How many vets are actually AT goal and staying there?

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Cheri this is truly a struggle for all of us here too. I hear u are working really hard to get back to ur old goal weight before having ur beautiful baby and have done really well. I know that u will drop those pesky lbs really soon and will be rocking your sexy body soon, even though ur body is totally sexy right now. You are a very determined lady that is doing what you know will work. Keep doing what ur doing. I have these times too and am working on seeing my body for the size it is and not the size it was. You have healthy eating habits and u are very healthy which is the most important factor right now. In fact u have had a lot of stressors lately which have affected u too. You are still Rockin that sleeve!

[M2G 1,836]

Hiya Cheri...

Oh how I feel your pain!

You know my story oh so well, I have never reached goal so I don't know how good that feels.

I have been stuck in my current weight range for 20mths - some may call it maintaining, I call it damn frustrating!

Again, as you know I am still trying to get those last pounds off to reach my surgeon's goal - and then I have more to lose to reach my personal goal! My body just doesn't want to co-operate; my mind and body continue to fight each other!

I really don't know what to suggest for you my lovely friend... I wish I could wave a magic wand so our scales would read what we want!

But in reality, that isn't going to happen and all I can offer you is my support and encouragement - don't give up!

You will get back to where you want to be... remember those long months before you saw the goal weight? You persevered then and you can do that now... then remember how good it felt to get to goal... well, you can and will have that feeling again too! Ok, it might take time, but who is counting?

Just remember we are here for you... if you ever want to have a moan or a groan, just give me a shout!

Hugs to you my friend xx

Like Coops (she and I have discussed this ad nauseum for literally years now!) I never reached goal. I'm not sure if I just got complacent after about 18 months of losing weight, I sort of fell off the wagon and regained a little bit. I'm still fighting the regain, and once that is gone I still have -20lbs to goal. I've always been an exerciser (yes for a good 7 years BEFORE surgery) so that was not new to me. I stepped up my game once the weight started to go, and I try to diligently do a mix of intense cardio and weights, although I'm starting to wonder if I need to add more weights to my weekly routine. I think I'm addicted to the cardio high... So there is the camp of heavy lifters vs. the cardio camp and I try to do both weekly but probably do more cardio than lifting. At any rate on the low end of the calories burned scale I probably burn 300cals (that would be for 20-30 mins on the treadmill the difference being between walking or running) to upwards of 700+ calories on an an intense 1 hour cardio class (like spin.)

And not to confuse this thread with others, but since you brought it up (your statement about NOT wanting to have to restrict to 700-900 cals is what I'm referring to) ...I'm literally TORN between trying to restrict my calories (I seem to only lose when I am >800cals/daily) and trying to "reset my metabolism" (assumingly shot to he(( over my post-op eating of >1000 or less a day for 1.5 years!) There is an ongoing debate about what is better, to EAT more (upper end of 1850-2000 cals/day) or do less (i.e. >800 or the 5:2 plan where you eat normally 5 days a week and fast on about 500 calories the other 2 days a week.) Even just typing this out makes my head spin. Part of me says that I did NOT go and CUT 85% of my stomach out so that I could EAT 2000cals/day, and the other part of me says how ridiculous it is that I have to eat such low calories to maintain (I can maintain on anything from 900-1400cals/day and really only lose when I hit below >800.)

So obviously I'm not the person you want to talk to. I don't know if that makes me a good vet or a bad vet, but I will be 3 years post-op this Oct and STILL have not figured out exactly what works for me (well I do know that >800 works but I'm unwilling to do that 99% of the time.) So if and when you figure out what works for you I would love for you to share. As for Lynda and NtvTxn I'm so glad that you have figured out what works for you. If you don't mind can you guys share your daily caloric intake NtvTxn do you exercise?

[M2G 1,836]

Nevermind, NtvTxn, just saw on the other thread that you do not exercise. I think probably the thing that saves you from gaining is your diligence to what you eat and tracking your food.< /p>

[lsereno 2,525]

Hi M2G,

I do a brisk walk 4 days a week for about an hour. I don't really track exact calories, but I choose low fat options and I know I stay around 1200 to 1500 most days.

