handling negative WLS opinions

[VSGelle 0]

With a month left to mentally prep for surgery, I'm facing a few altering opinions that left me shaken, hurt, confused, and (quite frankly) pissed.

Encounter: a Massachusetts Planned Parenthood nurse practitioner

I'm between careers at the moment and recently relocated to the East Coast, which means my new health insurance hasn't kicked in yet. My parents (2 of 5 people who know about my surgery plans) insist I see a doctor before my surgery on June 15. It's an understandable request and to put them at ease, so I sought out a doctor/ medical professional who had immediate openings and who wasn't about to murder my bank account (let's face it, I'm a recent college grad who just moved across the country to follow my career dreams and hasn't began making the big bucks yet.) Which landed me at Planned Parenthood -- it was actually a pretty good plan since I had some other lady-bit questions to address.

BOY, WAS I WRONG! The Nurse Practitioner came in to see me and I began to explain how I didn't have insurance, I need a medical opinion about a VSG procedure, I need to ask a few questions about how my body is menstruating, I may need a pap but I'm not sure so I'd like an opinion about that as well, and I may need to be put on birth control but I'm not sure if I should if I'm about to get WLS. The nurse wouldn't even sit down to make me feel comfortable (I was noticeably nervous,) she hovered over me and began lecturing me about going to Mexico for a procedure that most insurances cover. Then I got lectured because I "expected" her to be able to answer questions that only a doctor (after giving me a physical) could answer. She ended her rant by saying "You need to go to a doctor, not Planned Parenthood, but any doctor would just shake his finger at you and tell you not to go to Mexico. If you get sick there's no where around here you can go to seek help -- especially with no insurance. You'll die." She even had the audacity to question if my parents' knew what I was "plotting."

What a slap in the face. I was shocked. Here I am, nervously altering my life to make it a healthier more obtainable lifestyle and I'm being told my actions are foolish and unadvisable. What's the difference where I get the surgery done (besides the cost)??? It's not like I'm asking a random stranger to cut me open, dig around a bit, then cut into a few organs and remove them while I lay in a dirt pit on the side of the road! I just didn't expect a medical professional to lecture and judge me so harshly.

Did anyone else get a negative reaction from outsiders before their procedure? Did it alter your choice in having surgery? How do I handle negative opinions of my WLS decision?

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

The difference is that in Mexico you are most likely going to get a surgeon who has multiple times the experience, also you won't be dealing with a medical industry that has a God complex. From my experience on this forum, you will likely have less chance of complications, and if you do have any you will have a much more attentive medical staff.

I really do not fault the surgeons themselves for this, I see it primarily as a condition caused by a litigious society and an insurance system that forces doctors into an attitude of self preservation before anything else.

[No game 14,437]

What does one do when they have no insurance or the funds for the follow up care, meds, and supplements after they come home from Mexico? And if one does not have insurance how do they handle securing medical care once back in the states if in fact they do end up having complications?

I understand that some here believe that Mexico is "better" than the states and have "less" complications... Whether or not that is true is debatable.

I guess what I'm saying is, this surgery will cost money afterwards too..

And wouldn't it be a good idea to have finances and insurance in place back in the states before getting a surgery in Mexico or anywhere for that matter??

[makemyownluck 785]

Considering she's telling you that you need to see a doctor for these questions, I don't know why she thinks SHE'S qualified to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, when it sounds like you didn't really give her any details.

It is hard, though, to convinice an MD you've never seen before that you think surgery is the best option - they don't have first hand knowledge of what you've weighed, or how long you've been overweight or what you've tried, etc, so they look at this as a "first attempt" going straight to surgery when it should be more of a last resort.

While that nurse may have given you some attitude, she did raise some important points. You do need to find someone (a doctor) who will provide you post-op care in the States. You need to ask what the Mexican clinic/hospital you are going to would do in case of emergency. I think it definitely could've been done in a more professional manner, but ultimately, you get what you pay for!

Definitely do all your research and preparation beforehand so you don't have to deal with it when you're post op. Good luck!

[dma2013 99]

Firstly, I am sorry you were treated in such a negative manner and to add insult to injury you spent money on it!!! How rude and unprofessional!!!

I would encourage you to look at a few different options. If you are under 26 your parents may be able to put you on their insurance (provoding they have it) this premium will probably be reasonably priced. You could also look on the Mass health connector to see about purchasing insurance or you can look into local hospitals that may offer a sliding scale type program. If you were able to do any of the above you should be able to find a general practitioner who can meet with you pre-op and provide follow-up care post op.

I was sleeved in Mass so I don't have experience with Mexico, however I have read many posts on this site as well and have seen many videos on you tube from people who went to Mexico and did great.

Best of luck to you, feel free to message me!

[LI Gemini NY 607]

I think most Americans "put down" medical practices anywhere due to ethnocentrism. We can't help it. We think we're better than everyone when it comes to everything any where else....sad but true.

The reality.....American doctors are bound by laws set forth by "our country" and are held accountable for their actions. They have malpractice insurance etc in case **** hits the fan... In Mexico, the doctors there, are held to standards set forth by "their county". Do you know what those are? Who will be held accountable if **** hits the fan? Can you or your family members communicate effectively with the appropriate authority in a country that has differing customs and a language than your own? Yes, you can always get a translator but have you ever played telephone as a kid?

The doctors there may not be any more or less qualified than the doctors here or anywhere else but how do know for sure besides the Internet...sure you can rely on someone who may or may not exist on an Internet forum but....

Like my mother always says, "good things aren't cheap and cheap things aren't good"

Planned parenthood is not the appropriate place. That's where you go to get info on sexuality related issues, STD's, abortions, birth-control, breast cancer screenings and the likes. This surgery is a bit more complexed and requires professional expertise.

The nurse there could've pointed you in a better direction but unfortunately she chose to be negative instead....don't take it personal, after all some people are just negative. She would have probably reacted the same way even if you went there to get an HIV test....

Since you're not making a lot of money...have you looked into state funded insurance plans that are based on income? The majority of those cover WLS and you could get the pre and post op care you need at no or minimal cost...

Good luck with whatever you chose.