Looking for something....

[Angel465 1]

Hello, my name is Angel, I am 37 years old. I am considering VGS surgery. It is really hard for me to even say that, and I feel like I should be ashamed, like I couldn’t do something on my own. I have spent years trying to lose weight. I have not seen the other side of 200 since high school. I have recently hit my highest weight of 335 pounds. I am so scared of surgery, and when you mention it to loved ones the first thing people seem to want to tell you is that you are going to die, or they know someone who was related to someone’s father’s sister’s uncle that died in surgery or complications of surgery. There is so much fear out there, but I had a daughter a year ago and the thought of not being around for her is the worst. I am torn between being here for her like this and not playing with her the way I want, or getting this surgery and risking my life, but possibly having the chance to be the Mom I want to be. I don’t want to do this to look hot; I know I won’t ever wear a bikini. I just want to be able to ride a sleigh in the snow with my kid. When I was pregnant, I didn’t gain barely any weight, because I had to eat a certain way, for my baby to be healthy. I had a great pregnancy, no problems at all despite my weight of 265. That experience has shown me that if I have to eat a certain way, because my body is demanding it, I will. So I started thinking of VGS, because I think I am the kind of person who will follow the rules and eat what I am supposed to, because I have too. I guess I am just looking for encouragement; I am sooooo scared and have no support. Everyone around me that I have mentioned this to is acting like I am giving up or something. I am attending a seminar next week. It is my first step and then I will see. I know my insurance will cover it, and I love my hospital. I am just scared and not wanting to give up on the idea that I can lose 150+ pounds on my own… though the most I have ever managed was 65…. Sorry for the long winded entry… just looking for something…courage I guess. Is it like this for everyone? I just want to know that I am not alone in this...

[thinathart 197]

I know it is scary, but it is truly the best decision I have ever made for myself.

I chose not to tell anyone (other than hubby and best friend), just because it was hard enough to follow through with the decision without everyone giving unsolicited advice about it. I'm so glad I did it and that I didn't share with many people.

[Susie in Lima 320]

First off, I am sure that there have been people that do die from this surgery but I havent known nor heard of any. But with all surgical procedures, there are those risks that you have to decide if you are willing to take. For me, I was killing myself anyway with food and the problems that my weight was causing so for me, this was the obvious choice.

Do your research, ask lots of questions and dig into this website and ask questions here too.

I can honestly say that it has been the best thing that I could have done. Yes there are issues but I am so thankful that i have done this for myself and for my family. I can now keep up with the kids and the husband and dont have to sit on the sidelines anymore!

Hoping that you will know what to do very soon!

[rebecca_dsu 241]

Hey there Angel,

Did you know you are more likely to die in a car crash than during surgery? I do encourage you to do research on the doctors in your area and talk to some of their former patients... don't up your chances of complications by going with a doc that doesn't have good reviews.

You possibly could lose the weight on your own... I certainly tried for 6 years, and lost a good chunk. But if I would have had the sleeve to begin with, I would have been to goal for a long time already. Plus, what is the likelihood of you keeping the weight off, even if you did lose it? Do you have a good track record of dieting and gaining it back plus some like a lot of us? The sleeve will not only help you lose the weight, but keep you from over eating once you are at goal.

It's your decision... but don't let the fear of surgery keep you from being sleeved. And there are 100's of people on this site who didn't die from the surgery...so take our numbers to your relatives/friends

[prayergirl 55]