For example, yesterday I ate 1490 calories:

Breakfast: 2 oz. costco Roast chicken, 1 slice WW bread, 3/4 cup canteloupe: 240 calories

Lunch: 2 oz. pork, 2 T. BBQ Sauce, 1/2 ear corn, 1/2 cup green Beans with peppers and onions: 240 calories

Snack: Decaf Soy Latte, 1 cup canteloupe: 290 calories

Dinner: 1 cup pinto Beans with 2 oz. lean ham shank, 1/2 cup fresh spinach (wilted down): 250 calories

Snack: 3 baby tootsie rolls, 3/4 cup pineapple, 1 oz. pretzels and 1 oz. Cheezits: 470 calories

That's a pretty typical day for me. I have a couple days a week that I eat more or have cocktails. Tonight, I will have two drinks and a higher calorie dinner because I'm going to a Tacky Tiki party. If my weight goes over 137, I cut down on the snack calories and cut out the extra calorie days till it drops under 137 again.

Lynda

[Georgia 2,908]

Lynda, you are TINY! And you don't look 5'6" either! Your goal weight is really low and by the chart I looked at 1 lb below ideal! You go, girl! Makes me wonder if I had "stuck" to losing instead of going to "maintenance" (and I say that tongue in cheeck!) at 150 what I could have gotten down to. ha!

Quote:

Typically, adults tend to gain weight in their mid-twenties, and this trend further continues with increase in age, due to reduction in the metabolic rate and physical activity. In contrast, the height remains constant during this period. In fact, according to the Gerontology Research Center (National Institutes of Health), some weight gain after 35 years of age is essential for good bone health.

Well, I accomplished that! ha!

[lsereno 2,525]

Thanks Georgia. I picked 135 because as a teen and in my 20s I weighed 118 and I was happy at that size. I figured with 10 lbs for age and a few more for extra skin, 135 would be a good goal. It gives me a little range to lose and gain. Although I haven't lost below my goal except at first.

I've ready ideal BMI for a woman is 21. I'm 21.8 according to: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Lynda

[Georgia 2,908]

Thanks Georgia. I picked 135 because as a teen and in my 20s I weighed 118 and I was happy at that size. I figured with 10 lbs for age and a few more for extra skin' date=' 135 would be a good goal. It gives me a little range to lose and gain. Although I haven't lost below my goal except at first.

I've ready ideal BMI for a woman is 21. I'm 21.8 according to: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Lynda

Yes, I've got to get back to goal so my BMI will go back to normal range. Right now it's .2 above the normal range! . Another reason to stay focused!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I have not gotten to goal yet. I got within about 7pounds, them the weight just plateaued------------------------------temptation, company, injury, and mostly non accountability led to a 20+ pound rebound.... at the first of this year I have gotten back on the wagon, and after lots of ups and downs and level Patches I have slowly gotten almost half of that back off.... I experimented with a couple of methods... including eating more and lifting weights..... Followed My fitnesspals macros suggestion....as well as the 5:2. which I am using now. I did not do the TDEE method for long enough to see the final results, I quit after I had gained 5 pounds, and did a harder cut in calories. (makes chicken noises), but I did start weight lifting twice a week, and this has changed the shape of my body that I can see for myself and my measurements are smaller in the waist and hips. I then read about the 5:2 diet from Georgia, and a few of us jumped on board to try it out. I have been able to drop a couple of pounds by using the Southbeach phase one ( I eat pretty southbeach anyway, but really had a carb addiction going on.... this reduced that craving. Then have lost a few more from Intermittent semi-fasting 5:2.... two days a week, and eating what I always eat the rest of the days. I am only on my 4th "rest" day, but so far so good. I now weight less than I did all this year so far. I sure would like to get to goal. For a while there I was just seeing what I was doing as maintenance, because I was unwilling to eat less.... just didn't seem healthy to go there. I am now 12 pounds from my lowest weight post surgery, and 18 from my high Normal BMI....my goal. The last 16 months have been a struggle, but the sleeve has made it possible to be where I am, which is pretty happy and healthy, and in better shape then I have been in years. And at this time I feel I have a fighting chance to make my goal. A good Vet or a bad Vet? An honest Vet.

