Jellybeansoup 12 Posted June 7, 2013 Docbree, Do not let your mom be involved in this unless she is going to be a support to you. I did not tell my mom I was having surgery and she still does not know. She would have never wanted me to do it and she would've tried her best to talk me out of it and I just didn't want to deal with it. Go forward, be strong, it will change your life. You will never regret this. I am just 11 days postop and I can't tell you how much better I feel and I know it's only going to get better. I wish you strength and perseverance. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
docbree 199 Posted June 7, 2013 Ha! And I finally said "yes you can come down and drive me" ( didn't really need her I have a perfectly good husband at home) So the crazy b***h (gotta love her) shows up on my front porch the morning of the surgery' date=' with not 1 but 2 platters of Cookies in her hands and a cookie hanging out of her mouth because she was "starving" I really don't know how I got fat... [/quote'] Cookies? Seriously??? She is crazy. . But congratulations on having a perfectly good husband! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
docbree 199 Posted June 7, 2013 Docbree' date='Do not let your mom be involved in this unless she is going to be a support to you. I did not tell my mom I was having surgery and she still does not know. She would have never wanted me to do it and she would've tried her best to talk me out of it and I just didn't want to deal with it. Go forward, be strong, it will change your life. You will never regret this. I am just 11 days postop and I can't tell you how much better I feel and I know it's only going to get better. I wish you strength and perseverance.[/quote'] Thank you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms.AntiBand 2,984 Posted June 7, 2013 DocBree.. Are you a dr? If you are it seems like you're mom would trust your medical decisions? I guess a Mom is always a Mom. Leave it to a mom to piss us off to no end and we still love them all the same. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LipstickLady 25,682 Posted June 7, 2013 Ha! And I finally said "yes you can come down and drive me" ( didn't really need her I have a perfectly good husband at home) So the crazy b***h (gotta love her) shows up on my front porch the morning of the surgery, with not 1 but 2 platters of Cookies in her hands and a cookie hanging out of her mouth because she was "starving" I really don't know how I got fat... I wouldn't let mine take me but I had to let her bring me home. She wanted to stop at the grocery and do a little shopping (for herself, not for me) so that she "wouldn't have to go back out". Please note that she lives less than two miles from the market and I heaved multiple times into a plastic bag during the 25 minute ride home. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No game 14,437 Posted June 7, 2013 I wouldn't let mine take me but I had to let her bring me home. She wanted to stop at the grocery and do a little shopping (for herself' date=' not for me) so that she "wouldn't have to go back out". Please note that she lives less than two miles from the market and I heaved multiple times into a plastic bag during the 25 minute ride home.[/quote'] Your mom wins! That's messed up! On a side note I can't wait to drive my kids crazy after they become adults.. 1 docbree reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LipstickLady 25,682 Posted June 7, 2013 If she's the prize, you can have her. HA! I have made my kids swear to tell me if I turn anything like her as I get older. No ****. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No game 14,437 Posted June 7, 2013 If she's the prize' date=' you can have her. HA! I have made my kids swear to tell me if I turn anything like her as I get older. No ****.[/quote'] Give her to me... i'll do the same thing with her that I have planned for my mom. Granny dumping in front of a state run old folks home! It's easy just make sure to take away all of their identification Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LipstickLady 25,682 Posted June 8, 2013 Maybe they can be BFFs. Mine is the super skinny, never had a weight problem, makes disparaging remarks about fat people in front of me but is blind to the fact that I am one of them types. She is completely out of her gourd and needs someone to listen to her talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and craft with. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MizzouGirl 148 Posted June 8, 2013 I wouldn't let mine take me but I had to let her bring me home. She wanted to stop at the grocery and do a little shopping (for herself, not for me) so that she "wouldn't have to go back out". Please note that she lives less than two miles from the market and I heaved multiple times into a plastic bag during the 25 minute ride home. That's awful!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dawnyellow 80 Posted June 17, 2013 I love my mom dearly but I don't think I want to tell her until the week after surgery. My mom still tries to tell me that I am not fat, that I don't need to lose weight. Every time I have ever gone on a diet she tells me she is afraid I will waste away to nothing. When I brought up wanting to have the surgery in the past she went into tears and blamed herself for my bad self esteem. She is very small and has no personal experience with significant weight loss. I'm feeling so much better having you all to talk to- Your progress is so encouraging Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taurabird 142 Posted June 17, 2013 I didn't tell my mom a word until everything was done and I had a surgery date!! So she couldn't say much. As a matter of fact she felt so out of the loop she begged to at least be able to come down and drive me to the hospital. I did the same thing. Oh btw mom I am doing XXXX next Wednesday, just thought I would let you know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vsgBrook2013 16 Posted June 17, 2013 My mom and I are very close - she's my best friend. However' date=' she is totally against me getting sleeved. In fact, I saw the surgeon in February, and haven't done any of my "assignments" yet because she talked me out of it. Today I scheduled my sleep study and NUT. When I told her, I got the same negative responses I always get. Aside from the what if's she keeps throwing at me (what if you die, what if you waste away to 80 pounds...) - what I keep getting is: "Why don't you just put all the time and effort you'd be spending after surgery on WW and exercise?" Arghh! I have been trying that for over 30 years! Why can't she understand - and how can I try to make her? I really need her support on this.[/quote'] My mother is doing the exact same thing. I know she's just scared. I probably would be too if my daughter were going through this. On the other side she has been a very negative person my whole life. I try to just focus on how lucky I am to have this opportunity and I think I've realized that I'm never going to be able to change her and or be able to convince her this is a good thing. I get real angry when she starts her what if you die bs when my kids are present. My husband and i have gone to great lengths to prepare them and then she starts in and i have worried kids. I still wish I had her support. More importantly I wish she'd be there for me holding my hand with words of encouragement but in reality I won't have her. Hopefully you have others who are supportive for you. Just remember this is something you are doing for you. 1 FeeIsMe2 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FeeIsMe2 508 Posted June 17, 2013 Are you doing the surgery for you or her? It's for you, it's your life, it's your health! If she is not going to support you, just make the appointments and don't tell her. You are an adult, you can do this! Good Luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CML65 3 Posted June 17, 2013 My mom is always negative. When I was thin I was TOO THIN. However since I have gained weight (20 yrs now) she will call me up & work onto every conversation about how fat i am. She used to tell me I wouldn't get married "because men want their women to look good". Well I got married 8 yrs ago. He loves me no matter what. When I decided to do the surgery I told NO ONE but my husband. I let my family know once I had a date. I told them that if they couldn't be supportive to please say nothing at all because I am doing this for me and my health. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites