Why are so many people disappointed when they "only lose" this and that much weight?

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I think it is compassionate to let people know losing 100 pounds in a month is unrealistic! It makes the process a lot easier and more enjoyable to have realistic expectations.

[NMJG 1,266]

This is an interesting topic. As a pre-sleever, I really appreciate all the knowledge I get on these forums, and sure, the glamour stories are awesome. However, for me, the best stories are from people who have kept the weight off (the longer the better), not how fast they lost it.

[SeriouslyChange 319]

I am guilty of being one of those people! lol That being said, I'm hoping to hit 100lbs down by my 6 month check up. did I lose a great amount? yes! am I happy? yes! does it make me kinda come down on myself when I ready that someone else has lost 130 in 6 months? absolutely. I, now, don't care. I've stalled at least 5 times. I'll admit, pre-op, I was hoping to be down 125 in 6 months. post op, I am thankful for the energy, the ability to jump, and I can see my va jay jay after all of these years! I think its just a learning experience. We all start out as newbies and earn our stripes as the months go by.

[LifetimeLoser 208]

I think it is hard not to compare yourself to others. It is just life and social norm. I also think people can be overly emotional after they have surgery. I mean our bodies just went through a major change. I do not post about being a "slow loser", but when I see people who have lost more than me and they have had surgery just recently I do start to compare. I don't get depressed. I just want to know if there is anything I can do better. One of my major obstacles was that I wasn't getting enough calories to maintain my lifestyle and I kept hitting stalls. I agree about some posts. I have seen people post about I only lost 20 pounds in two weeks and now the scale hasn't budged in 2 days. Really? I prefer not to comment on threads like those. I think some people are sincerely concerned about their progress...I mean it is hard to gauge because everyone is so different. I also think some people just want some attention.

I think if it is a real concern like the scale hasn't moved for a couple of weeks and you are brand new, or you gained weight, or you haven't lost for more than a month then I can understand freaking out and looking for some advice.

[NancyDec20 212]

Please dont leave because of the negativity.. we all lose at a different rate..and its true..the heavier you are the more faster you are going to lose that wt.. then when they get to where most are.. its a slower process.. yes mine has come off quickly.. but now ive slowed up. but thats ok.. its just my body adjusting to its new self.. no im not at my goal wt.. but I have lost 94lbs.. and thats great.. I love that.. I have worked hard at that..and Im proud of that.. I eat what my doc says.. I follow the rules he layed out for me.. I dont eat all that crap then wonder why Im not losing any weight.. or wonder why my stomach hurts cuz ive eaten something I wasnt suppose to have when I was on a puree diet.. Im not missing cheese burgers... or missing out on anything.. I eat what I want..but I eat very good things.. healthy things.. Protein and sip my water.. no sodas.. no flat sodas... I dont miss that either.. I dont miss being the big girl... I like the new me.. and Im not going back..and if others wish to ruin that for them selves.. then good throw your money away.. complain... whine... I just know im doing the right thing..and so are you.. if they dont like it then find a new place to go whine... everyone is different.. (off the soap box now) lol.. Im usually encouraging people.. but enough is enough.. they know they are doing wrong.. and know what to do to change that.. keep up the good work.. it will all come in time..

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I think that a lot of people come here and read stories like yours!!

What I mean is' date=' SOME new people come here and are naturally drawn to the "success" stories over the "regular" old people just here losing weight a a "slower" pace..

I saw your thread the other day, about losing 120 pounds in 7 months and almost at goal! (Still waiting for pics ) well that's exciting to newbies!

They don't chime In on any of the threads where We are talking about the all to true reality of losing 60 or less in 6 months. Or if the do they say things like "omg this is scaring me" or "what are you doing wrong" But for the most part they see those and think well "hopefully that won't happen to me" and keep on moving until they see the headline "I lost 140 pounds in 6 months!!! Now that's exciting?

We all now this is a "journey" but I also think we all secretly wish that we were miracle losers..

[/quote']

Hey I believe that each and every one of us are miracle losers. Look at us now.

