Doubters

[NiqueJ 140]

Hi all!!! I'm due to be sleeved June 21st... So can't wait!! Anywho, in the beginning of this journey, I kept things to myself. I feared people looking at me crazy or asking if I'm such a proud Big Girl, why am I having this surgery. At that time I only told my family. Well since I got my surgery date (did I mention its June 21st.. Lol), I've began telling people. Some are excited for me and some are skeptical because of people they knew in the past with not so great outcomes of the bypass. My biggest thing is, people I felt would be in my corner are not. What do I do? It's not a reason to cut them off, but at the same time, I don't need/want the negativity around me either....

[Lisha73 97]

I dont let peoples negativity affect me that way...it to me is more of a challenge to prove the doubters wrong. use it as fuel for the future.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

We can't control what people think but we can choose to take a break from them.

[NMJG 1,266]

Congrats on getting your date. You go and keep on being a proud, healthy girl!

[Bufflehead 6,358]

Anyone who is negative, I would just tell them, "I know you are concerned and I really appreciate that. But this is a decision I made very carefully and I'm feeling positive about it. If you can't join me in being positive, can you please just not say anything at all?" and if they can't respect that, just cut them off if they try to bring up something negative. "Thanks but I'm aware of your concern . . . let's talk about [a good movie/the weather/anything else] instead." And then if they still can't keep their negativity to themselves, that's when you stop seeing them or talking to them until well after surgery. That's my plan anyway

[NiqueJ 140]

Thanks you all!!!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

All the more reason to succeed! Your new healthy lifestyle is going to prove you did the right thing

[DaFierce1 71]

Hi all!!! I'm due to be sleeved June 21st... So can't wait!! Anywho' date=' in the beginning of this journey, I kept things to myself. I feared people looking at me crazy or asking if I'm such a proud Big Girl, why am I having this surgery. At that time I only told my family. Well since I got my surgery date (did I mention its June 21st.. Lol), I've began telling people. Some are excited for me and some are skeptical because of people they knew in the past with not so great outcomes of the bypass. My biggest thing is, people I felt would be in my corner are not. What do I do? It's not a reason to cut them off, but at the same time, I don't need/want the negativity around me either....[/quote']

I started the same... Wait let me start by saying yayyyy on ur date! Lol

Ok i started the same not really telling ppl but then I started to as my visits start to progress. The ones that I thought would b like y r u doing that r the most supportive & the ones that I thought would understand, gave me the third degree.. So i wrote a letter to the ones i told & from there thats it thats all.. I included my letter to them sorry so long...

HI ALL IF YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS, IT MEANS THAT I HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DECISION I MADE FOR MYSELF REGARDING MY WIEGHT. MY DECISION DIDN’T HAPPEN OVER NIGHT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I REALLY GAVE THOUGHT TO OVER THE YEARS. I FOUND SOMETHING THAT WAS MUCH SAFER THAN GETTING THE BYPASS AND MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THE LAP-BAND. IT IS CALLED THE VERTICAL SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY.. (FOR SHORT THE SLEEVE OR YOU MAY ALSO HEAR/SEE VGS).. U CAN LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE OR YOU CAN WATCH AN ACTUAL SURGERY ON YOU TUBE, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT IS.

I HAVE BEEN BATTLING WITH MY WIEGHT SINCE I WAS 15 OR 16 YEARS OLD. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS NOT EASY FOR ME TO HANDLE. IVE BEEN TRYING AND HAVE TRIED A LOT OF THINGS AND I STILL FAIL. NOT BEATING MYSELF UP, I KNOW THAT EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND HAS MANY STRENGTHS BUT THIS IS ONE THING THAT KEEPS BEATING ME. I HAVE HEALTH PROBLEMS AND IF I CANT GET THEM UNDER CONTROL ALONG WITH MY WEIGHT IT CAN LEAD TO OTHER PROBLEMS AND POSSIBLY DEATH. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING AND I FEEL THAT THIS WILL DEFINITELY HELP ME.

MY GOAL WITH THIS IS NOT TO JUST BECOME SKINNY, (WHICH IT WOULD BE NICE) I WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND FIT. I WANT TO BE AROUND FOR MY CHILD. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THINGS WITH HER AND NOT BE SO TIRED AND LAZY AND NOT WANT TO. GOING PLACES I CANT PARTICIPATE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT RESTRICTIONS..

