i am such a hypocrite!

[kchristian 64]

Ever since I had surgery (6 weeks ago) I have become the world's largest hypocrite! 8 weeks ago (before my pre-op diet) I was eating right along with the rest of my overweight household. I didn't look at or really care what anybody else in my house was eating, I was indulging just as much. Now, it's a totally different story. It's almost like I have food blinders on. I look around and see food everywhere, it's like I'm actually aware of the sheer amount of crap that lays around this house. chips, candy, Cookies, etc - you name it! I don't want to eat it, the thought of most of it is revolting, but I'm sitting here watching my husband, stepdaughters, and 2 roommates we have right now just stuff their faces. It makes my physically ill. I think it's partially because my husband promised he would go on a diet when I had surgery, but I've yet to see him even give it a small try.

I'm just wondering if this will feeling will go away. I constantly have to keep my mouth shut because I want to scream at people "DO YOU REALLY NEED THAT 3RD DONUT?" Has any body else dealt with this? I feel like I have absolutely no place in saying anything to anybody. I'm NOT any better than they are just because I decided to do something about my weight and unhealthy eating habits, but it just bothers me to no end. It's almost like I've been "shown the light" and I want to share it with everybody else around me, but no one else cares one bit. So I just sit here, day after day, internally rolling my eyes and making silent gagging noises as the feasting around me continues. God help me, I seriously think I'm going crazy!

[aliekat55 157]

I had a smaller version of this earlier this week. I have been working on eating tiny bits and chewing twenty times, putting my fork down between bites in prep for the surgery.

at a business meeting i all of the sudden was seeing how other people eat. the huge chunks of food they were stuffing into their mouths. how one chew and it was down. At one time I wanted to say, hey guy are you really going to put that huge piece in your stomach , do you have no respect for it? yet that was me, squared! only a few weeks ago.

I needed the humility, for i can't even manage my own eating. Whom am it to tell others how to manage theirs.

alex

[Kami63 215]

I am not post op for vsg yet but the same thing happened to me when I first got my lapband. I was so disgusted by the amts of food people were able to eat. It got better over time. I am sure it will be the same again for me postop but this time I am prepared!

[kchristian 64]

I needed the humility, for i can't even manage my own eating. Whom am it to tell others how to manage theirs.

alex

exactly! I don't understand why right now, I'm so automatically judgmental. I hate it, it's really driving me crazy, but I can't seem to stop thinking that way. I just hope someone comes up with some ideas or I'm going to be logging some serious counseling hours! lol

[KatieOkieDokie 171]

No you're not a hypocrite. If you were you would be eating all the same things they are, but putting them down for doing it. At least that's what I believe. It's aggravating when someone says they are going to, or they want to change, and lose weight but choose to do nothing about. Wouldn't that make them the hypocrite?

[Firëfly 39]

When you look at it from this side, it is crazy the amount of food the old us and everybody else consumes. I think, "Gosh, no wonder why everybody I know is on a diet or worries about their weight to a certain extent." It would be worse for me if I was living with foodies and had to watch them continue to eat like I used to and know that they are heading to a dark place.

I know it's hard watching that but is there a way how you can adapt some of the food choices in the house to make some of the good stuff a regular substitute for the bad? I know on this site that there are recipes for Protein ice cream, low-carb dishes and Snacks that might be an option to steer them in another direction? Is there a way to get them to at least try something new that would be better for them?

I don't know if any of that will help or just listening does on it's own. (((hugs)))

[kchristian 64]

No you're not a hypocrite. If you were you would be eating all the same things they are, but putting them down for doing it. At least that's what I believe. It's aggravating when someone says they are going to, or they want to change, and lose weight but choose to do nothing about. Wouldn't that make them the hypocrite?

You're right. I guess I was thinking more about the "pre-surgery" me. I don't know what a good word would be for what I am right now. I'm just trying to avoid getting a "holier than thou" attitude. I just need to focus on myself and my eating and try to offer advice if I'm asked, but other than that I need to zip it.

[kchristian 64]

I know it's hard watching that but is there a way how you can adapt some of the food choices in the house to make some of the good stuff a regular substitute for the bad? I know on this site that there are recipes for Protein ice cream, low-carb dishes and Snacks that might be an option to steer them in another direction? Is there a way to get them to at least try something new that would be better for them?

