Naysayers

[CANTwaitTObeTHIN 31]

*~* RANT *~* :-)

Well, I'm sure we've all had a friend/family member who just didn't agree with our decision to "take the easy way out" (aren't you so tired of hearing THAT one)!

My brother is ADAMANT that I should not get this surgery and just work harder at dieting and exercise... Yet, the longer I stay heavy the more fat jokes I hear! If i go to the gym 5 days in a row, I hear "you're over doing it"... if i turn down a slice a pizza, i hear "don't act like you're on a diet". If nothing else, I want to be able to eat less and exercise my heart out but the scale just won't budge!

My cousin did the sleeve first, and she warned me not to tell people before, because they would just try to discourage you from getting it done. I assumed my brother would be supportive since he's seen me struggle with my weight all these years.

His decision hasn't deterred me in any way.. I NEED this for MY reasons, no one else's. its just saddening that I need to defend becoming healthier through surgery against spending the rest of my life on these unsuccessful, never-ending diets & exercises!

[Pixie Dust 526]

*~* RANT *~* :-)

Well, I'm sure we've all had a friend/family member who just didn't agree with our decision to "take the easy way out" (aren't you so tired of hearing THAT one)!

My brother is ADAMANT that I should not get this surgery and just work harder at dieting and exercise... Yet, the longer I stay heavy the more fat jokes I hear! If i go to the gym 5 days in a row, I hear "you're over doing it"... if i turn down a slice a pizza, i hear "don't act like you're on a diet". If nothing else, I want to be able to eat less and exercise my heart out but the scale just won't budge!

My cousin did the sleeve first, and she warned me not to tell people before, because they would just try to discourage you from getting it done. I assumed my brother would be supportive since he's seen me struggle with my weight all these years.

His decision hasn't deterred me in any way.. I NEED this for MY reasons, no one else's. its just saddening that I need to defend becoming healthier through surgery against spending the rest of my life on these unsuccessful, never-ending diets & exercises!

I'm so sorry that you're not getting any support, especially from the one person you truly counted on but don't feel alone. We're all here in this together & we're all here for you as well. Someone who has never lived the struggle will never know or understand our battle, so you do what you need to do for you & never mind anyone else.

I could never understand my cousin's wife who was addicted to crack. She had 2 beautiful children & one was a special needs child who really needed his mama. I kept thinking to myself, why can't she just STOP??!!!! Why can't she go to counseling???!!! Rehab??? Well, now having my own demons (my fat) to be rid of, I understand....there are some things you can't do alone. Lucky for us, there is surgery. Unfortunately for my cousin's wife, there was no surgery for her addiction & sadly she O.D'd one day, leaving behind a beautiful 13 y/o daughter & a 17 y/o special needs son.

So you do what YOU need to do for YOU & pay no mind to the ones who want to squash your choice of becoming healthy. Thank you for reminding me why I'm not sharing my surgery decision with anyone else either! My hubby & my 2 best friends from out of state know & my one neighbor who doesn't talk to the other neighbors knows (in case I need help with my special needs son while recouperating or whatever). No one else needs to know & I need all my strength to get me thru this part of my life without someone being negative about my decision.

Good luck to you & know that you'll have a lot of support & encouragement here. I see it every day!

[CANTwaitTObeTHIN 31]

I'm so sorry that you're not getting any support, especially from the one person you truly counted on but don't feel alone. We're all here in this together & we're all here for you as well. Someone who has never lived the struggle will never know or understand our battle, so you do what you need to do for you & never mind anyone else.

I could never understand my cousin's wife who was addicted to crack. She had 2 beautiful children & one was a special needs child who really needed his mama. I kept thinking to myself, why can't she just STOP??!!!! Why can't she go to counseling???!!! Rehab??? Well, now having my own demons (my fat) to be rid of, I understand....there are some things you can't do alone. Lucky for us, there is surgery. Unfortunately for my cousin's wife, there was no surgery for her addiction & sadly she O.D'd one day, leaving behind a beautiful 13 y/o daughter & a 17 y/o special needs son.

So you do what YOU need to do for YOU & pay no mind to the ones who want to squash your choice of becoming healthy. Thank you for reminding me why I'm not sharing my surgery decision with anyone else either! My hubby & my 2 best friends from out of state know & my one neighbor who doesn't talk to the other neighbors knows (in case I need help with my special needs son while recouperating or whatever). No one else needs to know & I need all my strength to get me thru this part of my life without someone being negative about my decision.

Good luck to you & know that you'll have a lot of support & encouragement here. I see it every day!

I cant let his opinion hinder me from becoming a better ME! I just dont get people. I think you said it best "Someone who has never lived the struggle will never know or understand our battle " I get it... I'm not upset with him and in my heart I know he is just ignorant to my struggle.

