Why are so many people disappointed when they "only lose" this and that much weight?

[Sweetcarol238 181]

I have to vent...it's so aggravating when people get this surgery and then complain that its been 2 days and they didn't lose 100 pounds. Maybe we all have different expectations, but I can't believe people who have just had the surgey and are upset they only lost a "few pounds". This isn't a cure all, miracle...it's hard work and it takes time. I didn't gain 140 pounds in a night....and I am not going to wake up in recovery 140 pounds lighter. I am very happy with my success...but I think I have to leave this forum as there is way too much negativity and I am only about positive things now. Sorry...just so frustrated reading these posts.

[rybecca20 160]

Girl I hear ya!! It takes all I got not to write a negative posts when people are posting these kinds of issues. Every single body is different and men lose faster than woman! It's crazy that everyone wants to compare themselves. Just work hard and you will lose. It's not a race it's a lifestyle!! Live it and be happy with your success!!!?

[cinward2001 141]

I understand it. Especially in the earlier days, when it's harder to just drink liquids and the surgery is so "fresh." I feel like the surgery was drastic, the results should be drastic. I know better...I took a year to lose 85 lbs with the band. It's also a bit about the worry, too. Worry that this won't work, worry that I'll stay hungry even after moving to solid foods, etc. So looking at the numbers on the scales is a way to offset some of that worry and the more they move, the more comforting.

I've been frustrated that the scales haven't moved since I've been home. I'm going to try to let go of that today and remember that they ARE DOWN from pre-op. I don't know what I weighed on my home scales before leaving, but they're down at least 5-10 lbs (in about 2 weeks). So I need to remind myself that I AM happy with that, I'm HAPPY that I'm wearing some blue jeans that I wouldn't wear before the surgery, etc.

Being unhappy just makes me want to eat more. So I have to focus on the NSVs of recovery, those jeans, etc.

So I don't think it's negativity at all...I think it's worry and frustration..just plain ol' being SCARED.

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I agree 100%!!!! This isn't liposuction! I don't usually answer those posts because it's ridiculous! This surgery cut out part of the stomach ....nothing more. Your body is going to lose at the pace it chooses. I'm sure we all wish for immediate results but it doesn't work like that. You WILL NOT lose every day, week, or even month. You still have to bust your ass to get the results you want. Good luck everyone!

[newat52 1,613]

Please don't leave, we need more realistic folks in here! I do think that a lot of people think this is a magic bullet. Its not. At all. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done but the best thing I have done for my health and would do it again in a New York minute! I just commented the other day on poster who is considering the sleeve and she cited some examples on how she is in the mindset that losing 100 pounds in 14 months is minimal. All the examples she gave the loss was on average over 7 pounds per month! I commented that 7 pounds per month on average is ANYTHING but minimal! She disagreed with me and insisted that to her it is. A few do manage to lose 200 pounds in a year but those are usually very high BMI people. I do believe she will be let down if she "only" loses 75 pounds in 6 months. I would be dancing on the table for that!

Of course my favorite one was a poster who was about 7 months out or so and had not lost any weight in several months and was wondering why her sleeve was not working. Only being about 5 weeks out at the time didn't give me a lot of experience to draw from but I asked if she was following the the NUT eating plan? Was she working out? Drinking the necessary Water? Was she eating slider foods? Her reply was while she would love to be doing that, she had no self control and therefore was hungry all the time and following the NUT plan and working out was not a viable option. (I promise I am not making this up!) Wow. Just wow! What can you say to that?

We need to be patient, the weight didn't come on over night and it won't leave that way either. All I know is that at almost 12 weeks post op, I feel better, inside and out, I look better and I am so much healthier than I was pre surgery and even though I am only half way there, I know it will come off, it has no choice as long as I follow the plan. It's worth waiting for and celebrating the accomplishments along the way!

[kulita 243]

It is a miracle to me.... I mean with living with PCOS, it was a miracle that the scale moved even half a lb. I am TOTALLY happy with any results I get.

[Chimera 644]

I hear you as well! This really is a process - I too could (and can) get down on myself for not having gotten to goal yet at one year out, but I am getting there, and I feel about a million times better than I did last year and the decade prior to that.

This process involves so many aspects of ourselves and many issues arise - especially if you have more than 100 to lose, its been on a long time and you are older.