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD THAT YOU CAN’T GET ON A RIDE AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK BECAUSE YOU ARE OVER THE WEIGHT LIMIT? DO YOU WORRY WHEN YOU GO OUT TO EAT AS A GROUP AND PRAY THAT THEY HAVE TABLES AVAILABLE AND NOT JUST BOOTHS? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A PLACE WITH ONLY BOOTHS AND TRY TO SQUEEZE INTO THE BOOTH? (AND NOW I CAN HARDLY EAT CUZ MY STOMACH IS PUSHED UP INTO MY CHEST) HAVE YOU BEEN RIDICULED FOR BEING THE SIZE THAT YOU ARE? EVERYDAY I CHOOSE TO DRIVE TO WORK AND PAY FOR PARKING THAT I CANT AFFORD BECAUSE ONCE I GET ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION I HAVE TO ARGUE WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE OF MY WIEGHT AND BELIEVE ME THESE PEOPLE DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SAY TO ME. PEOPLE CAN BE SOOOO RUDE AND MEAN. I CAN SAY I HAVE NEVER WITNESSED THIS BEFORE UNTIL RECENT YEARS.. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO THAT. WHY WORRY ABOUT MY WIEGHT? ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY I KNOW YOU MAY BE CONCERN OR MAY HAVE SOMETHING YOU MAY WANT TO SAY REGARDING IT. I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN BUT ALSO IF YOUR CONCERNS ARE NEGATIVE, I REALLY DON’T NEED THAT RIGHT NOW. I NEED ALL OF THE SUPPORT I CAN GET. IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN NOT GIVE THAT PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WON’T BRING IT UP AGAIN WITH YOU.. I DON’T QUITE KNOW WHAT AFFECT THIS WILL HAVE ON ME BUT I MAY NEED TO TALK AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT SO I NEED THOSE THAT WILL BE THERE TO HAVE MY BACK..

JUST KNOW THAT IM EXCITED, IM SCARED AND IM READY TO GET STARTED ON A NEW LIFESTYLE THAT WILL BRING BENEFITS TO NOT ONLY ME BUT TO JORDYN AS WELL. A LIFESTYLE THAT I WILL HAVE TO ADJUST TO. IT MAY TAKE ME A WHILE TO DO IT BUT I HAVE FAITH IN THE LORD AND IN MY SELF THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. I KNOW THAT THERE ARE POSSIBILITES OF COMPLICATIONS AND EVEN DEATH ( IF ITS MY TIME THEN ITS MY TIME AND I HAVE MADE PEACE WITH THAT) BUT I FEEL IF I CONTINUE DOWN THE ROAD IM ON AND NOTHING GET RESOLVED I WILL FACE THOSE SAME OUT COMES THAT’S POSSIBLE WITH SURGERY.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, LISTENING (READING) AND YOUR SUPPORT, SORRY SO LONG..

LaTasha

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[awifeinmichigan 233]

I started the same... Wait let me start by saying yayyyy on ur date! Lol

Ok i started the same not really telling ppl but then I started to as my visits start to progress. The ones that I thought would b like y r u doing that r the most supportive & the ones that I thought would understand, gave me the third degree.. So i wrote a letter to the ones i told & from there thats it thats all.. I included my letter to them sorry so long...

HI ALL IF YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS, IT MEANS THAT I HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DECISION I MADE FOR MYSELF REGARDING MY WIEGHT. MY DECISION DIDN’T HAPPEN OVER NIGHT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I REALLY GAVE THOUGHT TO OVER THE YEARS. I FOUND SOMETHING THAT WAS MUCH SAFER THAN GETTING THE BYPASS AND MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THE LAP-BAND. IT IS CALLED THE VERTICAL SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY.. (FOR SHORT THE SLEEVE OR YOU MAY ALSO HEAR/SEE VGS).. U CAN LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE OR YOU CAN WATCH AN ACTUAL SURGERY ON YOU TUBE, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT IS.

I HAVE BEEN BATTLING WITH MY WIEGHT SINCE I WAS 15 OR 16 YEARS OLD. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS NOT EASY FOR ME TO HANDLE. IVE BEEN TRYING AND HAVE TRIED A LOT OF THINGS AND I STILL FAIL. NOT BEATING MYSELF UP, I KNOW THAT EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND HAS MANY STRENGTHS BUT THIS IS ONE THING THAT KEEPS BEATING ME. I HAVE HEALTH PROBLEMS AND IF I CANT GET THEM UNDER CONTROL ALONG WITH MY WEIGHT IT CAN LEAD TO OTHER PROBLEMS AND POSSIBLY DEATH. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING AND I FEEL THAT THIS WILL DEFINITELY HELP ME.

