Liar Liar?!?

[Mstrosec 28]

I’ve been “lurking” here on VST for about 10 months (I’m 9 months post-op). I’m pretty good at using the ‘search’ option and ‘Google’ so I didn’t see the need to actually join the site…until now. I have learned so much from so many of you and appreciate all the knowledge and opinions that are shared on this site…and let’s not forget the endless entertainment provided by a special few (you know who you are)…seriously, thank you!

Here’s my issue…

I’ve been working out with a personal trainer since I was 6 weeks post-op. I met my trainer through my NUT so he is aware of my WLS and has helped me modify my diet as our work outs progressed. I work out with my PT 4 days a week and 2 days on my own. We work out in a “trainer’s gym” that’s fairly small so I’ve gotten to know almost everybody there. It’s a very positive and encouraging environment. They’ve all noticed my weight loss and body transformation and compliment me regularly…I know, it’s just awful, right?

The thing is…I feel a little guilty that I don’t tell them about my WLS, but I also feel like I eat clean and work really hard in the gym to get where I am now. Because of my significant transformation (I'm not at my weight loss goal yet, but am getting pretty defined), they’ve asked me to do a testimonial for the gym’s website and to show my before and current pics. I know it’s silly, but I really don’t know what to do. I haven’t lied about my surgery to anyone but I don’t offer the info to people I don’t know either. I thought about just talking about the positive environment and how it’s helped me reach my personal goals…that’s the truth…but if you saw the video and knew I had WLS, would you feel like I was being dishonest? What would you do?

[Ladydawg2009 39]

I would be honest and still do the testimonial. Surgery alone does not get the kind of results you are getting. They may welcome that type of testimonial rather than the usual.

[joatsaint 2,814]

I thought about just talking about the positive environment and how it’s helped me reach my personal goals

I think you nailed it with the above quote. I wouldn't feel uncomfortable about doing a testimonial around that statement. But you must feel comfortable with yourself and do what you think is right.

[No game 14,437]

I would politely decline

And then do a happy dance in private because they asked me!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

I'm all for not telling if you don't want too, but if you decide to say anything like you mentioned I think its all or none. I havent told anyone other than my husbsnd and kids. But if I decided to talk about my transformation I'd include it all..

Just my teeny weeny 2cents.

[Jeffie Beck 57]

It's funny, I was getting ready to post a thread similar to this one regarding a situation I'm in (I'll probably still post it, so keep an eye out if you can). The thing is, when I was heavy, I watched someone I know shrink and when I asked what she did, she told me precisely what you said (and what many of us are doing post op): eating clean and working out. I asked her for specifics, and she gladly gave them, she shared her recipes, diet, and exercise plans, but I had nowhere near the results she had. When I confessed to her about how my incessant hunger was defeating my resolve, she sympathized and cheered me on. But when I started looking into my wls options, guess who I saw had a profile on this site?!?! I was hurt and tormented by the fact that I felt she gave me a false hope. Not because the things she suggested don't work (obviously they do, especially for us now), but because the success she presented wasn't real, I think I allowed myself to set unreal expectations for myself based on her results. I should say that she lost over 100lbs in 10 months, so I'm talking about a major change that is not easy to make, hopefully that helps you understand better why I was so eager to believe in her success, bc I was looking for similarly miraculous results. Had she been honest with me, and all those that are also obese who asked, I think we could have adjusted our expectations and results more realistically. Obv none of us should base our results on a single person's testimony, but when you've tried for 20 years to do something, then you see someone you know do the seemingly impossible, I think it's understandable how someone could pin all their hopes on someone. Not sure how this relates to you, except to say, please be mindful on who is using you for their personal hope. Sure, you're not responsible for them, but try to remember how they might feel. This is a tough one, because this is your business and you have no obligation to anyone but yourself. Hmmm, quite the pickle indeed.

[Mstrosec 28]

I would politely decline

And then do a happy dance in private because they asked me!

I did do a happy dance!!!

[brandnewbie 42]

The only concern I would have is the liability factor. This is not to say that you have not literally worked your butt off at their gym, but it could come back to haunt them as false advertising. The easiest thing to ease your decision might be to discuss it with the staff member you trust the most and have them look into the details for you.

[No game 14,437]

