female only Husband Spying on Me

[Nursebarbie 392]

So what happened?

[Parker's Dad 50]

I read this when it was originally posted and have thought about it quite a bit and have read all the responses. This is the women's room I know but I have to throw in a couple thoughts here. Mods feel free to delete but it will be nothing inappropriate.

First and foremost, I would evaluate the drug issue for the safety of the child. I am not sure what it would be but regardless I would be concerned.

Secondly. There seem to be a ton of trust issues here, and on both sides. You are not sure about the drug situation and it seems to me that he is not fully trusting of you either. Now it appears that there are circumstances that may be giving him reason to be concerned with your activities. Maybe he already thinks you are having an affair and the video taping is an attempt to catch something and not just a means of him trying to get some jollies. How long has it been since you have engaged in sexual relations with him?? Answer that and if you are giving him other reasons to think you are doing sutff you shouldn't be then....... As far as the masturbation goes, just think about it. If he was doing it and refusing you sex (if you wanted it), how would you feel??

The sneaking with passwords etc throws up another flag that you may not be completely honest with him and that is another reason to go hmmmm. I am not saying you are but something does not sound right to me.

How long have the animosity and separation feelings been going on?? The longer it goes without being addressed the worse it gets.

Now in regards to your thoughts of an affair, thinking that much about it thorws up another flag. If you are that far into really thinking about it and don't like your husband that much, just go get your divorce and save the guy some heartache and everyones dignity. I can tell you that that is one of the worst feelings ever. My EX wife cheated and I can tell you that had it not been for some major major self control on my part, things could have been a lot different. I have never been so hurt in all my life.

Moral of the story. I understand there are always two sides of every coin. I don't think it is fair to try to blame all this on him when you may be just as responsible as he is. Both parties probably need to take a step back and look really hard at where you are and where you really want to be. Don't assume some of the things are all him and his mental state. Forego the affair as that will solve or prove nothing for anyone except that that is what you wanted.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do but remember that there are three of you to think about.

[Damaris67 76]

Mystie...you have some SERIOUS psychological traumas. Go get help. Now

[Nursebarbie 392]

Any updates?

[scrapbasket 83]

well by now it probably has gotten a lot worse or a lot better. just a thought, paranoia and suspicion are classic symptoms of drug use especially cocaine and methampetamines. you seem very far apart. what is happening? the events you describe are strange in many ways . I also see a lot of projection, the player is always accusing the partner of playing around it seems.good luck. protect yourself. love sara

[waitingtoexhale 174]

Whew!!!!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

It appears that Mystie posted here for 2-3 days in June 2013 and that was it. For all we know, it was a hoax.

[jessdawn37 27]

I'm trying to figure out what this has to do with Bariatric Surgery. This is Bariatric Pal not a "General" discussion forum.

[LadyPullings 94]

Damn!

[Shell88 157]

@@jessdawn37 and anyone else who didn't see the deep depths of the site they may have entered::

powder Room - Ladies Gone WIld

This is a place for ladies to discuss everything from Gastric Sleeve Surgery (VSG) complications, diet, and concerns, to any other off-topic subjects.

So this is a general forum.

As for @mystie - I have been through the spying and hurt as well with the father of my 18 month old daughter. It's hard. You blame yourself, but in the end a lot of it is symptom of their disease (my fiance is ADHD and was very jealous, insecure, and skeptical even without any aid from me). We are still trying to work through it but the medication he was put on, as well as the couples' counseling has helped a great deal. I know for me at this point it could go up or down from here - I'm hoping better for you <3