MY GOAL WITH THIS IS NOT TO JUST BECOME SKINNY, (WHICH IT WOULD BE NICE) I WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND FIT. I WANT TO BE AROUND FOR MY CHILD. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THINGS WITH HER AND NOT BE SO TIRED AND LAZY AND NOT WANT TO. GOING PLACES I CANT PARTICIPATE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT RESTRICTIONS..

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD THAT YOU CAN’T GET ON A RIDE AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK BECAUSE YOU ARE OVER THE WEIGHT LIMIT? DO YOU WORRY WHEN YOU GO OUT TO EAT AS A GROUP AND PRAY THAT THEY HAVE TABLES AVAILABLE AND NOT JUST BOOTHS? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A PLACE WITH ONLY BOOTHS AND TRY TO SQUEEZE INTO THE BOOTH? (AND NOW I CAN HARDLY EAT CUZ MY STOMACH IS PUSHED UP INTO MY CHEST) HAVE YOU BEEN RIDICULED FOR BEING THE SIZE THAT YOU ARE? EVERYDAY I CHOOSE TO DRIVE TO WORK AND PAY FOR PARKING THAT I CANT AFFORD BECAUSE ONCE I GET ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION I HAVE TO ARGUE WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE OF MY WIEGHT AND BELIEVE ME THESE PEOPLE DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SAY TO ME. PEOPLE CAN BE SOOOO RUDE AND MEAN. I CAN SAY I HAVE NEVER WITNESSED THIS BEFORE UNTIL RECENT YEARS.. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO THAT. WHY WORRY ABOUT MY WIEGHT? ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY I KNOW YOU MAY BE CONCERN OR MAY HAVE SOMETHING YOU MAY WANT TO SAY REGARDING IT. I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN BUT ALSO IF YOUR CONCERNS ARE NEGATIVE, I REALLY DON’T NEED THAT RIGHT NOW. I NEED ALL OF THE SUPPORT I CAN GET. IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN NOT GIVE THAT PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WON’T BRING IT UP AGAIN WITH YOU.. I DON’T QUITE KNOW WHAT AFFECT THIS WILL HAVE ON ME BUT I MAY NEED TO TALK AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT SO I NEED THOSE THAT WILL BE THERE TO HAVE MY BACK..

JUST KNOW THAT IM EXCITED, IM SCARED AND IM READY TO GET STARTED ON A NEW LIFESTYLE THAT WILL BRING BENEFITS TO NOT ONLY ME BUT TO JORDYN AS WELL. A LIFESTYLE THAT I WILL HAVE TO ADJUST TO. IT MAY TAKE ME A WHILE TO DO IT BUT I HAVE FAITH IN THE LORD AND IN MY SELF THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. I KNOW THAT THERE ARE POSSIBILITES OF COMPLICATIONS AND EVEN DEATH ( IF ITS MY TIME THEN ITS MY TIME AND I HAVE MADE PEACE WITH THAT) BUT I FEEL IF I CONTINUE DOWN THE ROAD IM ON AND NOTHING GET RESOLVED I WILL FACE THOSE SAME OUT COMES THAT’S POSSIBLE WITH SURGERY.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, LISTENING (READING) AND YOUR SUPPORT, SORRY SO LONG..

LaTasha

Sent from my iPhone using VST

Nice letter. How did they receive this news? Were they supportive or have you told the unsupportive ones to kick rocks? I have only told a few and this is a method I may want to use for my circle.

[awifeinmichigan 233]

Hi all!!! I'm due to be sleeved June 21st... So can't wait!! Anywho, in the beginning of this journey, I kept things to myself. I feared people looking at me crazy or asking if I'm such a proud Big Girl, why am I having this surgery. At that time I only told my family. Well since I got my surgery date (did I mention its June 21st.. Lol), I've began telling people. Some are excited for me and some are skeptical because of people they knew in the past with not so great outcomes of the bypass. My biggest thing is, people I felt would be in my corner are not. What do I do? It's not a reason to cut them off, but at the same time, I don't need/want the negativity around me either....

Congrats on your date it is getting close!!