[Ahealthyme2013 39]

I know exactly how you feel. I too told my immediate family. They are all over the place with the idea and mostly think its too drastic. I am a BMI 37 with high blood pressure and cholesterol not to mention aches and pains. My three siblings are all active cycling, marathon running gym rats. I was Hoping for support, but I agree that only we can make the decision for ourselves. I have so many fears but I can't help but to long for the day of walking up the stairs without being out of breath. I can only hope everything goes well or I'm sure I'll hear endless told you so's. I wish you the very best on your journey:)

[CANTwaitTObeTHIN 31]

I know exactly how you feel. I too told my immediate family. They are all over the place with the idea and mostly think its too drastic. I am a BMI 37 with high blood pressure and cholesterol not to mention aches and pains. My three siblings are all active cycling' date=' marathon running gym rats. I was Hoping for support, but I agree that only we can make the decision for ourselves. I have so many fears but I can't help but to long for the day of walking up the stairs without being out of breath. I can only hope everything goes well or I'm sure I'll hear endless told you so's. I wish you the very best on your journey:)[/quote']

My siblings are all active and thin too! My brother has been a sports player all his life and has wrestled and fought MMA. He doesn't even work out anymore and frequents McDonalds at least twice a day for 3 strawberry & Cream pies! He's as thin as the come!!! My BMI is 42 and if J even look at McDonalds I gain 4 lbs! I'm gonna do everything I can to make this journey a success and I'm sure he'll change his opinion, AFTER! And if not.... OH WELL!

Thanks for the well wishes! I wish you all the same!

[JProx 161]

Yeah they think that's this is easy way out let them try it you have to do what makes you healthy and you have to look out for you God bless good luck.

[gummykandi 20]

You are making the right choice for you. That's all he needs to know if he isn't going to be supportive. Having already had bariatric surgery, I can assure you it is not easy. Worth it? Yes. Easy? No.

[CANTwaitTObeTHIN 31]

You are making the right choice for you. That's all he needs to know if he isn't going to be supportive. Having already had bariatric surgery' date=' I can assure you it is not easy. Worth it? Yes. Easy? No.[/quote']

I can only imagine how hard it's going to be to learn all new eating habits. We take for granted how easy it is to just shove whatever we want in our mouths! Having to make better decisions on what I eat will be hard enough!!!

[CANTwaitTObeTHIN 31]

Yeah they think that's this is easy way out let them try it you have to do what makes you healthy and you have to look out for you God bless good luck.

Thanks!

[PGee 318]

I'm so sorry you have to defend your decision....Some days I want to tell my sister, and some days I don't.....Luckily my husband supports me & is agreeable to keeping mum about it most days [{{wink}}} (he wants me to talk to his mom who is a Nurse....but that defeats the purpose of not talking to people about it LOL)

Thank goodness for this website.....Good luck hon!

[CANTwaitTObeTHIN 31]

I'm so sorry you have to defend your decision....Some days I want to tell my sister' date=' and some days I don't.....Luckily my husband supports me & is agreeable to keeping mum about it most days [{{wink}}} (he wants me to talk to his mom who is a Nurse....but that defeats the purpose of not talking to people about it LOL)

Thank goodness for this website.....Good luck hon![/quote']

Hahahaha... Men can't hold water! I have 3 people that I have been able to confide in and I think thats good enough.

Thanks!

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

Wow, it sounds more like your brother doesn't want you to do the surgery because he doesn't want to lose his punching bag!

[CANTwaitTObeTHIN 31]

Wow, it sounds more like your brother doesn't want you to do the surgery because he doesn't want to lose his punching bag!

Could be! And dont get me wrong, my family (especially my siblings and I) are thicker than thieves! There is no such thing as modesty, privacy or humility to us! We all share EVERYTHING! But sometimes we go a bit far with what we intend as a joke but dont give second thought about how deep it can be interpreted! Especially now that we're older and have our own lives and families. What we use to think was cool or fun, isnt anymore. People change! I dont think he has realized how much I've grown out of the jokes and horsing around! Im hoping he will change his mind afterward and realize how much I NEED this!

[ewhitt 112]

This was a really big deal to me as well. Growing up with 2 older brothers, I ALWAYS got all the jokes and such. I guess that is what brothers are for?

But I am realy surprised that both my brothers have stepped up and are supportive. They don't know much, but we aren't really geographically close, so I haven't shared everything.

Sorry your brother is not stepping up. As you said- maybe he will after surgery?

[NtvTxn 1,262]

You're going to find those who are not supportive, but you have to do what is best for you!!! Some are worried, some are jealous, there are numerous reasons. You'll do fine and you will NOT believe the change in your life one year after surgery!!! Enjoy, it's a wild ride and a lot of fun!!!