Ever been called fat by a kid?

[mandyrenee82 59]

Being called fat by anyone - kids, adults, friends, family or strangers - hurts.

[LouiseC 1,031]

My response to this is perhaps not the standard.

Children, especially young children, are brutally honest. They call it as they see it. And, let's face it, we are all here because we at some point we faced the brutal honesty of our own obesity.

I am here because I got sleeved. I got sleeved because I got fat. Really fat. Others would have noticed how fat I was, no matter how much I was in denial. Most had the decency and maturity not to point it out to me. But kids are kids. They call it as they see it.

When it happened to me, it did hurt. But what hurt was not so much the little girl saying it, but instead the fact that it was true. I was fat. It hurt to have to acknowledge that. But wow, when I finally did, what a turning point.

As for the other comments about the kid in the OPs example - caffeine is a drug, and sugar consumption is out of control in the western world. I applaud their parents for teaching their kids this so that they can make the best choices in the face of so much marketing towards children of the worst foods possible.

[******** 397]

Being called fat by anyone - kids' date=' adults, friends, family or strangers - hurts.[/quote']

Why do you let it hurt though. If someone calls me fat I say I know because I am fat. If people didnt accept it as an insult and didn't let it bother them then bullies would no longer use it as an insult

[soccergirl88 56]

Why do you let it hurt though. If someone calls me fat I say I know because I am fat. If people didnt accept it as an insult and didn't let it bother them then bullies would no longer use it as an insult

We all have unique levels of sensitivity. What hurts one person may not hurt another one. Everyone's feelings are valid though.

[Laurambers 15]

I made my final decision about getting the sleeve when my 3 yr old said " mommy has a big butt, and daddy has a little butt". It hurt me even thou he is only 3. I had been thinking about the sleeve and researching it, and finally decided after that comment.

[TinaD 18]

I had aVS September 24,2012. I love it. For the first time in many years during the Rodeo this year I did not have to search my closet for something to hide my fat stomach and huge rear. It was wonderful. Many compliments and I had a great time.

I was asked why my tummy was big. Small children referring to me as being fat...but I was fat, obese, overweight they were just being honest. But it still hurt like hell. Now after my VS I can sit in regular chairs, wear normal clothes, other than PLUS size, have more energy, smile more, go more places, and can actually play with my grandchildren. I look at over weight people now with empathy. I KNOW what they are going through. How hard it is to do regular everyday chores, Dailey hygiene is difficult, getting in and out of chairs, cars, couches, turning around in bathroom stalls, etc. The list for me goes on. I know this is not quite what everyone was discussing but like I said earlier I was called fat, excluded because of my weight, and talked about. I am so glad I had a Vs. Being overweight is something none of us chose.

[tigerbelle 328]

OK....I think we have diverged to different branches of the original discussion....TinaD and others: I don't think any of us here cannot list dozens upon dozens of reasons it is challenging, unhealthy and downright humiliating sometimes to be fat (obese, big, overweight, whatever word you choose)...that is not what I think is being "debated" here

also, I agree with soccergirl that everyone's feelings are valid and should not be minimalized or disregarded...what I think that Janice, I and others have just been trying to do is put things in perspective...and, in my case, I am honestly trying to provide an alternative way of thinking about this that might ease some of the hurt people are expressing

I believe that we all know that we are fat (or insert whatever physical descriptive you want here). Whether someone calls us that or not does nothing to change the reality of our size...what others call "fat" may not be the same as another group might, but regardless it "is what it is"...when someone calls me or refers to me by something that is purely physically descriptive, I don't take it as a slur or emotional put-down...examples: you are pale...you have freckles...you have thick ankles...your arms are saggy...etc, etc...now, I might not like being reminded of anything I may consider unattractive but it doesn't reflect on my character or who I am as a person

as to who makes such a comment, that does factor in as to whether I feel insulted or not...in other words, it is not the statement itself--true or untrue--but the underlying intent...when a child says something or asks something with the pure intent of curiosity or honesty, I find it hard to take offense...if something is said by a pre-teen or teenager (or group of teenagers as one person related), it is a little hurtful if it is done disrespectfully or with the intent of being derogatory and verbally abusive...I brush it off pretty easily though because I chalk it up to poor upbringing, their own lack of emotional maturity and security, and the culture of group mentality bullying...when a full-grown adult says something with the intent to be rude and hurtful, I find that despicable and yes, it does hurt, because it demoralizes my faith in human nature, so to speak...fortunately, I have rarely that I can recall ever been faced with that situation and that level of rudeness and direspect, thank goodness