[No game 14,437]

Hey I believe that each and every one of us are miracle losers. Look at us now.

Girl I know..... It's a miracle I'm even losing!!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Please dont leave because of the negativity.. we all lose at a different rate..and its true..the heavier you are the more faster you are going to lose that wt.. then when they get to where most are.. its a slower process.. yes mine has come off quickly.. but now ive slowed up. but thats ok.. its just my body adjusting to its new self.. no im not at my goal wt.. but I have lost 94lbs.. and thats great.. I love that.. I have worked hard at that..and Im proud of that.. I eat what my doc says.. I follow the rules he layed out for me.. I dont eat all that crap then wonder why Im not losing any weight.. or wonder why my stomach hurts cuz ive eaten something I wasnt suppose to have when I was on a puree diet.. Im not missing cheese burgers... or missing out on anything.. I eat what I want..but I eat very good things.. healthy things.. Protein and sip my Water.. no sodas.. no flat sodas... I dont miss that either.. I dont miss being the big girl... I like the new me.. and Im not going back..and if others wish to ruin that for them selves.. then good throw your money away.. complain... whine... I just know im doing the right thing..and so are you.. if they dont like it then find a new place to go whine... everyone is different.. (off the soap box now) lol.. Im usually encouraging people.. but enough is enough.. they know they are doing wrong.. and know what to do to change that.. keep up the good work.. it will all come in time..

I love the way u sum this up. In a support group we need people who will confront others to help them get back in track. There are all kinds of people that are either supportive or challenging just like in our communities. It would be more productive if the person confronting dies it in a loving caring way. IMO

[NtvTxn 1,262]

As a 'veteran' sleever.....I have to post SOMETHING!!! I consider myself a success story....at least I am so far, I did not consider myself a slow loser, but I think most might think so. I've lost 83 pounds, but 23 of that was prior to surgery. The additional 60 took six months, so. On average, ten pounds per month. It did vary though, 7 one month, 13 another, but, on average, ten pounds. We have to look at the whole picture, Celebrate every pound, celebrate when you see your collar bone for the first time and when you realize there ARE hipbones, believe it or not. It is drastic surgery, it even sounds a little barbaric when you tell others that you've had about 85% of your stomach removed, cut out.....pulled through a little opening by your navel. Yikes!!! That said.....the weight WILL come off, melt away, disappear, but it is not going to be overnight and if you are cheating, it will be slower and everyone knows what I mean by 'cheating'. If you are taking a bite here and there of slider foods, a small glass of wine, an itty, bitty beer....well, that IS cheating. This is NOT a diet, it is a new way of life, but with that, comes sacrifices, at least until you reach your goal. Anybody who does not get that....well, I don't think there is a thing I can say to convince you. Tiff use to say, if you want something sugarcoated, then get a donut. I am not going to sugarcoat this. Are these sacrifices forever, you ask. No, but until you reach goal, during this honeymoon period, it is essential that you follow the plan, don't eat anything you shouldn't. Make lifestyle changes that become habit, a new way of life....weigh and measure your food, log what you eat, keep track. On the news this morning, diet was being discussed, just NORMAL dieters. The doctor being interviewed said that people who do NOT keep track of what they eat, who don't actually 'log it', they eat about 500 calories more than they THINK they are eating. A quarter of that is enough to totally undermine the "drastic" steps we've taken. This may sound harsh, but I'm telling you what I've done.... for three years I've weighed every morning, I'll do this forever; I continue to weigh or measure my food when I am at home. I still eat off a smaller plate most of the time. I still do NOT drink when I eat. I still try and 'eat under' my sleeve, it feels much better. My Protein is where it should be, ususally more than the minimum. Some will say, it works for me but.......but what??? Maybe that is so, but I am not doing anything extra ordinary. I am NOT an exercise guru, I am not doing WW like some are doing, or South Beach or any of the other 'fad' diets most of us tried. This is NOT a diet......this is my new way of life, habit, natural, just like breathing. I may be crazy, but I think most could be preaching the same thing three years out, just like I am.....following what I've said. To me, it's a no brainer, just common sense. I am never deprived, I feel like a normal person, way more disciplined that I use to be. Logging food four years ago, smaller plate, measuring food. Seriously???!!! I'd have just rolled my eyes. Forgive this long post, but I'm not real good at sugarcoating things OR donuts, both leave a nasty taste in my mouth.

