Not so supportive boyfriend...

[ww412 1]

I've just recently looked into getting WLS and brought the idea up to my boyfriend and the only thing he said was "why don't you actually try and lose weight instead of taking the easy route".

Need less to say that started a very heated argument...

Being that he his skinny and has been his whole life, how can I get him to be more supportive and understanding and not so judge mental of the whole situation?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[Tanya_cotto 5]

Why not have him do some research??

Its NOT the easy way out!

I have been told that by so many people (family included)

but I HAVE dieted, Taken pills, exercised like crazy, sweated, bleed, and done all the healthy (and not so healthy) things to lose weight and it has not been successful.

Having these surgeries is not the ''magic'' solution.

you still have to exercise, still have to change your eating habits, and still put up with the crazies who judge you no matter what...

Which is my long winded way of saying that IF you decide to undergo surgery

a) make sure its the right one for you!

- do research

- visit with more than one surgeon

-take your time!

make sure you do it for the right reasons

-your health

- your quality of life

- YOU

c) don't get dragged down by peoples responses.

-some may just fear change and that they'll lose you when you're healthy

- some may be jealous that they don't have the option

- some are just weird or fearful of surgery.

-some are controlling and want to keep you in their ''grasp''

feel free to message me with any questions...

i have had the lapband

had the lapband taken out

revised to the sleeve

lots of exp. here!

the end.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Ain't nothing easy about this, I promise you!

[Shawn Morrison 71]

I agree with Luphoe. You me and everyone on this forum knows its hard but that is only because we learned about it. You need to get him to look into it himself and baring that just share what you learn as you prep. Its far from the easy way. For him or others that do the traditional route, its actually easier in some ways. You will not be able to eat like a normal person for the rest of your life after this. If you were just dieting and exercising you could have a skip day and go pig out with firends on wings and beer (or what ever you like ) but we can.t. We will for ever have the small amount a dieter would have. Its not easy for many other ways but that is one that jumps up whenever I'm going out with friends. Its not something that bugs me anymore but something I think about every now and then.

[liteNsun 58]

I worried my fiance' would not be supportive with my choice, so I went to consult and liked what I heard and set up surgery date for a month later, he had no idea, I am self pay. When I got home he probed so much where had I been. I told him I AM getting surgery for my weight loss on June 19. This let him know clearly that my body in not a democracy. I am confident that I know what is best for me. I explained I am in pain with my "older age hormonal change weight gain." He had met many of my relatives and the women especially have gotten hit hard with later stage weight gain. I told him I will fight to change my fate. He accepted it and has become supportive. I think if you take control others will follow. If you leave it open for conversation you will get just that. Your own self endorsement is really what you must look for. Take charge and don't need permission if your waiting for it.

[GypsyQueen 198]

It very well may be the "easiest" way to lose weight, BUT the decision to change your lifestyle, give up all of your comforts and coping mechanisms, risk a multitude of complications and possible death and choose to be healthy is about the hardest thing you will ever do.

Share with him this.

Statistically speaking, once someone has crossed a 40 bmi, the chance of getting back to a healthy bmi is less than 1%. There are those few, Subway's Jared for example, but that number is crazy low scary. Your brain won't allow you to keep the weight off, it's constantly fighting you!

I explained to my husband (who said the same thing), that this was a line in the sand that I could not move to begin a diet and eat healthy.

Then I took him with me to every appt., etc. and now he's my biggest cheerleader. I probably would have bailed without his support.

They can be turned around. :-)

[suzie2640 2]

I would have him attend the support group meetings with you. My husband was always supportive, thankfully, but his attending really help him learn what I would be going through, what I needed to do and what my life would be like post-op.

[ww412 1]

Thank y'all so much for the advice! I really appreciate it!

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

my husband said the same thing. just diet and exercise. (he's skinny) but I told him my research and the fact that only 3% of people who lose significant amount of weight manage to keep it off. our bodies fight against it by making us hungry at that point. it's not all in our head. every time you diet ghrelin levels go up so you are even hungrier. it is like torture! but with weight loss surgery the ghrelin levels stay pretty flat. google it. there are a lot of studies. I want it to work this time and by that I mean have a better chance to keep it off! Regarding Jared - he lost weight when around 20 years old and he is now 200 lbs from 400 previously. he did not have 35 years of yoyo and ghrelin increasing with every diet and 4 kids, mortgage debt, job insecurity. the odds are better when you are younger and not on your 200th diet , and even then Jared is an exception.

[GypsyQueen 198]

Let's also mention that Jared has Subway there to keep him in line less it tars their multi-gazillion $ image. He was a poor example, but really the only one that comes to mind.

[NewAshes 232]

When I brought it up to my bf he thought it was over the top and that I should try Akins with him and put in some real effort. In the two years we have been together I haven't gone into detail about what I have tried and how long I have been over weight. It still didn't help much but after a few weeks and a informational seminar he's actually excited for me now. Being educated often helps family members out. And time.

[ww412 1]

We've been together a year and I haven't dieted during that year cause I got "comfortable" with myself but I've been to "fat camp", done multiple diets, but never while with him.

I just don't want any more negative thoughts than I'm already having about the whole situation.

[Crazypants 36]

We've been together a year and I haven't dieted during that year cause I got "comfortable" with myself but I've been to "fat camp", done multiple diets, but never while with him.

I just don't want any more negative thoughts than I'm already having about the whole situation.

I wish you luck with this and hope he comes around because you ARE WORTH IT and if he doesn't, I hope you are strong enough to be with someone who deserves you.

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

Do a forum search for "easy route" or "easy way out" and you'll see that unfortunately many (if not most) of us have faced this accusation from friends or family.

[greensleeve 457]

I'm pre-op and waiting to get approved but I agree with everyone else.

You also need to consider that relationships change greatly after WLS. Many people prefer a bigger partner for various reasons and are scared to be with someone who is HWP.