sparker 11 Posted June 17, 2013 My surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning and I am still not sure that I am doing the right thing. I'm afraid. Not of death but of never being able to enjoy meal again. Never being able to be a part of family get togethers, eat a cookie at Christmas, or drink a soda at a ball game. Even more I'm afraid of being one of the horror stories I've seen on this site. Unable to eat or drink, thinner but sick all the time. I've prayed and prayed about this to find peace about my decision but so far I haven't found this peace. Last night I dreamed about it all night long. In this dream my brother (who has been very supportive) and even my late mother both expressed concern that this wasn't really what I wanted and they didn't want me to go through this just because everything was all approved and ready to go. I don't know what to do. I only have 24 1/2 hours to decide. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeezJeanz 1,065 Posted June 17, 2013 Sparkler, honey, I'm sry to hear about what ur going through, so I pray that what I say will help you w ur answer. Let's start w this, was it hard to get approved? If not, then know that changing ur mind now is ok bc u can get it ltr if need be, n ltr cud mean 2 months, few wks. 2 yrs...ur choice. If it was hard getting approved then think of it in a positive way and just say, perhaps its not meant to b right now. Ik uve read bad stories, so have I, but don't base all of ur decisions off of this forum...do research and speak candidly w ur wls team. Now as I see it, the most imp part of it all, you said that u prayed for guidance, Amen, I always do that too, but if ur still not getting the peace from God that u prayed for, n only u n He know the peace u prayed about, then the answer is a clear No. U said ur dream said no, God comes to us in many ways, if we allow ourselves to listen, I do....I pray that u do too. If ur still struggling against the surgery, don't do it now! It does NOT HAVE TO B DONE TOMORROW BUT WHEN YOU R READY! THE surgeon wont even miss a beat bc ur not there. This journey is urs n urs alone, we support u but won't pressure you here. Please lmk what I can do for u, I'm a faith beliver n u came here for a reason. Be strong n know that when ur rdy to make a change in ur entire body, mind body soul, u won't question it...xxxxx, Dee Dee n God Bless You. 1 dork reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futureloser 190 Posted June 17, 2013 I can feel your fear- we all have it. Only you can decide if this is the time to change your life. I am 3 mos out and had no issues- no nause, no pain, no vomiting. I am losing at a decent rate. But, things can go wrong and you are aware of them. Your social life in regards to eating will be different, at least for a while. If you don't think you can mentally handle being restricted, not being able to order a 7 course meal, living on chips and cheeseburgers, then it's not time yet. You will be able to eat what you want- you will learn not to want it anymore. Good Luck! 1 DeezJeanz reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FeeIsMe2 508 Posted June 17, 2013 My surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning and I am still not sure that I am doing the right thing. I'm afraid. Not of death but of never being able to enjoy meal again. Never being able to be a part of family get togethers, eat a cookie at Christmas, or drink a soda at a ball game. Even more I'm afraid of being one of the horror stories I've seen on this site. Unable to eat or drink, thinner but sick all the time. I've prayed and prayed about this to find peace about my decision but so far I haven't found this peace. Last night I dreamed about it all night long. In this dream my brother (who has been very supportive) and even my late mother both expressed concern that this wasn't really what I wanted and they didn't want me to go through this just because everything was all approved and ready to go. I don't know what to do. I only have 24 1/2 hours to decide. I'm sorry you're feeling this way... I was sleeved in October and enjoyed Christmas dinner (not stuffed to the gills like previous years) but I enjoyed it. Get togethers are exactly that getting together and enjoying each others company. Yes you will not be able to eat like you use to, but isn't that the whole reason for the surgery in the first place. Try to remember why you decided to go thru this whole process in the first place... Good Luck! 1 MrsPierre reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dork 114 Posted June 17, 2013 I too was worried at first. Our thing is getting together for dinner or big family gatherings. I go on cruises and vacations and eating is a very big part of my life. You talk about enjoying a soda at the park...have an ice tea. You can still eat at gatherings, just a small spoon of this and that instead of a meat platter full....You and only you can make the decision. Like the gals above said, if you are unsure, put it off and maybe talk to some people who have gone through it and had the same feelings. I hope you make the right decision. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dgoerlitz 96 Posted June 17, 2013 I thought that I was going not be able to enjoy food too. Things have changed dramatically. I am becoming a "fuel" eater now. I go for the Protein and I don't mind a few bottles of Water everyday. Can I eat a cookie? Yup! Can I have a piece of birthday cake? Yup! Can I eat pretty much anything I want to - only in MUCH SMALLER portions? Yup! Sometimes I kind of wish I couldn't, and a lot of people can't, but I can. The only things I can't eat now are rice and Pasta. Rice actually makes me physically ill, and I am terrified that pasta will do the same so I just don't eat it. Fortunately I like to cook and I like to experiment a little in the kitchen. Now I make lasagna with zucchini instead of noodles, I eat spaghetti squash instead of spaghetti, and I have actually begun doing a little bit of baking with gluten free recipes and they are quite delicious. I think that perspective might be a part of your decision. It sounds a bit like you are mourning food. It happens to all of us. But rest assured...this too shall pass. I've likened my experience to a new adventure and an opportunity to be a better me and to find new ways to enjoy the food I still love so much! I don't regret my decision for one second, and would do it over again if I had to. 1 MrsPierre reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeniseM 238 Posted June 17, 2013 I felt this way too, as I am sure everyone has. It is completely normal to be nervous and to second guess your decision. When I was having my doubts, I just focused on the end result. Being overweight had consumed my life. It was all I thought about, and I was so sick of being in pain from my knees and back and feeling like I was missing out on my life. Yes, I will miss eating the way I used to, although I know that behavior is what got me here in the first place. I might have to give up a few things, but what I am gaining is priceless. Right now, I am so excited to wake up every morning and weigh myself. I know that sounds crazy, but every single day since surgery I have lost at least one pound- this morning it was three! It is amazing to me how this weight is literally falling off, and I wish I had done this so much sooner! I know that the weight loss will slow down eventually, but for now, every moment of pain I went through the first few days is totally worth it. Bottom line is that this is a decision that only you can make. You can change your mind right up until they put you to sleep in the OR. But when you are having these doubts, try to remember why you started this journey to begin with. Focus on how you will feel when you have lost weight, and your life is changed forever! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sparker 11 Posted June 18, 2013 I wanted to thank everyone for the feedback. I am still feeling somewhat nervous and shaky but I am going to go ahead with surgery. God does come to us in many ways and I believe that He is with me here. When this first began back on April 5th I w a s praying for a sign that thus was the right thing for me. The sign came in the following ways: I found a hospital in a very convenient location for me, it is a Center of Excellence, The surgeon I wanted is on staff and my insurance has a short list to qualify and both my family and my own doctor support me. Everything fell into place quickly and I felt that this was a sign that yes this wad right. Had it been difficult, I would have felt that it was not meant to be. I think I was a bit freaked out by my dream. My Mom has been gone nearly 10 years, and here she was telling me that I didn't really want this. I woke up terrified and unsure. I h ad to go to the hospital today for some pre op business and when I got into the car the radio was playing Let Your Love Flow. This was my Mom's favorite song. I felt she was with me. I shed a few more tears but began to feel more positive throughout the day. But I do appreciate the comments and good wishes from you guys. Wish me luck. 2 FeeIsMe2 and DeniseM reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrsPierre 67 Posted June 18, 2013 I wanted to thank everyone for the feedback. I am still feeling somewhat nervous and shaky but I am going to go ahead with surgery. God does come to us in many ways and I believe that He is with me here. When this first began back on April 5th I w a s praying for a sign that thus was the right thing for me. The sign came in the following ways: I found a hospital in a very convenient location for me' date=' it is a Center of Excellence, The surgeon I wanted is on staff and my insurance has a short list to qualify and both my family and my own doctor support me. Everything fell into place quickly and I felt that this was a sign that yes this wad right. Had it been difficult, I would have felt that it was not meant to be. I think I was a bit freaked out by my dream. My Mom has been gone nearly 10 years, and here she was telling me that I didn't really want this. I woke up terrified and unsure. I h ad to go to the hospital today for some pre op business and when I got into the car the radio was playing Let Your Love Flow. This was my Mom's favorite song. I felt she was with me. I shed a few more tears but began to feel more positive throughout the day. But I do appreciate the comments and good wishes from you guys. Wish me luck.[/quote'] Beautiful confirmations! It's normal to be nervous bc this is a surgery. A lifestyle change. The important thing is to allow the old behavior room to grieve. New patterns will form but this time with discipline. I'm glad you chose to go forward. May you be blessed! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeezJeanz 1,065 Posted June 18, 2013 I wanted to thank everyone for the feedback. I am still feeling somewhat nervous and shaky but I am going to go ahead with surgery. God does come to us in many ways and I believe that He is with me here. When this first began back on April 5th I w a s praying for a sign that thus was the right thing for me. The sign came in the following ways: I found a hospital in a very convenient location for me' date=' it is a Center of Excellence, The surgeon I wanted is on staff and my insurance has a short list to qualify and both my family and my own doctor support me. Everything fell into place quickly and I felt that this was a sign that yes this wad right. Had it been difficult, I would have felt that it was not meant to be. I think I was a bit freaked out by my dream. My Mom has been gone nearly 10 years, and here she was telling me that I didn't really want this. I woke up terrified and unsure. I h ad to go to the hospital today for some pre op business and when I got into the car the radio was playing Let Your Love Flow. This was my Mom's favorite song. I felt she was with me. I shed a few more tears but began to feel more positive throughout the day. But I do appreciate the comments and good wishes from you guys. Wish me luck.[/quote'] Awesome, I'm proud that it was your decision n now you have ur sign and your peace. God Bless you n luk how ur doing whenever u can !! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gaye jarvis 751 Posted June 18, 2013 I wanted to thank everyone for the feedback. I am still feeling somewhat nervous and shaky but I am going to go ahead with surgery. God does come to us in many ways and I believe that He is with me here. When this first began back on April 5th I w a s praying for a sign that thus was the right thing for me. The sign came in the following ways: I found a hospital in a very convenient location for me' date=' it is a Center of Excellence, The surgeon I wanted is on staff and my insurance has a short list to qualify and both my family and my own doctor support me. Everything fell into place quickly and I felt that this was a sign that yes this wad right. Had it been difficult, I would have felt that it was not meant to be. I think I was a bit freaked out by my dream. My Mom has been gone nearly 10 years, and here she was telling me that I didn't really want this. I woke up terrified and unsure. I h ad to go to the hospital today for some pre op business and when I got into the car the radio was playing Let Your Love Flow. This was my Mom's favorite song. I felt she was with me. I shed a few more tears but began to feel more positive throughout the day. But I do appreciate the comments and good wishes from you guys. Wish me luck.[/quote'] Hi Sparker! I'm so glad to hear you are being sleeved today, today is a special day for me also, I was sleeved 1 year ago today, I have lost 125 lbs and over 96 inches off my body! You will do great! (((Hugs))) and prayers coming to you today, keep us updated on your progress! Sent from Gaye's iPad Mini using VST Share this post Link to post Share on other sites