[DaFierce1 71]

I'm a pre-sleever & I do get excited when I read about those that lose an enormous amount of weight in a short period of time but that's more than likely because they were heavier. I do remember the (many) times I was on Weight Watchers & after a week' date=' I'd lose 1 or 2 lbs & was disappointed....until my Leader would remind me that I should picture 4 sticks of butter instead of just saying "one pound." He'd say visualize a pound & then when I did, it did seem like I did okay. So people just have a visual idea of themselves dropping all the weight in such a short period of time but truthfully, we all have our own timeline due to our bodies/age/weight & how hard we try & how much we move. Weight loss is an individual thing as far as I'm concerned.

What I don't understand (with all due respect) is why someone gets so upset over other people's threads? Maybe someone is just looking for some encouragement or just to hear from others that are losing at the same rate, so that they don't think they are the "ONLY" ones losing slower at one point or another? I mean, I've not been on this forum that long but I keep re-reading the same posts about those that hit a stall & they're freaking out but it seems EVERYONE hits a stall around the 3 month mark. So I know this in my head but when it comes to my turn, it may freak me out. I just think we all need to be kinder to one another. Period. If one doesn't have any words of encouragement (over & over & over & over) for a new sleever who feels they are a failure, then just ignore the thread & move on. People with weight issues normally suffer from lots of insecurities so it's probably normal for someone to feel they aren't losing fast enough...I don't know...I'm not a psych but just sayin', give your fellow man a hand or just move on if you can't.

IDK, I just see a lack of compassion nowadays with everyone. What ever happened to that? It's nice to come to a forum where you can talk about your personal disappointments or fears. People who haven't been sleeved won't understand the fear some people are facing when they post their issues here.

Anyway, not meaning to criticize the OP but honestly, if a thread bothers you, just skip it.

Peace Out.[/quote']

Well said....

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[ontoanewlife 15]

We all know this is a "journey" but I also think we all secretly wish that we were miracle losers..

I think this sums it up nicely...

[ontoanewlife 15]

As a 'veteran' sleever.....I have to post SOMETHING!!! I consider myself a success story....at least I am so far' date=' I did not consider myself a slow loser, but I think most might think so. I've lost 83 pounds, but 23 of that was prior to surgery. The additional 60 took six months, so. On average, ten pounds per month. It did vary though, 7 one month, 13 another, but, on average, ten pounds. We have to look at the whole picture, Celebrate every pound, celebrate when you see your collar bone for the first time and when you realize there ARE hipbones, believe it or not. It is drastic surgery, it even sounds a little barbaric when you tell others that you've had about 85% of your stomach removed, cut out.....pulled through a little opening by your navel. Yikes!!! That said.....the weight WILL come off, melt away, disappear, but it is not going to be overnight and if you are cheating, it will be slower and everyone knows what I mean by 'cheating'. If you are taking a bite here and there of slider foods, a small glass of wine, an itty, bitty beer....well, that IS cheating. This is NOT a diet, it is a new way of life, but with that, comes sacrifices, at least until you reach your goal. Anybody who does not get that....well, I don't think there is a thing I can say to convince you. Tiff use to say, if you want something sugarcoated, then get a donut. I am not going to sugarcoat this. Are these sacrifices forever, you ask. No, but until you reach goal, during this honeymoon period, it is essential that you follow the plan, don't eat anything you shouldn't. Make lifestyle changes that become habit, a new way of life....weigh and measure your food, log what you eat, keep track. On the news this morning, diet was being discussed, just NORMAL dieters. The doctor being interviewed said that people who do NOT keep track of what they eat, who don't actually 'log it', they eat about 500 calories more than they THINK they are eating. A quarter of that is enough to totally undermine the "drastic" steps we've taken. This may sound harsh, but I'm telling you what I've done.... for three years I've weighed every morning, I'll do this forever; I continue to weigh or measure my food when I am at home. I still eat off a smaller plate most of the time. I still do NOT drink when I eat. I still try and 'eat under' my sleeve, it feels much better. My Protein is where it should be, ususally more than the minimum. Some will say, it works for me but.......but what??? Maybe that is so, but I am not doing anything extra ordinary. I am NOT an exercise guru, I am not doing WW like some are doing, or South Beach or any of the other 'fad' diets most of us tried. This is NOT a diet......this is my new way of life, habit, natural, just like breathing. I may be crazy, but I think most could be preaching the same thing three years out, just like I am.....following what I've said. To me, it's a no brainer, just common sense. I am never deprived, I feel like a normal person, way more disciplined that I use to be. Logging food four years ago, smaller plate, measuring food. Seriously???!!! I'd have just rolled my eyes. Forgive this long post, but I'm not real good at sugarcoating things OR donuts, both leave a nasty taste in my mouth. [/quote']

