male only Socializing after sleeve

[cubbies76 132]

Hi, fellas. I'm new around here but am about to hard all my paperwork sent off to Cigna to get approved and looking at early August for my procedure. I have to admit that I've been trolling for a little while getting info and realized I should just join the dang site already!

Probably the biggest thing I'm worried about is what I'm going to do to socialize after the sleeve. It seems like now all my socializing with friends and coworkers is either over a meal or over drinks. I've read that going out to eat is almost more a nuisance than anything else and we are supposed to try to avoid alcohol for 12 months.

What do you fellas do? I feel like girls have it easier because they tend to do more stuff together.

[JoiaRox 430]

Who says you have to eat/drink when out socializing? Chances are, no one's paying attention to the food/alcohol you're consuming - it's more about the atmosphere, friends, conversation, jokes, etc. Sip away on Water and just enjoy the camaraderie! I'll admit, I was anxious heading to a party last night at a wine bar...but my ice water was just fine and I enjoyed catching up with people I hadn't seen in awhile! My boyfriend later asked me what food they served and, honestly, I had to answer "I dunno...I think I saw some cheese? " I'm still on the "full liquid" stage so I steered clear of the hors d'oeuvre table completely!

[johnlatte 1,232]

Dude, I go out. I have a great time with my friends and family. If they go eat, I go and I eat. I just don't eat a lot. I've stopped drinking except for a nice glass of red wine or an occasional barleywine. Its not a big deal, really!

I think that this is a real big misconception that us fat asses have. We like using food as a social crutch. Going with the attitude that I can't possibly have a good time if I'm not chowing down on a big plate of fried something or another or I can't have a good time unless I'm banging back the hops. I still like going out, I still like eating in restaurants, but now I make smart choices and don't worry if I can't match my friends fork for fork or glass for glass. The best thing is that now, you become more aware of what is on the menu and you tend to pick the absolute best things on it. I ask a lot of questions when I order, I ask how things are prepared (I'm a chef so that's easy).

You can also take the lead. Organize a get together that isn't revolving around a fork. I've gotten the buds together and gone the pistol range or paint balling. We've gone on runs and bike rides together. I've met friends at the gym for workouts. The only thing we drank was Water. A couple of friends are doing a zombie run this fall and I am on the team. . Lots of things you can do to be social that doesn't involve a plate or a mug.

You can do this. I won't blow smoke and say its a cake walk, but you can do it. Just take the initiative and stick to the commitment that you've made to live a healthier lifestyle. In the end, that's your best ally!

[VSGKirk 855]

Hey Cubbie,

It'll be weird at first, but once you have a fewer food restrictions, you'll be able to join right in (just will eat and drink in much smaller quantities).

I had to attend work meetings, lunches and dinners as early as 1 week post-op. You can do it - but like I said, it's weird at first, but once you see it's not as bad as you thought, you get through it.

I focus on the conversations and make the interaction more about that than the food or drinks.

[newat52 1,613]

Don't let your sleeve change your life, let it make it better! I am 3 months out and go to happy hour and meet friends for lunch and dinner often. I just make smart choices, I order a glass of wine or ice tea if it's lunch and just sip. food is actually easier than I thought it would be, no one is really worrying about what you are or are not eating or drinking. I will order off the appetizer menu or if it's dinner will get a healthy entree and enjoy it for a few days with the leftovers.

I have found I enjoy socializing even more now because all the guess work is gone. No more voices in my head asking myself am I being good today or am I eating crap? No question anymore. Doesn't even bother me to have the tortilla chips right in front of me on the table. I can have a few but I just choose not to.

It's so freakin awesome now!

Go forth and happy hour it up!

[butterfly_gal 151]

I go out to eat with friends just as much as before. As a matter of fact, two days last week Alone. I still eat, just a quarter of what I would've ate. I choose the healthiest option and enjoy. All my friends know about my surgery, so there are never any questions or comments about the amount I eat. It's actually nice, because most of the time I have several meals in a doggy bag after words

It is what you make of it, is the way I look at it. I am blessed to not have any problems so far. I feel so horrible for those who do.

[cubbies76 132]

Thanks, everyone. I guess I'm just terrified that if I go to restaurants and bars and whatnot that I'll end up being one of the ones that gains all the weight back. That's my biggest fear of the whole thing, that I'll go through all that it takes to have the procedure and in 2 years be right back in the same place. But it's not just a change in what you eat and how much, but a complete lifestyle change, and that includes being able to do stuff like socialize at dinner or happy hour.

[JeffA70 200]

As much as we all mostly use this experience to change how we view food, we swim in a cultural sea that focuses on eating and drinking. Learning to live in that, versus being some abstinant monk, is key, in my opinion. Others may disagree.

I told everyone about my surgery, and asked them to not invite me for a few months. At about four months, my various circles of friends started inviting me again and I do go out, using all the food and drink tips mentioned by others. I've had very few problems. Unless you're going to 'Bob's House of Carbs,' you can always find Proteins on the menu. I've more or less given up drinking, so I can't address that at all.

I've noticed two things.... At first, people are very curious about what you order, and I've found myself appalled at the size of restaurant portions. Both are just part of the deal.

Good luck to you.