwinded 27]

Speak with your Dr. of course but on my paperwork it says "no strenuous physical activity, exercise or sex until the 1 month post op visit or until cleared by surgeon" Those are the exact words...