[clk 3,519]

First, thank you to everyone that posted not only where they are but their personal struggles as well. It's a big deal to know that I am not alone here...I knew that, of course, but it's nice to really see it's true. So many things that were written really resonated with me and it was good to see the approaches you guys take.

I suppose that right now I'm realizing that I am a horrible hypocrite. Yes, indeed, I am. I must be. I have posted multiple times over the past year about being happy with accomplishments we've made and not worrying about a number on the scale. And here I am, making myself insane in my own head because of a number on the scale. A number that, quite frankly, does very little to even impact how I look. I might not like my snug pants, but they're still a 5/6 and I'm still in a small. I have reassured my friends like coops over and over again that they're successes and here I am beating myself up like I'm a failure.

Quite frankly, I'm being ridiculous.

Not about wanting to keep on top of things and certainly not about wanting to perfect a way to slide back into loss when I need to. Certainly those are valuable things to learn because maintenance is the long haul and who knows what will happen as I get older and naturally tend to hang on to weight? (Even more than I already do, blech!)

I am definitely dealing with some hormonal/emotional wackiness postpartum and where we live does not help. I need abundant sunshine to feel good - days on end of overcast gloominess really affect my mood. I also have a great deal of stress, partly just because of life and this feeling that we're hemorrhaging money lately but also because I try so hard to shape my future and stay on top of things and we have a lot going on. Additionally, crazy as it sounds but a book of poetry I recently read just crawled in my brain and reawakened so many old emotional feelings and really made me reflect on who I am and why. I've been worrying it in my brain for weeks now and I keep trying to find these things I can just "fix" so I'll be back to how I was feeling a few months ago. And let us not forget what sleep deprivation does to a body and mind! I keep wanting to Google things like, "When will this baby ever sleep? !" but I know that it will be at least another month or so before I'm able to get more rest. With all this, weight seems like it should be an easy target, but it's just not.

Am I in a better emotional place than I was three years ago? Most assuredly. But it's kind of sad and puts a control freak like me on edge to realize that it's not all gone - that I still have some issues that need attention or work, or that might never go away.

A big hallelujah for the fact that I am still fortunate enough to not be battling non-stop hunger or food obsession.

But let's just say that when you're not paying attention, a real desire to eat does not have to be there to overindulge or mindlessly snack. I've gone totally off the rails the last few days, eating the sloppiest I have eaten at all since my surgery and after going back and logging all my calories to the best of my memory, I was disheartened to see that I'm eating 1,800 calories a day or more, mostly in junk slider foods. Foods that do not taste good to me, do not satisfy me and even make me sick. I've been having digestive issues all week and no wonder! You know, it's sad...really sad, because I am NOT EVEN HUNGRY. I am not eating for stress. I am eating JUST BECAUSE. Just because it's there and I can. I realized last week that I was a bit peckish for a sweet in the evening and we had nothing to suit what I was looking for (okay, junk, I admit it) in the entire house. So the next time I shopped I bought a bunch of junk! And you know what that stuff does even when you're not triggering cravings? It makes you feel like crap, I swear. Not just physically but mentally. I'm up one pound on the scale, too, and I'm lucky it's just one.

Today, I am fasting. I feel good. Well, the sun is shining and I'm sure that helps. But that junk got packed up in a bag and sent to the office with my husband. Let his poor coworkers divide the stuff up, I don't want it in the house. I don't have to avoid those things forever, but right now is not the time to surround myself with it, either.