[DaFierce1 71]

Nice letter. How did they receive this news? Were they supportive or have you told the unsupportive ones to kick rocks? <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> I have only told a few and this is a method I may want to use for my circle.

Lets say out of 15 ppl 3 had something to say.. At first I started feeling some kind of way & I know they r only concern but I had & have to think about me & whats best for me & if they dont want to b on board then they can get off at the next stop.. Lol

After reading this Ive gotten more support from those that were happy for me & the others remained quiet.. Which is fine

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[bamagirl57 17]

Very well said! I too have just begun telling people outside my family that I am having the surgery. I have had zero negative responses. My hairdresser who is absolutely gorgeous and perfectly built "said good for you, I know you have you tried everything to lose weight, this will work!" This really made my day! I have been pleasantly surprised by all of the positive feedback and comments from friends and family. Of course they are worried, but staying obese is far worse when there are ways to get the weight off. My advice to everyone is beware of negative people. Keep them out of your mind! There is only room for positive thoughts there!!

[DaFierce1 71]

Very well said! I too have just begun telling people outside my family that I am having the surgery. I have had zero negative responses. My hairdresser who is absolutely gorgeous and perfectly built "said good for you' date=' I know you have you tried everything to lose weight, this will work!" This really made my day! I have been pleasantly surprised by all of the positive feedback and comments from friends and family. Of course they are worried, but staying obese is far worse when there are ways to get the weight off. My advice to everyone is beware of negative people. Keep them out of your mind! There is only room for positive thoughts there!![/quote']

Amen!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Hi all!!! I'm due to be sleeved June 21st... So can't wait!! Anywho, in the beginning of this journey, I kept things to myself. I feared people looking at me crazy or asking if I'm such a proud Big Girl, why am I having this surgery. At that time I only told my family. Well since I got my surgery date (did I mention its June 21st.. Lol), I've began telling people. Some are excited for me and some are skeptical because of people they knew in the past with not so great outcomes of the bypass. My biggest thing is, people I felt would be in my corner are not. What do I do? It's not a reason to cut them off, but at the same time, I don't need/want the negativity around me either....

It's just the way it is.....unfortunately. I have a few FAMILY members who have never said anything really negitive, ONE has never even acknowledged that I've lost over 80 pounds!!! I am serious. One DID say, this is great if this is what makes you happy. Well, it has, but of course I was not unhappy before, but it is sooooo fun to shop for clothes now. Shallow, maybe, but I'm kind of like the Honey Badger, I don't give a ****

[NiqueJ 140]

I started the same... Wait let me start by saying yayyyy on ur date! Lol

Ok i started the same not really telling ppl but then I started to as my visits start to progress. The ones that I thought would b like y r u doing that r the most supportive & the ones that I thought would understand' date=' gave me the third degree.. So i wrote a letter to the ones i told & from there thats it thats all.. I included my letter to them sorry so long...

HI ALL IF YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS, IT MEANS THAT I HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DECISION I MADE FOR MYSELF REGARDING MY WIEGHT. MY DECISION DIDN’T HAPPEN OVER NIGHT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I REALLY GAVE THOUGHT TO OVER THE YEARS. I FOUND SOMETHING THAT WAS MUCH SAFER THAN GETTING THE BYPASS AND MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THE LAP-BAND. IT IS CALLED THE VERTICAL SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY.. (FOR SHORT THE SLEEVE OR YOU MAY ALSO HEAR/SEE VGS).. U CAN LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE OR YOU CAN WATCH AN ACTUAL SURGERY ON YOU TUBE, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT IS.

I HAVE BEEN BATTLING WITH MY WIEGHT SINCE I WAS 15 OR 16 YEARS OLD. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS NOT EASY FOR ME TO HANDLE. IVE BEEN TRYING AND HAVE TRIED A LOT OF THINGS AND I STILL FAIL. NOT BEATING MYSELF UP, I KNOW THAT EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND HAS MANY STRENGTHS BUT THIS IS ONE THING THAT KEEPS BEATING ME. I HAVE HEALTH PROBLEMS AND IF I CANT GET THEM UNDER CONTROL ALONG WITH MY WEIGHT IT CAN LEAD TO OTHER PROBLEMS AND POSSIBLY DEATH. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING AND I FEEL THAT THIS WILL DEFINITELY HELP ME.