It's funny' date=' I was getting ready to post a thread similar to this one regarding a situation I'm in (I'll probably still post it, so keep an eye out if you can). The thing is, when I was heavy, I watched someone I know shrink and when I asked what she did, she told me precisely what you said (and what many of us are doing post op): eating clean and working out. I asked her for specifics, and she gladly gave them, she shared her recipes, diet, and exercise plans, but I had nowhere near the results she had. When I confessed to her about how my incessant hunger was defeating my resolve, she sympathized and cheered me on. But when I started looking into my wls options, guess who I saw had a profile on this site?!?! I was hurt and tormented by the fact that I felt she gave me a false hope. Not because the things she suggested don't work (obviously they do, especially for us now), but because the success she presented wasn't real, I think I allowed myself to set unreal expectations for myself based on her results. I should say that she lost over 100lbs in 10 months, so I'm talking about a major change that is not easy to make, hopefully that helps you understand better why I was so eager to believe in her success, bc I was looking for similarly miraculous results. Had she been honest with me, and all those that are also obese who asked, I think we could have adjusted our expectations and results more realistically. Obv none of us should base our results on a single person's testimony, but when you've tried for 20 years to do something, then you see someone you know do the seemingly impossible, I think it's understandable how someone could pin all their hopes on someone. Not sure how this relates to you, except to say, please be mindful on who is using you for their personal hope. Sure, you're not responsible for them, but try to remember how they might feel. This is a tough one, because this is your business and you have no obligation to anyone but yourself. Hmmm, quite the pickle indeed.[/quote']

Girl!! The first thing you need to do is send her a friend request!!

And then you need to pm me her profile name so I can silently judge her

I'm all for not telling everyone and their brother my personal business BUT if someone were obese and asked me how I was doing it I would tell them EVERYTHING! Because this surgery IS part of how we are doing it..

[Harlequin 2]

I know plenty of people that had WLS and didn't get anywhere close to their goal. In all successes with WLS, it's exercise that works. The fact that you're doing it, you should be sooooo proud of yourself.

If it was me, I'd tell them the truth (that WLS doesn't work without exercise). What success you've had is due to what you've done with your trainer and at the gym. If they have an issue, they just don't understand.

In any case, you are doing awesome and congrats! Best wishes...

[No game 14,437]

I did do a happy dance!!!

Oh and you can put your before and afters up here!

[Mstrosec 28]

It's funny, I was getting ready to post a thread similar to this one regarding a situation I'm in (I'll probably still post it, so keep an eye out if you can). The thing is, when I was heavy, I watched someone I know shrink and when I asked what she did, she told me precisely what you said (and what many of us are doing post op): eating clean and working out. I asked her for specifics, and she gladly gave them, she shared her recipes, diet, and exercise plans, but I had nowhere near the results she had. When I confessed to her about how my incessant hunger was defeating my resolve, she sympathized and cheered me on. But when I started looking into my wls options, guess who I saw had a profile on this site?!?! I was hurt and tormented by the fact that I felt she gave me a false hope. Not because the things she suggested don't work (obviously they do, especially for us now), but because the success she presented wasn't real, I think I allowed myself to set unreal expectations for myself based on her results. I should say that she lost over 100lbs in 10 months, so I'm talking about a major change that is not easy to make, hopefully that helps you understand better why I was so eager to believe in her success, bc I was looking for similarly miraculous results. Had she been honest with me, and all those that are also obese who asked, I think we could have adjusted our expectations and results more realistically. Obv none of us should base our results on a single person's testimony, but when you've tried for 20 years to do something, then you see someone you know do the seemingly impossible, I think it's understandable how someone could pin all their hopes on someone. Not sure how this relates to you, except to say, please be mindful on who is using you for their personal hope. Sure, you're not responsible for them, but try to remember how they might feel. This is a tough one, because this is your business and you have no obligation to anyone but yourself. Hmmm, quite the pickle indeed.

Thank you so much for this perspective. I hadn't thought about it from that point of view. I have been honest with everyone who has asked me directly because I do believe honesty is the best policy...and I'm a horrible liar! I think that's why I think it's silly that I'm struggling with this decision. I think I'm going to pass on it...at least until I feel more comfortable talking about the surgery.

[Jeffie Beck 57]

The only concern I would have is the liability factor. This is not to say that you have not literally worked your butt off at their gym, but it could come back to haunt them as false advertising. The easiest thing to ease your decision might be to discuss it with the staff member you trust the most and have them look into the details for you.

Very good point!

[Jeffie Beck 57]

I know plenty of people that had WLS and didn't get anywhere close to their goal. In all successes with WLS, it's exercise that works. The fact that you're doing it, you should be sooooo proud of yourself.

If it was me, I'd tell them the truth (that WLS doesn't work without exercise). What success you've had is due to what you've done with your trainer and at the gym. If they have an issue, they just don't understand.

In any case, you are doing awesome and congrats! Best wishes...

That's so true!!! I think ppl judge those of us who have had wls as if all of our success was just as simple as going under the knife. And i just want to shake them and say "NO!! We still have to bust our humps!! The sleeve is just a tool to help us with our success, it does NOT ensure success!!!" I think Harlequin has the best advice yet: tell them the truth that WLS doesn't work without exercise. At least then your honesty is addressing misconceptions and expectations. Very good advice to consider, I think..

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

For me, I'd have to tell them I had wls. It is very deceiving to say that all the benefits came from the gym. I might talk to the people featuring the article first and he or she would probably publish it anyways because it would also attract individuals that have had wls. So it's targeting a new demographic that could increase their revenue. You have still worked hard to get where you are but you had an additional tool to add to your tool box...... JMO