Tips for a Spouse

[HeyJupiter 8]

Hi Everyone -

I hope you all don't mind me joining the forums and posting a question.

My wife is in surgery right now for her sleeve procedure. I told her about this great site and the resources, but she probably won't check it out, but I assumed that since I am the one who cooks, preps meals and does a lot of the care in our house, that learning more is always good.

So here's my question...

If you could give some tips for the spouse of a sleeve patient during these first few weeks... what would they be?

I did a lot of research on Protein Shakes, meals, Vitamins, etc., but I would love some real life examples of things that helped, lessons learned or things to watch out for.

Thank you all so much! I look forward to having you all teach me!

[mokee 588]

First of all for the first few weeks her hormones will be flying so don't take any nastiness to heart. She may cry a lot. She may yell a lot. So beware. She is a very lucky lady to have someone to cook the right foods for her. Don't wait on her too much. She needs to be up and about as much as possible. My husband stayed home for a couple days but I took care of myself. She needs to sip fluids constantly that first week, very important. Best of luck to you both.

[HeyJupiter 8]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback.

I will definitely be sure to make sure she is up and moving. She said she plans to take short walks as often as possible.

She was crying in pre-op today getting ready for her surgery, so I am pretty sure her emotions are going to be all over the place Good to know it's totally normal.

[AmyInOrlando 348]

Just be patient and supportive.... she may have mood swings, temporary sleever's remorse, malodorous gas, not feeling hungry after you spend time lovingly making home made chicken broth (or just not liking the taste of it). Just be kind and gentle.

Wish her an uneventful and speedy recovery for me. It's admirable that you're spending time reading posts and finding out as much as you can about the whole process. I wish my boyfriend was as interested. He's supportive, but not at all interested in the details, just the results. And he's not happy that I'm going to Mexico for the procedure.

[cms213 119]

Wow I wish I had someone that wanted to take care of me after surgery, you're wife is a lucky lady!

The first few weeks are tough for the patient you are sore and don't have the same energy levels so reassure her this is part is temporary.

As far as food did the hospital give her a binder of what to expect and the stages of food? I had that and would follow it. There were recipes in the back that I never tried but it gave me ideas of what I could start eating.

Watch out for dehydration that seems to be pretty normal at some point get a little dehydrated. For me it was when I was thrown completely off my routine the 2nd week. Also Water tasted funny the first two weeks.

Those are the things I noticed from surgery but a lot of it she'll have to do on her own and figure out what works for her.

Good luck to her!

[Cajunlady12 49]

My husband thankfully is very supportive. He listens when I tell what I have read in all my research that I have done. I am reading a wonderful book and everytime I tell him something out of the book he listens and then asks more questions about it. Just hang in there for her. I have not had my surgery yet, but both my husband and I are looking forward to it.

[Sleevin'It 57]

First if all, thank you for being such a loving husband. Your wife is indeed a lucky lady.

My suggestions are the same as above. Her moods may be all over the place, but it's normal. She needs to move as much as possible, but she may have a hard time at first. It gets better. Encourage her to drink every hour or so, to keep hydrated. I had issues with gas, so I used gas-x strips, which helped. And make sure she takes her pain meds as needed.

Good luck to you both! I wish her a speedy recovery!

[gracensmommie 55]

What a lucky girl! I agree with all of the above posts.... On the emotional front, let her know how proud of her you are.... Tell her she's beautiful.... Etc.... My husband has done that and it's been soooo helpful!!!

[NancyDec20 212]

My hubby was here for me after surgery also... OMG I was so glad when he had his surgery LOL.. Im like dude.. let me do stuff for myself. I love him very much... he keeps me on track.. we walked and walked and walked.. as for the cooking.. well not much goes into broth.. other than "honey? beef or chicken? " LOL. but let me tell you.. it helps having a great support system..and thats what she needs the most.. good support.. telling her how great she is doing.. and how well she looks.. and keep up the great work im here for you.. Means a lot.. so your role is not just the cook.. you are her support. make sure she sips sips sips and walk walk walk.. and yeah I cried the morning of surgery... my poor hubby.. .bless you. best of luck to both of you in your new journey... and when in doubt of anything.. call the doctor

[ChristineR 128]

Just being there, letting her sleep, going on walks with her, not letting her overdo it. No bending for a while so any kind of help with cleaning and laundry goes a long way. She's very lucky Best of luck!

(Staying hydrated is key. Water first then Protein. Don't freak out if she can't get a lot of Protein in at first. It will come with time)

[jensjoy28 351]

My wife is in surgery right now for her sleeve procedure. I told her about this great site and the resources' date=' but she probably won't check it out

[/quote']

First, I wanted to say that I think it is great how supportive and invested in her success you are...that is not always the case...but, the above part of your post caught attention, and I wondered if you'd share why you don't think your wife will check this forum out?

[HeyJupiter 8]

First, I wanted to say that I think it is great how supportive and invested in her success you are...that is not always the case...but, the above part of your post caught attention, and I wondered if you'd share why you don't think your wife will check this forum out?

She is not much of a "joiner." She may lurk (maybe), but she definitely wouldn't get involved and post. She is just not into that kind of stuff. She is extremely private.

[Susie in Lima 320]

I agree with all of the above! I also want to encourage you to eat normally but don't eat things that would make her mad at you! haha Like pizza or her favorite food. She will eventually be able to deal with it but at first it is pure torture.

Encourage her to walk especially when she is having pain from the gas. GasX strips also help a lot! Walk with her and be a part of her exercise routine once she is up and about.

Thanks for being supportive. It does mean a lot!

Hoping great recovery for her!

[jensjoy28 351]

She is not much of a "joiner." She may lurk (maybe)' date=' but she definitely wouldn't get involved and post. She is just not into that kind of stuff. She is extremely private.[/quote']

Got it. Thanks! I think there are probably three lurkers for every poster...they'd probably tell your wife to lurk away as it is a great way to find info...except then they'd have to become a poster instead of a lurker :-).

As for a suggestion for you, there is a nice cookbook called "Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery" that provides tasty high-Protein, low-fat recipes with serving guidelines for each post-op eating stage as well as serving guidelines for Non-WLS people...is a nice way to be able to cook good food for everyone who is eating the meal :-)