Struggling with the social aspect of food

[Idon'tseeu 16]

I am struggling with the social aspect of food. My friends are all over weight and it seems like all they are interested in is meeting for dinner or meeting for happy hour for drinks. I am trying to encourage them to do other activities that aren't focused on good but no one is interested. I am starting to decline offers to go out and am starting to feel a little lonely. I am trying to change the focus of my life in what I consider an environment that is dangerous to my weight loss success. Has snyone else had this problem and if so, how did you handle it?

[12345 80]

You are on the right track! Changing the focus from food to something else is key. If your friends don't accept your invitations to non-food activities, find a new friend who will. Easier said than done, I know. But try and meet new people at the gym, book clubs, volunteer activities, etc. Your focus has to be on yourself and a healthier lifestyle. Good luck!

[newat52 1,613]

I am a social person and I still go to events and happy hours just fine. I am 11 weeks out and no longer on any dietary restrictions. I have also chosen to keep my medical history private, as I always have. I can always find something healthy and enjoyable. I enjoy a glass of wine and have not really skipped a beat with food related gatherings. To be honest, no one really notices what I eat or don't eat. Sometimes the crunch of the basket of tortilla chips and the sight of my beloved frozen margarita can slightly annoy me but not for long. All I have to do is cross my legs, which I do with ease now and that slight annoyance turn immediately into a big silly grin! I believe I will probably have a sleeve of steel as some do, I have not had any adverse reactions to foods of any sort and look forward to enjoying most things, in much greater moderation. For now, I choose not to eat the empty carbs by having a few chips mostly because once I got over that processed carb craving on my pre op diet, I just have not had the craving and for me, that could be a slippery slope so for now, I will abstain.

I guess what I am trying to say is, while I have changed the way I eat and even how I view food has changed a great deal, everything else is the same. I still enjoy everything I did before. That was one of the many reasons I choose to have my sleeve. To continue to enjoy life as I have, just healthier and longer.

I hope some of this makes sense to you.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm with you, newat52. I am the talker of the group (gasp, imagine that!) and my sorority group of about 12 meets monthly for dinner as does my book club and various work groups.

I will be around food and people who don't ave the struggles I do for life. It's up to me to fix my head and make social gatherings doable. I'm ready for the challenge. I have no doubt it will be hard, but I can do anything, right?

[newat52 1,613]

I'm with you, newat52. I am the talker of the group (gasp, imagine that!) and my sorority group of about 12 meets monthly for dinner as does my book club and various work groups.

I will be around food and people who don't ave the struggles I do for life. It's up to me to fix my head and make social gatherings doable. I'm ready for the challenge. I have no doubt it will be hard, but I can do anything, right?

Except gulp!

[ebonisekim 1,713]

But what about the eating and drinking thirty minutes after that's my problem I get full so fast either I done before everyone or done before everyone then everyone's ordering drink then I have to weight 30 minutes to drinks by that time we are leaving

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Except gulp!

Blowies might be a thing of the past with this gag reflex, too.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

But what about the eating and drinking thirty minutes after that's my problem I get full so fast either I done before everyone or done before everyone then everyone's ordering drink then I have to weight 30 minutes to drinks by that time we are leaving

I usually drive so drinking isn't an issue. I'm no lightweight, but I hear you become one after this process.

[newat52 1,613]

But what about the eating and drinking thirty minutes after that's my problem I get full so fast either I done before everyone or done before everyone then everyone's ordering drink then I have to weight 30 minutes to drinks by that time we are leaving

My NUT says I can drink until I eat then 30 minutes after, that usually works fine as most people don't order right away anyways, as least we usually don't. I can enjoy a glass of wine before we eat and I just usually order some appetizer for my meal so I skip out on everyone else's. I have taken a bite of something from time to time but only one.

I was nervous at first, once I was off diet restrictions but now not at all. While a lot of my friends still focus on food, I focus on the company and really the food is becoming less important. It will take a little time and practice. I am almost 11 weeks out and it has happened faster that I thought. I understand how you feel though, pre op and the first 6 or so weeks our main focus is on food and liquids.

Hang in there and give it a chance. Don't sit at home by yourself. You will get the hang of it before you know it.

[newat52 1,613]

I usually drive so drinking isn't an issue. I'm no lightweight, but I hear you become one after this process.

I got cleared for wine at 6 weeks. I no longer have wine during the week unless we are having a gathering and then only one. I have glass or two on the weekends. The first glass can get me feeling happy but it doesn't last long.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

My NUT says I can drink until I eat then 30 minutes after' date=' that usually works fine as most people don't order right away anyways, as least we usually don't. I can enjoy a glass of wine before we eat and I just usually order some appetizer for my meal so I skip out on everyone else's. I have taken a bite of something from time to time but only one.

I was nervous at first, once I was off diet restrictions but now not at all. While a lot of my friends still focus on food, I focus on the company and really the food is becoming less important. It will take a little time and practice. I am almost 11 weeks out and it has happened faster that I thought. I understand how you feel though, pre op and the first 6 or so weeks our main focus is on food and liquids.

Hang in there and give it a chance. Don't sit at home by yourself. You will get the hang of it before you know it. [/quote']

I still go out and I'm 17 weeks out but it still not the same like before ..

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I still go out and I'm 17 weeks out but it still not the same like before ..

Nope! Big diff? You aren't getting fatter.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

Nope! Big diff? You aren't getting fatter.

I agree .. And I like being thin so who cares rt ..lol shopping is my new best friend

[NtvTxn 1,262]

I'm a Texan and I'm a Baptist, so everything revolves around food. I have been maintaining for 2.5 years and I had no alcohol until I reached goal.....actually not even then, not for a while. I had to get my 'footing' with maintenance. I will have a drink once in a while, but it is seldom. It is all so high in calories. I have a couple of friends who drink a couple of glasses of wine EVERY night and they are not skinny minnies. I am pretty sure they could lose a little weight if they'd cut down to maybe a couple of times per week......I am not sure this is 'possible', if you know what I mean. Anyway, I digress....I never stopped going out to eat, with my husband or friends. I share with him, or I will order Soup or a shrimp cocktail. It can be done, and it can even be healthy!!! Don't worry, this is your new life, you're just learning. Do what feels right, it will all become habit before long!!