Afraid to tell people I've been sleeved

[Eva Linder 47]

If people want to know the secret to your weight loss succes, I think that it is good to share the method in which you can acctually loose weight. There are so many people out there who are desperate to loose weight and get their life back. Of course I don´t go around and telling everybody, but if someone honestly ask what my secret is, I´m proud to tell.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I don't think you opened a can of worms at all. All you did was state your opinion clearly and respectfully. If my last post made you feel otherwise' date=' I am sorry. That was not my intention. At all.

Putting one's opinion on this forum is a good thing. It may differ with others, but as one poster said, it gives one something to think about. Having a different perspective is always good. Agree with it or not, always good to try and see another point of view. I believe that is how we grow.To share or not is highly personal. The rate of loss varies from person to person, sleeved or not. So my opinion is rate of loss is not a big deal.

My general opinion is, do what is right for you to succeed at reaching your goal. Most people that have not been living under a rock know about WLS. People will look into if and when they are ready, regardless of what others do.

You are doing great and I wish you the very best success and look forward to when I am as close to my goal as you are![/quote']

Thank you but I'm good ppl will look up wls on the own and ppl kno about it from commercials but you kno what made me feel more comfortable about it because my cardiologist had it 3 yrs ago and shared pics w me and I was like wow knowing some one is a whole lot better then seeing it on Tv or looking on some internet

[JeffA70 200]

I have told everyone. Have lost one friend because of it, and had a somewhat rude comment from one other person. Out of hundreds. Such is life.

These days, I'm telling people that I lost the weight from "diet, exercise and surgery." It's true...wasn't my surgeon busting his ass on the elliptical last night.

[gaijingal 62]

I made the decision not to tell, mostly because I didn't want to talk about it all the time, and it's nobody's business but mine. I even had my line ready -- if anybody asked I was going to say I was using "The 19th Century Lifestyle Method -- cocaine and tapeworms." I figured that would stop too much inquisition.

Unfortunately, I work in the ER, and had a medical crisis when I went back to work, and was bleeding internally. I thought my sleeve had ruptured, and so did the doc, but it turned out to be an unrelated medical problem. The doc worked her hardest to keep it secret, even coding her notes, but we'll see if it comes out. It was very hard not to tell my friends who where taking care of me, but it takes one person who doesn't think it's a big deal to tell a gossip hound, and then everybody's talking about it.

[sunshiinej1 3]

It's your body and you don't have to tell people. I am not telling people at work but I did tell my family and close friends.

[Daydra 345]

Everyone needs to make the decision on whether to tell that is right for them. I totally respect that it's no one else's business, and everyone is completely within their rights to keep it to themselves if that's what is most comfortable.

Having said that, I hate hate hate that we (the royal we) feel like we have to keep things a secret if it's motivated by embarrassment or shame. It really makes me sad that nearly everyone on some level has something about our bodies or whatever that we're ashamed of, despite whatever it is being normal or at least fairly common. Whether it's weight struggles or std's or pooping in a public restroom for crap's sake (hehe)! I just wish that we could all talk about things more openly in general so that people don't have to suffer in silence and feel so alone.

Judgement on our culture, not individual choices... I totally support individual decisions to keep it private. (just to make that absolutely clear...)

[Supersweetums 1,164]

I am 2.5 years post op and still haven't told a lot of people. I think it is a very personal decision to make. I choose not to in the beginning not because of embarrassment, but more because I didn't want anyone talking me out of it. My husband knew, and my parents, period. And even that, my father was trying to talk me out of it, saying I didn't need it, I was fine the way I was (when I clearly was not!), etc. I didn't want the stress of trying to defend my decision to everyone. Then, afterward, I thought I would tell everyone, but I just haven't. Some of my closer friends know that knew me before surgery, and my family knows. But others do not. I have not had many people ask what I have done either, they just tell me how good I look. I have only had one person really ask what I did, and I was vague because I know this person is a gossip type of person and would have told everyone! And I don't feel like every teacher and parent at my son's school needs to know, and everyone that I would just consider an acquaintance either. If I knew someone was really struggling and they asked, perhaps then.

But really, I am not my WLS and I do not want to be defined that way..oh there is the woman that had that surgery....The people that know I have had surgery do not treat me any differently, and others just know me as me!

