I thought I had support...

[inarakatra 51]

My husband has been picking on me lately. I guess I should explain my story. First, I've been overweight for 10 years. I've dieted for the same amount of time. I don't know a day I haven't done some type of diet. I lose ... then gain ... yo-yo. Either way, my weight has always hovered from 230 to 250. Then I found out that if I only gained 10 pounds my insurance would pay for me to have the sleeve. I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I thought my husband was supportive. Now he saying he doesn't think it will work. He now picks on me about my weight. He jiggles my flab when he hugs me and says I have to do it while I can, but then turns around and says that I probablly won't lose it. UGH!!! I'm so frustrated right now.

[teflon55 3]

awww:( Im sorry you have to go through that. Many husbands can be passive aggressive like that, subtly sabotaging your success. All i can suggest is to tell him honestly that doesn't help you and to stop it. He may really be scared if you loose weight. Try not to believe his negative words and find another support group to talk to. Mine used to bring home M&Ms when I started a diet--it's odd isn't it??? Set strong boundaries!! Be honest and bold and believe in yourself:)

[Malugo 31]

You really need to open up and tell him how you feel, I am sure if was the other way around he will have your whole support. Stay strong.

[liteNsun 58]

How many MORE years are YOU comfortable with where you are at now? A window has opened by the offering of a sleeve surgery. Circumstances could change at any time so it closes and no surgery available. YOU already have disapproval historically from your husband, so if you go through the surgery he may disapprove, BUT if you don't have the surgery he will be disapproving sill it seems. So, block out the background noise. Make your own solid decision and "go it alone." But know you have so many here to support you. I set my surgery up with out consult of loved ones and they followed suit. I hope you find a good place with all this.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

thought my husband was supportive.- doesn't think it will work. says that I probablly won't lose it.

inarakatra

i'm also sorry you are getting these conflicting signals from DH(?)

"he doesn't think it will work - you won't lose it!!!!"

if he has nothing good to say right now - oh well, you can't change that

BUT - you can tell him not to be discouraging, mean, rude

please don't 2nd guess yourself about having the WLS!!!!

this procedure will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself, trust me

many/most people on the board say that phrase

i am giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying "i don't think he knows how mean he is being to you"

try and explain your feelings to him

PO hopefully/slowly he will come around

who knows, stranger things have happened

stand tall

best of luck

kathy

[emeraldrose 3]

He is, more than likely, scared himself, that you will change and become a different person, sounds like some serious insecurities on his part.

[inarakatra 51]

I've asked him to stop. I'm not sure what he thinks he is going to accomplish by picking on my. I already told him that my weight made my knee hurt. After I walk 30 minutes, my right foot hurts because of all the weight. I'm not young...I'm not old either, but my body feels old. I have four kids and I'm over weight. I'm not making excuses, I just feel my joints are tired of the weight and they hurt. I want to loss it to feel better. I told him that, but my insurance will deny me if I lose 30 pounds. So I have to keep it where it's at so that I can have the surgery. Can I lose 30 pounds? Yes, but I can't get below that 230 mark and I need to be 150. I'm hoping this surgery will get me there.

[Trodriguez623 34]

I'm going through the same thing yoyo diets but my husband and I started out doing it together and last month he lost his job and benefits now I'm done and have been on my shakes for 2 days now and he makes comments like I'm going leave him after surgery I know it's his own insecurities but words hurt ???? I keep telling myself I'm worth it and I'm don't this for me I am so much more than my weight and I deserve to do this for me ! I can't help how others feel or what's gong on with them but for the first time in my life I'm being selfish enough to say I'm worth it and I'm living my life for me first ! We are all here to support each other through this journey keep your head up it gets better promise ! UPDATE : I took control tonight I went away for a few hours no phone no kids no nothing and when I left things changed my husband realized I'm serious about this and I especially want his support but we had a long talk and he cooked dinner tonight and even made it low carb ???????? keep moving forward