To have or have not?

[liteNsun 58]

So, I like so many have come to find my weight struggle is unmanageable like never before. I realized I was gaining weight at 6 yrs. old when I tried on my first communion dress and it was tight. I was an active kid. But convenience food was all that I knew when my mom became single at 5 y/o. I had no nutrition choices or learning I just ate what was available. I found my way into OA at 13 and did great, it gave me a food menu guide then, they no longer give that out....too bad. I found tennis and that was helpful and carried me through college but even with workout and lite eating I was never thin like the others. I never got thin. It was confusing. After college my identical twin sis, gained a Hugh amount of weight due to an injury and more eating. She later got the bypass. It helped her so much. I struggled and fought the good fight when having 4 kids. I had a reprieve from the weight war when I smoked for a year. I was skinny. But that lasted maybe a year. Then my mom died of lung cancer and I quit. I went back to weight gain. I barely ate any more then when I had smoked. I was angry. But it was familiar and "doable". However, I HIT 50 years old and I was pre-menopausal. I gained weight like never before. I had a family reunion and saw many of my cousins on my paternal side all had hit this problem of weight gain in their 40's and 50's. I was shocked. I also have two other sister with large weight gain as they age. I saw that this was going to only get worse no matter what diet I next would try. I was sick of making myself feel bad for something that I could not entirely control it seemed.

I am a solution oriented person and I was going to find a way to direct my life in a way that was permanent, not yet another trend diet Please! . I studied the VGS procedure and I was sure about my choice. My twin sis took me to her bypass doc. and we set up the surgery time for a month later (My sis also had to get back on her shakes doc said). I am self pay, so I could get things done promptly. After setting up my surgery date, did I then tell my plans to my fiance. He was surprised about any of this. I felt private about my choices and did not want my body to become a democracy. I had the only vote. So, after discussing the issues with him he understood my sadness about my weight struggle and supported me. He went to my pre op last Thursday and my surgery is coming this Wednesday, June 19. My fiance is nervous about it but I have never been more sure. I know he finds this all too much, but he is fit and handsome and may never understand all of it, that is okay, not necessary. Also, I don't want to be the fat unhealthy woman with him. Of course there is a social component for me to look nice as much as a my health going forward. So, I will have my surgery in less than 4 days. I feel in control with this now, where I never had felt control before. If you give me a comprehensive plan to follow, I will. But do not want to spend the next few decades with little self respect. I work harder at everything, job, kids, finances, girlfriend, daughter, head of household, then any one I know. So, I know I will work hard for this success too. My fiance has gotten a hotel room next to the hospital to be with me as much as possible. I found this to be the most loving of gestures, since he only lives about 40 mins. away. I look forward to getting past the surgery and posting all my questions and updates on this forum. I thank all of you as well for every single post too. I learn so much from those before me or the ones along side me. My best to each and every one of you.

Hugs.

[kamero 3]

Good luck on Wednesday!! Everything will be fine!! I can't wait to read your updates!! Stay positive!!

[DeniseM 238]

My husband was able to sleep on a chair in my room with me- you should check with the hospital to see if that is allowed- it could save some money for him.

[dork 114]

Good luck. Sounds a lot like me...at 55. You sound like you have a strong will and mind. You will do fine.