Off my chest.

[NurseGrace 509]

I have been trucking along really well since my surgery on jan 22 but this past week something has happened that has totally knocked me off center and I am experiencing extreme physical and emotional stress. I just felt like someone here might have some insight or guidance because right now its really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am deeply depressed in a way I haven't been in years.

My husband and I have been sharing a home with my mother in law, paying rent in the form of paying some of their bills, etc. They have been having some financial issues and claimed bankruptcy about two years ago. The house was wrapped into the bankruptcy in an effort to save it. I guess my father in law could not afford the payments with the house and so he proceeded to remove it from the filing and quit paying anything on it, without really keeping anyone updated on the status of said action. Well, the inevitable happened and we were served papers to get out basically. Upset and blindsided doesn't even begin to explain it.....

I haven't lost a pound in 4 weeks. I have never been able to have weight loss when I am in this state of stress. Usually I gain, so I am going to claim the fact that I have remained stable as a victory. I am hoping to complete the move this week or next week. To make things worse, we got this great place but they haven't finished painting it or doing any of the cleanup that it needed and we have paid our deposit for July and I can promise you it's not going to be ready on Monday (july 1). The landlord is a nice guy, but he was out of the state this past week and he told us he would be so it was no shock or anything but the man he had hired for the job is dragging major ass and we have been having to do a lot of the painting and cleaning ourselves, which I WILL be charging for. Rentals should be clean when you move in, not in the same state the previous tenants left it in. Don't get me wrong, its not trashed but they had horrible taste in paint (maroon dining room, blueish grey hallways, baby blue office.....) and just general grime from life that they didn't clean well.

I don't know. I feel like this is all happening at the worst possible time, I was already struggling with a massive stall, and this is hitting me upside the head like a sack of bricks and I am terrified I won't bounce back.

[pottergirl 261]

A very stressful situation. Try to stay on track. This is the time to journal. This will pass...you will get into your new place....you will turn it into a home...it will get better. In the meantime try to stay focused on your healthy lifestyle.....life throws stress out way....you can ride this out and break that stall. Maybe this new chapter will be amazing for you.....good luck...it will be alright

[JoiaRox 430]

While I can't speak to the same circumstances, I'm also going through somewhat of an awkward move. When my boyfriend and I moved into this house last August, we signed a 2-year lease. I was confident in my employer and we had decided to "settle" into this area. Lo and behold, I was laid off right before Thanksgiving with a Dec. 31 end date. I spent time looking for new work and, thankfully, was re-employed at the end of January...but in a different state. Granted, the Washington, D.C. area has many states nearby - I thought I could commute the 38 miles to my new office in Maryland (I'm in Virginia now), but the traffic of this area is making me spend 3-4 hours a day on the road (for a total round trip mileage of only 76 miles!!). I got to the point, immediately pre-op, where I just couldn't keep spending my life commuting and asked the property manager for my place if we could break the lease.

We were allowed to break the lease, but (a) I'm losing my entire deposit ($1,650) to "re-listing fees," ( I have to pay rent on this house until someone else takes over and ( I have to pay utilities here until someone else takes over - this is all in the effort not to cost the property owner a dime because of our inability to complete the lease. I had my surgery on June 7 and have been stressing about the "what if" since then.

Luckily, we found and were approved for a home in Maryland last weekend, but we won't sign the lease until July 7. We were hoping to get out of this house in mid-July to allow the owner time to clean the house properly for a new tenant, but our new home won't be ready until August 1 (I'm hoping that when we sign the lease on July 7, we can negotiate a few days earlier - even if we have to clean our new home ourselves). Of course, our current property manager just e-mailed yesterday and said someone has been approved to move in to our current home (yay!)...and how soon can we be out?!

Ugh. The cost of staying in a hotel and putting our things in storage is not cost effective. I told him we planned to leave July 31, as our new home wouldn't be ready to move into until August 1. I told him we *could* be out earlier if it was absolutely necessary, but told him that would not be ideal. His reply e-mail? "It is what it is."

I'm completely stressed about the transition - I'd love to get out earlier so that they can clean, paint and have someone move in by August 1 - wouldn't cost me a dime more in rent, utilities, etc. (I'd still lose my deposit - although I'm curious to see THAT bill because my boyfriend was the one who did all the house showing - we haven't seen the property managers). Every day into August that someone does NOT move in will cost me more money. And, of course, it could be that the people who were approved don't want to wait that long to move in, so they may say "screw it" and then we're right back to where we started in showing the house and looking for a new tenant to take over the rent and utilities.

I'm hoping all of the timing will be settled up after we sign our new lease on July 7, but it SUCKS not being able to make my moving plans, budget plans, etc. In the meantime, I know my surgery bills from June 7 will start rolling in after insurance processes and pays their parts, so I'm trying to make this move and lease breaking be as CHEAP as possible so that I have money leftover to start working on hospital bills.

Perhaps that's why my scale has stalled for awhile? Damn you stress.

As I see it, I agree with what you wrote - the fact that my weight hasn't gone UP is a victory. I know things will eventually settle, we'll both be happily in our new homes, and some new stressor in life will appear. We'll continue to fight for our health, regardless. I remind myself to keep choosing the right foods (Protein, fluids) - the weight WILL come off.

[kw2walker 211]

I am moving in July I pray I get the key on the 6th I want to go in clean the kitchen and bathroom and begin moving. It will be a mad dash to get it done.

I'm lucky that I'm in the same complex but its moving just the same. I have pre-op testing on my mind, having thoughts that they will find something and postpone surgery. But I have to keep pushing on.

Hope things work out for you both.

[ReadyNewM3 112]

Good luck people, keep in touch

[AmyInOrlando 348]

You can't change what's happening, but you can take some time for yourselves... Grab your phone or IPod, headphones and play some upbeat music. Go for a walk and get rid of some of that stress. Get a massage or a pedicure if you can fit it in your budget. Just do something special for yourselves and Relax.... Even if it's just for an hour, you'll feel better. ((((Hugs))))

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

never able to have weight loss when I am in this state of stress.

NurseGrace

hope your personal problems improve sooner than later

what a mess dealing with moving/financial issues while you are trying to stay diligent with your eating plan

stalls are always hard to deal with - especially while you are going through extra problems

the "devil" wins if you give in, and start eating poorly, not drinking et al

you never know when a wrench can be thrown into your happy life

you/me/we need to continue our new eating/drinking lifestyle especially through hard times

i know thats easier said than done!!!!

do the best you can with eating/drinking

I have confidence in you,

take care

good luck

kathy

[pnutbuttrkitty8 5]

You can do it u just got to stay focused !!aube ur landlord doesn't no the guy he hired is dragging ass if he's outa state? I'm sorry ur in such a crap situation but as soon as u relax and starting thinking its all going to work out it really does start to work out! Lol