Issues with not feeling great, nutrition, and movement the first months, constipation/elimination, starting to move more, the clothing issue - where I found I would buy inexpensive items two sizes smaller than normal so they would last longer than a minute, dramatic ongoing body, muscle and skin changes, and all of the social, and emotional issues we must face every single day.

I know that I am working hard on learning to take very good care of myself and pay attention to my physical body - at a year out it can become very easy to slip back into old habits, the weight losses slow down a lot - I have heard one must work twice as hard to lose 1/2 as much at this point, and I would agree...it is part of the process.A big part of the process for me is to recognize just how well I have done, and to learn how to NOT rip myself to shreds for a mistep, to not compare myself to others - but only to my old self. This is probably the hardest work of all.

As for the complaints of not losing fast enough - I dont bother much with reading that stuff - I figure it is just folks blowing off steam, and feeling scared, they will figure it out.

My monthly losses are on my profile page. Slow and steady still amounts to ridiculous amounts of weight over time..I posted pics in the success stories thread to see just how much about 100 lbs off looks on my husband and I - its pretty significant.

[No game 14,437]

I have to vent...it's so aggravating when people get this surgery and then complain that its been 2 days and they didn't lose 100 pounds. Maybe we all have different expectations, but I can't believe people who have just had the surgey and are upset they only lost a "few pounds". This isn't a cure all, miracle...it's hard work and it takes time. I didn't gain 140 pounds in a night....and I am not going to wake up in recovery 140 pounds lighter. I am very happy with my success...but I think I have to leave this forum as there is way too much negativity and I am only about positive things now. Sorry...just so frustrated reading these posts.

I think that a lot of people come here and read stories like yours!!

What I mean is, SOME new people come here and are naturally drawn to the "success" stories over the "regular" old people just here losing weight a a "slower" pace..

I saw your thread the other day, about losing 120 pounds in 7 months and almost at goal! (Still waiting for pics ) well that's exciting to newbies!

They don't chime In on any of the threads where We are talking about the all to true reality of losing 60 or less in 6 months. Or if the do they say things like "omg this is scaring me" or "what are you doing wrong" But for the most part they see those and think well "hopefully that won't happen to me" and keep on moving until they see the headline "I lost 140 pounds in 6 months!!! Now that's exciting?

We all now this is a "journey" but I also think we all secretly wish that we were miracle losers..

[Eva Linder 47]

I am only 4 days post-op and I am so happy for having done this. I see it as a start on a very long journey to helth. I seriously don´t see weight loss as priority one. I see my health restored. If I loose weight in the process, great. So it´s a win win however you see it.

[Vixynne 695]

So I don't think it's negativity at all...I think it's worry and frustration..just plain ol' being SCARED.

I agree. I'm willing to guess that there are quite a few sleevers who, pre-op, might have been a bit like me. I'm an all-or-nothin' girl when it comes to trying to lose weight, which is one of the reasons I've never been successful long-term. What I mean by that is, for example, when I was on Weight Watchers (for the third or fourth time), if the scale didn't go down as fast as I thought it should, I got so frustrated that I'd lapse back into bad habits. If it wasn't going perfectly, I felt like a failure. Maybe some of the people who vent their frustrations are worried that the scale is starting to tell them they're going to fail AGAIN.

It's hard to be patient when you're afraid. It's hard to be patient when you're worried that whatever weight doesn't fall off in 12 or 18 months is never going to come off (that's an exaggeration, but it's based on the truth that our "optimum window" of weight loss is 1-2 years).

Lots of us have fear before the surgery, and as we all know, sleeving doesn't fix our headspace, only our bellyspace.

We all need to be more patient with ourselves--and with one another.

[newat52 1,613]

I agree. I'm willing to guess that there are quite a few sleevers who, pre-op, might have been a bit like me. I'm an all-or-nothin' girl when it comes to trying to lose weight, which is one of the reasons I've never been successful long-term. What I mean by that is, for example, when I was on Weight Watchers (for the third or fourth time), if the scale didn't go down as fast as I thought it should, I got so frustrated that I'd lapse back into bad habits. If it wasn't going perfectly, I felt like a failure. Maybe some of the people who vent their frustrations are worried that the scale is starting to tell them they're going to fail AGAIN.

It's hard to be patient when you're afraid. It's hard to be patient when you're worried that whatever weight doesn't fall off in 12 or 18 months is never going to come off (that's an exaggeration, but it's based on the truth that our "optimum window" of weight loss is 1-2 years).