I just wanted to explain myself so as not to offend anyone or make them feel like I was invalidating their feelings

[fattie 53]

Why do you let it hurt though. If someone calls me fat I say I know because I am fat. If people didnt accept it as an insult and didn't let it bother them then bullies would no longer use it as an insult

When children call an adult fat it is wrong. That is very disrespectful. What do you think children are calling other children who are overweight? It all comes down to teaching your children to treat everyone the same even if they are fat,skinny,black, white, brown, handicaped and so forth. That is whats wrong with society, no one wants to teach their children to not be judgemental. Its a sad world we live in.

[TinaD 18]

I apologize for diverging from the original debate. However; I did post how I was talked about, called fat, and excluded do to my weight. How it was hard to dress appropriately to try to hide my fat so I wouldn't be talked about it called fat by someone any age. Yes young children are honest and inquisitive, older ones know better and should have more respect for others. The latter part of my post was to uplift the readers after their VS that things get better.. again I apologize.

[Laurambers 15]

My 11 yr old son who is a very loving kid just put his arms around my waist and hugged me. Then he said " mom i can put my arms all away around you, i have never been able to do that before"... I had the sleeve on may 24th and didnt tell him that it would help me get skinny, he thinks i just had something wrong that needed fixed in there! It was nice to here in his voice that he was amazed he could do that. I have only lost 22lbs, but enough for my 11 yr old to notice!

[tonia_lea07 8]

I just got sleeved on 6/12/13 but my daughter who turned 4 today loves to draw pictures of our family and everytime draws a big circle she calls "mommys tummy" she knows not to call people fat that is does hurt feelings. Since surgery she drew me a picture now with "mommys cuts that will help her tummy get smaller" I can't wait for the day I can be in the picture just as everyone else I don't think she does it to hurt anyone's feelings but sometimes we can't help it.

[KitKat40 100]

My 11 yr old son who is a very loving kid just put his arms around my waist and hugged me. Then he said " mom i can put my arms all away around you' date=' i have never been able to do that before"... I had the sleeve on may 24th and didnt tell him that it would help me get skinny, he thinks i just had something wrong that needed fixed in there! It was nice to here in his voice that he was amazed he could do that. I have only lost 22lbs, but enough for my 11 yr old to notice![/quote']

Ohh Laurambers I can't wait ... For my 11 yr to do that !!! Especially since he still loves to hug me ... I to told him about the surgery but has no clue it's for weight loss

[wcn1970 239]

I have always been a very serious mountain biker and no matter my weight I have been fast and rode/ride a lot. I just remember one time specifically 2 guys getting upset about being passed in the trail and hearing one of them say in anguish "we just got passed by a fat guy". My buddy's and I laugh about that all the time.

[******** 397]

When children call an adult fat it is wrong. That is very disrespectful. What do you think children are calling other children who are overweight? It all comes down to teaching your children to treat everyone the same even if they are fat' date='skinny,black, white, brown, handicaped and so forth. That is whats wrong with society, no one wants to teach their children to not be judgemental. Its a sad world we live in.[/quote']

But what if they are just describing the person...is it wrong to call someone skinny?....in a lot of countries that would be the insult

[futureloser 190]

When children call an adult fat it is wrong. That is very disrespectful. What do you think children are calling other children who are overweight? It all comes down to teaching your children to treat everyone the same even if they are fat' date='skinny,black, white, brown, handicaped and so forth. That is whats wrong with society, no one wants to teach their children to not be judgemental. Its a sad world we live in.[/quote']

Children don't always comprehend something until they experience the consequences. My daughter was about 2-1/2 and we were in a waiting room sitting next to an African American woman. My daughter was on my lap and started to rub my face- she said "your face is not dirty mommy". It was embarrassing to me but it brought the opportunity to talk to her about differences in skin color etc- she was too little to have a conversation about racism and we live in a primarily white area so she may never have seen someone of color in person before- a new experience with an opportunity to learn. I model the behavior I want them to model. I don't blame the parent or the child if a child says I am fat- it's the truth.