Well... The Truth Finally Came Out!

[RAAinNH 113]

My husband is trying to be supportive?

I am still pre-op, I have my meeting with the surgeon next week and will get my surgery date : ) I am successfully working on losing the required 15 pound weight loss. Just about every evening after dinner, my husband offers to make a run to McDonalds for a McFlurry. I politely say "no thanks". Last night he mentioned that he would like corn on the cob this week end. I told him that I would pick up a couple of ears for him... that's when the truth starting pouring out! "What am I supposed to do when you are on this restrictive diet after surgery?" "I'll never have a decent meal again" At this point, I was tuning him out... all I heard was..."blah,blah, blah, blah". So I had to reassure this very capable of cooking for himself if worse came to worse, man, that he would continue to eat even after my surgery.

It's true that I did not have success with the lapband. After reading this forum on a regular bases, I realize that at the very least, I need to have the band removed before it causes damage to my insides (I already have nasty reflux). I get my support from all of you that are on the same journey and I am so grateful... thank you! My husband is under the impression that if the band didn't work, the sleeve won't either. He keeps telling me that he loves me the way I am. Well, I have what is starting to become a very long list of health issues...high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides,diabetes (although, my last A1C was normal : ) I'm living with one kidney after I lost the other to cancer 8 years ago and I have sleep apnea. Without my beloved CPAP, I snore like a wild buffalo. I need to lose weight for my health. The nurse practitioner, who is the head of the bariatric program I attend, told me that having gastric sleeve surgery will greatly improve my metabolic disease. I am very encouraged! I want to live a long healthy life!

Well... I'm off to go food shopping. I must remember to get hubby his two ears of corn!

[awifeinmichigan 233]

My husband is trying to be supportive?

I am still pre-op, I have my meeting with the surgeon next week and will get my surgery date : ) I am successfully working on losing the required 15 pound weight loss. Just about every evening after dinner, my husband offers to make a run to McDonalds for a McFlurry. I politely say "no thanks". Last night he mentioned that he would like corn on the cob this week end. I told him that I would pick up a couple of ears for him... that's when the truth starting pouring out! "What am I supposed to do when you are on this restrictive diet after surgery?" "I'll never have a decent meal again" At this point, I was tuning him out... all I heard was..."blah,blah, blah, blah". So I had to reassure this very capable of cooking for himself if worse came to worse, man, that he would continue to eat even after my surgery.

It's true that I did not have success with the lapband. After reading this forum on a regular bases, I realize that at the very least, I need to have the band removed before it causes damage to my insides (I already have nasty reflux). I get my support from all of you that are on the same journey and I am so grateful... thank you! My husband is under the impression that if the band didn't work, the sleeve won't either. He keeps telling me that he loves me the way I am. Well, I have what is starting to become a very long list of health issues...high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides,diabetes (although, my last A1C was normal : ) I'm living with one kidney after I lost the other to cancer 8 years ago and I have sleep apnea. Without my beloved CPAP, I snore like a wild buffalo. I need to lose weight for my health. The nurse practitioner, who is the head of the bariatric program I attend, told me that having gastric sleeve surgery will greatly improve my metabolic disease. I am very encouraged! I want to live a long healthy life!

Well... I'm off to go food shopping. I must remember to get hubby his two ears of corn!

My husband is really supportive, but some days I can sense some hesitation and fear. I just asure him that this process is for a greater good. Your husband loves you now as you are and will love the new you!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

It's too bad your hubby can't just be supportive and stop trying to sabotage your diet. I was very lucky to have a supportive husband. Right before the surgeon came in I told my husband and son that I wanted to run and he told me to just do it. Never talked about it and then he pushed me to talk to my beautiful niece who has diabetes that is totally out of control to have this surgery. That really rocked my boat. He love's my body even with the saggy boobs and no butt. LOL

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

name='RAAinNH' timestamp='1369582654' post='832599']y working on losing the required weight - keeps telling me that he loves me the way I am. high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides,diabetesl : one kidney - lost the other to cancer 8 years ago - sleep apnea.

