female only Husband Spying on Me

[ChristineR 128]

Is he using these drugs or making them? Regardless, I wouldn't want my kiddo around it. Before you know it she'll know how to open the fridge and you wouldn't want her tasting something she shouldn't. When did you notice these changes? Maybe it's the drugs making him act this way. Videotaping against anyone's knowledge is a huge personal violation, married or not!

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

Nothing is wrong with masterbation. But there is something COMPLETELY wrong when a married woman must do so in secrecy...and there something completely DISTURBING with a married man sitting outside of the bedroom door pleasuring himself while spying on his wife. I'm sure his odd behavior has a lot to do with his Aspergers...but the whole "making synthetic drugs in the kitchen" thing is scary. Like others have said...there are clearly deep issues here. And your first concern should be the welfare of your child

Sent from my iPad using VST

I gotta say I disagree with this part. Sometimes a man or a woman just wants the release without having to involve another person. I don't think the OP was trying to HIDE it from her husband; she just doesn't want to put on a show for him.

[t_rob 27]

First off, dude making drugs in the house is a major red flag! Keep your eyes open. That being said, most guys who read this will also ask, how long have you denied your husband marital relations? Keep in mind, he does have physical needs too. So at this point, he's probably desperate, which results in desperate measures, thus the sneaking around. He may even feel left out or like a non-factor. You're getting yours, but he's not getting his. That's a little selfish. And, that can play on anyone's mental. However, if you have not denied him and are just having a personal moment, that's different. He needs to back the hell up! Everyone needs their own space! And by no means should he ever videotape you without your consent! WTH!! In addition, without living in your shoes it's difficult to understand your mental and emotional state. Not to mention the fact that post VST patients are known to have a change in sexual desire. At least during the initial transition as they learn to identify with their new reflection. Some increase activity and some decrease. But the bottom line is, you have to figure out what it is you want. If that does not include your husband, then you should make it known. If you do want your husband, then maybe you guys need that counsel! Just make sure that all of this is not a result of the new attention that you may be receiving from other men now that you are losing weight! Or that your new social or physical status and/or desire is now above your husband's status! Meaning, he's no longer good enough.

[LI Gemini NY 607]

What the hell kind of synthetic drug do you make with a cheese grater and strainer.

Not that I know anything about drugs (just incase the Feds are looking) but I've heard(indirectly) of people (not people that I know of course) using a cheese grater, a strainer and an organic solvent to extract cocaine from cocoa leaves. Craziness!!

[sbeaird 1]

Omg .. I thought these forums were to talk about surgery not to talk about your personal life .. I'm out

[doreyrae 20]

Omg .. I thought these forums were to talk about surgery not to talk about your personal life .. I'm out

Maybe you should look and see what chat room this is first. It says powder Room, Ladies Gone Wild.

[ste_fun_ny 66]

Maybe you should look and see what chat room this is first. It says powder Room' date=' Ladies Gone Wild.[/quote']

For real lol!!!!

[rizabonita 41]

Wow! You sure do have a lot going on all at once...wheew...i hope everything resolves or gets better for u and ur kids.

[Jammy 24]

I agree with some of the others. When you deny your partner intimacy they will eventually try and fulfill that need somehow. Not everyone feels like romping all the time, esp with a 15 month old! BUT, you have to find a way to heal that part of the relationship. Whether through counceling or just sucking it up and giving the guy some action when you don't necessarily feel like it. Something has got to give. Imagine the rejection he feels. You'll bust out the vibrator but not give him affection? I'd feel terrible about myself too if my partner did that. Relationships are a two way street.

[Daydra 345]

Wow. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of these difficult aspects of your life right now. I have to strongly disagree with some of the responders. You are not responsible for your husbands insecurity. You should not be made to feel guilty about seeing to your own needs. And you are in no way responsible for what your husband chooses to do. I expect that in therapy, that will be brought up. What you do need to do, is determine what you are willing to put into the relationship and what you are willing to accept from the relationship. If you aren't happy in the relationship, that's okay, you just need to decide if you are willing to work on it or not. If not, that's okay too. I would just recommend against having an affair, no matter how appealing that might sound occasionally, because that will just create a whole new level of complication in the relationship and in your own mind that will be difficult to deal with.

I do agree with the other posters regarding the drug making... That sounds like much more than a relationship problem, and hopefully you will address what precipitated those actions in therapy.

Best of luck

[Nursebarbie 392]

My ex was a nightmare but I had no idea until after I divorced him he got diagnosed schizophrenic. I left abruptly 7 years ago with my little girl and never looked back. Now I am newly married to a wonderful guy who is light years better than my ex. Staying married to someone who acts like that is a slow death and jeopardizes your child. It is not worth it.

[Ballermom 803]

I agree that there issues going on here that counseling could help you. Affairs are not worth the Guilt and is not an excuse. You could be left holding the emotional bag. From your husband and the person you have the affair with as well as your own stuff. And your husband could use the affair as leverage over you in the end. Instead of repairing the marriage. Affairs can damage you personally, a lot faster . This is my just my opinion!

[JIllette 57]

I think it is time for you and your husband to have a long serious talk. I would also for your childs sake consider marriage counseling to help you guys get back on track. Marriage in itself is work in progress sometimes. My husband and I went through marriage counseling ourselves 2x and have been married now 18.

As for the possible drug issue that needs addressing especially with having a small child. Good luck.

[Nursebarbie 392]

Honestly I am very concerned for you. My husband began doing weird things (oh the stories I can tell you) until after we go divorced he got diagnosed schizophrenic. I'm not saying your husband has a psych problem but his behavior is so out of the norm its kinda scary. It is not worth years trying to shove a round peg in a square hole. I'm here if you want to talk.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

As a therapist and a certified sex therapist I notice that ur husband is a wacko. Laying by the door masturbating and recording u over the Internet is totally gross. These are deviant behaviors and could adversely affect your 15 month old. Does he have a mental illness? What are ur reasons for being with a man with these types of behaviors? Of course I haven't heard of ur part of this relationship. Hope things get better.