I've gotten more than one email about doing the 5:2 thing and I might try it. I don't know. At first I was convinced that no way would I even consider another diet. But after reading about it, it's actually pretty close to how I ate in maintenance, when I easily maintained. I'd weigh daily and restrict when I needed, but mostly I ate what I wanted, within reason.

I'm not sure if it would help me lose again, and honestly, I'm not sure if I just need to take a step back and stop thinking about my weight entirely. I'm sure some counseling would help because I feel like I've been on a roller coaster since a few months before I had the baby. It's unfortunate that it's just not a real option for me - having a counselor write in paperwork that I need regular counseling can red flag my husband's career, and never mind that it's not supposed to happen that way. It does, trust me.

So what am I learning?

Wherever I go, there I am. I do not get to escape myself and who I am, or my particular issues, just by changing my location or my body shape or my weight. I am still the same person, happier, yes, less weighed with baggage, yes, but still susceptible to depression or anxiety like I was before. It does no good to beat myself up over this, either, it just adds another stress I don't need.

Maintenance is hard, and it is forever. I don't care how fast people get to goal. I don't care how they do it. The fact is that it is hard to stay there, forever, if you do not pay attention and keep yourself accountable. If I had avoided VST, gone off to my hermit hole and kept binging on junk for a few more weeks or months, I could easily find myself up twenty pounds and even more frustrated. We say this to newbies all the time, but it's true. I don't care how long you've tried to build good, new habits. The old ones are ingrained, comfortable and immediately gratifying. I can eat wonderfully for ten months straight, but give me a few days with the old foods and tack on some emotional struggles or some boredom and I'll slide right back into the habit of grabbing a snack here and a dessert there. Maintenance is the real battle and it makes things like the three week stall pale in comparison.

It is ridiculous to pursue perfection. There is nothing wrong with pursuing a goal. And there is everything right about wanting to be a better person today than I was yesterday, to continually improve myself. But I have a problem with telling myself that I'll be happier, or feel more accomplished, or whatever, once I achieve "X" goal. That's B.S. Because I always have another goal or another reason to beat myself up waiting. I beat myself up for being fat. I was going to be totally happy when I got to 160 pounds and could wear a size 12 again. Then I exceeded that goal. Then it was the skin. I'll be happy once the skin is gone. No, I won't. Because then I'm going to beat myself up over my scars. Or over my lack of physical fitness. Or over the fact that I'm still not 100% over all of my emotional traumas. I'll always find a reason to defeat myself in my pursuit of perfection. The fact is, I need to learn how to love the skin I'm in and the person I am and I still struggle with this. If I tell myself, even whispering it in the most hidden part of my mind, that I'll love myself more when I reach a certain place, I am defeating myself. I am ensuring that I will never be totally happy and totally at peace.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long post. But if you haven't realized now that the way I work things out for myself is by writing them out, you haven't been paying attention!

I appreciate all of the advice here. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. The first thing is to try and deal with some of what's bothering me, and I think that weight loss is secondary to that right now. I do want to get back on track, though, so I'm going to focus this week on eating properly again. Beyond that, the scale is going away. I can weigh once a week right now, and so long as I don't see an upward trend I will need to be happy with that.

This is not a food issue or an exercise issue for me. This is entirely emotional, and everything I'm dealing with stems from that point. New methods to attack the weight loss are only going to help part of my issue, and it's the smallest part, I think.

~Cheri

[clk 3,519]

Oh...and I did notice that while there are folks here happily maintaining in their windows, there are even more it seems that are still bouncing around near goal and not quite there yet.

I suppose part of my initial motivation when I asked about vets maintaining was that I was having trouble finding those people at their ultimate goal weight, easily maintaining and totally happy.

I know we get busy with life and go out and live without needing VST any longer, but really, you'd think there would be less people fighting with those last five (or twenty!) pounds here and more people living the dream, you know?

~Cheri

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Oh...and I did notice that while there are folks here happily maintaining in their windows, there are even more it seems that are still bouncing around near goal and not quite there yet.