RAAinNH[/b]

i'm soooo sorry your "DH"?? isn't being supportive

maybe as time passes he will be a little more helpful - or at least not try and sabatoge you so much

I never understand when a man or women - even a family member says "I luv you just the way you are"??????

they don't mind if you staying overweight???

you look great to them anyways???

thats all well and good - people should love you for how you are, no matter what

but when they know your health is being effected causing terrible morbities - OMG !!!!

how could anyone love you like you are????

I was never a great "Donna Reed" cook

i would cook sometimes, he would open a frozen pkg of something for us or mainly we would go out to eat

sounds like he is a pretty competent guy - he's able to tell you to buy this and that!!!!

he is probably "competent" enough to take care of himself with meals sometimes

later, meals you make - like chicken et al - he will enjoy

you are doing great with pre-op

i know you'll do even better with WLS

speedy recovery

good luck

kathy

btw - he can buy his own corn tonight

[HoosierGirl 780]

I am sure he knows logically that you will benefit from weight loss via the sleeve. And he may not really understand how the sleeve is different than the band. Still, he is probably scared that your new reality is going to change HIS reality too.

Talk about it now. Don't let it continue. Even if he agrees to disagree with your decision, you need to clearly tell him that this is happening and things will change. You don't need his support, but don't need negativity either.

Glad you are hearing about it now instead of after surgery. Good luck!

[Not Applicable 52]

I am very lucky my husband didn't marry me for my cooking. He says he married me because I'm hot!

I make 1 healthy meal and enough for 2. If my husband doesn't want or like what I'm having he can pick something up or make something for himself. IMHO: He is almost 40, has 2 hands, 2 feet, and quite capable. And, I am his wife, not his mom.

[brandnewbie 42]

Hey :-)

I feel the best thing you can do to help him is to keep talking. Make sure you tell him all the reasons that you tell us, if you haven't already. If food has been center stage in a lot of the things you do together, maybe it's partially a commonality fear. Is it possible that any of his concerns stem from watching your frustration from the band and he is afraid you'll be let down by yet another tool? I ask this because my mom was very much against this surgery until I got her to unload all her reasons so we could talk about them. I have no doubts that your hubby loves you and maybe just needs a reminder that it's sooo important for you to love yourself enough to live your best life so you will be around to puree said corn after he no longer has the teeth to chew it. :-)

[babywools 34]

I am very lucky my husband didn't marry me for my cooking. He says he married me because I'm hot!

I make 1 healthy meal and enough for 2. If my husband doesn't want or like what I'm having he can pick something up or make something for himself. IMHO: He is almost 40' date=' has 2 hands, 2 feet, and quite capable. And, I am his wife, not his mom.

[/quote']

What she said!

[vsginnj 415]

Hey :-)

I feel the best thing you can do to help him is to keep talking. Make sure you tell him all the reasons that you tell us' date=' if you haven't already. If food has been center stage in a lot of the things you do together, maybe it's partially a commonality fear. Is it possible that any of his concerns stem from watching your frustration from the band and he is afraid you'll be let down by yet another tool? I ask this because my mom was very much against this surgery until I got her to unload all her reasons so we could talk about them. I have no doubts that your hubby loves you and maybe just needs a reminder that it's sooo important for you to love yourself enough to live your best life so you will be around to puree said corn after he no longer has the teeth to chew it. :-)[/quote']

And that's what's up!!

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Men are funny. My husband feared that we wouldn't have our Friday night dates. He was scared I'd never be able to eat with him again. LoL Reassure your husband that he will NOT do without food, and before your know it, he'll be sharing with you!!! Mine never did without, six weeks out, we were basically eating the same things. He started eating healthier a year prior to MY surgery due to a health scare. 95% blockage in one artery. Life is good, better than ever, and normal.