Hi Angel,

I didn't come to a quick decision about the surgery. I had been doing Weight Watchers and had lost 70lbs. and then just seemed to get stuck there (thank God I was able to keep that off). I was researching and came upon this site. I got lots a great info on this site, but still, I wasn't sure. It's a huge decision. I then had a Dr. appt that required follow-up lab work. Two weeks later was my follow-up appt. I had lost 10 lbs. in those two weeks, and was sure my Dr was going to applaud me. Well, to my surprise, not only did she not mention my weight loss, but she said she thought I should have WLS! I have Kaiser, so we have this 12 week Options classes we have to take before anything else. I told her I really wanted to try it on my own, but I'd go through the classes and have an open mind. I finished the classes in early Dec. 2012 and I still was on the fence! I kept putting off the calls to meet w/ surgeon. I finally met with the surgeon on Jan 18th. He seemed like a great guy, great record, I asked tons of questions, and still, wasn't sure! I kept getting calls to schedule the surgery, I told them I was thinking about it. Well, to make a long story short (too late, I know ) I spent the next 3 months really discerning my options, praying a lot and I came up with the decision to go ahead with the surgery. I was met with some negative comments, but that didn't deter me. I had my surgery on June 4th and even though it is not long after, I think it was the best decision i ever made. The surgery is a tool to help you lose weight. You still have to do the work, it just makes it easier. I find that I can barely eat anything and I am full. That, alone, was worth it!

You have to make this decision for yourself, but always know, there are people here who are kind and supportive. You can ask anything and you will get answers. i will keep you in my prayers as you embark on your decsion making process. Best of luck to you!

[kimmysmash 2]

Hi Angel. You are not alone. I too felt ashamed and scared when I finally made my decision. More like I was in denial since I kept telling myself that I could lose it on my own at 5'4" and 380 pounds. Don't feel ashamed, admitting that you need help is the first step in the right direction. Go to the seminar next week and see what they have to say. My husband was against the surgery at first but once the surgeon said stay fat and die or get sleeved and live, it changed his attitude and now he is very supportive. It sounds like you are prepared for the change in diet to follow and if your insurance will cover it then what do you have to lose? Good luck to you and hugs.

[Kimmy1813 77]

Angel, you are definitely not alone in this. I too felt that I was giving up in some way when I finally decided that I need to have this surgery, but after really thinking about things, I came to the conclusion that I am saving my life by doing this. Yes, there are risks associated with the surgery and I'm not going to lie, I am terrified because I have never had surgery before. But I'm definitely going to die if I don't do something about my weight. I can lose the weight on my own, but I can't keep it off. Every time I lose, I gain even more back. I have had high blood pressure and high cholesterol for several years. I started the process in January and during all of my required testing, I found out I am pre-diabetic and also have severe sleep apnea. So, I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb. I decided the possible complications of surgery definitely outweigh the guaranteed death sentence I have right now. Hopefully, I will be starting my new life as a sleeved person by the end of July

I'm sorry that people have not been more supportive when you mention VSG; some people may not really understand what it entails, while others may not be supportive with anything you try. Just remember, you are doing this for you and your daughter, not those other people. There are a lot of people on this site who are very encouraging and helpful, so if you have questions, just ask.

Welcome to the forum

[Angel465 1]

Thank you all for your kind reassuring words. I have so many fears ranging from will I be bald, to will I be more unhealthy after. I hope in the months to come, that I can find the answers and the courage to make the right decision. I look forward to reading your stories and getting to know others like me.

[Ms.Cali 56]

What helped me make my decision was on old fashion pro and cons. My cons list was much longer.

I had some complication with the surgery but I'm back on track and lost about 70% of the excess weight.

Don't let fear be a factor. Make the decision based on the facts on your pro and con list. Your running a higher risk not doing anything about it.

Good luck with the decision - that was the hardest part for me.

[Angel465 1]

Thank you, I think I will make a pro and con list. It may be the clearest way to see if this is the right thing for me to do, and get over my fear.

[deedadumble 1,033]

The utter, indescribable relief of not having to decide what diet am I going to try (and fail at) next has made this the best decision I have ever made. I am 5 months out and so at peace with my decision to have this surgery. I hope that you can get over the feeling that the choice is something to be considered as "failure". 95 percent of all dieters end up regaining the weight they lost (and usually gain more). Just like someone with a disease would choose to get treatment to cure that disease, you are choosing a smart treatment to hopefully cure you of the disease of obesity. My choice pre surgery was to not discuss it with people that lacked even the most basic information about the procedure. They had no information to add to the discussion, so why discuss it? I second the recommendation of writing out the pros and cons. This will help you decide if your making the right decision for you.