MY GOAL WITH THIS IS NOT TO JUST BECOME SKINNY, (WHICH IT WOULD BE NICE) I WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND FIT. I WANT TO BE AROUND FOR MY CHILD. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THINGS WITH HER AND NOT BE SO TIRED AND LAZY AND NOT WANT TO. GOING PLACES I CANT PARTICIPATE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT RESTRICTIONS..

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD THAT YOU CAN’T GET ON A RIDE AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK BECAUSE YOU ARE OVER THE WEIGHT LIMIT? DO YOU WORRY WHEN YOU GO OUT TO EAT AS A GROUP AND PRAY THAT THEY HAVE TABLES AVAILABLE AND NOT JUST BOOTHS? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A PLACE WITH ONLY BOOTHS AND TRY TO SQUEEZE INTO THE BOOTH? (AND NOW I CAN HARDLY EAT CUZ MY STOMACH IS PUSHED UP INTO MY CHEST) HAVE YOU BEEN RIDICULED FOR BEING THE SIZE THAT YOU ARE? EVERYDAY I CHOOSE TO DRIVE TO WORK AND PAY FOR PARKING THAT I CANT AFFORD BECAUSE ONCE I GET ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION I HAVE TO ARGUE WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE OF MY WIEGHT AND BELIEVE ME THESE PEOPLE DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SAY TO ME. PEOPLE CAN BE SOOOO RUDE AND MEAN. I CAN SAY I HAVE NEVER WITNESSED THIS BEFORE UNTIL RECENT YEARS.. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO THAT. WHY WORRY ABOUT MY WIEGHT? ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY I KNOW YOU MAY BE CONCERN OR MAY HAVE SOMETHING YOU MAY WANT TO SAY REGARDING IT. I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN BUT ALSO IF YOUR CONCERNS ARE NEGATIVE, I REALLY DON’T NEED THAT RIGHT NOW. I NEED ALL OF THE SUPPORT I CAN GET. IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN NOT GIVE THAT PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WON’T BRING IT UP AGAIN WITH YOU.. I DON’T QUITE KNOW WHAT AFFECT THIS WILL HAVE ON ME BUT I MAY NEED TO TALK AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT SO I NEED THOSE THAT WILL BE THERE TO HAVE MY BACK..

JUST KNOW THAT IM EXCITED, IM SCARED AND IM READY TO GET STARTED ON A NEW LIFESTYLE THAT WILL BRING BENEFITS TO NOT ONLY ME BUT TO JORDYN AS WELL. A LIFESTYLE THAT I WILL HAVE TO ADJUST TO. IT MAY TAKE ME A WHILE TO DO IT BUT I HAVE FAITH IN THE LORD AND IN MY SELF THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. I KNOW THAT THERE ARE POSSIBILITES OF COMPLICATIONS AND EVEN DEATH ( IF ITS MY TIME THEN ITS MY TIME AND I HAVE MADE PEACE WITH THAT) BUT I FEEL IF I CONTINUE DOWN THE ROAD IM ON AND NOTHING GET RESOLVED I WILL FACE THOSE SAME OUT COMES THAT’S POSSIBLE WITH SURGERY.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, LISTENING (READING) AND YOUR SUPPORT, SORRY SO LONG..

LaTasha

Sent from my iPhone using VST[/quote']

Thank you for your response, I nearly cried reading this. I've felt some of the same things.... Booths are the devils... Lol. I've not really had any health problems (knock on wood), but my #1 reason for having this surgery is because I was told 10 years ago that I would not be able to have kids due to my PCOS. Over the years as friends and cousins had kids, I've always joked about being too young and just not ready. In reality I was depressed and dying in the inside with the truth. It's too much to explain why you can't have kids as well as a downer, so I played a role. I played it so well that I almost couldn't tell the truth from the lie. I've never been a fan if bypass nor the band. But when they came out with the Sleeve, I followed, researched, prayed, waited till they figured out the kinks and made adjustments. When the moment was right, it hit me and I knew it. I've been at this for over a year and thru two dr's (the first dr's staff wasn't too friendly). The dr I'm using now is a God send. I'm excited, nervous, happy, and ready. My mom is more excited than I am. My support system outweighs the naysayers by triple and that's who I'm leaning on. Like you and everyone else said, this is for me and my health... Whoever don't like it, can surely kick rocks! I am sooo Thankful for VST, having an awesome support system here means more than anything!!! Even though we are strangers to each other, we are still family. I love this forum, it's like talking to long distance cousins about the one amazing thing we have in common... A better healthier life!!!