Appreciate everything you wrote...

Now that's reality...

Thanks for sharing...

[NoneYa 380]

I agree. I'm willing to guess that there are quite a few sleevers who' date=' pre-op, might have been a bit like me. I'm an all-or-nothin' girl when it comes to trying to lose weight, which is one of the reasons I've never been successful long-term. What I mean by that is, for example, when I was on Weight Watchers (for the third or fourth time), if the scale didn't go down as fast as I thought it should, I got so frustrated that I'd lapse back into bad habits. If it wasn't going perfectly, I felt like a failure. Maybe some of the people who vent their frustrations are worried that the scale is starting to tell them they're going to fail AGAIN.

It's hard to be patient when you're afraid. It's hard to be patient when you're worried that whatever weight doesn't fall off in 12 or 18 months is never going to come off (that's an exaggeration, but it's based on the truth that our "optimum window" of weight loss is 1-2 years).

Lots of us have fear before the surgery, and as we all know, sleeving doesn't fix our headspace, only our bellyspace.

We all need to be more patient with ourselves--and with one another.[/quote']

Wise words. I agree with everything you said. I haven't been sleeved yet. I hope to be in the next month. I have gone through all the same things over the years. Trying and failing hurts, it just does. Some of us react to that pain with more resolve and determination and others of us react in a defeated way. I tend to feel defeated. When you read all of the stories and see all the amazing before and after pics it can be very difficult to deal with in a positive way when the scale is saying failure again. It doesn't matter in that moment that you are not a failure. The only thing that you can sometimes see is that you are because as you said, that's the fear. The thing I love about reading through this forum is the support and encouragement given. I would hope that it is being given to those that are feeling scared or down as much as to everyone else. They are after all the ones that need it the most.

[jmiller2013 6]

I've was sleeved 4/9 and since I found this website I have been trying to post the positive things I've experienced. I realize that everyone's surgery is different, and that everyone feels differently afterwards, but I hope each day gets a little better until one day you realize you feel great, have lots if energy, and are losing more weight than you've ever lost before. Each day I can walk farther, I'm down two clothes sizes And i I can cross my legs when I sit down. I try to Celebrate the little things. My scale doesn't move for a few days, And then suddenly I'm down 2-3 pounds. My nutritionist helps a lot, too. For those that are having surgery, my experience is the norm. Not the exception. Just do it!

[iontash 25]

Before my surgery I found the many "stall" posts to be discouraging, not necessarily negative. Eating 500 calories a day or less and exercising 5 days a week with little to no weight loss is frustrating with or without surgery and people come here to vent and give and receive support. I will admit, before my surgery I stayed off of this site because those posts worried me. But I'm three weeks out and have been in my first stall" and seeing that many other people have gone and are going through the same thing has actually reassured me that I'm not doing anything wrong and that it's just a part of the process. I have also been having gas pain and have been reassured by various posts about gas. Don't leave, just don't click on the posts you aren't interested in reading.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 206 DOS was May 7th 2013