[tinalawson 1]

I always felt that surgery is taking the easy way out! It's not!!!!! It is the hardest decision that I have ever made but let me tell you I would do it again in a heart beat! You have to do what's right for you but there is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone was actually proud of me for making my decision and following through.

[DonRodolfo 1,416]

Hello, my name is Angel, I am 37 years old. I am considering VGS surgery. It is really hard for me to even say that, and I feel like I should be ashamed, like I couldn’t do something on my own. I have spent years trying to lose weight. I have not seen the other side of 200 since high school. I have recently hit my highest weight of 335 pounds. I am so scared of surgery, and when you mention it to loved ones the first thing people seem to want to tell you is that you are going to die, or they know someone who was related to someone’s father’s sister’s uncle that died in surgery or complications of surgery. There is so much fear out there, but I had a daughter a year ago and the thought of not being around for her is the worst. I am torn between being here for her like this and not playing with her the way I want, or getting this surgery and risking my life, but possibly having the chance to be the Mom I want to be. I don’t want to do this to look hot; I know I won’t ever wear a bikini. I just want to be able to ride a sleigh in the snow with my kid. When I was pregnant, I didn’t gain barely any weight, because I had to eat a certain way, for my baby to be healthy. I had a great pregnancy, no problems at all despite my weight of 265. That experience has shown me that if I have to eat a certain way, because my body is demanding it, I will. So I started thinking of VGS, because I think I am the kind of person who will follow the rules and eat what I am supposed to, because I have too. I guess I am just looking for encouragement; I am sooooo scared and have no support. Everyone around me that I have mentioned this to is acting like I am giving up or something. I am attending a seminar next week. It is my first step and then I will see. I know my insurance will cover it, and I love my hospital. I am just scared and not wanting to give up on the idea that I can lose 150+ pounds on my own… though the most I have ever managed was 65…. Sorry for the long winded entry… just looking for something…courage I guess. Is it like this for everyone? I just want to know that I am not alone in this...

You're not alone and a lot of us here at VST are each other's support. I hear what you're saying and I've been where you've been. I've lost 50lbs before with just a little effort only to gain it back again and then some. I was tired of that and this sleeve gives me a fighting chance this time. I don't care if others think I took some sort of shortcut or cheated or whatever, I didn't do it for them.

As for dying, I know someone here that experienced someone dying when she had surgery and it shook me to hear that. I won't out her so she'll have to speak for herself if she sees this. All I had to do is remind myself of all the reasons I did this and the fact that at the rate I was going I was going to die sooner than later anyway and it was not going to be pleasant. It was a chance worth taking for me, I don't regret it, and would do it again in a heartbeat.

[Lap2sleeve 28]

I'm 51 years old, female and happy with life, career and family. However, my weight has always been an area of my life that I struggle to manage. I've lost 80-100 lbs multiple times in my life. I'm currently 5'3" and 198 lbs.

There are many doors that open up to us that enable us to improve our lives and contribute to the lives of others. I've had an opportunity to elect sleeve surgery and I'm going for it. I felt like a failure because I had the band in 2006 and went from 265 to 200 lbs, but never sustained an ideal weight. With my God's help I will accomplish the goal of being an ideal and healthy weight. When you're ready you will feel at peace with your decision. You will not feel the need to justify or even tell anyone that you had surgery. It is not the easy way out! I've done a lot of reading - you will still have to exercise and manage your food intake. What I'm looking forward to is the maintenance part of this as I see the sleeve as a tool for management of weight long term. I can lose weight all day long, but this tool is going to help me manage my weight long term.

Be at peace....

[Angel465 1]

Thank you all for the support. I am going to a seminar on Wednesday 06/26 to get a clear picture of what this procedure entails. I probably should have mentioned also that one of my biggest issues as well is that I have an identical twin sister. It looks like my insurance may cover the procedure, but she is sure hers wont. I am getting a lot of flak from her, and she says that she is going to prove to me that we can do this on our own... she weighs almost the exact amount as I do, and we tend to sabotage each other. I really want to do this, but I am terrified of being different from my sister for the first time in my life, and I wish I had her support. We have always done everything together but we are very opposite when it comes to this.