Feeling Nothing

[jacee 183]

I have lost 50 pounds, and I had my daughter take a picture of me, I still look heavy. I guess 215 pounds at 5'7 is heavy. My life without at least the reward of a good meal leaves me with a huge hole in my "looking forward to something" list. I have tried to replace the emptiness I feel with diving myself further into a job I am allready an overachiever at. Still I feel nothing. I look in the mirror and I see a thinner body but I dont feel better. I dont feel anything. I had false expectations that being thinner would make me "happier" more fulfilled give me a new lease on life. it really has not. My inteligent self knows that thinner doesent equal happier. Loosing weight has forced me to to open my eyes to the fact that their is a lot missing on the road to my own contentment without self medicating or distracting myself with food. I also knew that I would come to this place I am today if I lost the weight that I would have to find "me" again. Its just such a huge undertaking that its made me mope for a few weeks. So many things happened on the way to getting fat, that now I have to deal with them in order to move on. Now I have said it to outloud I hope to hold myself accountable and get out of my funk. This was difficult to make public, I am wondering if anyone else feels this way?

[slimagainsoon 88]

I totally feel you on this. I am 5'6 presently weighting 166 and get lots of compliments but I DON'T SEE what others see. I still feel and look fat. I am six mts out. I too thought losing this weight would make me happy but it has not. Tired so darn tired all the time. Doctor said lab work was good.

[taurabird 142]

I relate to everything that u are saying, the self medicating with food and other things. I am often bored, with me, with life even....though my life is good, happy and complete. It just always seems that there is something missing and that doesnt change in my experience with the weight loss I have had in the past. The thing that changed every time i lost weight was my ability to move around in the world and to experience it more easily and comfortably in a thinner body than in a fat one. So I have gone into this chapter of my life expecting only one thing to change.....the amount of work it takes me to get around and to experience life will be less than it was.

[Vegasme 30]

I think this is my biggest worry . So much of my family time is centered around what and where we are going to eat.. what will I do after the surgery? In a way I think it will be freeing to not be "hungry" and be able to be more in control , but I too am worried about replacing eating with something else that is satisfying and am scared I may feel lost . hmmm... guess that is the real work- finding yourself and getting out there in life and replacing the satisfaction of food with people and great adventures instead.

[taurabird 142]

Yep. I think that is the only real thing I can expect to find on the other side.....me (whoever the hell that is, lol)

[taurabird 142]

Who says our time can not still revolve around family time that happens to involve food? After the initial year or so I plan to experiment with what it means to be a normal weight; watch what I eat, try to eat healthy things instead of crap and exercise regularly.

[Healthiernewme 81]

I'm very sure many people can relate to how you feel. Look at this as an opportunity to find a more harmonious union with your mind and body, an opportunity you would not have if you were preoccupied with eating all day, and gaining weight and other medical ailments. Perception becomes our reality. How you choose to look at this opportunity will be reflected on how you feel.

Start training your mind now and you will feel amazing.

I'm the opposite. I feel awesome until I look in the mirror. Then, I'm like "oh, sh-t" "I'm not skinny!" And that with a partially disabled leg. LOL. See, I have issues too:)