Am I setting a bad example?

[Goddardgo 90]

Yesterday I was asked by a family member the following question regarding how excited I am about getting sleeved....

"What kind of example are you setting for your girls"?

It hit me in a really weird way. I didn't know if I should be defensive or just keep my mouth shut and vent about it later... as you can see, I am venting now! I didn't think about the negative things I would hear about something I am going to do to my body for me. I do have four beautiful children and three of them are girls. Yes, over the years I have fed my family nothing but fat people food and that is why I am trying to do something not only about my weight, but about my life by doing this. I thought if anything I would be setting a good example for the girls. I would get the sleeve and although they will see me suffer for a month (pre op included) , but then they would begin to finally see me as somebody with control in my life for once. Right?

I don't know how to explain to the person that asked me this that yes it's true, I can diet and I can exercise and I can lose weight on my own... I have done it several times, and then BAM it's all back on. I can not gain full control of my weight.

Have any of you had to go through this where you had to listen to people preach to you about what you should be doing to your body and how did you deal with it?

[newat52 1,613]

The older I get the less tolerant of stupid and invasive questions of people. To the question posed to you, I would have answered with this question: Why on earth would you ask me a question like that? To which the most likely they would stammer well, I'm just curious, that's all. My reply would be, yes, I can see that. Then walk away.

I just have no time and patience for people trying to undermine and judge me.

[Oliver's Mom 258]

Just my opinion, but I think you ARE setting a great example for your children. You will be eating differently and cooking differently for your family, you will be exercising, drinking Water - all of these things are good examples for your children. They are seeing you address a situation with your weight, your health and gaining control.

I don't know who this person is in your life, but you don't owe an explanation to anyone (IMHO) you're an adult, I would guess that you made this decision with great thought.

Be proud girl, you doing something good for yourself.

[No game 14,437]

Just my opinion' date=' but I think you ARE setting a great example for your children. You will be eating differently and cooking differently for your family, you will be exercising, drinking Water - all of these things are good examples for your children. They are seeing you address a situation with your weight, your health and gaining control.

I don't know who this person is in your life, but you don't owe an explanation to anyone (IMHO) you're an adult, I would guess that you made this decision with great thought.

Be proud girl, you doing something good for yourself.[/quote']

Ditto this ^^^

I couldn't of said it any better

[RAAinNH 113]

"What kind of example are you setting for your girls"?

I think you are setting a wonderful example! You are showing your daughters that you have decided to take charge of your health. You will be continuing to set a good example by eating healthy foods and by exercising regularly. Next time you are confronted by such a rude and judgmental question, smile and say "I am setting a wonderful example for my daughters"

By the way.... My daughter is very proud of me and it feels great!

[Kami63 215]

My opinion of course...Well you could ask the person what kind of example would it be if I started to have really bad health problems and my children lost their mother at an early age?

My husband told me once that he was afraid hat he was going to have to wheel me around in a wheelchair in a couple of years. I am only 31 and my weight was breaking my body down. Even 45 lbs lighter, I still have horrible back and knee pain. So he was probably right.

[srs82781 83]

The example I set for my daughter it that I am going to be around to watch her grow up! Enough said lol!

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

You are setting a fantastic example for your children.. You are facing your problem head on and putting your health first. You are not caring what everyone else thinks, you're doing what's best for you! What you are doing takes both courage and humility.. I know many people who are too afraid of what people think.. I know others who are too prideful.. "I can do it myself, I'm not going to do it the easy way" ... of course they never do.. but they are too proud to admit that they need a little help. Yup, I'd say you're setting a fantastic example for your kids.. Do what's best for you, don't worry about what others think. Stick with it and don't be too proud to accept a little help if you need it!

[chinamama 104]

How old are your kids?

[Goddardgo 90]

My oldest is 17 the only boy and the girls are 16, 12 and 10..

[Goddardgo 90]

Thank you all very much for your help with this. I hate having doubt and just when I absolutly knew that this is what I wanted to do, she went and tried to throw a wrench in it.. I appreciate all of the support. I can not tell you how happy I am that I found this site...

I feel a lot better after reading all of your responses.. have a great weekend!!