[aliekat55 157]

I feel the same way. I have only told my wife and one dear highly nonjudgmental friend. This decision is mine, not the world's and it is going to be hard enough without having to fight the insensitive comments from those that never had this issue.

However, it seems to me that we dont get the choice to keep it to ourselves, at some point the success of the surgery will announce our decision louder than we could.

I have been a family doc in a small town for 23 years so I know that soon afterwards the word will get out. I am bracing myself for it.

aliekat

[gaijingal 62]

Well! I had to go back to Emerg, and this time went to a different hospital. However, the healthcare world is so small, I still ran into people I knew, but they were very respectful and didn't get involved in my care.

The doctor who saw me took care of me, made sure my concerns were resolved and then SHOOK MY HAND for being so brave as to do something proactive about my weight and my health, and told me that he really admired me. He has a family member who is thinking about WSL, and asked for my advice, and sat down and talked to me for ages about sleeving.

What was really wonderful about this was that he had a med student with him, who saw all the respect he showed for me and my struggles with my weight, and gave me an opportunity to show this budding doctor what an overweight person goes through, and that we're not just dummies who don't know not to shovel burgers in our mouths all the time.

I've been really impressed with my healthcare team here. The people I thought were going to be most judgemental have been the most supportive, and the worst response I've gotten has been disinterest.

I'm still not telling my friends though!

(And, I got offered a job at that Emerg! Yay! Who wouldn't want to work with such a svelte, competent nurse?)

[Thatguy 53]

you this actually occur in my mind before i got surgery than someone pointed out you can be pretty ugly rich poor etc. ppl will always talk about you no matter what, let them be jelly of what you can become by the end of the day you look urself in the mirror and say ya i did it for me. Dnt feel ashame cause you got the sleeve remember it just a tool use to your advantage for a better life.

[ydnarb34 0]

I told some of my co- workers on a as need basis. Im not of shame of what I did I should be a spokeswoman for the sleeve (lo). If a person having a opinion on me trying to live a healthier lifestyle thats there problem. I very excited bout what I have done Im 13week out now. At some point I got tired telling the same story because it was noticeable at work. I wear a uniform (old size 42) new size 34. So don't be afraid if you chose to tell people are just opinionated anyway they judge Jesus too! Tell them to build a bridge and get over it. Good luck!

[Daydra 345]

I have a friend who has a friend (Isn't this the way all good stories start???) who was always thin. She had a mom and a sister that were overweight. She had an injury at some point and gained a little weight (and I mean a little, 5-10 pounds or something) she needed to lose after she recovered. She said she felt horrible, because it was the first time she had ever had to diet and she was MISERABLE from being hungry all the time. She had always thought weight problems were simply an issue of not having self control. Until she had to lose weight herself, she did not understand what it felt like to have to diet. And she only needed to lose a few pounds, not 50, or 100, or 150... People that have always been thin can't possibly understand what we go through because they can't imagine the physical feeling of limiting calories enough to lose weight.

I really felt like that story was validating (going back to your post about that awesome doctor that gave so much respect).

Best of luck as you heal and lose!!!

[devine.adon 49]

It doesn't really matter if you tell or not, if you go from 250-300 lbs to 150 lbs in 6- 12 months people will know! I live in a horrible gossip village small town so I know I will eventually have to tell bc I don't want to lie about it... There are several people in this town that have had the band and RNY and they actually lie about it, it's their thing I know but when the lady that teaches Sunday school class that has lost over 200+ lbs in just a little over a year stands there and tells you oh I've just worked so hard at this diet and get lots of exercise.. I don't agree with that!!! Don't lie... If you don't want to tell that's one thing but if someone asks you, did you have surgery then please don't lie about it!

[Eva Linder 47]

I don´t understand the worry and concern about "the shame"? What shame? When I hear about a person who has had wls I get inspired and happy that there are people who will do whatever it takes to regain health and loose the overweight. I tell people about my sleeve if the subject comes up and I am proud to have prioritised my life before any material things. If people want to keep it a secret it´s ok, I just think it´s a pitty if they do it because they think it´s shameful.

[Eva Linder 47]

I don´t understand the worry and concern about "the shame"? What shame? When I hear about a person who has had wls I get inspired and happy that there are people who will do whatever it takes to regain health and loose the overweight. I tell people about my sleeve if the subject comes up and I am proud to have prioritised my life before any material things. If people want to keep it a secret it´s ok, I just think it´s a pitty if they do it because they think it´s shameful.