Lots of us have fear before the surgery, and as we all know, sleeving doesn't fix our headspace, only our bellyspace.

We all need to be more patient with ourselves--and with one another.

You are so right. I think a lot of us fall into the "all or nothing" dieting mentality. I know I did (do). What is this thing called moderation? I sure didn't (don't) know. Changing that mindset is and will be my most challenging aspect (outside of the first month Constipation issue, but that's a whole other story!). I know without a doubt it will challenge me in the weeks and months to come as I learn this new lifestyle. Throwing out my "expectations" in this journey is not easy. Its hard. Really, really hard. However, if I am to succeed, I must, must, must master that concept. Pre op diet?. Check. All in. Post op phases? Check. All in. I'm on your own now and must own what I eat? Gulp! So far, all in. What's going to happen when I finally give in and have a chip? I can only pray! Scared shitless? You bet! That is when the "real" work begins.

We do need to be patient with ourselves and others. Everyone's journey is a different path, but with the same goal, to become a healthy person at a healthy weight. I hope people are really doing the research and going into this with eyes wide open but I don't think everyone does. Some people do think this is a magic bullet and then are very let down when they are realizing after the fact that it's not. I think the realistic people are the ones that are really scared prior to surgery. I know I was.

Note to all of us: Must. Learn. Patience.

Note to self: Must. Master. Moderation.

[newat52 1,613]

We all now this is a "journey" but I also think we all secretly wish that we were miracle losers..

Or maybe we all have a different definition of miracle? For me, this is a miracle. :)

[Pixie Dust 526]

I'm a pre-sleever & I do get excited when I read about those that lose an enormous amount of weight in a short period of time but that's more than likely because they were heavier. I do remember the (many) times I was on Weight Watchers & after a week, I'd lose 1 or 2 lbs & was disappointed....until my Leader would remind me that I should picture 4 sticks of butter instead of just saying "one pound." He'd say visualize a pound & then when I did, it did seem like I did okay. So people just have a visual idea of themselves dropping all the weight in such a short period of time but truthfully, we all have our own timeline due to our bodies/age/weight & how hard we try & how much we move. Weight loss is an individual thing as far as I'm concerned.

What I don't understand (with all due respect) is why someone gets so upset over other people's threads? Maybe someone is just looking for some encouragement or just to hear from others that are losing at the same rate, so that they don't think they are the "ONLY" ones losing slower at one point or another? I mean, I've not been on this forum that long but I keep re-reading the same posts about those that hit a stall & they're freaking out but it seems EVERYONE hits a stall around the 3 month mark. So I know this in my head but when it comes to my turn, it may freak me out. I just think we all need to be kinder to one another. Period. If one doesn't have any words of encouragement (over & over & over & over) for a new sleever who feels they are a failure, then just ignore the thread & move on. People with weight issues normally suffer from lots of insecurities so it's probably normal for someone to feel they aren't losing fast enough...I don't know...I'm not a psych but just sayin', give your fellow man a hand or just move on if you can't.

IDK, I just see a lack of compassion nowadays with everyone. What ever happened to that? It's nice to come to a forum where you can talk about your personal disappointments or fears. People who haven't been sleeved won't understand the fear some people are facing when they post their issues here.

Anyway, not meaning to criticize the OP but honestly, if a thread bothers you, just skip it.

Peace Out.

[Hnybear5150 43]

I will tell you why. because after the pain, discomfort, exhaustion, waiting, working out and pre-op crapola......and the misery of the 1st month ... you expect more for what you get @ that moment. you see a post from a moment in time.... its not fair to judge from that. we ALL have the "that's all I lost"moment" then a month goes by and were happy to lose 10lbs not the 1 2 weeks before. also losing quickly makes you feel as though what your doing is working. if the negativity bothers you then add positivity instead of judgement. cause I know I've had my fill of judgment ...and I am sure all of us are

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Sheesh.. There's another post today about the miracle loser and I'd love to be her, but since I've got a good 30+ years on her, oh well.

From day one I was ok with losing normal (or slow, as we call it) because it seems to work better with my mind. It's helping me set my mind around the new lifestyle I'm going to live the rest of my life. I think if I shed all my weight within 6 months, it would make it easier to slide back into my old eating habits.

As re: the OP.. I understand your feelings. If I'm in the mood I respond with "useful knowledge"