Funny you should bring that up, because I do! We've switched out a lot of bad stuff for good stuff during our grocery shopping excursions. The problem is this - my 2 roommates, I don't really have control over - they go and buy all kinds of junk with their own money, so nothing I can really do. My oldest stepdaughter just turned 18 and her and her boyfriend, it seems like all they do is eat. They go out to eat like 3 times per weekend and now that she has a job, she is buying her own junk food.

I'm just SO scared for everybody here. There are 7 people in this house and the only one that is not overweight is my 22 month old daughter! I've watched my oldest stepdaughter balloon up in the past year. I think she has probably gained 50 lbs - and it's not from our groceries. It's all the Snacks and Desserts & stuff she buys herself. I know the road she's headed down and I really don't want that for her. My 2 roommates are each like 80 lbs overweight, one of them has lupus and I see how badly her weight affects her lupus. My husband - well, that's a WHOLE different forum topic LOL. I just wish he would keep promises he makes me.

[belladona 153]

lMAO LOVE THIS POST, SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE FEELS THIS WAY. THAT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE BEING A BIATCH

[TaniaB 37]

Just keep doing what your doing and as they see you losing weight and feeling better they may get on board and if your doing the grocery shopping but healthy high Protein Snacks slowly bring up the subject of hey why don't we do this together, but I wouldn't push it.

[gmanbat 5,889]

I was disgusted by the slack bellies after surgery. I pictured Jaba the Hut slamming frogs down his big mouth. I guess the view is different after you get out of the hog pen and sit up on the fence watching the other oinkers.

I am at peace now. The world is not me and I am not them. I don't run their lives and they certainly don't run mine. I do not envy them from my slim body and niether do they disgust me.

[marfar7 1,533]

I HOPE I become that conscientious post surgery! My husband is the same way. Constantly telling me how many carbs are in stuff, how many I need (and his version and my own version are totally opposite). He can't wait till I get my surgery so I'm NOT bringing junk into the house. Even after my band, I ate crap. Just much, much less of it. The first time when I had my band, I was single and didn't have to watch anyone else eat. But when I started dating (after a yr and loss of about 80 lbs) and going out to eat, I noticed how much everyone else ate. I was eating the same thing, but like I said - much less of it. Now that I'm married (to an Atkins wannabe carb phobe) (he lost 80 lbs from eating Atkins, whatever works for him), I have to watch him eat after surgery. Thank God he doesn't eat much junk (just meats, cheeses and veggies) or I'd be bummed!

I just hope I look at junk and say "ewe"!!!

[LifetimeLoser 208]

I live this every day. I've always been very aware of my surroundings. My husband is about 50 pounds over weight. He also promised he would change his lifestyle after I got surgery. I am 5 months post op and he has just recently started doing cardio a few times a week. I watch him everyday in disgust as he stuffs his face. I absolutely hate going out to eat because I get so frustrated with the money I have to spend on getting something when I only eat like a fourth of it and with the choices that I am usually presented. When we go out to eat I sit there and watch him shovel the food in his mouth. I feel like a hypocrite because I used to shovel food into my mouth too!!! He doesn't even chew. I have only recently started saying small things...basically the things I've learned from my psychologist like smaller bites, chewing my food 30 times, putting my fork down. I've seen him try to slow down, but he has admitted there is no way he is going to chew his food 30 times. I am constantly disgusted by myself, knowing that I used to be like all these people around me. I notice everyone around me and how they eat. I don't purposefully try to look at them, but when you have to sit there and eat super slow and chew your food and wait its hard not to look around because you have nothing else to do. I am usually done eating before everyone else so even more so I am looking around at other people.

It is really sad that society eats this way. We are rushed by everything...time, children, jobs, agendas...no wonder we just rush through eating.

I can't really blame my husband because I used to be like that. I just hope that he puts more effort into eating slower and practice mindful eating. It is not healthy! He only eats once or twice a day and it bugs me.

I understand how you feel.

[karpouzian 94]

Kchristian, I've got the feeling I'll be the same way. My wife is overweight (don't tell her I said), but nowhere near as bad as I am, and I've got this feeling I'll be doing second glances at everything she eats after the surgery.

[Nelly1828 17]

I seriously thought I was the only one. I see people on Instagram and Facebook post greasy pizza and wings, Pasta fries and all this food! And I think to myself "smh they don't love themselfs" seriously! And it bothers me even more that people who are obese do it ! Like seriously ! Don't you care about yourself your just flaunting it out to the world to see exactly why it is you have gotten where you are! Then I feel guilty because I feel I have no place!