My dilemma! I'm terrified I'll gain back ALL the weight after the VSG if I fall pregnant ever again! :(

[MumtazG38 86]

If you don't want to read the whole dang story just move onto the colored text at the very bottom of this post.

I am so conflicted right now! My husband and I have always planned on having a large family. However I'm starting to feel like I'd be the dumbest person alive to actually INTENTIONALLY get pregnant after getting WLS and reaching goal. Especially considering how much it costs out of pocket for us to get pregnant without insurance for my infertility issues!!! We can certainly afford both......but I can't help but feel like maybe I'm being stupid not waiting to get the VSG. But then, when the thought of waiting occurs to me.....I feel like hell because I know that we will have to wait at least 2 years (as usual) to even begin TTC, and with my infertility/pcos it'll be more like at least 3 years to actually fall pregnant. That is so long to remain unhealthy and unable to enjoy my life with my children. I fear becoming diabetic and getting hbp and high cholesterol as I'm already bordeline...and it's only getting worse the longer I wait to lose all this weight! I also feel like if I waited for the WLS, I'd be stealing a further 3 years plus from my children to have a normal healthy mom who can do everything with and for them that a mom should! UGH! So confused.

The thing is.....Both times I've been pregnant, I have had IUGR babies due to my severe loss of appetite coupled with the first two trimesters of nausea. I lose 20-30 lbs everytime I become pregnant, and that effects the growth of the babies not getting enough nutrients like they should. I always thought that even if I wasn't getting any food, the baby was supposed to be fine as he would just take from my body, and the ill effects would just be mine, and mine alone! That is what the doctors told me the BOTH times. But apparently they changed their minds after I had my second child the same way! This last pregnancy I had gestational diabetes, which wasn't even a concern the first time. Both babies weighed approximately 4lbs at birth, and had stopped growing at 37 weeks, and were always measuring 2+ weeks smaller during all of the ultrasounds. Proving that they were not getting what they needed to grow properly. Thank goodness they are both incredibly healthy now and are doing exceptionally well and are not only caught up, but hitting milestones far ahead of their age groups! But the problem still remains, because of my weight and the ever looming PCOS, and pregnancy hormones making me severely ill and causing my loss of appetite due to the PCOS....it's a never ending cycle you know?

I know that if I lost the weight, I'd no longer have PCOS, my hormones would be healthy and normal for once. And any pregnancy from then on forward could only be healthier. My doctors say the same thing. However, we are simply not ready to get pregnant so soon yet as the little one is only 8 months today. However, if I do get the WLS and hit goal by 1 year and maintain for the 2 years after, and THEN decide to get pregnant, I fear that I might just actually GAIN all the weight back trying to EAT and KEEP THINGS DOWN this time around. I know that any time I become pregnant in the future I am dedicated to eating ALOT, whether I can keep it down or not, and eating very healthy despite weight gain or whatever else. I CANNOT have IUGR babies any longer, and my doctor agrees that I am one of those women who absolutely need to eat twice as much in order to keep the growing child healthy. Because of this, I feel like I may ruin all of my success after WLS.

Basically.....I just wanted to know if any of you knows what the likelyhood of gaining all of my weight back and becoming unhealthy like I am today after the procedure is? I don't want to get the procedure now, and have a pregnancy throw me off and back on the train to imminent disease and early death! But, I don't want to not have any more children either. That is just not fair to my husband, and not to myself. Very selfish of me if that thought ever even occurred to me, which it wouldn't! I know some of you will say that I simply should not have any more children, especially since I have 2 already and my pregnancies barely go well. But my doctor's have pinpointed the actual problem and are willing, as am I, to do anything (even if it means to become hospitalized for the first 2 trimesters in order to keep an eye on my food/appetite and the babies growth) to keep the same from happening again. My doctors have both suggested that WLS would be the best option for me, for my health AND for the health of my future pregnancies and children in so many ways. But............why can't I shake the fear that if I end up pregnant after the procedure and eat like I'm supposed to, and successfully gain weight (albeit 11-20 lbs only, since that is the goal my docs have for me since I always lose weight during pregnancy) that I won't be able to get rid of it and then I'll eventually be back where I am because my stomach will have stretched due to the eating!!!

Am I losing my mind here (my doctor sure thinks I am) or are my fears legitimate and rational?

In a nutshell:

I am afraid of gaining the weight back if I fall pregnant 2-3 years after the procedure. I have a habit of losing too much weight DURING a pregnancy, and gaining it back plus some immediately afterwards when I regain my appetite that was suppressed due to my reaction to the hormones during gestation. I can't decide if I should have the surgery now or after I'm through having children. My dilemma is: If I have all of the children I want than I will be waiting 5+ years to have the WLS, and will be in a much much worse place health-wise by then, than I am now. I feel like I'll have stolen those years from my children's lives as well, they deserve all of their mommy...not just what she can barely give. Not to mention the fact that who knows where we may be financially in 5+ years, yes we do have it well planned....but goodness, in this day and age of recession ya never really know do you? Insurance so far, isn't an option, who's to say it would be in the future. I just want to know if you guys think what I fear is likely? If so, how likely is it? Has this happened to anyone after the VSG and having fallen pregnant? If I exercise and keep my calories/carbs down will that help. I just fear that the extra eating I'll have to do to gain enough healthy weight during a pregnancy will stretch my stomach and it will be a never-ending cycle afterwords.

[nonadona 3]

I don't know the answer and am in a completely different boat (surgical menopause); however, I felt compelled to respond anyway. No fear or concern is crazy, there's a lot to consider. A healthier more fit you sooner than later is in my opinion best outcome for your whole family.

After surgery you'll be focused on nutrition By the time the 3yrs speeds by you'll be an expert on what and what-not to eat so you will be in better control of how much pregnancy wt you may gain. Plus if you start that process healthier then that should help eliminate or minimize other poss health issues.

[MumtazG38 86]

I don't know the answer and am in a completely different boat (surgical menopause); however, I felt compelled to respond anyway. No fear or concern is crazy, there's a lot to consider. A healthier more fit you sooner than later is in my opinion best outcome for your whole family.

After surgery you'll be focused on nutrition By the time the 3yrs speeds by you'll be an expert on what and what-not to eat so you will be in better control of how much pregnancy wt you may gain. Plus if you start that process healthier then that should help eliminate or minimize other poss health issues.

Thanks so much for the reply hun! I really value any input at this point, and you just made me feel a lot better! Honestly though, I think exactly like you do. And so do my doctors it seems. Making myself healthy and fit before any attempts at having anymore children is what my doctors are fully focused on right now. My family doctor says she won't be too happy if I don't get the procedure now that we've talked it over so many times and I can not only afford it, but have been approved for it. She thinks it would be foolish to try again for another child with my continuing issues being unresolved. I agree. I just don't want the surgery to be a waste......my doctor says the same as you. That by that time my lifestyle will have changed majorly, by 3 years my stomach will have become adjusted to its maintaining size and I will not stretch it because of the habits of the lifestyle I will be on. I totally get that......just these fears that keep creeping up.lol

[nonadona 3]

I just saw something & thought it might help answer some of your questions & concerns. Scroll in this website down to support groups. There is one entitled Pregnancy with Gastric Sleeve Surgery. If anyone would give you good feedback I bet I could be in there. ????

[MumtazG38 86]

Thank you! Will do!