I suppose part of my initial motivation when I asked about vets maintaining was that I was having trouble finding those people at their ultimate goal weight, easily maintaining and totally happy.

I know we get busy with life and go out and live without needing VST any longer, but really, you'd think there would be less people fighting with those last five (or twenty!) pounds here and more people living the dream, you know?

~Cheri

I predict you're going to be just fine!! Anyone who is this "aware" and on top of things......you're ahead of the game. Have a great weekend.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

My Doc asked me if I would be happy 50 pounds lighter. I said yes, but less would be better....I needed to lose 90 to just dip into my normal BMI. His point, I see now, was people are more likely to keep off 50% than 100%. I think the stats say this as well. (more like 50-75% from what I've read). In this light, keeping 100% of goal easily is abnormal. It is also the dream! Does this mean we have to be in a constant state of dissatisfaction and flux? I am working on both losing/maintaining the weight, and trying to drop the name calling and disappointment. Thats the same thing I was trying to learn/do when I was fat! Part of the shift for me was to take the challenge to pursue health#1 rather than looks#2. I think age helped me come to this conclusion.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Cheri, I love how you process things by writing them down. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Your thoughts hit the nail right on the head and I realized the goal I have forgotten about for myself is the biggest goal ever. And that is to love myself first and then to continue on with working on maintenance. I will work hard on maintenance, but I will work even harder on loving myself. In fact, I just had a client that had inappropriate behaviors that totally made me feel angry and violated. I will be referring this client out because the love for myself is very important. The person that I work with will be totally angry due to the money but I don't care. I'm more important than a little bit of money. Cheri, once again, thank you, this is something I really needed to read to get my peace of mind back...........

[Supersweetums 1,164]

Thank you Cheri for your very raw and personal post on your feelings and struggles. It has really struck a chord with me as this is my same battle. When I was overweight, I thought, I would be happy if I could just lose the weight. Then I lost the weight, and thought I would just be happy if all this excess skin was gone. Now I gained a few pounds and it has had me miserable, and I all I want is to get back to where I was 7 pounds ago, because then I will be happy, but I wasn't happy there. When I decided to have this surgery, that thought always lingered in the back of my mind....will I ever be happy, will the weight lost ever be enough. Over the last couple of years since having surgery, I have come to realize that no amount of weight loss is going to fix my inner demons. I have to be able to accept every part of myself before I will feel comfortable in my own skin.

I thought this would be the answer, that I would never have to "diet" again. But the hard truth is most of us will most likely always have to "diet" to some extend, whether it be tracking everything, following a specified diet plan, or being conscious of everything we are eating. It might become a way of life and so habitual that it does not feel like "dieting", but, really, if you think about it, it still is in one form or another. No one will be able to eat whatever they want, as much as they want, and never gain. Even though I never tracked, for the last 2.5 years, I was always conscious of what I was eating. I made steps to cut out the white stuff and change the way I ate. And I always told myself I wasn't dieting, but I realized I was to some extent because there were days where I was sad that I wasn't eating what my kids were eating. Sad that I cut certain things from my diet. Days that I was mourning not being able to eat just a couple of more bites. I have to accept that this is a new way of life for me, forever.

Your posts always inspire me, especially lately with your candidness about your struggles. Too many people hide when the begin to struggle, but that is when they need to the most active, be it on here if they have no access to support, or in face-to-face support groups. They reality of surgery is there is no guarantee that you will lose 100% of your excess weight. It does not mean you are a failure if you do not. The only time you fail is if you give up. Thank you to all those vets willing to share their struggles. Too many people do not share their inner wars and it gives a skewed reality of what life after WLS is really like.

[lsereno 2,525]

For me, Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and exercise have been the most helpful in dealing with depression and other issues. There are a number of CBT books available on Amazon. I can't speak to which one is best. I used a workbook that went with the 6 week group class I took at Kaiser.

As far as eating, ever-vigilant is my motto. I hope it continues to work for me as the years go by.

Lynda